From Revenge to Love
by maniac2008
Summary: When Bella finds out that vampires not only exist but also kill her people and rape her, she wants vengeance and goes on a dangerous journey. Nothing will be the same and soon she'll regret her decision. -- M rated for abuse, rape, language, violents!
1. Chapter 1: The new guy

_**Hello fans of fanfiction, this is my very first story and I hope you'll like it as much as I like writing it. **_

_**I guess when you start reading you'll see some English grammar and composition mistakes, which I'm sorry for. English is not my first language but I tried my best to make it readable.**_

_**I would love to get some reviews, don't be shy to write whatever comes to your mind. **_

**Phoenix Arizona October 31th 2006**

Chapter 1

Bella's Point of View

_Great, finally Halloween which is not important but having one whole week off is, meaning not studying for school, just having fun unless mom got other ideas again. As much as I love her, but she can be so annoying, I know I shouldn't talk like this, but honestly, she really should find someone else in her life than me to spend time with. Yes she got her friends but it's not the same as having someone who loves you and after her divorce with dad, she's kind of careful with new guys, first of all because of me, cause she things I still can't handle other men in her life and second she didn't find the right person yet .... and here I make a left turn and start my holiday officially, cause I'm home, yeah, gosh how I love this house. 2 stories with 3 bedrooms and each got it's own bathroom, a huge kitchen and a living room and the best part we got a big pool in the backyard._

I got out of my car and walked to the front door and as I opened it my mom came almost running through the foyer at me and gave me the biggest hug ever as if she hadn't seen me for a while. She is the most beautiful mom one earth I think, she has a slender and curvy figure with full breasts just like I do, but instead of my almost hip length curly dark brown hair and dark brown eyes she got short honey brown wavy hair and almond colored eyes.

" Hi sweetheart, welcome home, I guess you're now the happiest person on earth while you waited weeks for the holidays to come huh? And because I know you perfectly well, I tell you right away, I've got no plans this time for us, I actually met somebody already weeks ago his name is Phil and he's a baseball player, he ask me to come to his boathouse over the holidays and I said yes, but if you like me to stay, I definitely cancel my trip?" She let go off me and closed the door and looked at me with anticipation and I just couldn't get it right away and thought.

_What? .... I can't believe it did she just say she met somebody and want to spend a whole week with this person? Wow I must dreaming, I'm in heaven, I mean ok the information about this guy are kind of bare but I can't care less when I have the chance to be alone a whole week. And my mom maybe found somebody she may love again. _

" Mom this is wonderful, I'm really happy for you, I think you should really go to this Phil and have a great time, you never went further than just going out for dinner and movies. You should start packing and I even going to help you if you like? Does he pick you up?" I started walking to the kitchen to get something to drink and put my backpack on the counter. My mom walked right behind me and I could see that she tried to find a reason not to go.

" Well yes he will pick me up but are you sure? I mean I would stay if you feel uncomfortable with staying here all alone, I mean it's the first time I leave you for a whole week?" _Well don't I know my mom the best? _I turned around and had to hide my grin.

" Hey I'm 16 years old, I've got my drivers license, I've got a car, I've got everything here I need including money and food and whatever you are afraid of I'm not having and trust me when I say I'm glad that you finally found someone. And hey I have some friends here and won't be alone at all.... So mom I guess you just start packing and I'll see you in one week." My mom considered my answer for a second with a frown.

" Well Bella, I know you're very independent even more so than I am and I trust you and know you can handle a whole week and...and...and I think I just try to find a reason not to go."

_Ha I should start working as clairvoyant. Aren't I good in reading my mom? Lol_

" Mom since we know each other so well and trust me it's sometimes very annoying, please don't do it again, I mean I can see you are unhappy and that you crave for someone other than me in your life and ok I don't know this guy yet, but this is the first time after dad, who you ever considered spending more time with, so I guess that means you like him pretty much or you wouldn't have said yes already, right?"

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and knew I won this battle. My mom started to pout in a not stubborn way and finally just nodded and went upstairs packing. I watched my mom leave with a fat grin on my face. Since my mom is occupied and it's just 2 pm which means she will be here for another 5 hours before Phil arrives, I grabbed another coke from the fridge and went upstairs in my room. I'm still totally fascinated by it, it's the biggest room in the house, besides the living room. The walls are purple with arched windows on 3 sides and thick curtains in the same color. The floor is paneled with cherry wood and has a big soft carpet in white on top. My queen size bed is positioned in the middle of the room right under one of the windows. And since I'm not the girl who loves shopping and got thousands of magazines which includes the all new stories about the high society and star-world, I just got a small closet on the left side and a desk to the right also in cherry wood. In the corner on the outside wall is my small so called relaxation area with a huge bookshelf which is more for my liking, I love books and everybody can see that, since the shelf is completely overloaded and you may find more of my fantasy/romance/drama favorites under my bed and in the drawers. There is also a loveseat and a flatscreen, with music and dvd-player combined. I grabbed my book I started to read 2 days ago and sat down in my loveseat. I really enjoy the storys about vampires and werewolves and all the other creatures some authors come up with. It's kind of relaxing to escape in a totally different world for the time being while reading the romance about the vampire who fell in love with this gorgeous vampire slayer who is determined to kill all bloodsuckers, even him. But he is a master vampire and eager to know more about this for him silly woman. To cut a long story short, they fell in love and worked together. Sometimes I get so into the stories I totally forget about time and everything around me. I guess I wouldn't even recognize an earthquake or other catastrophes when they happen. I read and read and read and thought about the story and how it would be if vampires would really exist and if so, what would I do? But I stopped short when somebody knocked on my door.

"Hey sweety, it's time, Phil is here and I wanna say goodbye." I heard my mom go back downstairs.

_Time is definitely running so fast sometimes it's kind of scary, ok lets see who this Phil is._

"I'm coming mom." I got up and walked downstairs just to see my mom and Phil kissing.

_Ok that is definitely weird but cute somehow. _

Phil stopped kissing my mom and looked at me, he was tall maybe six-two, blond short hair and big blue eyes and he has muscles you could even see through his sweater, he stretched his hand out to me and said "Hi I'm Phil and you must be Bella, nice to meet you?!"

_Oh a smart one, why is it that people always ask that very stupid question when it's so obvious? _

I took his hand and felt a cold shock run through me, I stared into his eyes and for a second I thought his eyes were black but as fast as the cold shower came as fast it was gone.

"Hello, yes I'm Bella, nice to meet you too." _Gosh he looked gorgeous, totally beautiful perfect._ I looked at my mom and smiled at her. " Well mom I hope you guys have a great time together?!" She gave me a hug an thanked me and whispered " I am so happy, I can't believe it, please be save and take care and call me, if not I will definitely." then Phil said " Sorry Bella, that we meet under this circumstances, but we will have more time to get to know each other, when I bring you mom back next Friday, it was really nice to meet you and I have to say you're just as gorgeous as your mom" I gave my mom a last wink and watched them walk away to Phil's car which screamed, look at me I have money, he started the engine of his Bentley GT and took off. I watched until I couldn't see them anymore.

_Alright so that was weird, -sorry that we meet under this circumstances-, what circumstances, there are no circumstances huh? I don't know but something is totally wrong....or I just freak out after all that my mom finally got a new guy._


	2. Chapter 2: Halloween Horror comes true

Chapter 2Bella's PoV

I went back into the house and called Vanessa my best friend, to tell her the good news, but of course like so many other times, I've reached her voicemail.

" Hi honey, it's me Bella, I know we meet in one hour but I've got super news, my mom won't be here till next Friday, she got this new guy and they spend the week at the lake, I still can't believe it, so when you come over just bring your stuff and stay here for the rest of the week, I guess I see ya pretty soon, bye." I hung up and took the phone with me and went back in my room to get ready for Halloween. This year I decided to be a witch, nothing spectacular, I actually just go because of Vanessa, she is the total party girl and convinced me, which I still don't know how, but well she did and now I have to go. And I definitely know she will be ostentatious, incredible and just overly herself like always, but hey that's her and we're being friends for the last 10 years or so.

After an hour I showered and got dressed, my costume was a long black shoulder free dress with prongs at the sleeves and hem, to that I wore black boots with high heels but my dress still reached the floor and threw a train then I walked. I made my makeup and somehow even my hair. I usually wear my hair in a ponytail or a messy bun like I love to call it, cause strands of hair hang out in curls around my neck. But today, I kept it in long curls hang around my shoulders with few black highlights, to show my witch image. I checked my watch and saw it's already 9:00 pm and wondered why Vanessa wasn't here already, she's never late, mostly even way to early, so she can fix me up the way she likes it, or so she says all the time.

I got my phone and called her number again and like before I reached her voicemail.

_mmm weird_ I thought but wasn't concerned. I took one last look in the mirror and found myself satisfied, then I got my favorite black purse, my car keys and decided to drive to Vanessa instead of waiting here. When I came outside I stopped and looked up to the stars and took one deep breath. It was still warm, still nice to go without a jacket and the full moon among a cloudless sky enlightened the ground below. It looked so beautiful but at the same time creepy with all the shadows and dark corners, a shiver ran down my spine and I walked to my car, my heels clacked against the concrete and the sound seemed to echo along the silent street, when I closed the car-door I started the engine and took off. It's always amusing how many people actually live in the neighborhood, it's just 3 miles to Vanessas house and on normal days other than Halloween, you can't really see the people, they hide inside or something. In the morning you see some of them get in their cars and drive to work I guess or in the evening when they come back. And now you have hundreds of kids and adults lurking through the neighborhood in costumes and trying to get as much candy as they can.

Up ahead I saw Vanessas street coming up, I pulled over and parked right in front of the house which was all lighten. _Why didn't she pick up the phone when she is here or maybe her family came back earlier from their vacation. _

I took the 3 steps to the door in 3 strides and rang the bell and waited. After a few seconds and no sound coming from the house I tried it again,.... still no answer.

_Ok so if that's a joke than I'm the one who thinks it's not funny at all, it's not nice to let people waiting. _

I rang the bell one more time, but still everything was quiet, I turned around and walked to the suppose to be kitchen window, I glanced inside, but there was nobody to be seen then I went further around the house to see if they might be in the living room.... nothing.

_Maybe I should just leave and wait until Vanessa decided that this suppose to be joke is not funny anymore and she's calling to apologize, because that she definitely has to do later. _

I looked up to one of the windows and thought I saw a shadow behind it. That made me even angrier and walked back to the front door and turned the knob. The door wasn't locked which is nothing unusual, this neighborhood is safer than any prison. Here living so many curious neighbors they keep watching the windows, just to see if maybe someday something will happen. " Hey Vanessa, it's me Bella, you can come out now, I saw that somebody is here in the house and I think it's not very kind that you sneak around and try to scare me or something and also not calling me back. We are suppose to be at Jareds in 5 minutes, usually you hate to be late especially when it's Jared, so common now, or I drive back home, you know I just go because of you?!"

I waited minutes just standing in the foyer looking up to the second floor but nobody came, not even a sound. I took the steps in slow strides and with the carpet there was no sound of my footsteps. I slowed down when I reached the top just to listen but as before there was nothing. I turned right to go to Vanessas room and saw some dark red fluid coming from below the threshold, I stopped short, starring at the liquid coming in slow motion from the other side of the closed door. _Alright this is the best faked blood I've ever seen....or so I try to convince myself _"I'm coming in now" I kept on walking, but a shiver ran through my veins and the closer I came the colder it got. A prickle on my skin left me trembling in the hallway. I started to have a bad feeling in my gut, but curiosity kept me moving and I opened the door in one fast sway. A sudden smell of blood, salt and metal reached my nose and I needed all my strength not to vomit, the blood on the floor got worse and the trail drew along next to Vanessas bed. I swallowed when I saw a part of a foot" Va-ne-ssa?" _Please don't let it be her, please don't let it be her, please don't let it be her_

I more than dragged myself over to the bed and started screaming then I saw Vanessas naked body face down on the floor. Her body bruised and sliced open on her back. I swallowed hard and couldn't breath, tears running down my face, I kneeled down, I didn't care or think about the blood and turned her over. _Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god. _Her eyes were open, fear written in her features, her throat had two wounds on her neck, one shallow one gaping. It looked as though she'd dragged herself from the door to her bed while dying. Deep gashes on her breasts still pumping blood out of her smearing my fingers while I touched her. I kept on sobbing and swayed back and forth while putting my arms around me, to comfort myself. "That....can't....be...true..., that...can't....be....true...need....to....call....police." I sat there for I don't know how long, starring at my friend, her blood all over me until somebody came from behind and started yelling "Police, hands up where I can see them and turn around slowly!" I couldn't think, my mind was blank and empty, but I turned my head to face the police officer before my vision blackened and darkness claimed me.

When I woke up it was light outside and I was lying in my own bed the curtains drawn back from the windows. I sat up to check the time, my blanket slid over my lap, it was after 11am. I sighed in relief, holding my head in my hands "Oh my gosh, that was the worst dream I've ever had", but then I looked down and recognized my bloodied clothes and started screaming. My room-door opened and Micheal my mothers best friend who happened to be the sheriff of Phoenix came in "What is it? Are you alright?" I stopped screaming and began crying instead, I run to Michael and put my arms around him. He held me for minutes while I wept until my body was drained out before I could speak again. "So....so...it's....true then, it wasn't a nightmare after all? she's really dead isn't she?" Michael brushed my hair back from my face and looked me in the eyes. "Sweety I'm so sorry but I can't give you the answer you wish to hear, yes she is dead. One of the neighbors called 911, she told them that somebody walked around Vanessas house and went inside. So I was send over to check what's going on, I called out but I didn't get in answer and then I walked through the house until I heard someone crying, so I went upstairs and found you sitting on the floor, well I didn't recognize you right away with your hair and costume, so I yelled at you, but you didn't react at all, I had to come closer until you turned at least your head around and then fainted. I brought you home and put you to bed. Can you tell me what happened?"

I started trembling and shaking and slid out of Michaels arms and sat on the floor. My voice a mere whisper. "I....I..." Pictures of Vanessas body ran through my head before I started telling him everything what happened. When I finished I was ready to weep again but I hold myself together. Michael kissed my cheek and said " Alright, thanks Bella, usually I have to record everything, but I know it's hard and I give you some time before we do this interview again officially, would you like to talk to someone other than your mom? A psychologist maybe. It was an not everyday experience and I'm so very sorry that you have to live through this." He scratched his head and went back to the door, but turned around one last time. "Go and call you mom, I know she is on vacation but you need her now, I would rather stay here, but I have to go back to the office." I nodded and watched him go downstairs. Then I heard the engine start outside I walked to the bathroom. I took my clothes off and winced once at my own reflection in the mirror, my eyes were red and swollen and my skin resembled the death , I stepped into the shower and turned the water on hot, I stayed right under the spray and let my body steam under the hot water. It was hard to get all the dried blood out of my hair but after 1 hour and several shampooings later it was as good as always. When I got out I dried up and put my rope on, brushed my teeth and comped my hair. _What am I suppose to do now? I don't wanna call my mom, it's unfair, but what am I gonna do if she calls? I can't lie and then she's definitely coming home and then? I don't know, fuck! Everything is a mess! _

I rubbed my eyes and looked around my room as if it's the first time I saw it. Then my eyes stopped on my bed and I saw the red-stained sheets, obvious my clothes must've smudged it. I dragged myself over and more than ripped the linen off my bed. _This is all a bad, bad dream _I started yelling and screaming at no one but myself "damn it all to hell, why her, what did she do?" Still holding the sheets in my hand I ran down to the kitchen and threw them in the garbage, breathing heavily with a headache starting to pound in my skull. _Fuck, as if I need that now? Where are the damn Aspirin? _I looked through the kitchen cabinets and found what I was looking for in one of the drawers, I took 4 immediately and went over to the sink getting some water to swallow the pills. Not knowing what to do next, I went back upstairs to get some decent clothes, I chose long navy blue jeans, black panties and black bra and a red T-Shirt. Then I checked the time it said 3pm already, I walked to my window and looked outside, the sun was still up high, it seemed there was no wind at all, the clouds drew a picture of sheep in the light-blue sky, the mountains cast deep shadows and our neighborhood was quiet as always, everything appears to be the same, as if nothing has changed. _Well but everything did, in just one night, I lost my best friend in the cruelest way imagine. _

All of a sudden I felt dizzy and had to hold on to the curtains, I took deep, slow breaths _in an out....in and out, what the hell is going on I feel like I'm drunk or something _thenmy visions blurred and I heard the curtains rip from the rod as I fell unconscious to the floor.


	3. Chapter 3: Tragic End

Chapter 3Bella's PoV

Someone seemed to be touching me and it was cold. With slowness I opened my eyes, blinking at the red lamp nearby. My hands were above me, my wrist in chains they ached and the pain in my head left me moaning.

" Well there's my little girl, finally waking up from her deep sleep and making the voices I love to hear." I shuddered at the sight of the man in front of me, it was Phil. _Oh no I knew something was wrong, where is my mom, I hope she is alright , _I felt more than angry and wanted to throw something"You bastard, where is my mom? I swear to god if something happened to her I gonna kill you." I tried to move but I couldn't really do more than swing back and forth, my feet just reached the floor by inches, so that I was forced to stay more on my toes than on my feet. Phil started to laugh so loud my ears rang, holding my chin with his hand and I felt the cold shower again I had the first time he touched me "Oh darling you're even more dazzling than you angry, but let me make something very clear to you, you can never kill me and if your mom is still alive that's up to you." He drew back and watched me thoroughly, his eyes seemed black again but this time I was sure of it, even with the dim red light, I could see, his eyes were plain dark around his pupils. "Who are you? What are you? I've never seen eyes like yours before?" He nodded deliberately with a smirk on his face and said " Well, well, our sleeping-beauty is not just beautiful, but smart and very observant, aren't we?" I gasped as his hands slipped under my shirt. " Don't you dare touching me, zombie!" I screamed at him, Phil pulled his hands back and slapped me right in my face. Tears came to my eyes and the pounding in my head got almost unbearable.

" Oh darling you really won't insult me now, I'm kind of hungry even with my snack yesterday night and I tell you something else, I actually planned to come back next Friday for you but when I picked up your mom, we drove by a nice house and I think the person who lived there was called Vanessa and I just couldn't resist to come back much earlier than planned." That left me panting and fear crawled it's way up my spine, my eyes widened, my voice shaking "You, you, you killed her, you sliced her, you left her bleeding to death, you are a monster!" I started crying as the pictures of my friends naked body ran threw my head again. "What do you want? What did she do? What do want from my mom and where is she and what do you want me for?"

Phil shook his head with an amused grin on his face, his eyes literally bored into mine. "Ok darling I have to say you're good, but you left the most important part out.....I didn't just sliced, and left her bleeding, I fucked her and while I thrusted into her over and over and over again I drunk from her neck and I have to say she is better off dead, this girl had so many drugs in her system that she spoiled even my appetite, I know the end-product was a kind of a mess but hey I'm not responsible than people think they need to mess with their bodies."

I tried to kick out, just one fucking kick for his cruelty, but I swayed to much and my weight pulled me down and left my wrists bleeding even more. I could feel the blood dripping slowly down my arms and sweat dripped from my forehead into my eyes. My head dropped forward and breathing got harder and I was sure I could hear my heart pounding in my chest.

_I can't anymore, I'm getting tired, I feel weak and everything hurts, I need to find my mom and get out of here_

"Please, please." it was a mere rasping but I tried again, hoping he can understand me though "please, I do everything you want but let me see if my mom is alright, you can have me but let my mom go, please?"

I could hear his amused snort while he walking away, the footsteps fainted, I looked around to find out where I was, but through the red light I couldn't see pass the lamp, but I must be in a cave or something like that, I've heard dripping water in the background, the walls where out of stone, I tried to turn around as much as possible with my hands in chains and was glad to see that one wall was right behind me _great at least nobody can jump up or out from behind_ , I heard footsteps again, coming closer where I was, there was a rustling, but I couldn't see anything and then I heard my moms voice " Bella, are you alright, I'm so really really sorry.... Phil why are you doing this. What happened to the man I've met weeks ago?"

With that he started laughing again holding his stomach as if this was one of the best jokes ever. "Always the same annoying questions, but ok since you are so pretty and I'm really gonna regret when you're dead, I may at least answer. So! Why am I doing this?- well first of all , because it's fun and I like the game, luring nice women with my charming personality I would say into an sooner or later ending story. I love the passion, their trust and of course the sex and then I have all that it's arousing to see the fear in their eyes and the shock which comes immediately then I show them who I really am. I know some of us just get it over with, they looking for their prey, go hunting and that's it, but where is the fun? See... if you live as long as I do and trust me 200 years is a very long time, you get bored so very easily that you need to find something more... lets say exciting. And second....well I guess there is no second." He snorted and came back to me. I still had to process the things he just said. "What do you mean you live since 200 years? That's impossible?" I looked at him again and then his smile widened and I could see his.... fangs? _What the hell? _"Darling you really should believe in myths... vampires really does exists." My eyes widened again and I tried to say something but I couldn't think of something appropriate in that moment. But my mom did " I don't care what you are you fucking asshole, but I swear if you touch my daughter once I try to hunt you and kill you myself in every possible way I can think of!" Phil narrowed his eyes and I could see that he got angry, he turned around and kicked my mom or so I thought, I've heard a thud and my mom made a desperate gasp and her breath shortened.

"Well bitch, you just won a one-way ticket to hell, but first I give you a free privat entertainment of... well you'll see." With that I heard one more slap and in a flash he was back right in front of me. His smile scaring the hell out of me and left me trembling again, I bit my tongue but couldn't help the tears which gathered in the corners of my eyes as his hands slipped under my shirt, poking, probing and pinching. He yanked my clothes off and ripped my panties and bra. "Mmm you're so beautiful" He inhaled my scent and pushed me into the wall behind me which scratched my skin while his fingers rammed inside me, his other hand coming down hard over my mouth as I drew in breath to scream. I couldn't help it. "Be quiet" Phil said, his breath was coming in short gasps as his mouth was at the pounding pulse in my neck "darling you smell so good like jasmine and orange" I froze even more and could feel his sharp graze of teeth. _Oh god this is a nightmare, please just kill me, it hurts to much, I can't feel my fingers anymore they getting numb. _Then he drew his fingers out, licking them while looking at me, his gaze fell on my blood running down my arms, he came closer and used his tongue to lick it off. I shuttered, closes my eyes and turned my head in the other direction . I heard clothes falling to the floor before he squeezed my breasts with his hands so hard that he send a new wave of pain through me, he groaned and slid his fingers down my body, parted my legs and held them still while digging his nails in my thighs drawing blood and drove himself into me, I was dry, his size was enormous and I felt as if everything inside me teared apart. He was rough and careless, my wrists still in chains moved with every motion he took and bled some more. I tried to scream but my throat burned and I couldn't do more than trying to breath, which got harder every second during this torture. He moaned and gasp and moaned some more "You... are... so... tight." I heard my mom screaming from somewhere "Noooo, you monster, she is just 16, stop it, stop it!" she kept on crying and yelling but he didn't stop, NO, more quite the opposite, he send me bruising while he rammed himself, over and over and over again into me and pushed my back harder against the wall, so that I could feel the warmth of my blood even there. The pain, and screams of my mother felt like hours and after awhile my body felt just numb until Phil shuddered and I somehow knew this was the final end of the excruciating torture he gave me. He drew out and walked away, left me hanging as I was and at that very moment I knew he destroyed not just my virginity, but my soul and everything what once had been Isabella Maria Swan. I felt pain, anger, hatred, rage and blood vengeance to all vampires who exists and I swore at that very moment, that if I make it out of here alive, that I gonna hunt those things down and destroy them peace by peace.

From the distance I could hear whimpers and chain rustling coming closer. I saw Phil dragging my mom forward in my direction like a dog on a leash. He smiled at me and said " Darling you gave me the fuck of my life, for that I'll give you your life but take your moms." I starred at her without saying a thing and she just looked at me, her eyes shown thousand emotions at the same time...regret, fear, apologies, anger, compassion....and then he bit down on her neck, a last scream escaped my mom before there was just the sound of sucking and swallowing. _Mom I'm so sorry, I will always love you and hope you'll find peace wherever you go.... And I make you one last promise....I gonna hunt him and destroy all those things called vampires. _She grew limp and when Phil was finish he threw her in the corner like a sack of potatoes. My blood started boiling at the sight and I just waited in silence, ignoring the pain and the blood, I couldn't even cry while this vampire sucked the life out of my mom.

" Well darling, now I'm totally sedated and can tell you I haven't felt like this in years, thank you so much." Phil kissed me one last time on my mouth and I could taste the blood on his lips, then he opened the chains and I dropped face down to the floor, he really let me go without doing anything, he just said "Maybe one day we'll see each other again darling, I would love to, you should be more than grateful, you are the first person who made it out of here alive!" With that he left me and walked away... and I thought he was doomed but he just doesn't know that....yet. _Trust me vampire, one day you will rot in hell, of that I'm sure and my revenge is gonna be the sweetest thing you ever experienced _that was my last thought before I fell in a deep sleep.

I woke up to the sound of dripping water and something wet crawling it's way under my body. I opened my eyes and found myself in the same position I fell asleep who knows how many hours before, I lay in water and my own blood, my body seemed to be one big numb, weak and aching chunk. I tried to move but each motion send new pain through every muscle. I raised my head and saw light coming from somewhere but no visible entrance or exit. I didn't want to give up, I couldn't give up, I vowed to take revenge. And as my will to survive grew stronger I tried to crawl my way to the light, ignoring the pain. Somewhere on the left side I found my clothes or what was left of it, I pulled them to me.

My panties and bra were useless but my shirt and pans weren't. So I turned myself on my back, put my hands over my head, trying to ease the pain while the most of my weight still lays on the floor and put my shirt on. My arms tingled as if they were still asleep and don't wanna wake up while I put them through the each sleeve. I sighed at the thought of doing the same with my pans, but kept going. I had to sit up though, so I braced my hands on each side of my body and tried to push myself upwards, I screamed at the pressure on my wrists but didn't stop until I finally sat. I put on one leg at the time and took deep breaths as everything started to spin _Oh please, I need to get out, don't faint, don't faint, keep breathing Bella, keep breathing _I told myself over and over again until the spinning stopped. I sat there for another moment before I tried to get on my feet and again I had to use my arms but bit my lips this time. When I was standing I leaned against the wall and just breathed slowly and closed my eyes. Tears gathered in them and I couldn't hold back anymore. "Mom I'm so sorry, everything is my fault, I shouldn't have said to you to find somebody rather sooner than later" _Oh my God, it is my fault, she is....she is.....she is dead because of me, no, no, no....not just me, but because of that vampire too._

Rage built it's way up inside me and I thought. _Well I figure something out to kill you, there are a lot of books which go way back, much further than 200 years and I'm sure I'm not the only person on earth who knows about you. People where always curious about myths and fairy tails and some discovered your secrets... I just have to find them and then to find you!_

I opened my eyes and saw my mom lying dead right across from me. I walked over to her and looked down examining her body, she looked beautiful...even dead. I didn't think about my next action just acted as I pulled her jacket off and put it on, ignoring the pain and grief I had with every move. I gave her a last kiss on the forehead and walked away to find the exit.

This place was like a tunnel with a lot aisles, it must've been a mine one day in the past, in some corridors you could still find some trails and wagons. That vampire kept us deep within and I knew it would be impossible for someone to find us. Nobody would be insane enough to go in here let alone the danger of collapse. These places are not the safest and not even an ordinary criminal, killer or whatever would go in here. But well since we don't talk about ordinary anymore, I guess that's a perfect place for a monster.

...I walked for hours following the light, my throat burned and I needed water, I was hungry and the aching got worse with the hours. I couldn't think anymore and was close to give up, but then as if somebody heard me and had mercy there was the exit. Tears came running down my face at the sight of trees and bushes and grass. _I can't believe it, I made it, thank God_

I looked around to find some clue where I might be, but it seemed unknown to me. I walked some more...maybe a mile, before I sat down under one of the birches, my back against it's trunk, my arms falling to the ground digging in dirt, just to have the feeling of life in my hands. Then I closed my eyes and fell asleep again, just so that my dreams could haunt me.


	4. Chapter 4: Goodbye

Chapter 4Bellas PoV

_It stank of blood and metal and salt. I was in a house with it's lights on, a man standing right in front of me with his back in my direction, he was laughing and pointing to a white wooden door. "Common darling open the door, I have a surprise for you on the other side" I kept walking and passed the man, I turned my head and saw Phil with black eyes and a big grin on his face just looking at me. I turned again and moved forward, I turned the knob and open the door. As if in anticipation I looked to the floor and moved slowly over to the bed, but there was nothing, I looked up on the bed and also nothing, I turned around and Phil was right behind me, throwing me on foresaid bed, ripping at my clothes. I started pushing and kicking at him and screamed for help. I heard laughter from the distance and saw my mom and Vanessa staying right in the doorway. I screamed for help again but they just stand there, still, unmoving and laughing. I pushed some more at Phil while he touched me but I wasn't strong enough "Darling don't even try, you know I'm stronger than you" and then he bit down on my neck and I screamed._

I was still screaming when I woke up until I realized where I was. I sat still against the tree panting, sweat dropping from my forehead, I rubbed my face _Shit, shit, shit_ was all I could think of. When I was calmer I realized it was dark and it got cold outside. I shivered and put my arms around me to keep me warm which didn't work at all. The wind played in the woods and in each corner there were different sounds, some came from bushes, some from owls, some were from leafs above my head. I comforted myself and drew my knees up, pressed my forehead against them. I swayed back and forth while humming some songs I heard a long time ago.

After 10 minutes I couldn't stand it anymore, I changed my position and put my hands in the pockets of my moms jacket and started laughing "I can't believe it, how stupid is that" I shook my head and took the cellphone out of the jacket _Yep it's my moms _I dialed Michaels number and just hoped he's available. The phone rang several times before he picked up, I ask him to trace the signal to pick me up and that I'll explain everything later, then I hung up and waited. _What am I suppose to tell him, definitely not the truth, I mean he's gonna put me away when I tell him a vampire killed my mom and raped me and after that he just let me go...Shit...Fuck...That sucks...I just have to tell him that Phil was an arrogant bastard and got crazy or something._

1 hour later I was sitting in Michaels car, heater on full blast and a blanket around my shoulders. I cried and tried to tell him what happened, but all he said is "Not yet, Bella you look like a mess and you're hurting, first I bring you to a hospital and then I bring you home and tomorrow we can talk, I'm just glad I found you, even if I'm curious what you did in the middle of nowhere not just that but also deep within the forest and what happened to you? it just has to wait right now" I looked at him, totally stunned by his reaction but glad and leaned my head against the window, but not sleeping, just resting my eyes.

After another 2 hours in the hospital, the doctor released me. My wounds were bandaged, my wrists needed some stitches, I've gotten a blood transfusion and they gave me enough Morphine for the next upcoming hours. Michael was waiting all the time and I couldn't be more thankful. He drove me home carried me to my bed...no my moms bed, since my bed still hadn't any sheets on it and tucked me in until I fell asleep.

The smell of pancakes, eggs and bacon woke me up. I checked the time... it was 1pm, I went to the bathroom and took a quick shower, then brushed my teeth and put new undies, jeans and a black sweater on. I brushed my hairs on the way downstairs, not bothering with drying them.

I found Michael at the stove just putting the eggs he obviously just made from the pan on a plate. The table was set with orange juice, tea, bacon, pancakes, syrup and lots of fruits and yoghurt. I smiled at the sight and could feel tears in my eyes, Michael turned around and greeted me "Hey Bella, how are you feeling? I made everything you like for breakfast so just sit down and eat and then we can talk." I nodded but didn't say anything, just sat down and started eating. After I was stuffed and couldn't fit more food in my stomach I sat back looking at my bandages for the first time. Michael must've noticed that "Bella, can you tell me what happened?" I swallowed _wow now that should be interesting, lets see, what can I tell you about it? _I started talking, I told him almost everything from me feeling dizzy and blacking out to waking up in that cave finding my mom there as well and Phil. I told him he raped me in front of my mom.... there was no reason not to tell him, Michael knew already from the doctors about my diagnostics....I told him the stuff Phil said about why he is killing women except for his age and that he was a vampire. I told him that he killed my mom but I couldn't see any of it just heard and that he let me go for whatever reason he had and that I found my mom dead on the floor and I put her jacket on and tried to find the exit until I found the cellphone.

Michael didn't say a word through the whole story, he just listened and looked at me. He was quiet and that made me nervous, I looked down on my bandages again an thought. _Oh gosh he thinks I'm crazy, even without telling him about the vampire stuff. _Michael took a deep breath before he talked again "Bella I'm so very sorry, I can't even imagine how it must've been for you and that you lost your mom like that and then after all what happened you still found the strength to get out of there." he shook his head and continued "I don't know what to say, you lost your best friend and your mom within 2 days, it's horrible and I just have to say it again, I'm so very sorry.... but I gonna tell you this, even if it's confidential.... we heard from other states about women who went missing and were or were not found. All of them were mutilated and killed and I think I should've acted faster or realized it earlier right after Vanessa that this particular killer reached Phoenix." I held my breath and just starred at Michael. S_o this vampire really made a mess in the US, I need to find him . _"Oh my God that's awful, I don't know but I guess I can be lucky to be alive" A headache started to pound against my skull, I got up and went to the drawer were I found the Aspirin which left me pass out before the Phil attack. I took them out and gave them to Michael and opened a new bottle for me. "Those are the pills I swallowed that day when I felt dizzy and woke up in...in..." Michael stopped me "I know what you wanna say, thank you Bella, I guess you're going to stay with your dad now?" I starred at him with wide eyes totally shocked about what he just said "I...I...Oh my gosh, I think he doesn't even know, I haven't talked to him in days and I don't think my mom did either, what am I gonna do?" Michael rubbed his head and sighed "Well if that's the case I need to call him and tell him everything. And until we know what we gonna do, you stay with me and my family." The only thought which came to my head was _No, I'm sorry but I have to leave here alone and I'll never come back _but I said " Oh thanks that's great, I just like to stay here a little longer and pack my stuff and.... well I just like to have some privat time if that's ok?" He nodded in understanding "Of course Bella, I know it's hard, I just leave you alone and will be back in 2 hours to pick you up." I thanked him and walked him to the door and said goodbye. I ran back upstairs to pack my backpack, I also took the bank cards my mom owned and all the cash I could find and for the first time in my life I was glad to have a fake ID, Vanessa insisted on me having one, I told her I'll never gonna use it and it was kind of true up until now. I put my backpack on an took one last glance around the house, then I wrote Michael a last letter before I disappeared:

_Dear Michael,_

_Thank you very much for everything you've done and I'm sorry that I'm gonna disappear like this, but I have to leave. I can't tell you why and I can't tell what I'm gonna do or where I go, but I promise you that I call you once a month from wherever I might be. Please don't try to find me, if you do, it makes it harder and I have to hide even more. Then the time comes I'll explain everything to you, but right now I need to find my own way. _

_I tell you right away that I got my moms credit and debit cards, there is enough money for me to survive for at least 2 years, so please don't do anything about it. _

_I don't know what else to say, but SORRY_

_PS. Please tell my dad, I'm not going to call him, I couldn't handle it to see him break apart_

_Love Bella_

I reread my letter and sighed before I put it in the kitchen. _I hope this was a good idea. _I shook my head, trying not to think about if my decision was right or not, then I put my boots on and closed the door. I checked my watch which said 3pm, took my car-keys and went to my car. _I need to get grid of my car or at least my license plates as fast as possible. _I drove away but checked occasionally in the rear-view mirror if someone followed me. When I was sure I've been alone I took the highway down south not really knowing where to go and thought. _Let the journey begin._


	5. Chapter 5: New Experiences

Chapter 5Bella's PoV

**1 year and almost 2 months later....**

**Rome Italy December 15th 2007**

I lay with my back on the couch, arms crossed under my head, trying to fall asleep, just starring at the ceiling and thought about my last year.

_Phew...The last months have been hard and I almost got fucking caught by the police with my fake ID. I mean I can understand that I don't look like 21 and that some people get suspicious, with me, sleeping in hotels or motels all the time on my own. _

_God, I even remember the day I left Phoenix what seems like eternity by now. I drove all the way to Texas not knowing what to do, just daydreamed while I drove. On the way I found this totally shabby suppose to be car dealership where I exchanged my mustang for an old 89th Ford something. It broke my heart but I had no chance to keep it. When I finally arrived in Texas I booked a Motel room and went straight to the library in Austin. I grabbed all the books I could find about vampires and their history and myths and just sad on my bed for hours and read. _

_The books told different stories and assertions even rituals, some of them went way back to the Egypthians, I was amazed about how old the stories were and what people did and tried to find them. Of course there were never real evidence of the existence of true vampires. But still people speculated when they found bodies with two round wounds on their necks and totally drained._

_I stayed in one place for maybe 3 weeks then moved on to the next. I traveled from South to North, West to East and found mostly the same things. _

_I got miserable about my life from time to time but never stopped, I even kinda started to like this gypsy life and even more so when I started taking self-defense classes and fighting strategies. Oh I remember how bruised I've been for weeks, my body looked blue, red, green and yellow like an almost rainbow, some of the teachers thought I should stop before I break my bones, but I insisted to continue. _

_I kept my promise and called Michael each month and still do, of course he tried to figure out what I'm doing and where I was, but I told him if he doesn't stop I hang up which stopped him immediately. Sometimes we talked for hours, I lied about going to some evening school taking classes to continue with my studies while I need time to regenerate and travel around. He thought I'm getting crazy after all what happened and that I've changed, well he was right with the last part I guess, but still he never showed to be annoyed, he liked our conversations and he told me about my dad, that he would love to talk to me himself and he wants me to come back home to Forks. I grieved a lot about it, but never gave up on my mission. _

_After months I was sure of how to recognize vampires, most sagas told the same story, about how they look like and it had to be true, I mean I've met one once in my life and he confirmed the theory of pale ice-cold skin, black eyes while they are hungry or in rage or in lust, flawless features and just plain beautiful and luring. The stories said, that vampires have unnatural speed, strength and hearing, which makes them to such magnificent hunters. I also knew at least 10 different ways of trying to kill a vampire, like wood-sticks and silver knifes or sticks through the heart, beheading, cut to peaces and burn them or with a bullet in the head. _

_After all that I tried to figure out where vampires might go, I still wasn't sure how often they feed or if they could go out in sunlight or not, though Phil must've otherwise I have no idea how he left the cave. I started to take a wooden-stick and silver-knife which were fastened on my hips with me while I went out at night to bars or clubs or other facilities to find them, after hours surveying the areas, I chose the dark alleys as my way back just out of curiosity if some of those creatures might be there and sucking on some poor human. Unfortunately I never found or heard or saw any vampires until I went to New York City on October 20th 2008. I actually just tried to take a small brake from all that seemed-to-be-a-never-ending-hunt and thought I relax a bit. I took a shower, made my make-up which looked stunning by the way , braided my hair in one tail hanging down my back and put my new favorite clothes on – black lacy undies, tight black leather pans, a red shirt and my beloved black leather coat to hide the stick and the knife and with my high-heels I looked dangerous but charming. _

_Then I went to many different bars, just sitting on the bench and enjoyed my drinks, unfortunately it felt not a bit different from all the other times I've been in a bar to seek the monsters, so I decided to go. Just after midnight, I had enough and walked back to my hotel, out of habit I took an alley and kind of dragged myself through it. I asked myself how did I end up like this, leaving what was left of my family behind, traveling through almost every state and hunting vampires down...No wait...trying to hunt vampires down, it was just crazy actually. I shook my head and kept walking until I heard a sound from the distance. It sounded like...sucking? I was on alert immediately, knowing what this sound could be and run forward holding each weapon in one hand. When I came closer the sound got louder and I could hear gasps. In a flash somebody was standing right in front of me starring, he said "well, well, well what got we here? A nice little girl who got lost?" I knew right away this was a vampire, he was pale, even in the darkness and the way he came out of nowhere told me, that he moved with unnatural speed. I just smirked at him, thought I was finally a step closer being not a little bit afraid but pretended to be scared before I said "Well yeah I kinda got lost here, maybe you could show me the way out?" He started laughing and it reminded me of Phil before he touched me. I got angry and couldn't help the tears while I lunged forward and stabbed him with both my weapons through the heart. The vampires eyes widened and I saw his shocked expression as he looked down at the sticks. I got nervous, because I still didn't know if this was a way to kill a vampire and it seemed minutes before he fell to the ground not moving. I shivered at the sight on the floor and what I just did without giving it more thought. I kneeled down and pulled my stick and the knife out of his chest, blood running out of his clutching wound and all over my hands. I kept looking at him, waiting for something to happen, like maybe he's gonna disappear or turn to dust, but nothing like that did, he just lay there. I got up and tried to find the person he was obviously drinking from. After 20 feet or so, I found a woman lying on the floor, blood still running out of her throat, I felt her pulse just to find non. I sighed and started walking, I couldn't risk to be found and needed to get out of there. _

_From the distance I heard footsteps behind me, I didn't turn around just kept on walking to give my pursuer the impression I didn't realize him. I was afraid that there might me more than one and that they are vampires as well. My breath quickened when I reached the corner and ran to the right, hid behind the nearest garbage, clenched my weapons against my chest so hard that my knuckles were white. I waited and knew if it's a vampire, he knows exactly where I am. The footsteps came closer and I had to make a decision...fast. I sprang out screaming both sticks drawn and froze as somebody jumped me from behind and lost my breath for seconds as he thew me to the floor, holding both my arms, pressing me facedown into the concrete, one knee bored in my back. I was immobilized and no trick I've learned in the past few months could have helped me in that position. I saw my life running through my head in seconds and couldn't believe how stupid I was being caught like this. The person behind ask "Who are you?" I knew instantly it was a guy and was puzzled by his question and said in gasps "Why..would..that..be..important..to..you,..when..you..gonna..kill..me..anyway?" The man fell silence before he answered "I saw what you did to that vampire and thought you might be one of the Volturi and followed you." I blinked, trying to proceed what he said. "What is a Volturi and what do you know about vampires? And please could you let go of me now, it hurts what you're doing." He snorted "That was my plan, I mean that it hurts, but I see you're not one of them so get up!" This man let go off me and actually held his hand out to me, I took it and he pulled me up. I adjusted my coat and got my weapons from the floor and looked at him. He was tall, dark short spiky hair, dark eyes, tanned skin, I couldn't really see the colors since it was still dark and the streetlight wasn't enough to tell. But he was maybe in his 30s and had friendly features. I sighed in relief still perplexed about what just happened. "Ok, so how do you know about those bloodsuckers and why have you been in that alley?" I asked him finally. He considered me for a second "Well I guess we should talk somewhere, obviously there is a lot to tell and I think you should clean yourself, you're bloody." I looked down at my clothes and saw I was a little bit of a mess after I attacked and hopefully killed this vampire, then I nodded and walked with the stranger back to one of the bars close by. We took one of the tables in the far corner to remain undisturbed. _

_The stranger started to speak first and told me his name is Jason, he lost his family 7 years ago while on vacation in Italy. 2 Vampires broke into the house while his wife and daughter slept. _

_Jason sat in the kitchen, drank some water as he heard glass crashing from upstairs. He ran to where the sound came from, just to find his daughters bloodied dead body lying on the floor and two vampires at his wife, one raping while the other drank the life out of her. He tried to get the bloodsuckers off her, but they were to strong and threw Jason with just one push through the whole room, braking bones as he hit the wall. Jason tried to get up but couldn't and just screamed for help until he passed out. _

_I cried at his story, first because for his family and second it reminded me of my friend and my mom and hated the vampires even more if that was possible. Jason also told me he worked for the CIA in Washington D.C. before all that happened and quit his job after he could walk again. He was just 28 years old when he lost the loves of his life and started like me...learning all about vampires and trying to find them...the only difference, he was more successful than I've been, he killed a few and actually got some answers. _

_Jason moved to Italy 3 years ago after he got some answers from one of the vampires who belonged to the coven of the Vulturi._

_They are like this master coven of Vampires right here in Italy but in Volterra, who obvious enforce the law of the bloodsuckers since centuries. They are considered the most sophisticated and dangerous coven, as they are the largest and with the most influence. Of course they capture humans and kill them while they making them to their meals. I've also learned that they seem to work as kind of guardians and trying to keep their existence secret from the human world. They even kill other vampires if they expose themselves or murder in blood-frenzy. Demetri, Aro and Caius are suppose to be the strongest and oldest of the whole coven who was also founded by Aro. _

_He told me, that vampires can be killed by stabbing them through the heart with silver which must be covered in wood or if you have a sharp weapon just decapitate them. My next question was of course if I killed the vampire in that alley, but he wasn't sure, since he never tried it that way. _

_When it was my turn to speak I wasn't sure whether to tell him my real name. I considered it for a moment but decided not to and told him I was Lilly Grace then started my story. He didn't say a word just watched me as his face changed from emotion to emotion, from sad to angry, compassion to revenge, understanding to disbelieve. _

_After what seemed hours, we left the bar and he actually ask me to come with him back to Italy. I was thankful and said yes._

_**I'm working on new Chapters already, so if you like it, please give me some reviews, so that I know you like it or not :-)**_


	6. Chapter 6: Friendship

I'd like to thank my first reviewer Truth I'minPain and hope he'll and others enjoy the rest of my upcoming chapters as well.

Chapter 6 **Bella's PoV**

I had to smile at the thought of the last one and a half months, how we became friends and somehow partners as I touched my fractured hip. He trained me even more and much harder than anyone before, well I guess you can say that all the other coaches were and acted reluctant. Which is actually a good think considered that I was at the very beginning at some point and still got beaten up pretty bad. So I think if the training would've been as hard as this, wow I guess I really would've been send to the hospital quiet often. I told Jason I was fine after training, just needed some time and sleep, I even made it out of the training room in normal strides, no limping, falling, flinching or stumbling.

After 3 hours sitting on the couch I took a shower and dried off then looked in the mirror for the first time after the 'workout'. I winced at the sight of my lips, they were swollen and split at some point, my left cheek turned already blue and red and made my face look even worse. I had several bruises in many different colors all over my body not to mention the fractured hip and cuts from the silver-wooden-sticks we used. One cut reached from my right eye to to my ear. Yeah you could say I looked pretty damn bad.

But if he would be gentle or something, that doesn't work at all, vampires are still stronger and faster even with the hard training or so I told myself. But anyways it hurts like hell and I needed a brake, Jason is like a machine, for him there seem to be no limitations, so I got dressed in a tang top and sweat-pans and sat back down on the couch.

Well as CIA Agent you have to be like that I guess, he never talks about it though and I kinda understand that it's hard, because it reminds him of his family when everything was still as it was suppose to be.

I don't try to think about my own most of the time either and so close to Christmas it's getting harder. Everybody is in a good mood and happily in Love, you can literally see the glitter in peoples eyes while they walk either as couples or with friends through the streets doing Christmas shopping.

Me on the other hand.... I'm not planning on Christmas shopping or having a nice dinner at my friends or families house...NO...I keep on learning all about the Vulturi, thanks to Jason and his vampire history. Ok I don't know how he got so many important information out of the vampires he killed or tortured, but I can't care less. Although I'm curious and die to know, since he never told me a thing about his hunts before we've met or the ones in the last few weeks where he went alone by the way. Sometimes Jason just comes back, telling me either it was waisted time, cause he didn't encounter any vampires or he is bloodied and brings new information.

The vampires here in Italy seem to enjoy the public at night, it's their way to find new victims. They mostly go to places like bars and nightclubs where people gather around, having fun drinking, talking and dancing. Some seek love, some sex, some just escape from home not to be alone, yet others trying to make a good deal with selling drugs and other things to the highest bidder so to say and among all those ignorant innocent partying humans, the vampires are at ease to catch some of them.

I would love to go with him everytime he's on a hunting trip but he doesn't let me go, he thinks I'm not quiet ready yet. And because I'm more than glad that I've met him and have a home, I keep quiet and wait until he thinks I'm good to go, so I just keep on training to improve my physical skills and learn all about our enemies.

So far we know that Aro is their leader and a mind-reader and just the thought of he reading my mind is creepy, gosh it would be more than awful actually for us to be compromised. Caius is the oldest one, he obviously looks like 70 or something but as dead as he is, there doesn't exist any rheumatism or other age relevant illnesses. He is not gifted like Aro or other vampires, but that doesn't make him any less dangerous. And Marcus...well, I still haven't figured out how that is important but he can read peoples relationships they have to each other.

And since we talking about the master coven of all the vampires, it's not like that Jason and I just walk in trying to kill as much of them as possible and walk out again...No...There will be hundreds of vampires and they not gonna just let us walk away alive, when food comes served on a plate. _Shit, shit, shit, why are we even think about it at all? _

A knock on the door let me stop thinking. "Hey Lilly are you in there?" I rolled my eyes, where should I go after I look like a truck hit me and everything hurts "Yes I'm in here you can come in." The door opened and Jason stepped in, he got a tray with food in his hands, putting it on my table next to my bed. He winced at he saw me.

I just stared at him in disbelieve, he never did that before.

"Are you alright? You look like...well...shit!" _Aha so he really felt guilty about it, I mean I'm gonna have bruises for weeks now. _"Hu..hmm lets just say I've had better days." he winced again and looked concerned, I just grinned at him and continued "but I also had much worse, so what've you got?"

He smiled and sat down next to me on the couch "Well I brought you something to eat as you can see, because I think I was a little hard on you today and thought I try to be nice instead of beating you up for instance." I chin dropped, he really apologized? _Wow I must look worse than I thought. _"Well thank you, that's very nice of you?" _Or is there something else? I mean I know him for like almost 2 now and we spent really, literally every second together when we weren't sleeping. _

I looked at the food and back to Jason with a smile on my face, then went over to the table got the tray and sat back down on the couch and started eating. _Well I call that food, wow that's yum yum. _Jason watched me for a while, I could see from the corners of my eyes that he was thinking about something but didn't say anything, just kept on eating and waiting for him to talk. He scratched his head and just said "Why do you lie to me?"

I almost choked on my bread I just bit in and glared at him. _Shit he knows my real __identity...fuck...why didn't I tell him right away who I was? _"What did you say?" pretending being dump, which I'm not and he knows it too.

"I said, why do you lie to me Lilly?" _Ok so now I'm confused, he still calls me Lilly, which means he still doesn't know....or he said it deliberately to see my reaction to figure out weather I'm Lilly or not...which means my next respond has to be good, considering what he saw_ _as he asked. Or I just... phew....that's hard...ok so lets see._ "Ok so I've heard you right, what am I exactly lying about?

He sighed and dropped his head. "You told me that you're fine and even made it out of the gym without limping and stuff, I know you're a stubborn and proud person, but still....look at you...have you seen your face at all? It's like....well I don't know... I can't believe I did that...I'm sorry... I can see you're hurt."

_Oh my god, thanks a lot, I already thought the worst, phew again. _"Ok, so I'm not totally fine and yeah the training was a little harder than normal and I obviously look pretty bad, but... we need to do that, vampires are still stronger than we ever will be and so we...No...I have to practice and train as much and as hard as I can, to become as strong as I can get."

Jason put the tray aside and held me in his arms, unfortunately I couldn't pretend that it didn't hurt and winced as a embraced me. He pulled back holding my arms with his hands around them looking down at me shaking his head "See, that's exactly what I mean, it was to hard and I'm sorry and before you say anything" he put his indexfinger on my mouth as I started to protest "as I said before you're stubborn and many other thinks... for instance, smart, independent, determined, brave, selfless and very beautiful. And I can see that what you're saying is right and I even agree with you at some point, but still, I don't have to like to beat you up like this and think you should have a normal life outside of all this, therefore I decided to take a small brake, I want you to recover and try to enjoy the holidays a little, I know you spent last year alone in some motel in Maine and I hadn't had a Christmas the last few years either, so I planned on going with you to a hotel, using the spa, the pools, everything they offer, relax and think about something else than hunting vampires.... and after that which means 3 weeks we come back and we go hunting together."

He smiled at me. I didn't know when I started to cry and I didn't care at that very moment, I was just glad to have Jason at my side and had a shoulder to cry on and felt for the first time happy again. I leaned my head on his lap and weeped until I fell asleep.

**Jasons -PoV**

I stroked Lilly's hair while she wept, being close to tears myself. _Our lives changed in a way others will never believe is possible. Her life even earlier than mine, way to early. I mean common with 16 years old, where is the justice in finding the best friend dead one day than being raped and seeing how the mother get killed the other? It was already hard to hear it the first time when she told me and I thought she's 21. Of course I checked her data...thanks to friends and the CIA...it's always good to keep some __old habits. I mean I couldn't really believe or wouldn't really believe any of this when we first met, even when I knew already about vampires, but I couldn't imagine that a young girl goes to such dimensions. But why is she still lying to me? I know I was way to harsh during training today and knew she could've never won, but I thought maybe she would give up and brake down and finally tell me the truth about her. But of course Bella didn't . _I shook my head at the thought and smiled. _No not you, huh? You totally incredible stubborn person? _

_I knew she thought about it when I ask her why she is lying, I could see it in her face. Is she scared? Or does she think I would hate her or let her go? Or doesn't she trust me? Hm...I just have to wait until she's telling me the truth._

I kept on stroking her hair until her crying stopped and she finally drifted off, hoping she will have a dreamless sleep, I knew nightmares haunted her almost everyday. When I checked the time it said 11:32pm, I leaned my head against the armrest and closed my eyes trying to get some sleep myself.

**3 weeks later.... January 06th 2008**

Bella's PoV

"I can't believe that 3 weeks are over already and we're back, I can't thank you enough for all you did."

I embraced Jason, held him tight, he put his arms around me and we were standing like this for minutes before I let go. He's like my big brother I never had and can't find the right words how to tell him, how lucky I am. He looked down at me brushed some strains behind my ears "Lilly you don't need to thank me for anything, I'm happy that I'm not alone anymore in this situation and should thank you for coming into my life." I just nodded knowing he understands me perfectly. As I grabbed my luggage from the floor to put it upstairs in my room he held arm and said

"So since we're done with the sentimental stuff now, we can continue your training. Go get dressed and come back I'll meet you in the training center, after all I keep my word and like to take you with me in one or two weeks. So lets see how much you forgot already after being pampered for weeks!" He grinned at me while I pouted._ Oh geez....here we are again...my slave-driver is back...yay....and here I thought the fabulous vacation changed him into something more soft. _I shook my head and told him I'll be right back, after I put my clothes away.

30 minutes later I was all done and went downstairs to the training-room. Jason was standing right in the middle with a 20 inch knife in his hands waiting for me. Of course he couldn't suppress his comment and said "Ah...I thought I need to send a searchparty after you, but I see you were was slow." I gritted my teeth, I hated it when he teased me like this, but didn't say anything back to him, just went over nodded and said "So let the party start."

We moved at the same time. He spun, kicked out with his left leg, I ducked and grabbed it, turned it around but he was faster and pulled his right knee up, collided with my elbow and send shooting pain through my left arm. I ignored it and rammed my fist into the side of his chest, he gasped for air as he fell to the floor. I held my injured arm for a second as he came at me again his knife drawn aiming for my chest. I sidestepped and tried to block his blow but wasn't fast enough, he cut into my right upper arm, drew blood as I yelled out. It wasn't over yet, I swore and charged again, kept myself low and kicked Jason's legs out under him, he lost his balance for a second and the knife jumped out of his grip before he stopped his fall with his hands on the floor, jumping up again trying to punch me, but I blocked this time and slammed my fist into his jaw, snapping his head back and blood spattered out of his mouth, then rolling myself over to the knife and picked it up. I breathed heavily and sweat broke out on my forehead, but felt totally satisfied. But Jason came running at me again, throwing me to the ground with his sudden blow and knocked the breath out of me while I hit my head on the floor. My vision blurred and I swore I saw stars for a few moments. I felt dizzy and couldn't move just stared at the ceiling before I noticed Jason standing right above me, trying to talk to me. "Hey Lilly, are you alright? Just lay still for a moment I get you some water." I mumbled, trying to say I wait right here, but couldn't get any words out, just felt the throbbing and spinning in my head and my breathing got harder. After a few seconds I felt that somebody picked me up and carried me until I felt something soft under me and something cold on my forehead. I closed my eyes and fell into unconsciousness.

Jason's PoV

At the last blow from Lilly I felt a bad headache coming and blood in my mouth. Oh she was good, very fast and I think she was the first human person who came that far, I mean leaving me bloody. I was impressed and just couldn't help to run for it and throw her to the ground. I didn't plan on being so hard and careless but it happened and when I heard a crack and saw blood on the back of her head I froze and got off her as fast as I could. Her eyes rolled back for a second before I saw them glazed and her face chalk-white. I tried to talk to her, but she didn't react at all, just starring. I told her I get some water and ran to get my phone calling an ambulance. I ran back to Lilly and carried her in her room laying her on the bed and put a cold cloth on her forehead. _Oh God I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, the ambulance will be here soon and I hope I didn't inflict some serious injuries. Please, please, please, God let her be alright. _I rocked back and forth on the chair next to Lilly's bed until I heard the ambulance coming. I ran downstairs to open the door for them and then back upstairs. I told them what happened and didn't move as they treated her. They carried Lilly out to the ambulance car on a gurney and brought her to the nearest hospital. _Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Nooooo _I took my own car and drove to the hospital myself.

After what seemed hours in the waiting area and I don't know how many bad coffees, the doctor came to me and told me that Lilly got a "linear skull fracture and some laceration" she will have a headache for a while and feel nauseated. She shouldn't move around much and no training for the next 4 weeks, but other than that she can leave the hospital tomorrow. I sighed in relief and cursed myself for being so careless and cruel. I thanked the doctor and went to see Lilly.

I opened the door to her room quiet and closed it behind me. I swallowed and felt tears building in my eyes at the sight of her. She was laying in the all to white bed, the blanket pulled up to her chin, her hands looking out under the sheets and a gauze around her injured head, her eyes closed. She looked almost dead and I shivered at the thought, I watched her chest moving up and down for a few minutes before I could move forward and sit down on a chair right next to her. I took her hand in mine and talked to her, not knowing if she'll understand me. "Hey Bella, it's me Jason, I'm so very sorry what I did to you today, I could've killed you, I don't know how to make it up for you but I promise to take good care of you and will never ever hurt you again. You're like my sister...NO...more like my daughter and I couldn't handle to loose you as well. I know your real identity and hope you can ever trust me again." After that I couldn't hold the tears back anymore and cried not just for her, but for my family and everything else what happened in the past years.

**Next day.... January 7th 2008**

Bella's PoV

I woke up to find myself in a totally strange bed in a totally strange room, a needle in my arm, Jason at my side holding my hand and sleeping and I had a headache pounding in my skull.

I remembered that Jason attacked me during training and then everything went blank. The next thing I know is Jason talking to me and using my real name. _Does he know? Or was it part of my dream? God my head feel like it's gonna explode. _I put my palm against my temple pressing against it to ease the pain and as I moved Jason woke up and looked at me and said "Bella you're finally awake, I'm so happy to see your eyes again, God I'm so sorry for what I did."

I swallowed hard and felt my blood freeze. _He knows...Gosh that's bad...and the worst part is - he's apologizing for hurting me during training and I don't get a word out to say I'm sorry myself. _I kept on staring at him, trying to find the right words to say, but he was faster.

"Bella are you alright, can you speak, can you even hear me?" _Ouch...that hurts even more...I need to say something to him. _I dropped my chin on my chest and said "I'm sorry".

Jason looked puzzled at my short respond, shaking his head "Huh? For what are you sorry for?" I kept my head down, not wanting to see his face while I tried to explain why I lied

"Oh Jason, I have to be sorry, I mean you obviously know my real name and I never told you, kept lying to you about it" my tears came running now, couldn't and wouldn't stop them "when I first met you, I wasn't sure if I can trust you, it was already a big step to go with you and it could've been my end if you were someone else. But you were nice and I started to trust you and everytime when I thought about to tell you my name is Isabella Maria Swan, I hesitated and decided otherwise, I thought you might kick me out or hate me or I don't know, I'd understand either reaction and hope you can ever forgive me."

I looked up at him, my face swollen from all the tears, my breathing a mere puff. Jason took my face in both hands, smiling at me which left me frown before he said

"Isabella Maria Swan, I don't know where you got the idea of me kicking you out or even hating you from, but let me tell you this, I knew your real identity right from the beginning and thought you protect yourself with not telling me, which was fine with me. Ok I had my days where I thought why you didn't tell me, but I never asked and would've never. You're the most important person in my life right now, I've got nobody else and wouldn't let you go no matter what. So Bella, stop talking nonsense and tell me how are you feeling?!"

He brushed my still running tears with his thump from my cheeks and kept on smiling. I couldn't believe it and felt even more sorry that I lied, but my heart made a big flip in my chest and I smiled back at him and said

"Thank you so much Jason, I feel fine." He started laughing "Ok so you have to stop that, telling me you're fine when you look like dead himself, let's try again, how are you feeling?" I grinned and shook my head "Alright, alright, I might feel a bit odd, I have a bad headache which feels like my head it's gonna explode and I'm hungry." He laughed, shaking his head and told me he's gonna get me something to eat and after that we can go back home which made me smile even more.

**So I hope you liked this chapter, I'm always happy about reviews, thanks for reading my story, more chapters coming soon :-)**


	7. Chapter 7: New Information

Chapter 7

**6 weeks later.... February 18th 2008**

Bella -PoV

When I woke up I felt excited, full of vigor and my tension faded away.

After what happened during my last training with Jason he felt so bad and was more than concerned about my healthiness that he canceled training for 6 weeks and said he's not taking any chances. He even told me he's not gonna continue the training if I don't go to my weekly follow up checks he ordered and the doctors give it black and white to me that I'm totally recovered.

Well I did all he asked for and was after 4 weeks already fit but he just said "better safe than sorry", he honestly drove me nuts these past weeks, he hovered over me and literally pampered me like I was a glass doll. He cooked, cleaned, tidied up, made all the laundry and other stuff I could've done myself, but... NO... Mr. 'taking no chances-it could always something happen' even dared to carry me the first few days down- and upstairs until I screamed and hit him all the time, he excused this behavior with "the doctor said I shouldn't move to much, bla, bla, bla", so I had so much time lately I started reading again, which I didn't in a long time, except all the stuff about vampires and their myths. I remembered my book I read the day my life changed and just thought how ironic it is. So anyways, I was happy that my 6 weeks were over and Jason finally decided to continue were we left off.

I got dresses in my training clothes and went downstairs, the clock said it was already 8:18pm, which meant I was 18 minutes late, he was waiting already and I expected some lame comments about me being late again, but he just ask if I were sure that I feel good enough to do this. I of course rolled my eyes and wouldn't wait anymore, I thought I forgot some moves and needed a brush up. He nodded and we started.

After one hour we were both sweaty and breathless, we didn't used weapons this time just hand to hand, defense and offense exercises. Jason was restrained, overly careful and cautious in his moves, so I got some pretty good blows on him, he was bruised and spat blood. He didn't say one word throughout the training until I couldn't stand it anymore. "So?" he just looked at me puzzled and asked "So what?" I growled and frowned "So...are you gonna keep on doing that, or do you think we could go back to normal and start behave like adults?" He went to the bench at the wall right next to the door and got a towel, putting it around is neck before he answered. "Well first of all you're still not legally an adult which makes the question automatically superfluous and second of all I don't know what you're talking about." I more than just glared at him, got angry and screamed for the first time since we've met at him. "Why are you acting like a stupid son of a bitch right now? I did everything you ask, went to the doctor every week which wasn't necessary by the way, you've got your fucking paper and I waited two weeks longer which also wasn't required...you know I'm fit and still act like I'm a doll who's gonna brake at the tiniest touch. I don't need any of it, it's totally annoying and the most important part is, it doesn't help anyone of us with destroying the coven." With that I stumped out of the room and went upstairs taking a shower.

After I got out I stared in the mirror and thought what I should do next, I felt good and strong enough and was desperate to do something more exciting after being kinda held as prisoner. _You can do this, you're still fit and fast. _I decided to go out after all but would leave Jason behind. I went to my closet and got my undies, leather pans and a golden tang top. Then I made my make-up and braided my hair to one long ponytail, which fell down along my back. Totally satisfied and ready for some action, I put my 4 inch leather booths on, got my two silver-wooden-sticks and put them in the sheath on my belt. I took my leather coat tied it once in the front, put my car-keys and wallet in the pocket and went downstairs. Jason was sitting in the kitchen as I came down, he looked at me expectantly, one of his brows raised. "Where are you going?" I didn't even look at him just passed and said. "Fuck off and this is non of your business, until you behave like yourself." I went outside without looking back, but I could feel his stare as I got in the car and started the engine.

20 minutes later at 10:47pm, I parked at the "Roma-Club", showed my ID, payed my entrance fee and went inside. It was hot, the air stank of sweat, alcohol and sex, the music was a mix of techno and R&B, blasted loud from the sound-boxes and people were dancing not just on the dance floor but at the booths and bars. They obviously didn't have regular dress codes, I saw some women and men just in underwear others topless showing boobs or muscles. The rainbow lights from the disco-balls and spotlights drew an everlasting circle around the club and made my eyes hurt when I watched it to long. Disgusted at the sight of almost naked people and them having sex in some corners I found a spot at the bar my back to all that craziness. The bartender smiled at me and tried to tell or ask me something in Italien, but I just shook my head and ask him if he speaks English. Then he asked in a conversationally polite voice. "Are you new?" I would remember such a beautiful face most definitely, what would you like to drink?" I smiled back and ordered 'southern-comfort with ginger ale'. As he finished my drink and put it in front of me I paid and said "Yeah I'm new and thanks for the drink." The bartender winked at me and got back to serve others.

I just sat there my hands around my drink I'm actually not suppose to have and mused over the fact I behaved like a teenage girl when I left the house. _Oh well, wasn't that a cheerful day, gosh he was such a jerk and I?... well I acted like a stupid bitch at some point...._ I shook my head at the thought..._Bella what are you doing....he was a dick and he deserved it. I gonna have fun today, yeah that's the.... _

I got cut off from my thoughts when somebody with a male voice talked to me at my right side "Hello there, how are you?" I didn't look up just hovered over my drink. G_reat that's what I need...a guy, I just have to be rude and hopefully he's gonna vanish quickly."_I'm fine." I could see from the corner of my eyes he wore a black satin shirt and jeans- I think in blue, with the lights you couldn't really tell, they could've been black or gray as well. He stood there in silence for a moment before he talked again. "Don't like to talk?" My right eyebrow came up and I felt totally annoyed "I guess not, so go away!"

But he didn't go, he actually sat down on the chair right next to me. "Hey I just wanna talk that's not a crime, I saw you sitting here all alone and thought I should keep you company, by the way my name is Alec." He stretched his hand out to me, but didn't take it, just kept on looking in my glass before something dawned on me. _Why is he talking in English? How did he know? I mean ok many people here in Italy can speak English, but still, it doesn't explain why he is not talking Italien the first time around, in a club in the middle of Rome where foreign people usually not drop by. _

"How did you know I'm not from here? I didn't talk to you first and I still don't want to, so just answer my question and then leave me alone please." I heard him sigh and mumbling something I couldn't understand and then he talked again "Well, I think it's pretty obvious, you don't have the skin color of an Italien which would be tanned or olive or let just say definitely darker than yours and then you don't act like them, they are open minded and people who come into THIS particular club want meet others and enjoy themselves with...well sex...and YOU are sitting alone at the bar with a drink in your hand and not even look at your surroundings. Ok I know that doesn't explain how I knew you would speak English and actually I didn't but I just tried, I speak 12 different languages fluent, so if it hadn't been English than my next guess would've been something European. _Alright, alright, so he is good, maybe I just talk a little bit, it's not gonna kill me right? _

Then I turned my head to look at him"Ok so that makes sense." Gosh he was gorgeous, he looked like 22, black shoulder length hair, a strong face, his cheekbones could've been chiseled from marble and flawless pale-cream skin gleamed under his shirt collar. I didn't even think any further about this guy, just adored his beauty, then I saw his eyes...I froze...they were black. _Shit, shit, shit, of course, nobody is that perfect. _I starred into his eyes for to long I think, because Alec asked "Do you like what you see?"

I came out of my stupid and dangerous trance and said in a normal conversationally voice "Well you're definitely something to look at." His brows came up, as if surprised by my reaction, he must've thought I'm gonna jump him as soon as I saw how beautiful he is, but of course I knew better. He kept staring and I was kinda satisfied with myself before he spoke again. "Well, I can give that complement right back at you, you're the most beautiful women I've seen lately.... so, may I buy you a drink?"

Ok so that was weird, first he tells me how good looking I am and then all of a sudden he wants to buy me a drink? I need to get him out here somehow, so I guess I have to play a little. "Oh that would be wonderful" was all I said. He ordered the same as before and kind of stared at me, his eyes narrowed from time to time, it was scary and I felt a shiver ran through me, but tried not to show it. _What are you starring at vampire.... __oh I know what you think, but that's not gonna happen? _

"Can you tell me what's so interesting? You keep on starring at me?" _Ha lets see what he's going to say. _Alec blinked once and said "Oh sorry, I just, I think you're so incredible unusual." _Ok, so what's that suppose to mean? _I frowned at him and ask what he meant by that, but he just got up and excused himself for a moment and I said "wait were are you going don't leave yet, please?" _Well I have to make sure he's leaving __**with**__ me tonight, right? _He smiled at me "Don't worry, I'll be right back, just going to the restroom very quick." With that he left me and I started to plan my revenge on this particular one.

Alec's PoV

I went outside, walked around the club, so that I would remain undisturbed. I took my phone out and called my master. "Hello master Aro, I've got something very interesting for you here in Rome, I found a girl, a very pretty girl, she's somewhat special....No not for a drink or sex...but for one of yours perhaps? .... I come to it....When I tried to lure her out of the club with my powers, she did not react at all, neither to me trying to cut off her senses nor to my pretenses of willing desire, it's like a wall I can't go through.....of course she is human....I don't know how I gonna lure her out, when she's immune, but I'll find a way."

Aro found that very delightful and ordered me to bring the girl to him. I put my phone away and walked back inside, she was still sitting there waiting. _Well, well, well, unfortunately I can't make you mine tonight, but we'll have some time together though. It's gonna be exciting to have you as one of us._

Bella's PoV

A few minutes later, I could feel a sudden coolness behind me, I turned around and saw Alec coming back. I didn't really come up with a plan, I just knew I have to get him out of here and then I have to kill him, the hows and wheres didn't occur to me....yet. I just played my game as good as possible. "Oh nice, I already thought you wouldn't come back." He smiled at me "I'm sorry it took me so long but my boss called me and I can't just not take it. I always keep my promise, especially when the person I made the promise to, is so cute as you are." He slightly touched me with his thump on my cheek and a cold rush went through my veins. _Gosh it's like ice....I hate you vampire you just don't know that yet. _"Oh I understand, don't worry about it."

I put my hands on my lap tried to think what to do next while he kept standing in front of me. _I don't know why but he seems to me...like....he doesn't know what to do? Can that be? _But then he spoke again _"_So, what's your name?" I sighed and thought I have to act faster, otherwise I start screaming if we continue this dump question and answer game. "My name is Lilly and since I know your's already, I tell you I'm 21 and live somewhere here and now I have enough and want you to come outside with me." _I want you to come outside with me???? Gosh how stupid sounded that? Oh geez, I should have said something like "hey wanna fuck, or let's get a room", but this? I just hope it will do, gosh I feel like a slut, trying to lure some guy out of a club...ok, not just some _guy. But obviously he didn't mind what I just said, his fat grin told everything "Trust me babe, I would follow you around the world if you ask me to._" Ugh I just bet you would _"Oh that sounds awesome, then lets go immediately."

Then I started to walk outside, happy to leave this stinking club , I took a deep breath, pleased with the fresh air, Alec came up behind me and put one arm around my shoulder. "So where do you wanna go, sweety?" he asked and I shrugged and tried to put some innocents in my voice when I said. "Um...do you have a place we could go to? Cause I kinda can't bring you home with me, my dad's gonna kill me if he sees me with a guy, you know?" Alec squeezed me slightly, obvious totally delighted with my question "Well that shouldn't be a problem I live close by and we're already going to my car over there" he pointed to a Bentley GT and I trembled, not because of his cold arm, but because of the car, which reminded me of my mom and Phil. _What is it with this fucking overly expensive car and vampires? _He felt me shiver and ask if I was alright and I just told him, I'm kinda getting cold outside. As we reached his car he tried to be gentlemen and opened the passengers side for me and waited until I was seated and buckled before he closed the door and went over to the drivers seat, then he started the engine and drove away. I didn't really know what to do, I got nervous but calmed myself with the feeling of my sticks under my coat. I thought of stabbing him while we drive, but if I kill him, I can't make it fast enough to stop the car and didn't want to end up dead myself.

Alec kept his left hand on the wheel and with the other he stroked over my leg. I tried to be normal and smiled at him, even when I hated his touch on me. He asked some more questions, like were I grew up and what I'm doing here in Italy and were my family is. I just lied and told him I'm alone on vacation. He was somehow overly pleased with that.

We must've been very fast, because all of a sudden there were no streetlights and houses anymore, just desert and trees. I swallowed and couldn't help it that my breath shortened. Alec noticed my change and ask "Lilly are you alright? Do you want to stop for a minute?" I thought he must think I'm sick, but NO I was just scared and thought that's it, my chance, I just nodded and felt the car slow down until we pulled over and stopped.

I opened the door, got out and leaned my butt against the trunk, trying to take deep and slow breaths. Alec came around, standing beside and looking at me. When I finally calmed myself I thanked him for stopping and stepped in front of him, playing with his shirt, he smiled and ask "Oh, oh, so you wanna play right outside, I like that?!" He touched my face and slid down my neck over my collar bone and down my arms until he rested his hand on my butt. I hated it so much I almost screamed but couldn't expose myself, not when I was this close to kill a vampire. I had to stop him, not just because it was disgusting but my sticks were still on my belt and I couldn't let him find them, so I said "hey, hey, we don't wanna be so fast don't we? and anyway let me play a little bit, you can play later when I'm done with you." He grinned at that and took his hands back holding on to the trunk on each side of his body. "Oh baby, you are just awesome, your wish is my command." _Ugh.. now.. I definitely gonna throw up when this is over_. I slid my hands up his chest and pulled his collar to the side, so that I could kiss his neck, he watched me and a growl escaped his throat, I played with his hair "can you turn around? I'd like to play a little more." He growled again and turned around. I put my arms around him, kept on playing with his shirt first, opened the buttons one by one until I pulled it off his arms. I started to leak my way up his spine with my tongue while I touched his shoulders and slid down his chest very slowly, he gasped at every touch and I needed all my strength not to vomit. When I reached his waistband I stopped for a second _Bella you can do this, don't stop now, you need to do this. _And then I reached down with my left hand, cupped his full erection over his pans and he moaned.

At that very moment I pulled my right hand back and grabbed one of the sticks and stabbed him in one fast move in the back, hopefully reaching the heart. He yelled out and in a flash he turned around, backhanded me with one hand and I flew over 16 foot against a tree, hitting my back and fell to the ground. _Ouch...not again, why always me.... so that was not good and fuck he's not dead. _I looked up and saw him still standing there, starring at me wide-eyed and shocked "what the hell?" was what he said before he fell to his knees, immobilized but not dead yet, I could tell, _if looks could kill I would be more than just dead now. _I ignored the pain that run down my spine and got up, grabbed my second stick and walked slowly over to him. I mean it was dangerous but I didn't have anything to loose anymore, so I couldn't care less and obviously I hurt him pretty bad, or he was just a good actor. I stopped one arm-length away from him, knelt down, let him knew I've got another stick while I held it right over his chest aimed for his heart. He looked at me and blood came out of his mouth as he spoke. "Who are you? I knew you were special?" I smiled at him and felt save, because I obviously harmed him bad enough, otherwise he would've killed me by now. I pushed the stick a little into his chest and drew blood then said "Well I guess you could say I'm your death but since you're already dead I don't know what to call me, but anyways, I have some questions for you and maybe if you play nice I let you go, so listen up....if you do one false move this stick – I pushed a bit deeper – will kill you, it's made of silver so don't even try! I like to know where I can find Aro, Caius and Marcus, I know they live in Volterra but just not exactly where?" He looked shocked and surprised at the same time and started laughing or lets say he tried to, it sounded more like a gurgle. I just frowned didn't know what was so funny and thought he played me, my heart sped up and I got nervous again but didn't flinch. "Wow I'm even more impressed, but first let me tell you something little girl, you can't hide your reaction, I can smell your fear and your heart is pumping so fast I can hear your blood running through your veins and by the way you smell delicious of jasmine and orange, it's a very interesting combination...but let me make something very clear to you, even if I tell you were to find the masters you wouldn't make it out of there alive or even close to them. There are hundreds of us, each one of them with incredible powers which is not important though, because just the fact that they are vampires and so much stronger than you or any other humans makes it impossible to brake in the compound...you have not a chance.

But still I'm impressed, I told the masters, someday the humans will know about us and even the guardians can't protect the knowledge anymore and here you are, standing right in front of me with the only weapon that can kill us and asking me about the 3 oldest and most powerful vampires ever exists... Oh yes, you're special and with your gift, Aro would gain even more power than he has already." I was puzzled and annoyed and angry at the same time "What do you mean with...my gift?" He laughed again and pressed himself more into the stick so that he was barely inches away from my face, blood running out of his chest, smearing my clothes and hands, he panted even more before he said almost whispering "Oh trust me, you're very very special, but you should figure that out on your own, I don't won't to spoil everything after all...but I tell you what you want to know, just because of the fun of it and I most definitely know you won't make it out of their alive and Aro's gonna have so much fun, torturing you for killing me...the vampires you seek live in Volterra that's right, they live underground and the best way to go inside, is through an entrance at the big plaza, the one with the clock tower...and one more thing...if you should ever make it to the central hall, give Jane my greetings and tell her I loved her all my life." With that he put his hands around mine and pushed the stick through his heart himself and fell forward. I fell back with him on top his weight left me breathless and I had to use all my strength to push him off, then I just lay back again, closed my eyes and sighed in relief.

_Alright so I don't care about killing them, it's even very exciting and satisfying that there is one less of them, but having them near me is plain torture.... and I was just lucky today because I caught him off guard. Phew...my back's gonna hurt the next days, I don't wanna know what they can do if they use both arms and their full strength...jeez that was close....and now I've got another problem...Jason, fuck. He's gonna be so mad...but what the heck, I still killed a vampire today and am damn proud of myself. _Several moments later I finally decided to go home and once I got up, I felt the stiffness in my back and dragged myself to the car. I left the vampire where he was, drove back to the club to get my own.

When I finally arrived back home, it was already after 3am and Jason stood angry at the frontdoor, arms crossed at his chest. _Did he wait all night there on the porch? Oh jeez, that's going to be a big drama...well just let's get it over it Bella! _I got out of my car and felt even more stiff and almost stumbled over my own feet but caught myself in time. I took the 3 steps from the porch in slow grandma-style strides each step with one foot, in addition I pulled myself up on the banister my eyes focused at Jason all the time. I wanted to say something first, but he was faster and his voice was loud and grumpy . "I hope you're not too exhausted now, because I have a lot to say to you!" he tapped his foot on the floor and continued as I finally reached the top step and held myself on the column. "First of all you do never and I repeat never just run out of the house like this again, we talk first and then you may decide to run off for hours.... second, if you have a death wish, you just have to ask" at that I winced "you don't need to go out and try to hunt some vampires down who might just torture you for a while before they decide to kill you. I at least would do it fast and clean, so that somebody might bury your whole body, not just the peaces." I winced again and swallowed, tears gathered in my eyes, but I didn't looked away, just tried to get at least some sound out. "So are you ready now? Because I had a fucking bad night.... I seduced a vampire, got almost killed and my back hurts like hell from a tree I was thrown against. So if you don't mind, because I don't, I'd like to talk about the rest later after I slept and feel better.

The next day was actually quiet nice, 63 degrees and the sun was shining. I slept in till 2pm and after a long bath I felt the tension and stiffness from the night slowly fade away. I stretched myself, got dressed in tang top and sweat pans, dried and braided my hair and went downstairs to talk about last nights adventure a bit more. I was glad that Jason didn't wake me up and hoped he's in a better mood, cause I couldn't get through such a conversation again without braking apart.

When I came in the kitchen, he wasn't there, I frowned and felt disappointed, but also couldn't actually really expect him to wait until I'm ready to wake up. I made coffee and got something to eat from the fridge – fruits and bagel with creamcheese – then sat down on one of four kitchen chairs and enjoyed my late breakfast. Just as I got up again to pour me some fresh hot coffee, Jason came up from behind. "Aha so the late riser has finally woken up and decided to join me?" he didn't say it angry, more like grinning, I turned around to see him really smile, I just smiled back and offered him my cup. Jason took it and I poured another one before I sat down again.

He joined me and looked somewhat apologetic. "Bella...the things I said last night....they were inappropriate and unfair, I know you ran off because of me...I know I acted like an idiot and I'm really sorry. But when I saw you last night, all bloody and in pain I got so furious, scared but thankful at the same time. I told you already you're my family now and I couldn't bear to loose you as well." he sighed and continued " I followed you to the club and saw who you talked to but didn't interfere, it could've been bad if I did, so I just stood there and watched you two talk. After you guys went outside I got in my car and tried to follow you, but as I backed out of the parking spot, someone stood behind me talking to some whore with windows down and then he finally left I had no idea where you went and drove home, pleading and hoping you would make it out of there alive."

I was so surprised that I just stared at him, not knowing what to say. "Bella please say something, I know what I did was more than low and I shouldn't have followed you, but I see you as my daughter and try to protect you."

Both my eyebrows came up, I sipped more coffee before I tried to speak. "Alright, so you apologized for being a jerk, dick, brick, idiot and who knows what else and I take it with cheer, I can even except the things you said last night when I came back, but the fact that you followed me is disappointing, I mean ok I was in grave danger and know I just made it out of there by a whisker, but still, what you did was wrong, you can't just follow me when we got a fight or you think it could be dangerous. I want at least a little privat life, what would you have done when there wouldn't have been a vampire? I mean would you have walked up to me and pulled me out to bring me home, because some naked people could've molested me? I know we have just each other, but you definitely need to stop trying to protect me from everything what may or may not hurt me. I'm not your daughter and never will be and don't try to make something right here, what you couldn't so many years ago. You didn't know vampires exists, so how could you possibly do something to protect them. It's all over now and you need to move forward." _wow did I just say all that? I know I should be sorry about it, but I'm not and he really needs to learn that sooner better than later. _Jason looked at me gaping, trying to say something, but closed his mouth again, then I said. "I'm sorry for being so harsh but I think it was overdue and if you wanna say something about it, then do it now, because otherwise, I'd like to talk about what happened after you obviously left." Jason just thanked me for being so honest, said he needed it and agreed to talk about the rest. So I told him everything and we decided to go hunting together from now on, first so that I get some routine and second to get more information if possible and then figure out how to get in the covens compound.

**Alright so that Chapter is the longest by now, I really enjoyed writing it and hope you'll like it.**

**And I know it's annoying, but please give me some reviews, I am always happy to see other opinions and will write back each one of you. **


	8. Chapter 8: The Enemy

Chapter 8

**3 months later.....May 21th 2008**

**Third person PoV**

_Since Jason was on the hunt much longer than Bella, he already assumed that the vampires got some powers to make their victims willingly go with them. He saw it all the time when those bloodsuckers talked to, mostly women, lured them in with their beauty and made them obedient. Sometimes when women didn't like the blatancy of the strange man in front, they told them to leave and sometimes they even punched them, but in the end non of the women ever managed to resist and they all ended up acting like in trance, following the villain outside and into the next dark corner where they just stood there, unmoving, letting the vampire do whatever he got on it's mind. Jason watched a lot of girls and women got murdered, raped and drained while they were bitten because he was to late or couldn't prevent the worst. _

_But he also saved a lot of them and killed the vampire, all of those who were rescued never knew what happened, they just remembered meeting some gorgeous guy, having a wonderful evening and after that everything was blank which definitely showed, that they were manipulated._

_After Bella killed Alec three months ago, they went hunting together almost every night. Of course they didn't find the creature they both hated the most on every hunting trip, but at least twice a week. It was always the same scheme with the bloodsuckers -club or bar, vampire seeks it's prey, luring them out, molest, drink and kill or catch them for the masters-. _

_In the beginning it was all learning, observing, seeking the vampire, getting as much information as possible and trying to find the easiest way to kill them unnoticed for Bella. Jason supported her in each possible way, he trained certain weaknesses she still had and worked on different and death bringing stabbing methods. _

_Each time they found a vampire, Jason let Bella take the deathblow, so she could figure her own best way of killing them. But Jason was always in save distance to interfere if something went wrong and she needed fast support. Of course it wasn't always as easy as it sounds. They both got a lot of times injured, bruised and shared blood with the concrete through the fights. _

_All vampires were differently strong and fast, they defend themselves and their prey when threatened, but Jason and Bella never stopped or gave up...No... they found satisfaction, justice for the victims and even a little excitement every time they killed. _

_Bella got better and better and could even go alone on a vampire hunt by now, killing them came and was as easy as breathing. She even found a kind of nickname for her and Jason and made them the "death-chasers." Jason thought it was funny and actually started to tell each vampire they sent back to hell or wherever they came from, that they should tell everyone they might see down there, that the "death-chasers took final revenge"._

**Bella's PoV**

When I got out of the shower, I checked my injuries I've gotten two days ago. There were some bruises, cuts, my face had different colors and lacerations, but the worst and most painful part was my shoulder. It got dislocated as I flew- as so many other times before - against some garbage while I tried to kill another bloodsucker._ We really need to find some alleys without those stinking, metal, coffins . Otherwise they gonna be my death sentence one day. _I sighed and held my left shoulder and winced at the touch. _Shit, this is gonna hurt for days now, No actually weeks...and I definitely can't go fight like this, which means, resting...yay, exactly what I like...oh fuck, this stupid son of a bitch of a vampire, I hope you rot in hell!_ I mentally shouted.

I walked over to my closet, took some comfortable clothes out -pink shirt and blue jeans- and yelled once as I tried to put my left arm through the sleeve, my pans weren't hard, I just used my other arm. When I was finally dressed I opened the window, closed my eyes, leaned out and breathed deeply, it was a light breeze outside and the fresh air cheered me up. The sun was shining bright in a beautiful cloudless blue sky. The trees were all green and birds were chirping here and there.

Like always the street below was already busy at 7:00am, people were walking with shopping bags from the farmers market close by or with kids either in strollers or hand-held by their parents. Cars drove in both directions, their drivers either going to work, or coming home from the night-shift. Yeah it was quiet normal except this one guy completely in black with a big hat, hands in his pocket, his face barely visible in the shade. He was standing across the street between two buildings looking in my direction. I stared at him trying to convince myself he's not looking at me, but wasn't really successful with it. I got tense after minutes passed by and he still didn't move an inch, he was so still as dead can be and I knew it was a vampire.

I sighed, turned around and closed the window, _so they finally found us, I mean it was clear at some point that we can't stay here forever, not after so many murders. _I knew from Jason that the bloodsuckers could go out in sunlight but never saw one until today, they wouldn't burn or turn to dust, but they still had to be careful because their skin sparkled in the sunlight and everybody would know something about them is wrong. So if they didn't want to expose themselves they had to disguise or stay in their coffins or wherever that might be which I would prefer instead of knowing that they could attack even during the day. I sighed and turned around again, but he was gone. _Fuck, fuck and fuck __again, that's so not good, I need to tell Jason. _

I dragged myself to his room knocking on the door and said in a loud voice. " Jason get up, we got a problem, meet me downstairs!" I heard movements on the other side and mumbling, something like "go...to...early" So I knocked again but louder and yelling this time "I said you need to get up now, I meet you in the kitchen, I start breakfast, we need to talk." there was a thud on the other side, it sounded like something was thrown against the door, I just grinned and thought. _Morning grouch. _Then I walked downstairs.

After 20 minutes and several French-toast later, Jason finally decided to join me, he didn't look much better than me but wasn't as injured, he still got both his shoulders working normal. He sat down on the kitchen chair next to me as I said "good morning grumpy I'm glad you finally made it, I thought I need to send an ambulance to check on you?" My grin reached my ears, I couldn't help it, that I'm a sunshine in the morning and he is always so fuddy-duddy. Jason growled and pouted as he poured himself some juice in a glass and made me laugh. He drank and looked at me "So! what is so important, that couldn't wait until I'm all rise and shine just like you" He checked his watch and went on "after at least 3 hours more sleep?" I grinned at him again but lost it as fast as it came as I thought about the vampire earlier. Jason noticed my reaction an ask what's going on. I told him what I saw, he got angry, but didn't look surprise, just like me.

"We need to get out of here as fast as we can, I knew one day it would happen and today is obviously that very particular one. I mean we've had our fair share of killings over the last months and I wondered already when they gonna realize something is up." I nodded in total understanding "Do you know where to go?" he just watched me for a moment as if in deep thoughts before he answered. "I think it would be best we leave Italy completely and try to hide somewhere else, we need to lay low now if we don't wanna get exposed and killed of course. We won't have time to pack everything and we need to get out here fast and drive our cars to the international airport to get some flight tickets. Maybe we go back to the US?"

Jason asked the last part with hesitation, knowing it would be hard for both of us to go back. I didn't think much of my past lately and could even sleep without nightmares from time to time. I sometimes even forgot to call Michael and stretched it out to two months. He still doesn't know what I'm doing, I told him I go to school in Rome and have a half time job in a cafè, I think he believes it, I mean many people in my age go traveling around and gather some new experiences. He keeps on telling me every time, that my dad would love to talk to me and he wants me home, but I just can't now and couldn't in the past. I really miss him and would honestly love to see him again, but not under these circumstances.

I sighed and said "Why not? We've been here for a long time now and you even longer, so lets go back to the US, maybe to California, it's warm there and a brake would be wonderful, because I...." I held my left shoulder again and winced "...definitely need one." Jason smiled and gave me a hug, I yelled out as he squeezed to hard. "Sorry" he said.

We finished breakfast and went in our rooms to pack only the bare necessities which definitely included my only weapons I've got versus vampires, my bank card, some clothes, my leather coat and some beauty supplies. After we met in the kitchen again, we checked all the windows to see if someone else might be there waiting for us, but everything looked clear, so we got our car-keys and went to the cars. Jason drove ahead to the 21 miles away "Fiumicino Airport" out of Rome. He said it's better we keep some distance between us, so it doesn't look like we belong together at first sight.

I waited 15 minutes before I started the engine and drove off as well, looking in the rear-view mirror to check if somebody followed me, but didn't.

It was hot outside, almost unbearable and I was glad that my car had air conditioner for the first time as I drove with sunglasses on, following Jason the never ending deserted -sometimes seeing two cars- road to the Airport.

Since I went out of the house, I felt uneasy, tense and thought something was wrong, it was way to easy to leave like we did. I thought the vampires would try something. _Maybe I was wrong and it wasn't a vampire after all? But.....No...I'm certain. But wouldn't I have tried to kill the two people who murdered my friends and family when I got the chance? ....Of course __**I **__would....I mean that's what I did the last 3 months. But those are not normal people, so I can't think of them as ordinary beings. I don't even really know what they are...dead, half-alive, half-dead??? Ok the last part was nonsense._

I drew in breath, then blew in out slowly, feeling the pain pounding in my shoulder when I gripped the wheel to hard with my hands, knuckles turned white. _I don't know but something is wrong, I can feel it? Maybe I should call Jason and see where he is. _With that I took my phone out of my backpack and dialed his number. It rang and rang and rang until his voicemail picked up. "That's not a good sign, is it?" I asked myself frowning before everything happened so fast I couldn't even react.

I heard a bang, then felt how my car lifted, overturned and all of a sudden I was upside down, the windows crashed and I was squeezed between the car roof and the wheel. I remembered my head in a uncomfortable position and the smell of blood before everything turned black.

I woke up to the sound of people talking somewhere in the background, people whose voices I didn't recognize but they were male most definitely. Then I felt the growing pain in my head and shoulder and pressed my palms against my temples, _ouch that hurts, _before I realized there was blood on my fingers through my temples as I felt the warm liquid running slowly down my wrists. I tried to open my eyes, it felt like stones pulling at my eyelids and my headache got even worse. When I finally had them open I blinked several times to clear my vision.

I was in a huge room, the ceiling must've been 30 foot high, there were no windows, the only light came from torches hanging at the surrounded walls. The room was colored in red and gold with art of different people everywhere.

I was.... laying on the floor in one of the corners, a jacket...not mine, tucked under my head. I pushed myself up in a sitting position which made me automatically dizzy, legs outstretched and my back leaning against the cold wall as I tried to breath slowly. My clothes, I still had on....thank God....looked alright except for a little blood here and there, but my backpack was gone. Then I heard somebody say "She's awake" and "oh that's wonderful" before I saw two figures walking in my direction.

As they came closer I saw they wore black long cloaks, the hood pulled over their heads, casting a shadow over their faces, which almost looked like they don't have one at all. I felt my heart sped up and trembled inside. _Alright, so I'm definitely not in a hospital and those two are definitely not the good Samaritan....and the way they walk?...well it's more like floating over the floor...and gosh it gets cold in here, which means those two are not my best friends and I would rather not be here...and not just that, but my sticks are gone too...fuck!!! And where is Jason, I hope he's alright?_

I kept on sitting in the same position not moving one inch, just my eyes followed every movement of the two strangers coming closer and waited for something to happen.

They stopped 3 foot away, looking down at me, I could tell from the movement of their heads - they dropped down a little and I looked up into plain blackness, not knowing whether they're male or female. The one to the right started talking. "Hello Bella, it's a very great pleasure to meet you finally. My name is Demetri and this." he pointed in a hand-circling gesture with his open palm like a butler to the other figure "is Caius my lord and master, but I guess you know that name already? and by the way you smell delicious and it's very hard to restrain myself not to drink from you right here." then I heard him smirk. _Oh, oh, oh isn't that just peachy.... but what the hell, that's actually why I started killing you guys in the first place, to find your master coven...and obvious I'm right in the middle...awesome. And what am I gonna do or say? Like, hey I found you...or better you found me now, please give me my weapons back so I can at least try to fight and kill you, before I make my way down to hell. _I didn't say anything just waited and observed if they gonna attack me soon and rip my throat out or something like that, but nothing happened, instead Caius started to speak in a totally polite voice actually.

" Welcome to our beautiful home, I apologize for the inconvenience of your resting place, since we don't sleep at all, we don't have any beds around here but at least I made sure you got something softer under your head than the wooden floor. I have to say your actions were quiet disturbing over these past months, the younger generation would say you rocked to boat quiet a bit I guess. And I have to tell you, I was quiet furious at Alec when he didn't come back after he promised to bring a very magnificent special girl to us, so I sent someone just to find him stabbed with silver wooden sticks through the heart. That was actually also the reason why I started to investigate what's going on. After all, Alec was one of my guardians and one of the most powerful vampires I've had and couldn't quiet put all the puzzle pieces together of how he could possibly have been gotten killed in such a cruel way. First we assumed it was one of our own, because it's not a common knowledge how to kill us and that we exist at all, but after the murders didn't stop and all the vampires who were suppose to come back didn't. We knew our enemy must be someone totally different, so we sent more members to find out who is killing our people, some of them even had to play bait and got murdered after they drank from some human who wouldn't even remember a thing which makes it more difficult for me to understand the whole cruelty of this situation....but then....at least we found out about a pretty young energetic girl, who isn't just human, but also a careless, uncompassionate, successful killer and a man who obvious trained this before said murderer who had some pretty countless killings himself over the years. It is really quiet impressive!"

he stopped for a second and continued sarcastically. "Oh and I also apologize for being so rude that we blew your car, I see you're hurt and that's not what I intended to do, but when we heard you leaving Rome, we had to act fast and so that nobody would suspect anything....your cars were totally destroyed after we got you out of course, so nobody will miss you."

I sighed at all that information and cursed myself for not listening to my instincts as I drove to the airport. _Well since we are all so polite, plush and sarcastic....I can do the same, just for the fun of it until they kill me anyway. _"Well first of all, thank you so very much for being so caring about my head, second, I'd like to know where Jason is, third, there is nothing cruel about killing already dead people, fourth, it's deprivation of liberty to manipulate innocent human girls to make them willing being raped and drained, so therefore I think I have a very very good reason and many others would agree with me when I say that you are just worthless, brutal and careless killing machines, which is more than enough for an excuse for what I do!" Demetri started laughing at my explanation and Caius just shook his head, whether in agreement or shock or maybe even the fact I'm cocky.

But then he said, again in his polite and silent voice, which left my hair stand up at my neck. "Like I said before I'm impressed and now even more so. You're the most incredible human being I've ever met, so strong and stubborn and even in such for you dangerous situation, fearless and ready to fight." I just shrugged and winced as a new wave of pain came back in my left shoulder. I couldn't hide a moan and held my injured side with my right hand, then took deep breaths, the pounding in my head didn't increase but didn't decrease either and sweat started to built on my forehead or maybe it was still the blood running down from my head wound. Both vampires noticed my reaction of course and snorted before Demetri answered. "Well Bella I guess it still hurts, it must've been unbearable pain to dislocate the shoulder, but you choose your way and now you have to pay for it. And by the way, trust me when I say your Jason is just fine." And then Demetri laughed again, which made me more than nervous, something was going on. _What does that mean "Jason is just fine"...fine alive?...fine dead?....fine food?....and_ w_hy am I still alive? I mean the_y _know everything I did and I can hear that they are more than angry. _

This was the worst part, not knowing what's going to happen, one was overly polite the other angry as I would be in such a situation. And not seeing their faces didn't make it any better. "So, since I amuse you guys so much, can you tell me why am I still alive? I mean I definitely can't fight right now and it wouldn't bring anything even if I could and I also don't think you just wanna stay there and talk and make some lame comments about be being hurt, so why don't you guys just get it over with?" Then Caius nodded and said it's time and gave Demetri another nod who came over to me, grabbed my right arm and pulled me up from the floor. First I swayed, felt dizzy at the sudden move but tried to struggle against his grip anyway, which of course was worthless, especially in my current condition. Demetri made me walk and kept his grip way to hard on my arm and Caius walked on the left side next to me.

When we came to a hallway it was long and wide, 5 people could easily walk side by side, the ceiling was as high as in the room before but arched. Stone sculptures of some ancient-looking gods were standing on the left and right side, guarding the way. Torches lighted the darkness and casted some creepy shadows from the sculptures on the walls. We past several doors all dark brown, they looked heavy and very old. I heard some noises like deep breaths as we walked down the hall and I shivered at the sound. Caius noticed and said again in his all to polite voice. "Here living more than 200 vampires at the compound and some of them are newly changed and can't control their thirst quiet as easy as others. And with your open wound and the blood still running, they can smell it miles away and since yours is special sweet and luring, it's hard to ignore it." I swallowed at the thought of them drinking from me and shook my head in disgust. "But today is your lucky day, since we have laws and orders who prevent some vampires doing what they want and kill who they want, and also the fact that you're being guarded by me and one of the masters, nobody will ever dare to touch you, so you're totally save." Demetri said in a smug voice, pulling me forward to go faster. _Awesome I'm safe, because I'm the lucky one who was honored to walk side by side with the king and his smug henchman...yay...now I feel peachy, and if this asshole doesn't stop pulling me like this I'm gonna throw up. _"Alright, I get it, but still it doesn't make me feel better you know? And since you guys obviously don't wanna kill me...yet, I rather would walk on my own instead of being pulled through a dark hallway by a scarecrow whom I'm gonna hurt if he doesn't stop squeezing my arm like that." I tried to pull away a little and stumped my heel into his foot. Demetri let go off me immediately and growled "Girl I guess you really have a death-wish, or you're just plain stupid and I'm the lucky one who..." he got cut off by Caius "That's enough, let her walk by herself, she got temper, I like that." then he just laughed and Demetri looked with narrowed eyes at me but didn't say anything else.

We kept walking in silence until we reached some huge double metal doors which reached the ceiling, two vampires also in cloaks guarded the doors on each side and nodded at Caius and Demetri as we came closer. They opened the doors simultaneous and a huge hall came in sight. My captures slowed down but kept walking. 4 steps right after the big metal doors led down to a huge area, here too, were hundreds of torches, chandeliers hung from the ceiling and lightened the walls, there were drawings of angels and other things I couldn't tell. In the middle stood a stone altar with goblets, knifes and candles on top. Behind were six beautiful carved chairs on a heighten platform, they looked like thrones and in three of them sat more vampires.

There was a women, totally beautiful. Her pale skin looked flawless, her face chiseled from marble, she had big black eyes, thick lashes and a turned-up nose, full red lips and long almond brown curls that was pinned up, curly strands were falling out and around her neck . Her dress, was as beautiful as she was, making her figure look curvy at the right places, her corset out of red velvet, shoulder free with black rose embroideries on it and long wide sleeves. Her skirt reached the floor and was pitch black. She had a smile on her face, but it didn't look friendly. Then there were two man, they had both long pitch black hair that fell down their backs. Their eyes were crimson and their features not as flawless as the womens, but they still looked beautiful. They both had the same lean but well-muscled body and wore long sleeve satin shirts, like Alec the night I killed him and black leather pans. They too, had a smile on their faces, but didn't look grim as the women.

Demetri grabbed my arm again, but not as hard as before and pulled me forward until we were standing a few feet away from the altar. I could see there was dried and washed-out blood that made me drew in breath then blew it out slowly as if in exhaustion. I looked at the three vampires in front and one of them rose and walked over to us. Out of the corners of my eyes I saw that Caius walked around the altar and nodded once at the man who came forward and sat down next to the women. Demetri let go off me again and did the same.

I stood there, outnumbered, unarmed, hurt and totally exposed in front of the obvious most powerful vampires. _Alright...so I guess that's Aro, let see what he wants. I know I shouldn't push my luck, but since I know I'm not gonna make it out of here alive, I can just as well try to be strong and stubborn and not showing that I'm scared like shit right now. _"Alright guys so, the show was great and I really felt something but can't really tell what it was...can we just get this over with and make this quick? I kind of got other plans already. I guess you must be Aro when everybody else here is acting like they should bow?" The man now standing in front of me looked amused and stretched his hand out. "Bella, it's very nice to meet you finally." He said it also in that disgusting polite voice and my hairs stood up again. I was brave and held my hand out to him, he took it gently, a cold shower ran through me as he held on for several seconds, his eyes had an amused glitter in them, then he let go. "This is magnificent, you really are immune to psychic powers, like a insuperable wall. What a nice gift that is." I arched both brows at his statement, was puzzled and didn't really know what he meant until it dawned me. _This is it!....this is what Alec meant by me being very special....so, their skills doesn't work on me, huh? How perfect....I guess I have to be grateful, otherwise Alec just would've used his powers on me and I would be dead by now...and I thought I was __just lucky and got him off guard...how stupid that was. _

I shook my head slightly and sighed, it felt like somebody hammered on it, I knew I lost a lot of blood, after all I didn't know what time it is, or what day and my head-wound just stopped bleeding. I was weak and dizzy and knew if I don't sit down or get some sleep and do something for my injuries I'm not gonna make it through this conversation much longer without fainting, which would be more than just embarrassing. "Ok so I'm special and wonderful and who knows what else, but still I don't know two things...where is Jason and what do you want?"

I swayed slightly, but not deliberately, the feeling of giddiness got worse and I closed my eyes for a moment and just breathed and listened "Bella, Bella, Bella...you're very brave and I love your temper, but I don't think you're in the right position or condition to make demands, your heartbeat is irregular, I can hear it and I can feel you're scared but angry. You're so weak right now, it wouldn't even be fun to play a game with you, but I could change that, right here and now and in a couple days you would be stronger and one of the most powerful beings?"

_Beings? ...Oh no no you do not. _I opened my eyes again, looked at the other vampires behind Aro and then back at him. "You know, you're right, I'm in a pretty bad shape at this very moment and I don't know how long I have the strength to stand upright, but I won't give up and rather have you kill me, before I become one of yours."

Aro had this glimmer in his eyes again and an ironic smile that showed his fangs before he answered. "Unfortunately...even with a good reason....I do not wish you dead, that would be way to easy to make you pay and anyway I kind of really like you and think it would be a great shame to let such a beautiful strong-minded girl just die. I actually planned on something completely different. I thought I give you two choices. Number one, you can become one of us and replace Alec...."

the women growled in the back as she heard Alec's name and interrupted. "Aro you can't just replace the love of my life with that fragile human, he was the strongest and your best and I should just rip her apart for killing him!" Aro didn't say anything, just kept looking at me and I looked at the women and couldn't hide my smile, totally ignoring the before said offer before I spoke.

"Aha so you must be Jane then, you know I have a last message for you from your now former lover, he told me to give you his best greetings and that he loved you all his life before I gave him the deathblow through his heart." Jane sprang up and in a flesh she was on me, pulling both of us to the ground, sitting on me and clawed at my arms and chest with her nails, ripping my shirt and drawing more blood out of me, screaming and cursing. I didn't have much strength to push her away, so I just started being girly and pulled at her hair with my right hand which made her yell out and stop for just a short moment before she got more furious and started punching me with her fists, so hard that she knocked the breath out of me, I heard cracking noises in my chest and had to let go off her hair, pulling my arms over my face and tried to protect at least this part from her blows. Jane punched a little longer, I yelled out from time to time and I felt blood in my mouth and started to cough or more like choke, obviously she hit some intestines.

Nobody stopped her and I just lay there, undefended and awaited my death to come soon. Then she bashed one more time and the force of it dislocated my shoulder again and left me screaming in pain, before Aro finally decided to stop the whole charade and pulled Jane off me. I heard her arguing, the others obviously, either amused or shocked. I moaned and choked blood, closed my eyes as I felt the tears which came with the pain, my breath shortened, breathing got much harder, I felt numb, couldn't feel anything at all except the excruciating pain and hoped I'll die. Aro talked to me, but it sounded so far away I couldn't hear what he said and then the pain started to ease a little with every second and I thought that's it, that is how it feels to die until I fell in total unconsciousness.

**Hi my lovely readers, I hope you enjoyed this chapter? Please let me know what you thought and think of it. :-) .... other chapter coming soon**


	9. Chapter 9: Choices

Chapter 9

Bella's PoV

This time when I opened my eyes again, I was laying in a bed, I had a pillow under my head and was covered with a blanket, from chest to toe. I had bandages on my arms and my shoulder was obviously set back to normal, it didn't hurt at all, my headache was gone, my chest seemed fine as well since I could breath without any chokes or grasps.... actually I felt completely good.

I surveyed my room and knew immediately I was still at the compound, there were no windows, just torches and paintings at the walls. The room was smaller than the others I've seen but made it more comfortable. The door was to my right and it was one of the dark brown ones I saw in the hallway I walked along with Demetri and Caius.

_I would love to know what time it is, or if it's day or night and what day...and more than anything I'm starving. _

Then the door opened and a tall, honey-blond colored hair, golden eyed, pale-cream skinned Adonis walked in with a tray and lots of food. His features where just plain perfect. He had nice cheekbones, a strong face, thin but masculine lips and due to his chin length hair, he looked even more astonishing. He had a brown long sleeve sweater and dark blue jeans on, but even those ordinary clothes looked somewhat special on him. Every model would be jealous of his beauty. I glanced at him for another moment, before reality caught up with me. I blinked once, just to clear my head a little further. _No wonder that some women got problems to resist when some of them look even more beautiful than it's allowed. _

He put the tray on a small table next to my bed I haven't recognized before and smiled at me. "It's nice you're finally awake, I hope you're feeling better?" I frowned and thought, another wannabe "I'm a polite and sarcastic vampire" which annoyed me and hoped he would leave me alone. As I didn't say anything he spoke again. "Bella, right? I understand that you ain't very eager to talk to one of us, so I just tell you, this food is all for you and I hope you'll eat it, I made it myself, I guess you must be hungry after four days?"

My eyebrows arched and I was shocked. "What do you mean by four days? Like I was four days out of it? Not conscious?" He had a depressed expression and looked almost... apologetic? "Um...yes, that is what I meant. After your fight with Jane, you passed out and Aro let you bring in here, he told one of the vampires who has been a doctor in his human live, to take care of you and your injuries, which by the way were pretty bad. You looked rather battered and broken and wouldn't have survived without help. Your were unconscious for the last four days, Aro had somebody bring a bed and ordered me to check on you once in a while.... I'm sorry you have to be here." With that he turned around and started walking to the door, I was puzzled and couldn't figure out why I cared what he said, but somehow I did and called after him. "Hey please wait." He stopped and turned around again, then I went on. "Um...I don't know why but thanks, what's your name...and oh do you guys have a bathroom in here somewhere?" He kind of stared at me before he answered. "I am Jasper and yes there are bathrooms in the compound you may use the one across from this room, it's suppose to be all yours, nobody will disturb you and there are some clothes as well. Take care and be careful while you're here." Then this weird stranger called Jasper left my room and closed the door. I glared at the door for several moments, astonished about what just happened before I got up to fill my stomach and didn't even think about why I could walk so easily or felt no pain or wasn't dizzy, after all four days weren't enough to regenerate completely, I was pretty sure I had something broken and internal injuries, but instead I just thought. _Wow he was actually quiet nice and I had the feeling he doesn't wanna be here? Mhm weird. _I looked down at me and saw that I wore a way to big, black thigh-long T-shirt and hoped that those scare-crows didn't touch me in the wrong way or anything else while I was out. The thought left me shivering.

When I was done with all the fruits, sandwiches and juices, I felt even better and was ready to kick some asses, after all I wanted to get out of here as quick as possible and find Jason or course. _Oh I hope he's alright, god please let him be alright? _

Then I wanted to take shower and get some new clothes on, so I walked over, put my face as close as I could with my ear on the door and listened, trying to figure out if somebody might be on the other said. But everything was quiet, I couldn't hear a thing which left me sigh and just had to try what happens when I open this door.

I stepped back a little, but so that I could still reach the doorknob, then I grabbed it, turned it and pulled the door open, slowly. After a few inches, I stopped pulling and listened again, but still there was nothing, so I peaked through the door crack. When I didn't see anything dead walk or float around, I ran across the hallway and opened the hopefully bathroom door and slid inside, closed the door behind me.

It was pitch black, I pressed my back against the door and tried to breath soundless and just listened. Of course I couldn't hear anything as well, even if somebody would be here, I wouldn't hear it, since vampires don't have to breath at all and can move around without making any noises it was actually totally silly of me, to try. But hey it's a human reaction, right?

So I told myself, what the hell, just try to find some light and see what happen. With that I started to move along the wall, trying to find a light switch. But then I stopped and frowned at myself about the rubbish I just thought. _Light switch? of course Bella...that makes sense, we are how deep underground? ...but um...they have bathrooms too, which is already impossible, or maybe not, maybe this vampire lied and that's another trap. Phew gosh what a misery. _But then I found and felt something as I ran my hand over the wall, it felt like a _button?_ I tried to turn it but nothing happen, then I pressed it and all of a sudden a sea of lights, No, torches around the walls went on, one at the time and after seconds there were at least 30 of them and my jaw dropped at the sight in front of me.

I've never seen such a bathroom in my life before. You couldn't even call it a bathroom, it was more like a spa. The room was square-built and huge, the tiles were golden cream, with ornaments of angels on some of them. To my left was a glass shower, which was big enough for 3 people to stand in, right behind it were two basins with huge arched mirrors and at the middle-wall across from the door was a triangle bathtub the size of a whirlpool. In the center of the room was a small fountain in shape of a tree, water ran out of the leafs into a bigger pool. All the faucets were golden and there were many different shampoos, oils, conditioner, creams and lotions in different fragrances on a shelf next to the tub. In the right corner was a closet with many towels, countless beauty supplies, like make-up, cottons, hair-claps, hairdryer etc. and even clothes in my size. There were pans, shirts, underwear even dresses and shoes. On the left side from the closet was another door and I found a toilet in the same colors as the rest of the bath. _Alright, I'm impressed, no astonished is the better word for that. I can't believe they have electricity down here and water. I really thought the torches were real and somebody lightens them. But to err is human, right? _

After a few moments I smiled and took my shirt and bandages off and saw...nothing? No scratches, no bruises, no nothing, then I looked at my chest and pressed my ribs a little, but there was also nothing. _That's impossible? I was seriously injured and if it really would have been just four days, then I definitely would have scratches and would feel pain, wouldn't I? _

I ran over to the mirror and looked into a totally wide-eyed and shocked Bella. _My face...my my face, there is nothing, nothing at all as if I were never harmed? How is that possible? The only sign of it is the dried blood in my hair, but other than this, I can't explain and understand?.....What did they?.... _With that thought my eyes opened even wider and I was afraid that something else might have happened and I checked my gum line, felt for teeth I hoped wouldn't be there and I sighed in relief as I found non and thought out loud. "But how is that possible if I'm not one of them?" I shook my head and tried to relax as I stepped into the shower and turned the water on. I closed my eyes and held my head directly under the hot, but refreshing water, letting the soap I used wash over my body, the shampoo soften my hair and left the room smell like vanilla.

After what felt like hours I stepped out of the warm shower and dried myself with the towel I put on the counter earlier, then I took everything out of the drawer I needed to brush my hair and teeth. I went over to the closet and looked through the clothes until I found something I'd like to wear. I decided to dress up for hunting, so I chose some scarlet lacy underwear, leather pans, which fit me perfectly as if handmade and a figure-hugging satin v-shaped corsage with short sleeve in the same color as my undies, bound together at the front with black ribbons. I decided to wear black high-heels, so that I have at least a small weapon even if it wouldn't do anything severe, but still I felt kind of better with them. After I was dressed, I braided my hair to one long ponytail, but left some strands hang out around my neck and made my make up before I went back out to the hallway to sneak around.

I passed a lot of doors, different hallways on the left or right side, they all looked the same, the only indication I've had for not walking in circles were the paintings, there were so many of them with different images, some of people- I guessed all vampires, some were still-lifes, some were about countries, cities and even pets and yet others were historically oriented.

I wandered around for quiet a while and didn't see one vampire or heard anything, it was odd and creepy at the same time considering how my heels clacked against the concrete and that the sound echoed through the silence. _Where is everybody, I mean I serve myself here as walking blood-bank and no one is jumping out or attacking or threatening me to eat or something, there is just this feeling of weird coldness behind me, but I don't see anyone? And anyway, what am I looking for? This is like a maze and I don't really dare to open one of the doors, even if I'm totally curious. I should try to find the central hall again and Jason! I hope he is still alive. _

I sighed and dropped my head, prayed that everything will be alright and turned around, using another hallway to find the central hall.

As I walked back and used another way yet again, I felt the coldness increase but didn't turn around, I just moved my eyes from left to right and back again. I was annoyed at the deathly silence which was appalling and I'd rather had a little action, than this totally disturbing nothingness. I was sure I was being followed since I left the bathroom and kept on wondering why that is until I couldn't bear it anymore and I stopped walking. "Alright, so I know somebody is there and I think we played enough now, so show yourself and explain why you act like a chicken!" First there was no sound and I thought I'm getting crazy alright, but then I heard a low grunt and I smiled then spun around.

It was the handsome vampire who brought me the food earlier, he walked up to me and stopped a few feet away just like before as if he was afraid or something, but I couldn't care less and felt much better with distance between me and this thing. He kept obvious a pretty long distance, no wonder I sensed him barely. "What do you want? Why do you follow me? Why do you not just kill me? I hate playing around you know?" He did so much as sighing, frowning and scratched his head. _That is such a human gesture, funny? _I thought _he is not like the others in some weird way, he doesn't seem...dead. _Jasper looked at me before he answered and I had the same feeling as before, that he didn't like to be here. "I followed you because it's insane for a human to wander the hallways all alone, with me going after you, nobody will bother you and I have no desire to kill you." That got my attention. "And why is that?" I asked and didn't quiet believe what he said. "Look, I can't really talk here....there are....to many ears, but I tell you I won't harm you and try to prevent that anybody else does." I frowned at him, not understood why he would care, but didn't bother any further, just asked where the central hall is, he pointed at the same direction I was headed already. I thanked him and turned my back again at him, kept walking and felt he was still behind me but kept distance just like before.

A few minutes later I knew I reached my goal, I could feel new coldness from ahead, but didn't see anybody yet. Just when I walked around the corner I saw two vampires in long cloaks guarded the door again, I guessed it were the same ones as a few day ago. As I came closer, the sense of Jasper faded until the feeling was completely gone. The two guards looked at me, I could tell while both their heads moved in my direction, but their stand didn't change, they were like statues. I shook my head at the sight and said in a sarcastic tone.

"Nice to see you guys again, I'd love to see Aro and hoped you guys tell me he's in there, otherwise I'm gonna be upset, you know it's kind of boring here and feel pity for you, this is very miserable to stay here all day, but well it's you job, right?" I smiled at them, but they didn't do anything else than being dead. "Alright, I know you guys have all eternity, but I don't so either you let me in or I try to open the doors myself which I intended to do in the first place but then I just thought it would be rude to take over and since your job seems to be very important I just couldn't do it." Now they growled at me and the one on the left started talking. "Human, you're either plain stupid or you have a death-wish, the latter I can take care of instantly." I arched one brow at them and crossed my arms over my chest, pretending I didn't care at all and they didn't scare me, which of course they did, because they were like huge and all muscles, so I said. "You know I've heard that very phrase so many times before, it's annoying, are you guys getting a CD of "things to say to a human" or something, if so you need to redo it and just to answer your dumb question...NO...I'm neither stupid nor do I have a death-wish, but I know what I want and nothing can stop me " With that I started to run forward, jumped at the left guard, turned his head around and broke his neck which wouldn't kill him but disable for the moment. And I did all that in less than 5 seconds. I didn't have time to think about it then, because the other guard grabbed me from behind and squeezed, but I reacted as fast as before and kicked him with my heel in his balls, he yelled out and let go, I took my chance, turned around in the blink of an eye and broke his neck as well.

Both man lay on the floor, the guard on the left already started moving and grunting, but hadn't his head in the right and normal position...yet. So I pulled at one door and was glad as I closed it behind me. _Ok, so something is totally wrong with me, I never could move that fast or was that strong, or that stupid. How could I just run at them and try such a stunt? Gosh how mad that was! Stupid, stupid, stupid, but still what am I? What did they do to me? _

When I came out of my thoughts I looked ahead and saw the same vampires, except Jane. Caius was in regular clothes this time as were the others again, his hair was snow white and he really looked like 70, they were sitting in their chairs, each of them held a goblet and I knew they didn't drink wine. It disgusted me and the fact I could smell the blood didn't make it any better.

All heads came up and 8 eyes stared at me before Aro said. "Well isn't that a big surprise, she's finally awake. I wondered already when that will happen and here she is, alive and revived. I really thought we lost you, Jane did her best job in battering you, but luckily we could fix that. Let me tell you, you're gorgeous, totally beautiful, I guess you can be lucky that Jane isn't here, she hates competitions. But tell me how did you get in here? My guards certainly didn't just let you walk in?"

I smirked at him as I thought of the vampires outside the door before I answered. "You know, they are kind of busy right now, they need to get their heads in a straight position and one of them needs a ball-makeover as well." 8 brows arched at my explanation, they looked stunned and amused, then the door behind opened again and one of the guards came in, his head obviously back to normal. He growled and lunged at me, but I somehow sidestepped so fast he fell the steps down, or lets say I thought he would, unfortunately he caught himself midair and jumped back, I anticipated his move and kicked him while still flying in the gut with so much force he flew back and hit the altar. And because I had so much fun the first time around, I ran forward, jumped and broke his neck again, this time I even ripped some of his throat apart. Then I let him fall to the ground, looked down at him and frowned, I was shocked about my strength but also delighted and felt good.

_I so have to figure out how I did that? _

When I finally stepped back to put a little distance between me and the knocked out guard, I looked at the other vampires, I saw that Aro, Caius and Marcus were overly pleased with me. "Well, I guess I have to rethink about my guards, if they are so easily distracted and almost killed, which you could've done with ease, then they are no good for me. I'm more than pleased that I saved you, it was worth it." Aro said in a sarcastic voice and with a smug smile. Then Marcus spoke up for the first time since I've met him, his voice sort of bored. "Oh she most definitely is one incredible human being. She would be perfect for us, so determined and confident, so energetic and full of life. And since I never had the chance, to see how a human reacts to vampire blood, I'm totally impressed about the enhanced abilities she's got now and how fast she cured from her mortal injuries." He gave me a consenting smile and slightly nodded.

_What? Vampire blood? They gave me vampire blood? ....um...um...I mean it makes sense now, everything, my not existing wounds, my super senses in the hallway, otherwise I could've never felt Jasper following me and then the strength and speed....What does that make me? One of them? Oh my gosh that is so indescribable sickening. _I was so angry I felt how my blood literally boiled, my breathing got heavy and I spoke in a furious voice."You are...you are...disgusting monsters, the decision you've made to safe, No, to destroy my life even more, wasn't yours to make. Who do you think you're to just recklessly disregard someones life or death, you....you selfish, arrogant and lousy scare-crows? I'd rather be dead by now, than stay here, in front of you not even supposedly existing things! What am I now? A vampire, human, both?"

They all looked at me with narrowed eyes, they were furious I could see, but so was I and I knew they could feel it.

"As much as I like your temper Bella Swan, you should show some respect, you killed so many of us you should be grateful for what we did and anyway you were about to die that's true but we couldn't let that happen, right? I have a few things I'd like to show and tell you before. After all, I was interrupted while I started to make you an explicit offer and would like to continue with it now! Oh and by the way, don't worry about the vampire blood in your system, it'll last for just a couple days."

Aro said in his polite voice again while he sat back down, his brothers or whatever they were followed him. _Show some respect? Forget it! _I didn't say anything just waited, the guard on the floor came alive and glared at me again, but Caius cut him off and ordered him out. When the door closed Aro decided to continue.

"I hope this time we won't get interrupted! So my number one choice for you was, to become one of us, or number two, I keep you here for the rest of your life as human pet for our vampires, of course I make sure they don't kill you, but other than that, they may do whatever pleases them and trust me when I say, some of them have very fancy ideas. And you don't have all day to decide...either vampire or toy, don't take too long or I make the decision for you!" _Those options are not really inviting, I should just try to kill them here and now! And then what? Bella you wandered already around and couldn't find any exits and there are four of them now, you can't take them our just like that. _

My life just ended here and not in the way I would have preferred, since they decided otherwise as I had the chance. I knew it didn't matter what I would choose, both choices totally sucked and I also knew it didn't matter if I decide now or never, my destiny was sealed anyway. I stared at them, couldn't believe, that, that was it, that after all I've been through, my final end was not due to a fight and mortal injuries, No, but because of two silly choices I couldn't prevent. My tears came running, but I didn't care anymore. I heard Aro smirk, he was right and he knew he won and I said. "You know? Neither of your smashing suggestions are really convincing and I know just like you, that you'll win no matter what I choose. But let me make something very clear to you, to all of you..." my voice sounded so angry that it almost scared even me and I remembered the last time when I had the same harsh voice, it was the day Phil changed me to who I was now and I knew nothing mattered anymore. "...if I decide to become one of you, I'll try to make sure non of you will survive and you will wish you never changed me. If I decide to stay human, I'll promise you, I endure everything you or others have planned and I will fight every single moment until one day, one of your vampires will loose their temper and release me to my very own hell." Aro's eyes narrowed and bored into mine, he obvious considered me. And just for a heartbeat I thought I saw awareness in his eyes before he answered. "I have to say, you're good, you're very good. Of course I have to admit, you're right at some point. When I change you, I can't make hundred percent sure you won't fight against us and considering that you will be very strong in the first few months, even more so through your training and knowledge is something to think about. And I also can't deny that some vampires don't care if they live or die, latter would be their punishment if they kill you but still I would loose you as well, so it's a pretty tricky task.... I'm rather pleased with your courage and see you won't give up even in the worst situation..." He was silent for a moment, glanced over to the other, they nodded and then he looked back at me. "...But I think I might have something that would change your mind a little?"

With that he laughed and looked up to the double doors behind me as I heard them open.

**This chapter is a little shorter than the last, but I thought it was the best break up at the end and leave you guys curious about what will happen next :-)**

**And please give me some reviews, it's more fun when I know how you like my story :-)**


	10. Chapter 10: Living Hell

Chapter 10

Bella's PoV

I didn't turn around immediately, just kept on glaring at the four vampires I wished to kill. Thousand things went through my head. I still haven't quiet given up to find a way.

_Bella there must be some way? That can't be the end? Even if they change me and I can kill as much of them as possible or maybe even non...still, they wouldn't let me go, they would claim me as one of them! But I can't live as a monster, I really don't and I would have to find a way to kill myself? ... funny I think about suicide. _I sighed...

_And if I stay human? Can I really endure all the tortures? I definitely know it won't be pretty, well no torture is pretty right, so that thought was needless and ridiculous. I don't wanna think about what they would do, one is for sure, I'm gonna be their living blood-spender and whore and how long would it take for me to break, to loose my strength, my spirit, my will to survive? And then there is the other question...can I really make them kill me? For what price? And after what time? What am I gonna do? Do I have another choice? There must be something else? Which actually brings me back, what did Aro mean by 'he has something else that would maybe change my mind'?" _With that I remembered the door opened and finally decided to turn around.

Suddenly it was hard to breathe, my lungs felt like they were bind up, my blood rushed from my head down to my feet, my heart felt like being stabbed with a sword. I couldn't stand upright anymore and let myself drop on my knees. _Noooooooooo_

Two vampires I haven't seen before, were standing on top of the staircase, they held Jason by his upper arms. He was undressed down to his boxers which were soaked in blood, his head was lowered so I couldn't see his face. Jason's chest was bruised, cut, sliced, his blood was everywhere, skin hang loose in some places and showed sheer flesh and veins, I guessed they were whip injuries. When I lowered my gaze to his legs, I had to swallow back bile. Jason's legs were both broken, his bones stuck out of his shinbones. I wanted to go closer, I wanted to hug him, I wanted to soothe him, I wanted to see if he's breathing at all, but I couldn't move, I felt numb and nauseated, my body trembled.

Then I heard Aro's voice behind me. "I have to say your friend got some spirit. He lasted long, no other human ever did, he kept on swearing, cursing and threatening what he will do if we would do so much as touch you. He's got a strong will to survive...but even the hardest can be broken in time...I'll tell you something else....I gave him the same two choices you've gotten and he didn't hesitate, No, he made his decision quick... I don't think I need to tell you what he choose, right?.... Take a very good look at him Bella!...If you make the wrong decision....lets just say, your torture won't be as bad as his, after all I don't want you dead, but still it won't be the most pleasant experience!"

The sight of Jason made me anxious, all the courage I had, left me and I was scared. I didn't see an escape or an alternative to what will come. "Is....is...is he dead?" my voice a mere whisper.

"Oh no...at least not yet...his heart's still beating, it's low but it's still a beat and his breath is shallow but other than that, he's still alive, but not for long. I can feel his pain, his thoughts are very open, his mind is not as withdrawn as yours, you know? But let me tell you something else, something that pleases me, after 3 days of torment we had him broken so far, that he ask one question, which I answered with a yes."

All I could do was frown, my head was blank, I just couldn't process what Aro just said and I didn't really care, I just saw Jason, battered and broken, barely alive, my last hope chattered in thousand peaces and I knew my fate as clearly as the view I had of my friend and partner.

Somewhere from behind I heard Demetri laughing, it was intimidating, I've never heard such a cold laugh in my life and it gave me goosebumps. He passed us, walked up to my friend and the two vampires, pulling Jason's head back and put one hand behind his neck, the other went around his waist. They looked like lovers. Demetri shifted Jason's head to the left and before I knew what was coming he sank his fangs deep in his neck.

"No you monsters, Noooooooo." I screamed with the top of my lungs. I could see how Demetri's pale throat worked over and over again as he drank and drained Jason, my vision blurred from my tears, I had a flashback of the same situation almost two years ago. I saw it all over again, my mom and Phil.

Jason stiffened in Demetri's grip, but whether because of pain or reflex, I couldn't tell.

"He's not gonna die my lovely Bella, Demetri is changing him right now." Aro said from behind. I didn't know what to do and didn't think, but I somehow managed to get up and just ran over to Jason and tried to pull Demetri away from him, I punched him over and over again in his back, but he didn't even flinch. After a few more seconds he stopped drinking and turned around, his eyes were pitch black his smile satisfied, I stopped hitting him as I saw Jason, his head dropped backwards, he was as pale-gray as the death can be, my emotion totally overwhelmed me with sadness, hopelessness and helplessness.

I just stood there and kept watching how Demetri took his knife and cut deep into Jason's chest, I was surprised that he still had blood in him as it dropped down his body, then Demetri cut across his own palm and pressed it against the gashing wound. Seconds or maybe even minutes later he pulled away, smirked at me and left.

I stand inches away from my friend, I couldn't help it but put my arms around him while the two vampires still held him, I didn't care about the blood and that it smeared me completely. I laid my face against his chest and hugged him. He didn't move, didn't say anything, did nothing. I pulled back, so that I could see his face again, with trembling hands I touched both his cheeks, holding his head up and tried to look him in the eyes, but they were closed. His face didn't look any better than the rest of him, I cried so much now, that I had to blink my tears away to clear my vision.

"Jason, Jason, can you hear me? Please say something...Pleaaaaase."

My legs got numb again and I couldn't hold myself anymore, my hands slipped slowly over his shoulders and chest until I sank to my knees again. Some of the vampires said something, but I didn't hear a word, I just recognized that they carried Jason to the altar as I followed every motion while I couldn't do more than crawling to turn around. They positioned him with his back flat on top of the cold stone and chained his wrists and ankles.

"How can you do this to him now, he's barely alive, why would you chain him, it's not like he can fight or something?" I screamed sobbing and weeping while I crawled forward like a baby that couldn't walk to get closer to Jason.

Markus looked at me, he still got this totally bored expression. "Obviously you have no idea, what will happen during the change? Which surprises me, after all, you knew so much about us, I thought that would be a part of it. But anyway, I'm going to tell you what will happen. But first, if we bite and drink from a human, it doesn't make him to one of us. The vampires you killed, they were mostly just sating the thirst and having fun. But if we decide to do a change, we have to drain the body except for a few drops, then, just like you witnessed, we have to draw this last and fresh blood out of the body, it doesn't matter how, but a knife is the easiest way of course, then we have to do the same ourselves and due to the exchange of our blood with that of the human will do the trick. The venom is in our bloodsystem, which basically numbs the whole body first, then all the organs we don't need to survive will die, which includes the heart of course, it's actually the last living part that will stop working . During that process the pain the venom causes is excruciating and almost unbearable, it's like burning from the inside out. The breathing will stop mostly after two days which is another factor, it will make the whole change to the undead more intensive because as human you live due to oxygen and it is an automatic reflex to keep breathing. A vampire doesn't need it anymore and after the change the body and the person will realize that instantly, but before that it's hard, it's impossible to concentrate and many changelings get insane and try to kill themselves. Therefore we protect them while we restrain them."

Now I felt even worse, I don't want my friend going through that, I don't want him to become one of them, what can I do? How can I stop what's happening right now? I tried to get up but didn't have the strength to do so. Instead I watched Aro, Caius and Marcus sat back down as if nothing had happened, the other two vampires left the room. Their plain reaction left me staring at the four men in disbelief, shock and pure agony.

_How, how can they be so cruel? So heartless? So unbelievable careless? Everything is lost, I can't, I can't fight anymore, I live in a fucking hell. _

" Do you care about anything at all, but for yourselves?" I said glancing at my friend. " You took everything from me, you are the ones, responsible for the hell I lived in these past 2 years, you killed people I loved, you destroyed my whole life already and now....you taking the last part what is left of it away from me as well..... why? Please tell me why?" I didn't look up, my head seemed to drop whenever I tried my breathing was shallow, so I starred on the ground but nowhere in particular, before I heard Caius speak.

"If I would have a still beating heart, it would brake at the sight you give me. Did nobody ever tell you, that life ain't easy? Everybody gets what he deserves. You chose your own path Bella. Don't blame others for the mistakes you've made. You see it's quiet easy actually, if you wouldn't have started to hunt us down, then I guess we wouldn't have met eventually... or it is your destiny after all my lovely Bella. But you know what? You have all your life to figure that out."

My eyes burned from all the tears, my emotions overwhelmed me, I never felt so much agony and anger at the same time. "I didn't know that I have so much hatred in me, or that it's even possible to feel the way I feel right now. Since you took everything from me, I can't care less, what you do with me, but I don't stay here any longer and watch my friend die!"

With that I gathered all my strength I had left and pushed myself up to leave the hall, not caring at all what will happen to me.

Nobody stopped me as I left, the doors opened, the guards were both grunting as I came out and passed by, but didn't do much more.

I walked pointless through the hallways for hours, trying to find my room they put me in, but every door looked the same, I didn't pay much attention to the paintings next to my room when I left the bath.

Mentally I screamed.

_Where are you? Where the hell are you damn bloodsuckers? I want you to jump out of your coffins and just release me from this freaking nightmare. Jaaaaaaasoooooooon! I don't wanna live like this, everything is over, my life is over, I can't, I reached my end, I don't have anything left what's worth to live for. God what happened with you Bella Swan? How did all that happen, why me? Why could this fucking son of a bitch of a scare-crow not find somebody else than my mom. All these past months, seeking, learning, observing and getting injured, it was all for nothing. Never a sign of Phil. Never, it was all worthless and wasted time. I should have gone to my dad....oh No... __**dad....**__ I never gonna see you again, I'm so so very sorry, I can't even tell you the truth anymore, I would love to see you one last time, just one more time. I can't believe I just left him like I did and never talked to him myself, because I was a coward and was afraid that he might say something what would hurt me. And now, I never gonna see him ever again. Daaaaaaaaaaaad! _

At that moment I was more than just desperate and didn't see any sense anymore, I let myself fall to the ground, sat back against the stonewall, pulled my knees up and dropped my forehead. My eyes were closed but tears rolled down my cheeks and I rocked back and forth.

From the distance I heard giggles and a childlike voice coming closer. "Oh poor girl, look at you, all miserable and ready to die. It's really heartbreaking, but I understand perfectly you know?"

When I felt a cold aura right in front of me, I looked up, my eyes followed the midnight blue satin dress from it's hem to top until I saw it belonged to Jane. I sighed, she was the last dead person I wanted to see right now unless she's going to kill me. "What do you want bitch?"

One of her eyebrows lifted and she smiled. "If you try to provoke me Bella, it won't work in the slightest. I don't end your life for you, nobody will, trust me on that, ok I eventually did that already but they decided to let you live which made me really furious by the way. But when I saw how miserable and pathetic you are, I was actually thankful, because it is so.... superb to see you hurting, just the way I did when I found out about Alec. This life here will be your living hell and I'll enjoy every single moment you suffer, but of course it doesn't mean I can't play a little, since you're all strong and healthy again. How about a little cat-fight? It was so much fun the last time around, don't you think?" Jane laughed, her childlike voice all evil.

I don't know why but she really pissed me off, right from the beginning, I hated her and she annoyed me to no end. My grudge and despair gave me a sudden powerboost of strength and I got up, stood nose to nose with her in the hallway. Eventually I heard some doors open but didn't dare to check who or what it was, I trusted this bitch so little, that I kept my eyes focused on her. Even I could feel the dangerous aura around us, the hatred and wrath we held for each other was so big, that it felt like floating energy.

"You know bitch, it's amazing how easy it is to hate your guts. Every time I see you, I feel like I have to scratch that smirk out of your pretty face. So bring it on!"

But just before I said it, I punched already and hit her right in the middle of her face, heard bones crack, that left me smile this time. Jane touched her nose and started screaming. "You bitch, you broke my damn nose and look at my dress, all that blood, it was new, for that you'll pay!"

She lunged for my neck but I was faster, ducked and kicked her legs out under her. Jane hit the floor and I jumped on top of her. "You know for a vampire you're a really bad fighter, every child could take you out in seconds. It's obvious that you just look pretty but other than that...well, there is nothing else."

I bashed her in the face again as hard as I could and heard my own knuckles crack. I ignored the pain and kept hitting her, all my frustration about my fucked up life came out. Her lips split and blood spattered, I knew she could easily push me off or knock me out, after all she got vampire strength, but she just tried to protect her face as good as possible, I thought what a princess, afraid of her beauty or what? I punched and punched until she dug her nails into my upper arms and scraped down to my wrist. I was so mesmerized through my anger that I didn't even notice it, just kept hitting her over and over again, broke her nose even more, her blood spat all over us. I guess she finally had enough and threw me backwards into the wall.

When Jane jumped up and lunged at me again, somebody grabbed her from behind and pulled her away. It happened so fast I didn't recognize Jasper immediately, he held Jane with ease, even while she screamed and kicked him and tried to get loose, but there was no way for her.

That was also the first time I realized what she did to my arms and swore to myself. _That are going to be some ugly scars. _I saw Jasper smile from behind her. _How weird he seemed to be pleased with the fact I battered her. _I couldn't help but smile back at him. Jane of course didn't saw that Jasper grinned, she grunted and snorted.

"Human, you should be glad that somebody came to save you, because you gonna pay sooner or later, trust me on that." I arched one brow at her and was annoyed that her injuries already started to heal. "Vampire, you should be glad that you're dead and heal fast, because otherwise that would've hurt like hell and wouldn't look pretty for weeks."

Jane growled one last time at me and tried to get out of Jaspers grip, but he held on tight. "You were lucky today, Bella, belive me!....Jasper let me go!" she ordered in a harsh voice. "We definitely have to talk about this later, I know you like humans, even respect them, but you should realize that those times are over." With that he eased his grip and let Jane leave.

I sighed and shook my head, watched her walk away and sank back to the floor, not out of sudden weakness, but out of realization that it doesn't matter what I do or say, Jane was right, there is no chance for me to escape.

"Bella, hey listen to me." I heard Jasper say eventually and glanced over at him. "Common I bring you back to your room, you don't look your best right now, I feel your agony and pain. You need to relax and calm down." that got me out of my absent-minded mood and I sprang up, totally aghast.

"You got to be kidding me, right? You telling me to calm down? It is easy for you to say of course. Your best friend isn't dying right now and will suffer like hell, because your so called masters found it might be funny to change him into a bloodsucking monster... or... you aren't forced to be here and held as prisoner who got two choices, either to become a monster as well or be the human pet....or just the fact, not even to know what day it is, or if it's dark or light outside, because you guys have to live in a fucking grave makes the whole thing just peachy for me. But I forgot who am I talking to, I'm sorry, you're one of them, it was dump of me to expect that you might understand what I'm going through... I don't even know why I tell you any of this at all, I hate you, all of you, so leave me alone!"

With that I stumped away, not knowing where to go, I just knew I have to hit or brake something, otherwise I might gonna loose it.

Jasper followed me, eventually said left or right path from time to time, to guide the way. I never looked back at him just turned as he said it until he finally said stop and I was standing in front of a big brown door with a paper and my name on it. I frowned and took a glance at Jasper, he nodded at me. "I didn't have anything else I could've put there, so I just thought a paper would be enough to show you that this is your room." I didn't respond just opened the door and he added. "Um...Bella, I know it possible doesn't mean anything to you, but I am really sorry for you and understand perfectly well what you said in the hallway. Because I don't wanna be here either, we're not as different as you think we are." When I looked at him, Jasper was already gone and I sighed, closed the door behind me and went over to my bed and lied down.

_What is that suppose to mean? Ok I know what it means, but why? Why would he not want to be here? After all I was right with my assumption right from the beginning. He is different, but how and again, Why?_

I stared at the ceiling, not thinking, not brooding, just watched until my eyes got heavy and my lids closed. I dived into a deep sleep, far away from the horror that surrounded my real world.... but just so as to escape into another nightmare from my past.

_When I opened my eyes, it was pitch black, I blinked several times, tried to clear my vision, but still, I couldn't see at all. And as if that wasn't bad enough already, it was ice cold and smelled of mold, death and blood. The air was sticky and muggy, I could feel the moisture on my skin, the only sound came from dropping water in the background and my own quickened heartbeat. I stretched my arms out sideways and then for- and backwards to see if there is a wall or anything else, but there wasn't. From my feet up to my knees I stood in something wet and hoped it was just water. I shivered, was frightened and nervous, but tried to take one step forward, the ground was uneven and my foot sank a little as I set it down again. The penetrating smell left me choking and I tried to breathe through my mouth, which didn't make it any better, rather worse, due to the damp and wet air, I could literally taste the odors. _

_From the distance I could hear giggles, they echoed through the darkness while I walked forward and wrapped my arms around my body, that was when I realized I was naked. My feet dabbled in the water and splashed up to my thighs, leaving me shaking with cold. Occasionally, there was something hard under my feet, that pricked and then got soft and muddy again until I stumbled and fell with my whole body into the liquid. _

_Before I pushed myself up on my hands, I felt along the ground and froze. I wasn't hundred percent sure, but it still felt like bodies, I touched faces and hands or feet and hair._

_My body trembled even worse and my breath shortened, it was sheer horror. I cried for help over and over again, but nothing happened, just the giggles which seemed to come closer as I kept walking. Then finally somewhere ahead was a weak yellow light, it was as small as a glowworm, but I was sure it was there. I cried again for help, first it was quiet and I sighed, but then there was a male voice. "Don't be scared, come closer, you're almost here." I was so cold already, that I couldn't think straight anymore, my teeth clenched together and I got tired. I stopped for a moment and closed my eyes, tried to get myself under control. _

_The giggles got louder all of a sudden, it was almost unbearable for my ears, they seemed to be all around me, they weren't happy giggles, rather mean and terrifying. I pressed my hands against my ears to silence the ghastly sound, but it didn't seem to help at all, No, it got worse and my head felt like it's going to explode. I started screaming until something...coming from the ground, grabbed and touched my legs. I stopped short, opened my eyes and looked down instantly. _

_Suddenly there was bright light everywhere, I had to blink to adjust my eyes before I saw what pulled me down. My body stiffened and my blood froze, I was in a tunnel, the liquid wasn't water at all, but blood from the hundreds of dead naked bodies that surrounded me. My body was completely bloodied and the thing that clutched at me, was... my mom, her eyes gleamed bright red, her fangs lengthened as she dug her nails in my legs, drew fresh blood and tried to pull me down. Her legs were missing as were the ones from all the other bodies around me. I cried again and tried to shake my mom off me while I tried to run over those dead people. But my mom's grip was to strong and she bit down into my calf. I screamed from the top of my lungs and fell to the ground. I grabbed on arms, heads, everything I could get a hold of and tried to pull me forward and away, but there was no chance due to the slippery blood. With every move I took, she seemed to bite even deeper right through my calf. _

_My throat burning screeches echoed along the tunnel, left me heavily breathing and strength weakening. I squeezed my eyes shut, tried to calm down, but that wasn't an option as new arms wrapped around my body and picked me up in bridal style. I felt the pounding in my leg ease, put the dizziness increase. "I got you darling" said the person who held me and I knew just from those four words who it was and shivered even more before I opened my eyes, just to confirm I was right, it was Phil. I hit him wherever my fists reached his body, but he didn't flinch, because my blows were as weak as a child. He laughed and carried me to a 10 by 10 feet big white nuthouse cell. The walls were strewn with mold and blood. In the center stood a metal gurney with shackles on each side, he laid me on top of the cold thing and chained my wrists next to my head, my heart was racing with fear and I almost forgot about the pain and my leg. As I finally looked down I gasped, my left calf hang mostly on bone, tendons and muscles, it was totally eroded. I leaned my head back and preyed for mercy and that my life would end soon. _

_Phil didn't bother to chain my still functioned leg or that I was all bloodied and smelled of death, No, he didn't care at all, instead he undressed himself and touched me just as he did the first time, pulled me forward, spread my legs apart, so that they dangled on each side over the edge and gave him an easy entrance. He stood right in front, his fingers slid all over me, he licked my breast, played with my nipples, moaned and growled as he swallowed the blood, then he sang his fangs deep into my breast and drank while his fingers thrust into me. I screamed tried to move, but I was incapacitated as he spread my legs even farther and overstretched them until it hurt. When he finally pulled his head away, he'd taken so much blood already, that I felt dizzy and my eyelids kept on falling. "Oh no darling you do not go yet, not before I'm finish with you." I felt his erection at my entrance and I screamed again "No, no, no" I moved my hips as much as I could to keep him from entering, but he dug his hands deeper into my hips, until I heard something crack. Then there was the final penetrating pain and I screamed and screeched, shook and trembled._

I jumped up in bed still screaming, completely wet, dripping with perspiration, my breathing was heavy. When I finally realized it was just another nightmare, one of the most horrible I ever had, I pressed my palms against my forehead and cried.

I kept on telling myself, it can't go on like this, something needs to be done, I can't live like this anymore, so I went into the bathroom.

I took my clothes off and stared in the mirror, my eyes were red and swollen, tears still running down my cheeks. My gaze moved to my arms and I saw that the scratches Jane inflicted were almost gone, which meant I still head some of the vampire blood in me. I yelled out in self-disgust and smashed several times with my fists into the mirror until blood spattered the wall in front of me and my hands hurt. I sank down to the floor, sat on my knees and cried, shards were every where around me. I looked at my hands and started to pull the stuck splinters out. Each broken glass fragment I picked, made me somehow feel good. It stung like hell of course, but still the pain was relieving and I felt a sudden liking to see my own blood dripping out of my skin.

_Oh gosh, I like to see my own blood? That is crazy, right? ….Just another side-effect of the vampire blood, why else would I like to see blood all of a sudden? Of course they didn't tell me that. Now I'm more like one of them as I ever wanted to be....but still it makes me feel good, the pain feels good. Maybe....? _

My gaze moved over to a bigger glass peace which lay on the floor, I picked it up with my right hand and squeezed as hard as I could, the razor sharp edges sliced into my palm until I felt the warm liquid, I turned my hand, so that I could follow the movement of the blood as it sidled its way down to my wrist. I opened my clenched grip slowly, took a deep breath as the pain eased.

Somehow I didn't want to let go of the feeling, so I took the glass splinter in my fingers and led the tip to my left wrist. I held still for a moment, didn't move at all, just breathed and glared at my arm. But after all I cut a deep horizontal line across my wrist.

First there was this stinging pain as the blood ran out of my skin while I sliced, then it started to pound and there was this nice comfortable warm feeling around the spot until it slowly faded away.

I wondered if other people felt the same when they did that and couldn't stop myself from cutting again. After the sixth time I felt as satisfied and good as I didn't in month, suddenly there weren't any problems or misery and I felt sort of alive again, my mind was blank and I just wanted to take a bath.

The warm water and the lavender smell of the bath soap relaxed me even more, the cuts were burning here and there but it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. I let myself float and closed my eyes as I touched the slash wounds and felt small bums appear on my skin which made me smile with happiness.

I was so absent-minded, that I didn't hear the door open, just felt the sudden grip around my throat, that pulled me out of the tub. I tried to struggle and pulled on Demetri's arms but he was to strong. I couldn't breathe, started to panic and just as my body fought for air, he let go and dropped me to the floor. I coughed and held my throat as I tried to get some oxygen back into my burning lungs.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, what did you do? I hope the broken glass doesn't mean you tried to kill yourself, that would be horrible. Because you know, you've been told and it was an order for everybody who lives here, that you are suppose to be kept alive no matter what, which also means, that you aren't suppose to kill yourself. And it just looks like you disobeyed, which is a very, very bad thing to do."

His voice was evil and sarcastic and my happy mood was gone, I was frightened now. "It's non of your business.... but anyway, don't you know it is rude to stroll into a womens bathroom without knocking?" He smirked at my gasps. "Oh well, in that case, I think I should apologize to you for the invasion and just leave you alone, would that meet your wish?"

"What do you want from me Demetri? Are you one of the vampires who came to torture me now, since I didn't decide which hell I'd find better to live in?" I stood up, got a towel and dried myself, then walked over to the closet, took jeans and a long sweater to put on.

"As much as I like to be the first one, but No, not today. Instead I'm here to pick you up." I frowned at him, walked back to the basin to get a scrunchie. When I opened the drawer, one of the glass splinter lay on top, I turned so that Demetri couldn't see what I was about to do, I picked the 6 inch piece up and hid it in my sleeve, then pulled my hair up into a messy bun while I kept as much distance as possible between us. "Pick me up for w......?"

Demetri was on me and threw me over his shoulder in a heartbeat. His grip was to tight around my thighs, I struggled and shoved, but he just held on tighter. I punched him with my fists in the back and yelled, he should let me down. But of course he didn't, he actually dared to laugh and told me how fragile and weak I was and that he can't understand how I could possibly have killed so many vampires as he walked along the hallway.

Slowly I let the shard slip out of my sleeve until I held it in a good grip. _I hope you'll enjoy this vampire. _I kept on struggling for distraction, before I jabbed him with full force and clenched fingers into his back right were his heart was suppose to be. The sharb edges bored into my already injured palm from the glass before and I shed blood anew , I welcomed the pain as he screamed out, stumbled and dropped forward on his knees, letting me fall backwards.

I knew I didn't kill him, the shard was to short and not silver-wooden, but still, I reached his heart and scraped it. I stood up, backed away a little and looked down into Demetri's eyes. His face was all tense and I could see he was in pain. "Oh I'm so sorry, I thought I saw something crawling on the floor, I must've totally forgotten how to throw." I moved around him and grabbed the glass and pushed it even farther, he yelled out started choking, wincing and spat blood. "I want you to get up, now! And then we walk together to see your friends. I know you won't die but still it hurts like hell and I make sure the wound won't close" I turned the shard a little and he growled, trying to get up, I actually pulled him up and we walked together.

"For that you'll die." He said gasping, tried to grap behind and get my arm. In anticipation I moved the glass again, pullled it upward this time and he yelled out again, which delighted me to no end and left me grinning.

"I told you already not to try anything, because I really enjoy hurting you right now and just to show you that I'm serious..." I pulled, then pushed into his back again, he stiffened, his blood soaked my shirt and smeared my arms. "See? And don't tell me later that I didn't tell you in the first place, oh and by the way, I don't know how you can be one of the strongest vampires who obviously live here, because right now your're as fragile and weak as you've said I am, you silly douchebag."

_Oh Bella what did you do? For that I'm gonna pay a lot later on. But hey I'm a slow learner, right? And until it's day of reckoning, I might as well enjoy myself. _

We moved slowly, I pushed and urged Demetri forward until we reached my lovely guards again, who ran in our direction. I stopped and told my captive to hold them back or I find the urgent need to move my hand again.

Nothing was said out loud, so I guessed they communicated mentally wich each other, because they stepped back and opened the doors.

" Ah, my best friends, how are you guys, why are you always wear those ugly cloaks, I can't see you certainly ugly nuts... you call them heads I think, oh and thanks for opening the doors, this guy here is kind of rigid." Just because of the fun of it and knowing it would be over soon, I turned my hand again and he grunted. I laughed out loud and kept walking. The stairs were even funnier, with every step he took, my hand suddenly moved in different directions and he snarled and coughed more blood.

_Sorry guys, it took me so long, but I really didn't have much time. But anyway I hope you like it though._

_Please give me some reviews. :-) _


	11. Chapter 11: Transformation

**So here is my new chapter, it took me a while, because I wasn't really motivated.**

**I didn't get any new reviews at all last week, common 6 reviews for 10 chapters, that's more than sad. And don't tell me you guys don't have time. After all you read it nonetheless and to write one tiny review takes maybe two minutes right?**

**So pleaaaaaaaaaase give me some opinions. I'm glad for everything, bad, good, all of it.**

**But thanks to all the people who added my story to their favorites and story alerts though. That always makes me happy. **

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Bella's PoV

Besides Demetri, I and Jason who was still chained to the altar, the central hall was totally deserted. I frowned and looked around just to make sure that non of the bloodsuckers were hidden in the corners. Wary what to do next, whether to leave or to look after my friend, I pushed my captive forward.

The blow had so much force that I almost stumbled while I tried not loose my grip on the glass which would have been bad for me of course. Luckily I caught myself in time, but not before I sliced even deeper into my own flesh. I bit my tongue not to cry out as my blood gushed out of the wound. It stung and ached like hell, tears started to built but I refused to let them go.

Instead I glanced over to Jason. I arched my eyebrows in surprise. The injuries were almost healed, his legs seemed as though they've never been broken, his cuts and slices were closed, his skin was pale now not gray anymore. If I wouldn't have known he is changing, I would have thought he looked peaceful and happy besides the restraints and his dried blood.

I closed my eyes for a moment and inhaled the air that held the smell of metal from all the shed blood who knows how long ago and death.

"As soon as you let go of that glass I'll ripp your throat out myself my lovely girl. That was the stupidest thing you could have done." Demetri still gasped but his voice was all evil though and I knew I wouldn't have a chance. He was right, I didn't even know why I did it, it was sheer reflex and so tempting, I acted stubborn without thinking and should've known better, after all he is just incapacitated for the moment and hurt, but it won't kill him and if I don't keep turning the splinter occasionally, the wound would close within minutes. So you could say I was in deep shit, but wasn't that actually exactly what I wanted? My hand ached more than ever and every motion send stinging, searing pain through my whole right side and I winced every single time.

"If you do that, I mean ripping my throat out or something like that, you actually do me a big favor. I think being dead is thousand times better than living here with a lot of undead people, so don't waste your breath." I think he smirked or at least tried to, but it sounded more like a grunt. " But anyway, where is everybody? Since you were so excited and strolled into my bathroom and couldn't shut your mouth about the great party I really don't wanna attend, where are all the others?"

"Oh that...let just say, the "party" starts shortly, it's been twelve hours now and..." he couldn't finish his sentence, because Jason started screaming so loud that I winced and tried to hide behind Demetri's back, even that I knew it wouldn't do any good. But it was too ear-piercing and sent tremors through my body. AlthoughI peeked around Demetri's body and saw Jason pulled at his bonds, moved uncontrollable from left to right. His cries were full of pain and suffering. He arched his back while trying to pull himself up with his feet, then slumped down, shook his head, trembled, all at the same time. He tried to escape from the torture within, from burning alive inside, from the searing pain the venom causes, from losing his mind and become insane and from the last spirit that kept him human and from dying altogether.

The sight of him left me shaking, it was dreadful, I felt guilty and ashamed of myself, that I couldn't do more than just stay there and watch how my friend slowly but surely died.

The one friend, who gave me an almost life back, who cared about me in every possible way, who fought with me, who knew everything about me, who was just there for me when I needed help the most. It broke my heart in thousand pieces, I literally felt a stabbing pain in my chest, I couldn't breathe and my legs were weak.

I had to let go of him, here and now, I had to say goodbye, I had to except that this would be the last time I would see Jason as the one person who has been my father substitute, my trainer, my friend , the only person who truly knew what was going on and who once vowed revenge to all the vampires who live, just as I did. But in the end he'll become one himself.

I was so mesmerized of Jason, I couldn't move my eyes away. My head was blank and dull, not thinking I let go off Demetri and walked towards my dying friend as if drawn to him.

With every scream, motion and gasp for breath he took, I suffered with him. By the time I stood mere inches away, I trembled so hard, I had to take a hold of the altar. I clenched my finger on the edge and tried to remember how to breathe which seemed to be as hard as standing upright. But I kept my focus on Jason's face and let my tears come, tried to speak, but couldn't.

_I...I'm so sorry, I let you down, I failed, I couldn't save you. Please tell me how I can make your pain go away? Please don't leave me, I can't live without you, you're the most important person in my life. What can I do, please, please, please tell me. I feel like everything is my fault, maybe if I would have made a decision, maybe you would still be my Jason. Oh god I'm so sorry. _

_Will you even remember me? Will you even know what you did and who you really are? Will you attack me? I can't see you like this, I dont't wanna see you like this."_

I broke apart and dropped my head on Jasons chest while I sobbed for dear life. He was so cold, didn't stop shaking, it seemed he didn't even notice me. I touched his face, tried to calm him down and stroked through his hair, but nothing helped. Then I grabbed his chains, tried to free him and realized for the first time he tugged so violently on them, that his wrist and ankles were bloody and sore. I started crying out loud and pulled with both hands on one of his restraints. "I'll help you, I try to free you but please stop screaming, I can't hear it anymore, pleaaaaaaaaaase." I more than screemed the last part which made the echoes drumming through the hall, but kept on pulling. Unfortunately it didn't matter how much strength I used, the metal didn't gave way not an inch.

Jason's roars seemed to become even more piercing if that was possible and I had to press my palms against my ears and squeezed my eyes shut. I sank to my knees and rocked back and forth as I tried to silence the intensity of the screaming waves.

Then somebody threw me across the hall, it must have happened so fast, I didn't even sensed that I got picked up from the floor. First I hit the wall with my back which knocked my last breath out of me and then fell face-down to the ground like a stone and my chin split open on the cold concrete. Blood sprayed and pain exploded.

While I was hurting, I tried to get air in my lungs as I coughed and gasped. My back was throbbing and felt like something stil pressed down on it. I lay still, just took slow, short breaths before I pushed myself up on my hands and knees. My whole body trembled at the attempt to get up, my muscles ached. My concentration was only focused on my own pain at that moment, I even managed to tune out all the sounds surrounding me.

_Fuck, that hurts. _I tried to stand up._ Ouch, damn, not a good idea. I guess Demetri cured already, that didn't take long, asshole. I guess that's it for me now. Maybe I should be thankful._

In a flash somebody grabbed my arm tight and yanked me upright. I yelled out at the suprisingly sudden movement. My head obviously thought the same as everything started to swim and had to close my eyes.

"That seemed the least I could do, or had to do. It's not nice to stab someone from behind and as much as I would love to feed from you and fuck you while I sedate my thirst, I can't do that....yet. First things first." It was really Demetri who wasn't only healed but upset and angry assuming his tone. He dragged me across the hall, to the chairs, so fast I stumbled several times which made him even more furious and he held on tighter, left my arm bruising.

I thought he wanted to sit down, but instead he took one of the throne like chairs with his free hand and carried it to the altar as if it doesn't weigh more than a plastic one. He set the chair down two feet away from Jason and pushed me into the seat, sending pain through my spine anew. Then in a blurr he left me and came back, to fast for me to react at all. Demetri shackled my wrists to each armrest with black robes and my ankles to the chairlegs.

Once he was done he left the hall, didn't look back or said anything, just closed the doors behind him. I glanced back at my friend and once again as if somebody had pulled the invisible plugs out of my ears, I heard his suffering screams which echoed through the room. It was like sound waves in different levels that rang in my ears. I wanted to press them shut again and pulled at the robes, but of course I could have also just sit and do nothing.

He still fought against the torment within his body, he still pulled at the chains which kept him trapped and supposedly secure. His wrists were raw now and blood smeared the stone beneath his body and himself. Usually they would heal fast, just as the other injuries did already, but since he's still tugging and yanking, it keeps the wounds open.

But I squeezed my eyes shut, pressed my ear against my shoulder one at the time, trying to silence the ear-piercing shrieks in every possible way. I even tried to move my chair, which was impossible, it was too heavy and I didn't even think I could have moved it if I wasn't chained. But there was nothing I could do, I had to endure it. Now and then I tried to calm Jason while I talked to him, but it was worthless, there was no reaction, just waisted time.

After who knows how many hours I had a hammer pounding headache, swollen eyes from all the crying and my mind was so blank to the point where I couldn't hear a thing anymore, or it could've been Jason stopped screaming as well, I couldn't really tell. My muscles ached, my spine throbbed, my hand I held the glass with burned and stung, it was ice cold and I was freezing... hell my whole body was tingling and not just because of me hitting the wall earlier, but also because of me sitting in that damn chair for hours and moved back and forth to escape the sound.

I was tired, hungry, thirsty and wanted a shower or better a bath and a bed. But of course I didn't get any of these things, since there was still no one there I could tell, ok even if there would have been somebody, I think they wouldn't have given me any of my desires.

Eventually I lowered my head and fell asleep, I was glad it was a dreamless one.

I woke up as somebody slapped my face. The headache was still pounding when I opened my eyes, I sighed and breathed deeply. "Bitch this is not a hotel, therefore you're not allowed to sleep, get up....oh right I forgot you can't, but I'll help you with that." Then Jane took a knife and cut the robes, but not before she sliced my skin first. I welcomed the pain, it distracted me from the throbbing in my head. I felt to weak to speak, nor could I get up from the chair, I just stared at her and she smiled down at me with a smug grin in her face. Behind her stood Jasper, he had pitch black eyes and looked furious, he was quiet frightening and I hoped it wasn't because of me, no matter how gorgeous and nice he seemed, he still was huge and looked dangerous alltogether and I would never dare to provoke him or make him angry.

" Take her to her room and bring her back in a couple hours when it's time for the changeling to awake finally." Jasper hesitated for a moment but came closer and grabbed my arm and pulled me through the hallway as if in a big hurry, not talking or looking at me. As we reached my door he stepped back several feet from me before he said. "I'm going to pick you up later on, be ready." Then he turned and left. I frowned at this sudden change and thought he is not better as all the others after all, just a mean big bastard.

I stood in front of my room and sighed, shook my head as I saw the paper Jasper pinned on earlier, then strode into the bathroom.

Everything was cleaned up, there weren't any glass splinter anymore, no blood, even the broken mirror was replaced. _Do they have housekeepers or what? Weird!_

I grunted and went over to the tub, turned the hot water on and got some of the lavender bathsoap. While I waited for my bath I walked over to the mirrors. Gosh I looked bad, I was pale as never before, my eyes had dark shadows under them and they were red rimmed. My split chin had some blue colors around it and burned. I looked exhausted and older than me being 17. I streched myself to get some of the tension out of my back, eventually heard some light cracks here and there in my spine.

Then I stripped, my stomach rumbled and my throat felt dry. I needed something to eat soon and a drink rather sooner than later. I felt lightheaded and the typical sickness when people haven't eaten in a while and they were starved. Maybe that was also the reason for my headache after all.

I stepped into the warm water and sighed in relief as I leaned back. The tension I felt seemed to leave completely. I closed my eyes and tried to relax which was near to impossible. I couldn't really keep my mind from the things I've seen and experienced today and what will happen next.

_How will it be? How will I react, what will I do? He isn't human anymore, he is a bloodsucker. Can I hate him after all? Can I still see him as friend? What will he do? I hope he will remember me. Gosh I really do. And what do they want after he's awake? How much more can I endure? For the first time in my life I understand what it means to be psychically tortured._

I felt my tears running and decided to get ready. I shampoed my hair and shaved my legs and armpits which made me more comfortable as I stroked over my soft skin. After I brushed my teeth and braided my curls to one thick tail, I got brown lacy underwear, light blue jeans and a brown baby doll shirt with ¾ sleeves.

When I walked back to let the water out, I glanced over to the razor and thought how good it felt, then at my left wrist. I stroked over the bumps and the red remaining cuts I self-inflicted. A feeling of hesitation, want, disbelief and curiosity flowed through me. Eventually I picked the razor up and broke two of the three blades apart, then walked to the basin and turned the cold water on. Wary how much strength I should use I sliced slightly one horizontal line into my right wrist this time.

It wasn't deep enough I thought, so I did cut again, right next to the first line, with more pressure. It stung and burned while I sliced, I enjoyed the feeling, even closed my eyes as I did it. And just like the first time a sense of happiness streamed through me and I forgot the other painful things that invaded my life lately. I opened my eyes again, followed the sliding blood down my wrist before I pressed my arm a little and forced more blood out of my skin.

I liked it so much that I had to cut again and every time a bit deeper and deeper until the stinging, throbbing pain was satisfying enough and I finally put my arm under the cold water. It tingled as the blood washed slowly away until there were just bumps left. I stared at both my wrists and thought how this really small thing as cutting, can make a person so calm.

Pleased with myself I walked into my bedroom, just to find a whole tray with food, water and juice on the nightstand. My stomach rumbled again at the sight and I was even happier as I drank and ate. Once I was stuffed and sedated, I put some of the crackers and water aside, for later, just in case they decided to starve me again. Not really knowing what to do, I laid down in my bed and closed my eyes, even fell asleep, again without nightmares.

A knock on the door woke me up, I growled but opened anyway. Jasper stood there, his features friendlier than hours before and his eyes were golden brown again. He smiled at me and said we have to go. I arched my brow and wondered why he was so weird earlier, but didn't dare to ask just walked with him through the hallway as so many times before.

"I'd like to apologize for my behavior. I told Jane I was thirsty and that I needed to hunt. So it woudn't be a good idea that I pick you up, but she decided otherwise and even dared to slice you just to provoke me, I needed all my strength not to attack you. I was furious with her and would love to kill her but I'm not immune to her powers so I'm trapped here, just like you."

I was totally surprised and puzzled. I looked at him and stopped walking, narrowed my eyes and considered what he just said. _Alright so I was wrong obviously, he is friendly, gosh I can't believe what I just think, a friendly vampire, ha, Jason would have punched me for that. _I frowned at the thought of my friend and felt a sudden sadness.

"Hey did I say something wrong? Your emotion changed so suddenly from almost cheerful to deep sadness?" That left me dumpfounded even more. _What the hell? How did he? That's impossible. Ok not impossible we talk about a vampire. _

Jasper must have seen my reaction because he answered. " I can feel the emotions of others and even manipulate them. Like right now I could make you feel happy again if you like to, I don't use my powers unless it's really necessary." I really had to process that part, it was something new about him alltogether. I had so many questions I wanted to ask him right at that very moment, gosh there were hundreds of questions.

"Bella? You are a weird human, do you know that?" And here he did it again, he puzzled me totally.

"Ok so I have so many questions right now, but what do you mean I'm a weird human?" Jasper acutally sighed and scratched his head.

"Well, first you were cheerful, then sad and now you're totally excited and curious and all that within less than 1 minutes. I've never met somebody like you." I actually started laughing about his explanation, I shook my head and smiled at him. Now he looked puzzled and frowned and I had to laugh again.

"You know what? And trust me when I tell you, I can't believe I'll ever gonna say that, but I actually like you somehow, you're really not like the others. You even act human sometimes." His eyes had all of a sudden a glimmer in them and looked pleased.

"Oh I like you too, Bella, not as food or something, even if it's very hard to resist, because your blood smells very delicious, but you are nice girl who shouldn't be here at all." Jaspers voice sounded regretful almost apologetic.

"Alright so why would you want to kill one of your own? And what powers does Jane have? And why are you trapped in here and why..." I couldn't finish, I got interrupted from sudden growls and screams down the hall.

I glanced at the direction of the sound as Jasper started in a death run. It was more a blur than a person actually running. I walked towards the noises as well, the closer I came the louder and scarier it got. The screams were awful, they reminded me too much of the ones I had to endure for hours and started to shiver again, I couldn't bear it anymore. Actually I became totally frightened about what I might find if I keep on walking. Are there more humans who die from the venom or do they get tortured? My breathing got heavy and I stopped, I didn't want to see what was going on. I was scared and trembled. Eventually I decided to sit down right there where I was, leaned against the wall, pulled my legs up and rocked back and forth as the screams and growls continued. Not remembering that I started doing so, but I scratched at my wrists, opened the cuts anew as I looked down at my blood that rushed out of my skin. I couldn't stop, I wouldn't stop, I eventually even dug my nails into the wounds to dig deeper, trying to escape the shrieks in the hallway, but it didn't help. I also didn't know when I started crying, but I felt a burning sensation in my wrists as I closed my eyes and pressed my palms against my ears and the salt of tears mingled with my blood. I didn't care, I just wanted the screams to stop.

Suddenly a strange voice talked to me, it sounded like music, it was mellowing and calming, but also angry and somehow harsh at the same time. "Hello, please come with me, we get you out of here."

I glanced up for the first time and looked right into the face of an angel I thought. He was the most beautiful man I've ever seen, even more so than Jasper and he is already some Adonis. He had brown-bronze short hair, totally messy hair actually, they were spiky and hang in different angles to different sides, but it was the most beautiful hair I've seen in my life and it made him even more astonishing. His skin was pale-cream, his flawless, pretty face, had high cheekbones a turned-up nose, full but masculine lips and big radiant eyes even they were black, he was just gorgeous and dazzling.

I couldn't say anything, he was too breathtaking, I didn't know what to say, I had to think first and process what he actually said before I lost my mind. _Gosh Bella don't do it again, it's just another vampire who looks more like a god than others, but it's still a vampire and a monster. So calm down __and concentrate find your courage and get up. _

I did get up and realized how tall this strange fantastic looking vampire was, my head reached his chin, so I had to look up. We were so close, I could feel the coldness that flowed from his body and somehow it wasn't a bad feeling, it was quiet nice. I took a deep breath, he smelled so good, like of sandalwood, sunlight and oh so masculine. I looked into his eyes and got almost lost, even through the blackness I could see compassion and worry in them.

_Oh stop that, get a grip on yourself and keep your hormones where they belong... far far away from that vampire. _

So I tried to put some anger and carelessness in my voice, but somehow it didn't really work out the way I wanted and I sounded more sarcastic, which of course wasn't a hard think for me. Gosh I am the most sarcastic person ever known when it comes to vampires, I can't barely keep my mouth shut, always have to say something stupid to make them angry.

"You know scarecrow, it's not very tempting to go with you, not with all those terrible screams back there." I pointed to the hallway. "I know you guys like to torture, but can't you do it behind closed doors, don't you have some manners at all? I can't really bear it anymore even I have my limits. So you have to make me, otherwise I don't go with you!" _Oh Bella why do you always have to provoke them? Why don't you just shut up and play nicely....No...forget it, never ever do I give up, do I? Ok maybe I'm not so sure about that anymore. _

The stranger looked at me and frowned, he took a sudden deep breath and the corner of his mouth turned up, it was quiet scary actually and his eyes gleamed. At that very moment I remembered Jaspers reaction and what he told me just minutes ago. _Shit, great, peachy, now he is thirsty as well. __As if I would need any of this right now. What am I gonna do now? Run away...haha funny Bella. _

He was staring at me, I thought he looked right through my soul, didn't move, didn't say anything, didn't breathe either and I just glared back, waited for something to happen. I don't know how long we stood like this, but it seemed hours, meanwhile the screams faded until it was quiet as ever. I felt uncomfortable in the deathlike stillness, my heartbeat sped up and I rubbed my arms, remembered I scratched them open, I looked down and saw the cuts stopped bleeding, there was just dried blood.

When I looked up again, the stranger was gone, I glanced to both sides but he was nowhere to be seen. I frowned about this weird encounter and started walking again, slowly I made my way to the central hall and wondered where Jasper is and if he's alright. _Gosh I care about a vampire, that is sick, I really need a brain wash. _

_**And here I come again, please review :-)**_


	12. Chapter 12: The first sight

**So a new chapter :-) … I guess you guys wondered already when Edward will appear...well here he is.**

**And I wanna thank shadownip for the review :-) …. Hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well.**

Edward's PoV the day before

I paced around at home, back and forth in my room, up and down the stairs. I tried to figure out how we get my brother back from the Volturi. I managed to tune my families thoughts out for a few minutes, I was too angry and determined to get him back and couldn't bear anymore of the miserable thoughts especially of my little pixy sister Alice, she was so heartbroken and lifeless it was actually scary.

Since she was always the most energetic, loudest, happy and jumping, shop atticted person of the whole family. Sometimes she could be so annoying, especially when she thought we needed some new clothes, which would be every three days or so.

But now? Well now she was in her bed all day, won't come out of her room at all and didn't talk to anyone of us either, every time I read her mind, there was so much pain and suffer, that my chest started to ache. I haven't seen her ever since Jasper left. Once in the last weeks I heard her window open and saw a mere blur of her as she jumped out and ran through the wood, I guessed to hunt, but other than that there was nothing coming from her. I really missed my pixy wild sister.

The house was literally dead, no laughing, jokes, fights or any other of the things that made our undead life worth living. _Alice my dear, I promise I get him back for you, I can't see you like this. I do everything. _

I still couldn't believe that Tanya did what she did 3 weeks ago, how can she live like this, betray my family, betray our friendship?

As I went back downstairs again for the hundredth time it was different, because I saw my mom Esme and dad Carlisle sitting on the couch looking at me worried. I just frowned at them wondered when they came back and growled. "I hope you found her? Otherwise we need to do something, shortly, since **we** haven't found her yet, I don't care what we do and even if that means, we have to go to Italy and kill all of them ourselves, then so be it. Alice is a nervous, miserable wreck, I've never seen her like this before and don't wanna see her like this anymore. Rosalie is frustrated herself and works all day on her cars sending me curses now and then because I didn't find the bitch who caused all the problems yet. I think I haven't seen her for two weeks and we live in the same house and Emmett, well I don't even want to start what he is doing or even thinking, because that causes even my toenails to curl. He is so furious that he's planning on going to Italy alone soon. And you Esme? I have to keep your thoughts out as much as I can, otherwise it would brake my heart, the same with you Carlisle."

Esme gave me a regretful, apologetic and guilty look and sighed. "I'm sorry Edward, for you and Alice it must be the hardest with you psychic powers. Unfortunately we didn't find a clue where Tanya might be, so we decided to come back. I want to have Jasper back as much as you do, but we have to think about it." Carlisle nodded in agreement. "She is right, the Volturi are strong and outnumber us by hundreds, we can't just walk in and get him out, after all he made the contract with them and all vampires have to follow the rules and you know that as well as I do. And we all know how much Aro would've liked it if it would have been you or Alice, but he accepted him, still Jasper got his own powers, which are very handy for them as much as yours would be."

Now I got angry, even though I knew they were right, but still it didn't change the fact that it's been three weeks now and nobody has an idea what to do. I ran upstairs in super speed and let myself drop on my sofa, tucked my hands behind my head.

_Damnit, Damnit...Damnit again. Tanya I would've never thought you could be such a bitch just because you couldn't have me? God even a vampire can't be forced to love someone. I can't believe how she came here three weeks ago and sat down with us, pretending everything is fine, even telling me how she got over me finally and moved on. It sounded like we were in a relationship, but there was never more than one kiss, years ago....one damn fucking kiss. Ever since she tried everything to convince me, we'd match perfectly she said all the time. Gosh I was so pissed off, it got so bad, that Carlisle had to tell her she's not welcome here anymore until she's reasonable. _

_So we haven't seen her for 8 months and then suddenly she called and is all happy. Explaining about her upcoming wedding plans with some guy named James. I was so glad to hear that and actually delighted with the thought we can have a normal friendship again. But then? She came here being all friendly and polite, chatting for hours until she dropped the bomb. Telling me, that her mate left her and she needs somebody to lean on which she actually did on me, as she said it. That she needs me badly in her life and bla, bla, bla. She actually started the whole orgy again, but this time she went a little further, told me how we belong together and that she can't survive without me and if I wouldn't go with her, she would go to the Volturi and they would help her. _

_At that moment I really thought she became mad and belongs in a nuthouse. So I spoke for all of us when I told her she shouldn't even try and just leave and that she should learn that love can't be forced on someone. I remember perfectly how she narrowed her eyes and stared at me, and I just thought if looks could kill, then I would be definitely dead. _

_I tried to read her mind but she was thinking about some shopping malls in Texas, which definitely meant, she was up to something. But I didn't bother and showed her out the door. She just turned around one more time and told me I would regret my decision._

_I shook my head and watched her running through the woods. My family decided we should keep her away for good and I agreed without hesitation._

_Well and then the day after, Alice had one of her visions. She saw that Aro, Caius and Marcus and their Guardians would come pay us a visit and that we would talk about me being in love with one of the werewolfs down in La Push. I was so shocked and furious about the news, I smashed parts of the house and made Esme angry of course, she told me I have to clean it up and fix all the damage I've made. _

_I mean we are friendly with the werewolves, but love? Common, that's rediculous. The Volturi knew about the werewolves for centuries, hell, they even exist in Italy and some of the vampires really fell in love with some of the dogs. But after the war, vampires versus werwolves one century ago and thousands of deaths. Both sides decided it would be best that every party should go it's own way and keep the bloodline clean or so they said. Because the wolves can impregnate but not us vamps and it was a big drama when the females didn't bear children for there tribe. After all, the dogs live in big herds and they like to increase their numbers even more so, which is impossible with two different species. _

_And so they came one day later, the masters and twelve Guardians, I just thought what a show, but didn't say anything, well I didn't have to Aro was a mindreader just like me and gave me a smug smile, told me I should be careful what I think. I didn't like him, I actually hated it him, all of them, they really thought they rule the world. _

_But still I was convinced I was on the safe side which appeared completely different later on. The masters literally were looking forward to the meeting and for trouble, they didn't even tried to be resonable as we tried to explain how Tanya planned the whole thing. They just told us, that we were a shame for the vampire world, because we feed on animals and try to blend in with the human population, but unless we don't expose ourselves to humanity, it would be alright. Then Aro spoke to me, I obvioulsy broke one of the most important rules and they can't grant such a disobedience without exceptions. If they would, then everybody could still do what they want and that would be end up in big caos again. _

_I shook my head and told the so called masters, they should just leave and never come back, because the whole thing is more than stupid. Carlisle stopped me and gave me a mental note, I shouldn't provoke them any further. I've read their minds, it was so obvious they enjoyed this spectacle and I knew they would get their will no matter what. Caius actually made plans already how I would fight as Guardian and would be one of the best. Marcus seemed totally unimpressed about everything that went down here and Aro, well he liked to play, he liked games, but just the one's he'll win, which is mostly the case, since they are intimidating the most vampires. Our family is one of the biggest, most vampires keep the groups small. _

_Aro gave me an amused smile and I knew he liked my courage and temper. I read what he would say next and I started to growl already. My family and his followers looked at me, so he went on and told more them than me I can either die or become a Guardian, that I should be thankful, that I can choose what I prefer. _

_If Esme could've cried she would have, the same with Alice. Rosalie swore, as did Emmett and Jasper send us calming emotions, but we were all in such rage, his powers didn't do any good. Carlisle considered Aro for a second and told him that he should go to hell and that he can't understand how they ever became masters of the vampires and how they even dare to call themselves as such, if they are no more than selfish and greedy. _

_My whole family was totally surprised at his sudden outburst, Carlise has always been the one who is reasonable and quiet, always trying to find a way without a fight which actually saved us more than once, since my siblings and I are very vigorous and sometimes even short-tempered. _

_One of the Guardians spoke for the first time, his name was Demetri, I hated his guts for what he was thinking and about to say. _

_He told Carlisle, that he should kill him for the impertincence towards the masters, but got cut off from Caius himself. He told my family how nice it is to see that we really stick together and fight for each other, that we really fit into our lifestyle, we've chosen and told us he would give us another choice. Which would be that one of us can choose to take my place if I didn't want to decide. When he finally said it out loud the anger flowed through the air, we were ready to fight even if it meant we get killed, but Jasper stepped forwards and said obviously without thinking it through, that he's gonna take my place as Guardian. Alice was so shocked about this sudden turn, because she couldn't see it beforehand. Jaspers choice wasn't planned but an instant reaction to the situation. She screamed in her mind and my head hurt. When I glanced over to Aro and saw he didn't feel any better, I did immediately. He nodded at Alice's husband and they shook hands and therefore completed the verbal contract. Jasper was told to be in Italy within three days and then the Volturi left without any further conversation._

_All my family members tried to talk at once, I heard Emmett say, we should go fight as much of the jerks as possible and don't let Jasper leave. Rosalie swore and agreed with Emmett, her thoughts were dreadful. And my parents were thinking logically about what to do, but still they were sad all the same. Me? I just looked at Jasper gaped at him at his stupid move, then I was so furious I growled at him. _

"_How could you do such a damn stupid thing? We could have found another way out of it, after all it was all made up by Tanya, who by the way is gonna die for that. I can't believe you just took my place, like I'm a baby and can't defend myself, well FYI I can! Did you even think about what that means? What you did with your decision, to us, to your wife? Gosh I would like to rip your throat out right now." And just as I actually wanted to jump at him, Alice stood in front of me with the most painful expression, I've ever seen in my over 100 years. I stopped instantly and became aware of the seriousness of this whole situation even more so._

"_I'm sorry Edward, but I couldn't bear all the emotions anymore you guys had at that moment, it was to much at the time and I reacted out of reflex you could say. I didn't think about it, just acted." Jaspers voice was regretful to no end as he looked at Alice. They both held each other and my little pixy screamed for help inside, she send me mental notes that we have to do something._

_My blood boiled, I wanted to see Tanya and kill her, my nostrils flared and if it would have been possible, smoke would have come. Jasper tried to calm me, it did help a little but not much, so I ran off and went hunting as I had a sudden thirst for blood and revenge._

_Nobody followed me and I was thankful for that, I put my whole family in this fucking situation, I was the one who's fault it was that Jasper made this careless decision, just because we couldn't hold our emotions at bay. _

_I found some mountain lion and sedated my thirst, before I sat down and tried to think. I felt so guilty, helpless, my emotions and the sounds of the woods where overwhelming. So I got up again and ran for hours, kicked and smashed hundredth of trees, let my rage out until I was sane and thought I'm ready to go home._

_When I arrived back it was dark outside, the house was lighted and I could hear my family talking, thanks to my enhanced hearing. Of course they spoke about Jasper and what to do._

_Carlisle explained how we should find Tanya and make her go to Italy with us to resolve the problem. They all growled as he spoke her name out loud, even I couldn't stop myself from doing so. She was dead meat when this would be over and we all knew it, but for now we have to calm down which was easier said than done._

_I found them sitting in the kitchen, each one of them bombarded me with their thoughts and I took, even though unnecessary a deep breath and sighed. I totally understand how Jasper feels when he says that it's overwhelming and I really don't wanna have his ability. It's already bad enough to read and know all the thoughts but also feel the emotions of them? Gosh I don't know how he can walk upright in such situations. I glanced over at him and gave him an apologetic nod, he did the same to me. _

_I joined my family, tried to close my mind for all but my own thoughts and just listened what each of them had to say._

_Just like always and it's typical for him, Emmett didn't want to be calm and take his time, he wanted action and a solution fast. Always ready to fight and kick some asses._

_Rosalie just glared at me with a nasty look, as if it was my fault. Well actually it was after all, but still I hated it, that she obviously thought the same._

_Esme looked all desperate and ready to cry if she could and agreed with Carlisle's before said option. Alice seemed apsent-minded and I knew she tried to see the future, but obviously without luck, because her expression, changed from frown, to sad, to anger, to desperation while she always held Jasper's hand as if glued together. And Jasper didn't take his eyes of his wife, feeling all guilty I guessed and tried to find a conclusion himself._

_The room felt tense and bristle, while we talked for hours until I couldn't stand it anymore and jumped up, slammed my chair backwards and my fists on the table, that it broke in two. Everybody looked at me, eyebrows raised. _

"_Guys I don't even know why we talk about this whole thing at all, there is just one solution. I go to Volterra instead of Jasper, it is not his fight or his fault. I have to find Tanya and drag her with me and then I'll find a way out of it. Don't waste your breaths, it is me they actually want and me who was meant to go. And when I come back I'll kill the bitch once and for all." I said in a harsh voice._

_Carlisle stood up, still calm, even though I could see he wasn't any saner than any of us. "Edward, first of all stop grunting and growling, it won't help, second, it doesn't matter who goes, every one of you is a loss and I don't appreciate it in the slightest, that the Volturi aren't reasonable at all. And even if we want it or not, Jasper already made the contract and he has to go....for the moment. I don't discuss this anymore, we're going to find Tanya as fast as possible and then we all go to Italy, the Volturi have to listen to us when we bring her and she got no other chance than telling the truth. Tomorrow we will go look for her and Jasper you need to pack and get your ticket." _

_With that he left the room, Esme looked pained as she watched Carlisle go. It was the second time within hours that he surprised me with his outburst. It was quiet, deathly silence, the only sound came from the lightbulb above as it flickered, of course no human would hear it. Nobody said a thing which didn't mean they didn't think, because that they did. Rosalie gave me one last glare and send me a mental note, that I better find Tanya fast before the whole family brakes apart, then she pulled Emmett up from the chair and they left. _

_Alice was much calmer as she looked over at me and thought almost the same, but without the last part. She asked for help and told me we need to go together and that she can't see when we'll find the betrayer. But obviously she sees Jasper going to Italy and that he will meet a women named Jane who will be at his side most of the time and control every movement._

_Jasper watched his wife and me, definitely knowing that we had a mental conversation. "You know guys it would be very nice if you would share some of it, because even though I can't read minds or see the future, I still feel you're both angry again." I sighed at his comment, lowered my head and told him that I'm sorry about what had happened and that I'll find Tanya as fast as I can and hope he can forgive me. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Jasper nodded and told me, that there is nothing to be sorry for. He made the decision and doesn't want me to feel guilty, it is Tanya who should feel that way and should pray for her life, because it would be over soon._

_That was when I finally looked up again and gave him a thankful smile. It made me feel better that especially he thought I am not to blame. Rosalie I can bear, she is a heartless, selfish bitch most of the time and I actually never went along with her, but Jasper? No I have too much respect for him._

_But still I knew what will come and the feel of guilt came back immediately. Because true mates can't be apart for long, of what I've heard over the last decades, they have a bond so strong they feel each others emotions, besides the powers they might have or not. And once they're apart they might become insane, get mad, feel that something is missing and a part of the spirit will get lost. _

_I never met a vampire who actually went through that until now. My poor Alice! _

_Jasper and Alice rose as well and left the kitchen, so that I sat alone with Esme. We looked at each other, she smiled at me but it didn't reach her eyes. "I'm so sorry Edward, I know how you feel, I don't want you to blame yourself, just as Jasper said, it's not your fault. I know you didn't have it easy here all alone and now this? I hope you'll find your luck and hope and the most important thing...Love, when this is all over. Because I can't see you miserable anymore, I know that you are. Don't even start to say that's not true, everybody here knows it and besides me, they just don't mention it to you."_

_No I felt like crying, I really thought I did a good job in hiding my real emotions with me being lonely, ok not that would be possible in Jasper's or Alice's case, but they never really said anything which I appreciated. _

_Esme pulled me aside from time to time to tell me she loves me and I can't be a better son and someday I will find my true love. _

_Sighing again I said this time my voice was a whisper, so that just Esme may here me. "I thank you for your care so much about me and I'll promise I make it right again, everything." She stood up and walked over to me, held my chin and kissed my forehead, before she left, I guessed to go and see Carlisle. _

_After the days past by and we still didn't find a sign of Tanya, the tension grew in the house and we actually avoided each other, besides our parents._

Today was Emmett's and my turn to go hunting, it was more than time, we haven't fed since the day Jasper left and due to the growing tension it made it all harder to concentrate. So I got up from the couch and jumped out of my window, met my brother by the lake, but couldn't really stop thinking about the past weeks.

_The house wasn't the same anymore and I spend most of the day running and seeking out Tanya. I went to Alaska first thing but her sisters haven't seen her for months and never heard of a James. They couldn't believe that she did what she did either and agreed to help looking for her. Carlisle took a vacation of work and flew with Esme to South America and Europe to find her and even ask for more help of other covens. Well until today, since they came back without anyones notice, which is another factor how tense and unobservant we all are. _

_Rosalie minded her own business, but did go hunt and seek nonetheless for Tanya and tried to talk to Alice, but she never opened the door nor did she listen to any of us._

Emmett and I reached our favorite place we love for hunting, deep in the woods close to the mountains in Vancouver. Usually he likes to make our hunt a competition, sometimes even fights with me, but not today. His grim expression never changed, he just told me we gonna meet at our certain tree in an hour, before he ran off. I watched him until I couldn't see him anymore. But I sensed him and his bear he prefers miles away. I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment, trying to sense my own prey. _We need to end this, that can't go on, we all loose ourselves slowly but surely. We act more than ever like vampires, the ones we never wanted to become, the ones who move stiff, never smile and mind their own buisness, being evil. It's like a course that went through the whole family. I would love to know how Jasper is doing? Since I don't get a chance to see or talk to Alice anymore non of us knows anything about him and she would be the only one to know. And it's all my fault. How can they __say it's not, I should have gone with Tanya as I could, but who could have known what she will do. Alright I know she warned me, so I actually had a chance to end it all, but like the stubborn vampire I am I just had to do what I wanted.... Ahh, here you go, come here my little delicious lion, I just need to drink a bit of you. _

Then I ran off to where the smell of lion came from, it sensed me and tried to escape but of course with my vampire speed it's not an option for something who could outrun every leopard. I chased it through the woods though, but when I had enough I grabbed it and bit down right into it's jugular. The blood filled my mouth and the taste of it felt like heaven after my throat burned for so long. I drained it completely and dropped the lion to the floor to get another one.

After the third lion I felt sedated enough and went back to the tree Emmett and I decided to meet, he was already there, sat in the grass, his expression changed a bit, he looked stern and I could see he was up to something. "Edward, I can't do this anymore, Alice all heartbroken, Rosalie frustrated because of it and that she can't do anything and our parents are gone somewhere to find the bitch in the middle of the fucking nowhere. I leave today and you can't stop me, first I thought I shouldn't tell you, but you would have figured it out and Alice anyway. So don't even try to stop me, I'll hope you join me, I haven't talked to Rosalie yet, but she will definitely come....what do you say?"

His voice soundend like music in my ears, my heart actually did a flip and not just because we do finally what I thought we should have done the first time around, but because he finally said more than just one word in days. I smiled at him and he smiled back, his eyes even gleamed, after all that is what he loves, getting some action kick some bastards asses, even if he would get killed.

"Let's do it Emmett and thank got I have you back, I just thought already we turn into zombies slowly but surly....oh and by the way, mom and dad are back, apparently you haven't sensed them either, which is bad for us, we should be more attentive." With that we ran faster as ever back to the house just to find Alice and Rosalie, with luggages already packed in the living room. Alice looked bad, she had dark shadows under her eyes and her skin seemed even paler, she looked as if suffering, which she definitely did and my heart sank in my chest and started aching again.

"Don't worry about mom and dad, I knew they were coming, but there are gone now, hunting. I saw that Emmett goes to Italy, so I decided to come with you guys and got Rosalie already, we're all ready to go. I don't care what will happen, whether we die or not, but if I don't see Jasper soon I will end my life anyway, that is just heartbraking and all for me. I've seen Jasper over the past weeks, he got tortured by Jane's power if he didn't do what she told him. She can make him do everything she wants, control his mind to be exact and which I think is even worse, she can create the illusion of excruciating pain and I tell you, she did it not even once.

They obviously captured the two hunters the Volturi wanted to have so badly. Demetri that sadonist changed the man called Jason and the girl called Bella, she is still human but they keep her captured. Jane made Jasper take care of the girl after she battered her half to death. And tomorrow, I could see that Bella is restraint to a chair, Jasper is thirsty, he still haven't fed, he refuses to drink human blood and when Jane is going to pick her up again from where they keep this Jason guy while he changes and release her robes, she will cut the girl deliberately to make Jasper drink from her. I couldn't see what will happen, since it's Jane choice of action and not his. So just because of that reason we have to go, I don't want my husband to turn into a monster." Alice's voice was broken, held so much sadness in it that her emotion became ours as well and then she picked her luggage up and walked to the garage. Rosalie frowned at me, I opened my mind for her. _Edward, she looks so bad, we need to get Jasper out of there and the way she talks and moves, she really is ready to die, so please don't let that happen._

I just nodded at her and we all made our way to the cars. Alice sat already in my silver Mustang Shelvy GT and Emmett drove with Rosalie in her red Mercedes CLK GTR Coupe usine. We drove to the airport in record time, which was nothing new, hence our sportcars and the fact we drove over 130mph. Once we reached Seattle, we parked the cars while Alice jumped out to get flight-tickets. Of course she bought first-class and managed to get a flight within the hour.

We checked in, went through the gate and in the airplane. It's always nice to have the most expensive tickets, for you get always the best and special treatment, like being the first to get in and out and special food, which we don't need, but still as for humans as for us it's still the most comfortable way to travel.

The flight was way to long, 19 hours and 2 stops, once in Chicago and then in London again. Alice took always the window seat and glared outside. She grew tense while she tried to see the future as it came closer to the point where Jasper was suppose to pick this girl Bella up. I reached out to her mind to get the images.

She saw different outcomings, the pictures changed every minute, apparently her husband didn't or couldn't really decide what to do as he stood in front of the girl. It was either him drinking of her, trying to kill Jane, leave the room, or grab Bella.

Alice's pleads and hopes for a good ending rang through my head and gave me a headache. She was so fraught, she kept on digging her nails into the newspaper but was totally oblivious about it. And once again, I felt guilty for not just gave in. I wished as so many other times before, I could turn back the clock. Rosalie noticed and felt her sisters pain of course and send me more of her courses. Emmett on the other hand has been encouraging throughout the whole time and tried to asure me, everything will be fine once we arrive.

Finally as Alice's vision slowly cleared, her sigh of relief swam through us and the tension faded a bit, when she saw that Jasper controlled himself and just grabbed the girl, pulled her away back to her room.

The girl was pretty I thought, she looked exhausted and in pain, her hair was a total mess, strands hang out everywhere and her chin was split, which made me suddenly angry. Surprised by my own reaction I let go off Alice mind. She glanced at me with one brow arched but didn't say anything, I knew she could sense my sudden change and normally she would have been the first one to jump right into it and make fun of me or something, but not now. Her emotional pain radiated from her body like waves and it was hard not to become miserable ourselves.

Once the plane landed in Rome, one of the attendants gave Alice the key to our rented car which waited right at the exit for us. I smirked at it, but wasn't surprised to find a black Bentley Azure Convertible. She always liked to indulge herself, hell, I do the same, why shouldn't we, our family had enough time and due to Alice powers even more possibilities to gain more money than any human could ever spent in his lifetime.

Rosalie and Emmett jumped right in the rear-seat, I used the passengers side and Alice drove this time. With normal speed it would have taken us almost four hours to get to Volterra, but we needed half the time thanks to our pixies clairvoyance, clever maneuver and good driving skills of every vampire. Otherwise some of the humans who would say they had a near death experience while we passed by would have been definitely dead.

The car slowed down until Alice brought it to a complete stop. We climbed out and followed our little sister as she walked over to some huge marketplace, surrounded by stone walls. It was summer here, the air was hot and it smelled of fresh cut grass, hint of flowers, sunlotion and of salty oceanwater. It was so different but still pleasant to the cold weather of Forks and its smell of wet wood, soil and grass and the persistent humidity due to the almost everyday rain.

I surveyed the region, to the left stood a massive clock-tower which read 9:17pm. I looked up to the sky and was thankful the sun almost set and the moon slowly rose, we didn't need anymore problems, we most definitely would have caused through our sparkling skin in the bright light. There was a circular fountain in the center, it resembled the goddesses Venus, Aphrodite, Artemis, Gaia and Athena. Each of them leaned on her side against an agitated, water-spouting swan, its spread out wings reached the tip of the adjoining swan and in the center of the magnificent statues were three rose blossoms. A broad stone arch to the right led the way back to the busy streets of Volterra. Some people were walking and talking around the place, but it wasn't overly crowded.

Alice walked over the the clock-tower, went inside and down the wooden stairs. My siblings and I followed her, since we didn't know where to go. It was always a nice gift Alice claimed and in moments like these even more so. I knew she would track her husband from the first step on.

The staircase led to what had been suppose to be a storeroom I guessed. It was pitch black, but thanks to our enhanced vampire sight, we could see just fine, as if the room was illuminated. There were piled up wooden boxes, barrels and baskets everywhere. Wine and other bottles, most of them smashed and all covered with enough dust to draw pictures in it, were lined up on a shelf. Based on the amount of spiderwebs hanging from the ceiling and between the stacked boxes, the smell of rust, liqueur and the obsolete and moist wood, I was certain no human had been in here for several decades. The only indication that someone walked through was the smell and sense of another vampire. A wooden door on the left side led to another room. And besides one single complete moth-eaten bed with a tiny table and a oil-lamp on top, it was empty and no other door to be seen. I frowned, looked around again, but there was nothing, but yet again the sense of vampire seemed to be even stronger in here.

"I can smell and even sense that vampires had been here, but are you sure that is the right place though?" Alice sighed, shook her head as if disappointed.

"You know Edward, I thought you would know better, than insult me like this. Don't you have any trust in my powers anymore? If so that is more than sad. Why would I bring you in here if I wasn't hundred percent sure I know what I'm doing?" She actually hissed at me.

"Sorry, but I can't really see another way to..." Just as I said it, Alice suddenly found and opened a hidden door in the wall across from us and she gave me a "see I told you so" look and went through. I just shrugged and followed, Rosalie and Emmett right behind me.

The door was so well covered I couldn't even see the frame as it closed behind us again. The way led to another staircase. Torches on the walls lightened the tunnel in front. The ceiling wasn't much higher than I am and Emmett had to duck his head while we made our way down.

The smell of vampire increased with every step and I sensed so many of them I couldn't tell how many there were.

Eventually we reached another door, it was somehow ancient and arched and dark brown. Alice looked at the rest of us and nodded before she send me a mental note. _Edward I don't see any vampires coming at us, but we'll fight soon and it won't be pretty, I can't see the ending yet or what will __happen, so I just tell you I love you._

I took another unnecessary breath, but nodded at her and looked back to Rosalie and Emmett, they were ready to fight I could see, you could say they were determined to do considering the black eyes, but this time not because of thirst, but of rage and anger.

Alice opened the door, the room behind was actually a huge arched hallway with paintings and torches on the walls. Without hesitation she walked right and opened the first door that came. It was a well stocked armory. There were weapons I haven't seen in my whole life and wouldn't know how to use. Emmett and I took two of the swords, my sisters chose silver-wooden sticks. Just as I opened the door Alice stood still, looking ahead but nowhere in particular, she had another vision.

"I can see Jasper, he's on his way to pick the girl up. We have eight minutes before they gonna reach the central hall, unless we prevent it of course." Alice said with a smile on her face the first one in weeks and how could I not return the gesture. Rosalie and Emmett shared one last, long and very passionate kiss which made my eyes roll before we ran with vampire speed back and made our way to Jasper.

While we passed doors over doors and paintings over paintings, my senses told me we approaching a large group of undead people pretty soon. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw my siblings felt the same and we were ready to fight for our lives.

Behind and in front of us, doors opened and closed again. Awareness tingled and anger washed over me as a dozen vampires had stepped out and were moving towards us in slowmotion, taking their time as if they had all time in the world. Ok considering that we are all dead, we actually have all eternity, but not today.

"Let the party start" Emmett said in a total calm voice and I felt his excitement and knew he had just become the perfect killer and would enjoy every single one of them. Rosalie growled in the back of her throat at the two female vampire closest to her. "Love, I'm as ready as ever."

I focused on the three coming opponents myself, two males, one female, but opened my mind for Alice. _Good luck brother, I know we kill them all. _It wasn't a question more a statement, cause she knew certainly how this fight will end.

Then I ran and jumped, kicking one vampire in the head before dropping to the ground and, sweeping with a leg, knocking a second off his feet while I sliced right through the third one's neck and his head dropped to the ground, all in less than four seconds. The female vampiress screamed, at the sight, apparently I just beheaded her mate and she tried to wrap her arms around my neck, but I was faster and pulled her off me, slammed her right into the brickwall. The other male vampire roared and lunged at me, he was strong and pushed me backwards as he squeezed my throat and tried to turn it. But I was the one who came armed and stabbed him right through his torso. He screamed in pain and let go, of course it was just for a short time, so I pulled my sword back out and while he fell I aimed again and decapitated him in one swift move. The women spun on my back, digging her nails into each shoulder, drawing blood, pain rushed through me and this time I snarled. I pulled at her long hair and threw her several feet across the hallway, then I ran after her and while she flew I sliced her head off.

When I turned around I saw Emmett just finished his fourth, he had a fat smirk in his face, his eyes pitch black, looking all satisfied and smug. I shook my head and glanced over to my sisters, who didn't need any help either, they did just fine as if it was a hobby.

Suddenly I sensed another vampire coming from behind and even more from ahead, I growled, spun around and saw it was Jasper, who looked surprised and shocked at the same time.

"Hi brother, I thought it would be nice to pay you a visit." He smirked at me and grasped the sword I threw at him, his eyes already black just like mine. While I ran back to Emmett and Rosalie who already fought the newcomers, Jasper pulled Alice on the side and kissed her fiercely before joining us. _Thank god._

After I beheaded three more, I realized a sudden sweet smell of jasmine and orange in the air. I looked around, drew in a deep breath and concentrated on the spattered blood everywhere. The smell didn't come from any of the vampires still alive or dead. It came from further away, back in the hallway, it was so luring and drawing, my throat started to burn and a deep thirst washed over me. I followed the scent, didn't look back at my siblings, just inhaled the enchanting smell and let it burn in my lungs. As the fragrance increased I slowed down, realized for the first time, the scent is human.

_This is the most luring scent I've ever smelled in my life. How come I never realized how good humans really reek? This is so mouthwatering, I just take one bite, one tiny bite and a little sip._

The last thought shocked me, I stopped walking alltogether, frowned at myself, before I saw a girl, leaning against the wall, sitting with her legs pulled up to the chest, covering her ears with bloody hands and cried.

Her sight let me forget about my sudden thirst and in a flash I stood in front of her. I wanted to soothe her, wanted to help. I wanted to know why she was so miserable and cried, so I tried to read her mind, but I couldn't, frowning I reached out again, but like the first time I slammed against a wall. _Huh? What is that? How is that possible?_ I looked at her sorrowful appearance and tried to talk to her. "Hello, please come with me, we get you out of here."

Finally she glanced up at me and I looked right into the face of Bella, the face of an angel, the most beautiful being I've ever seen in my life. Her oval-shaped face, her big dark chocolate brown eyes, long lashes, the most cutie upturned nose ever and then the red full and pouty lips. She was so pale, she could have been almost a vampire, she was breathtaking, delirious and oh so gorgeous. I couldn't take my eyes of her, was totally fixated and mesmerized by her beauty.

Suddenly she rose and stood mere inches away from me, reaching no more than my chin, her warmth embraced the coldness of my skin. The feeling was undescribable, my body tingled in anticipation, my heart jumped in my chest, I was excited, wanted more, I wanted to touch her, to feel her, even kiss her. This feeling was totally new and it made me nervous, the emotions overwhelmed me. I was worried, didn't know what to do. Every try to calm myself backfired, my mind told me I should leave, but my body wanted the excact opposite.

Bella took a deep breath as if frustrated, angry and aghast all the same and I was even more desperate that I couldn't read her mind which I tried again, but there was still nothing. And suddenly she opened her mouth and spoke.

"You know scarecrow, it's not very tempting to go with you, not with all those terrible screams back there." She pointed to the hallway. "I know you guys like to torture, but can't you do it behind closed doors, don't you have some manners at all? I can't really bear it anymore even I have my limits. So you have to make me, otherwise I don't go with you!"

I couldn't do more than frown, I expected almost everything, but not that, it totally surprised and startled me. And not just what she said, but her voice, it was the sweetest sound I've ever heard, like bells and harpes playing the most glorious melody. This girl made me more than curious, everything about her was so different and it bothered me, that I was so attracted to her. I took a deep breath....it was a very very bad mistake. All sexual emotion vanished in a heartbeat and were replaced with sheer and painful bloodthirst. My eyes turned black, my senses where all tuned to the sweet smell of her blood.

_Edward just one tiny bite, just a little, everybody makes mistakes now and then, why not me? It is her own fault that she sits with bloodied wrists in the hallway. Nobody will see it, you're totally alone with her. _

I came out of my apsent-minded stage as Bella's heart sped up, it soundend like a hummingbird. And again I was shocked about my cruel thoughts, even swore at my beast and that this small little girl made me so weak and uncontrolled. It was dangerous and every second I stood here, made it harder to turn around. I held my breath, didn't move, was indecisive and just stared at her eyes, tried to control the beast inside of me. It was oh so hard.

Suddenly I heard Alice screaming voice in my head. _No, No, No_, _Edward, Edward, don't you dare to make a move, I'm almost there. Don't even think about it, I saw what you would like to do, what's on your mind. You don't want this, trust me on that. _

My mind came back to focus on what I am and what I want and who I didn't wanna be. Then Bella rubbed her arms and looked down. To clear my head a little more I blinked my eyes, turned around an in a death run I left the girl behind and went back to my siblings.


	13. Chapter 13: Jason as vampire

**Guys you really make me sad, shame on you! Just one review? Common that can't be it? But thanks to shadownip though, he is a fast friend and I really appreciate that he takes his time not just to read my story :-)**

**But anyway here is my new chapter**

Bella's PoV

As I walked through the halls, I couldn't quiet keep my mind off the stranger. His face, the one of the godlike young man, no vampire, the one who looked like as if chiseled from marble, the one who left me melted, the one who made my heart jump, the one who was as clearly in my head as if we still stood just inches away from each other.

_That was so weird, this vampire stunned me to no end and oh he smelled so good... Stop....don't even think about it, that is bad, vampires are bad, he is bad. You don't like them, you hate them you wanted to kill them all, before you ended up in deep shit. His eyes, those pitch black eyes and his smirk, it was so frightening. Why did he just leave, he was thirsty, of that I'm sure, just like Jasper has been. Why didn't he just take advantage of the situation? It's almost the same reaction Jasper had as he smelled my blood. I guess Aro is more powerful and threatening than I thought he is, apparently his warning not to kill me went through the whole coven and obviously it is enough for all the vampires to obey. Or maybe I'm getting crazy and mad after all and he wasn't even real, I mean I don't know how long I've been here and all things that happened, it wouldn't surprise me, if I'm slowly but surely get insane here. Eventually he was there in a flash and vanished the same way. Maybe my imagination is playing me a bad joke. But no, the screams were real....weren't they? Oh gosh I'm not even so sure of that anymore. I need to get out of here, rather sooner than later. _

_What is that smell? It...it...it smells like blood? _

I swallowed as I felt bile crawling it's way up my throat. The smell was so penetrating I had to breathe through my mouth and that was just as bad, I could taste the metal and salt on my tongue. After so many fights and bad injuries, I knew exactly how blood smelled and tasted. Gosh I couldn't even tell how many times I swallowed or choked my own blood.

Somehow I was still so apsent-minded that I didn't look up right away, just kept on walking, tried to keep my meal inside and ignored the smell. But when I felt my shoes were wet and every step made a dabbling sound on the ground, I finally focused.

The sight in front of me, stopped me, froze me in place, my eyes widened in shock. Both my hands flew up to my mouth and sort of cupped my nose and lips as if to prevent a scream.

There were at least eighteen bodies, no actually not bodies, more like body-parts, since all the heads were missing and spread around the hallway. Blood was everywhere, spattered the walls, the doors, the paintings. The floor was a mere bloodbath and my shoes were actually soaked with the red liquid. The picture was that of a horror movie, but only this one was real.

Now I had to gag, the view wasn't something you see every day and even after all the murders I committed and the blood I have shared, this was nothing to compare with. As if drawn I kept on looking from body to body, from head to head, it made it all worse. I tried to keep the vomit inside, actually held my breath. But after seconds passed, my body shook with the determination of getting oxygen in my lungs and I trembled so hard that I couldn't do more than either give in or suffocate and die. With my last strength I ran over to the wall, stretched and leaned my palms against the stone, lowered my head and vomitted.

Right in the middle of it, an ear-piercing scream echoed through the halls. I winced, pulled my shoulders up and tried to ignore it. My stomach worked and worked, pumped every bit of food I had left out of me until it hurt and my throat scorched. When my gastric finally decided there is nothing left, I sank to my knees. A headache loomed it's way to my temples and I leaned my forehead against the cold wallm, just breathed for a moment.

I hated the disgusting sour taste in my mouth. I wanted water and brush my teeth, so I got up again and turned around, went back to my bathroom.

_Oh god, what the hell happened there? I hope they weren't humans. No! They were not, otherwise it wouldn't explain why all the heads were missing. This is one way to kill vampires, humans don't take so much effort to kill, but why did they get slaughtered and by whom? That was almost like my nightmare, all the blood and dead bodies. Oh no is Phil here? From all the places, might it be that he is really here? But no that doesn't make sense, why should he kill his own people? Huh, I'm so irritated. Nothing makes sense.... Wait, the stranger actually said he wanted to help me to get out of here. So did he kill all those vampires? But why? And why would he like to help me out? Ahhhh that's all so confusing, I'm getting the crises here. And were the hell is Jasper wasn't he suppose to get me back, not that I'm eager to? Oh that actually reminds me of Jason, he should be changed by now! Shit, shit, shit, what a mess._

Eventually I reached my bath and cleaned myself. I had to brush my teeth three times, before I got the taste out of my mouth. And after I splashed water in my face, cleaned my arms and changed from my soaked pans into a black kneelong skirt and a new red shirt, I felt almost normal again. My shoes and clothes landed right in the trash and I put leather boots on.

My stomach was empty, but I didn't want to risk to eat, so I just got my water in my bedroom and quenched my thirst and burning throat. The headache seemed to ease and slowly to disapear.

I sighed and sat on my bed, my mind held so many questions but no answers. I was determined to find out what happened and who this stranger was and I actually also wanted to see Jason, even if it wouldn't be a good idea. After all curiosity killed the cat and that's what I am.

Pictures of death sweeped through my head, I've seen to much by now and today gave me the rest of the never ending nightmare. Images of my mom and Vanessa kept on showing up and every time it was different, sometimes they were rotten zombies, sometimes they were vampires and sometimes they looked normal as if they never died. Then there were images of Phil, of horror faces I've never seen in my life and of Michael and dad.

_Whew it's like a course, that will never stop haunting me. I miss you Michael and of course you too dad. I would love to see you again, to embrace you. Make up for all the despair I've caused you. I __would love to be with you right now, gosh how would I enjoy to watch some idotic sport on the flatscreen. And oh the sun, I miss the sun, fresh air, the smell of nature, normal people, human people, even rain. How can vampires live like this? It's miserable, always underground, in the cold, ok not that they feel anything like coldness, but still it's unbearable and they live for an eternity? Bella stop pitying the monsters, they deserve it! _

I felt tears dripping down my cheeks, I closed my eyes and tried not to think. I took deep breaths before I glanced up again and wiped my eyes.

Eventually I rose, told myself I can't afford to be desperate, not as long as I am here. But I couldn't convince myself enough without feeling the hint of hesitation. My instincts told me something is off and that I should stay in my room, but like I said before curiousity killed the cat and so I decided against my inner turmoil and made my way back to the big hall. After all I wanted to see my former friend, now vampire, I needed to know what will happen when he sees me and whether I hate him or not. Of course I chose a different path this time, I really didn't want or need to see this horror picture again and since my orientation increased, thanks to all the paintings, I knew exactly which way.

The closer I came the colder it got. It was very strange, the coldness was extreme and goosebumbs spread all over me.

_How is that possible? Usually I know when it's cold there is a vampire, but this? __It never had been like this. Something is going on, something big and I'm not so sure anymore if I like to see what? Maybe I should walk back after all? My conscience tells me I should walk back, but my body wants the exact opposite. I could scream, I hate that, always, why does my body and head never work together? It's like angel and devil play their games with me. The angel thinks better safe than sorry and the devil is a little masochist and always up to mischief and needs to satisfy his curiosity. The big problem is, lucifer mostly wins and that sucks, just like now. Why don't I stop walking, gosh Bella that's insane, but on the other side, maybe I can find some answers to all the questions?....See that's exactly what I mean....Well it's to late anyway, here I am again and what have we here, just like always my lovely guards._

The cloak figures moved their heads in my direction and I could swear I heard them smirk. I frowned and my suspense increased, even stepped back in hesitation.

I shouldn't have done that apparently, because in the next second, one of the guards was on me, held me tight by the upper arms. I couldn't do anything, they were to fast and didn't even see them move. My heart sped up and I was truly scared, after all, the guards and I weren't the best friends you could say. But instead of hitting, or killing me, what I thought he would do, he blindfolded my eyes.

_I don't like this, I don't like this at all. That's not good is it? God damn devil piss off my body and leave me alone. I knew it, I just knew it._

"I wish you a lot of fun in there little girl." Was all he said, his voice evil and send chills through my body. Then he pulled me forward and led me through the apparently now open doors. I struggled of course but it was like trying to move a concrete wall. After a few feet we stopped, we didn't go down the steps, he just turned me around so that I would face the doors again. Panic and fear swam through me, my hands got cold and wet, my breathing shortened and I literally stood there like a statue. I felt cold hands at my face again and I closed my eyes, not that I could see anyways, but it was a typical reaction due to the situation. The guard I guessed took the blindfold off my head, I opened my eyes again and saw how the doors closed in front of me.

I didn't want to move, I actually couldn't move. Out of the corners of my eyes I couldn't see anything, the deathly silence made it all worse and I started to tremble a little. Suddenly I heard Aro's voice, it was calm but casting. "Hello Bella, I'm glad you are here I thought already I needed to send somebody to get you. I didn't want you to miss this. Eventually it is as important to you as it is to us. We have two things today. First we have to accomplish the ceremony of your friend into the vampire world. And second, which wasn't planned at all or even desired. We had some, let say distractions here at the compound, a few unwelcome guests thought they could stroll just in, kill some guardians and disappear with our newcomer Jasper again. But thanks to our beloved Jane and her powers, she changed that. So it will be a big spectacle today, you can be very lucky, it doesn't happen very often, that all the vampires of Italy come together and celebrate. Usually our life is boring, therefore I am even more delighted about what happened and of course that you are here. I wanted to surprise you and thought it might me a good idea to blindfold your eyes. But you may turn around now."

_So Jasper is really not one of them, and I guess the stranger is one of the "guests" he meant. And what did he mean by Jane helped? And again what powers does she have? I guess I can be more than happy that I am immune. And what the scariest part is "all the vampires of Italy", I don't wanna turn around I really don't. But what choice do I have, if I don't they make me. Alright Bella, you can do this, just be youself and try not to show you're scared like shit. As if that would help, since they know exactly how I feel right now. But it doesn't matter, I can't ruin my reputation can I? _

I took one deep breath, gathered all my non existing courage and tried to pretent that I don't care what he said and put some anger in my voice.

"You know Aro I think you have something like a chronic disorder with two's. When I came here, no wait, the better word would be captured. So when you captured me, you gave me two choices, as you gave Jason and now you have two things to accomplish. It's kind of annyoing don't you think?" I heard several smirks and awe's of disbelief I would say. But still satisfied with myself I finally turned around.

Suddenly I felt as if my blood left my body, I felt weak and would have loved to sit down, but that wouldn't have made a good impression, instead I tried to keep me upright and calm my hearbeat that hammered in my chest.

There were at least 200 vampires, man and women, lining the hall and half circled the altar and the throne chairs, keeping the path from the steps to the stone open. I didn't look around, I didn't have to, I felt how their stares bored into me. And anyway the sight in front was much more interesting. Aro, Caius, Marcus, Demetri and Jane were seated like royalty on their chairs. All dressed up in black satin, which made their skin look even paler, almost like paper. To Jane's left stood five vampires with pained expressions, two of them I knew, Jasper and the stranger from the hallway. There was a girl, my age, she had black somewhat spiky chin length hair, oval-shaped face, high cheekbones, pointed nose, and full lips, her skin was as pale-cream as were that of the others and their eyes were black. She was beautiful, pretty, looked actually charming.

Then there was a huge man, I would say around 6.5, he looked nineteenth, short brown taper cut hair, a round face, strong jaw line, long nose, thin lips. And the last vampire was a girl, she looked like a model, was also around my age, totally curvy at the right places, full breasts, long blond curly hair, a heart-shaped face, a short and turned up nose, full and pouty lips, wide cheeks and a small chin, she was breathtaking.

Behind each one of them stood a gorilla looking like vampire, who had each of them in a tight grip by their upper arms and I wondered why and why they don't just pull free. But I was sure they were the ones who murdered all those vampires and wanted to get Jasper.

Then I decided to glance around, all vampires wore black satin. I heard many of them inhaling deeply, it was a disgusting sound. I knew it was because of me and that was scary. Unfortunately I couldn't see Jason.

Next who spoke was Demetri, his voice was as smug as always and even sarcastic.

"You look a little pale suddenly, I hope you feeling alright? Why don't you come down? You look so alone up there, so outcasted. Come right in the middle of us, we don't bite." Laughter filled the hall for the moment, it's sound sending cold shivers up my back.

_Haha very funny scarecrow, just wait someday you'll pay for that or so I hope, if I ever make it out of here alive, which I seriously doubt after today. _

I squared my shoulders and straightened my spine, walking down the steps and gliding into the dangerous middle as casually as if I were going to the ball. Murmurs broke out at the sight of me, but couldn't understand what they said. But I decided to continue stubborn as I always am.

"You know Demetri, I just can't help it but I really have to say this. Aren't you totally pissed that you can't kill me after what I did to you with the glass shard? Throwing me through the room once and then just leave me that's not really what you wanted, is it? I would have loved if it wouldn't have been just glass, but my lovely silver wooden sticks. It would have hurt once and then you could have said goodbye to your world, but since you took them from me, I had to hurt you. It was so tempting and I don't like to be brutalized by a scarecrow. I told you already you need to learn some manners." He growled in the back of his throat at my comment, narrowed his eyes and gave me the typical, if looks could kill, glare. "Girl you better shut your mouth before I loose my temper completely, you were just lucky till now, don't give me another reason to throw you, next time you won't survive it!"

Before I could say something Caius held his hand up to stop me. "Demetri stop theatening her, it was your own fault what happened. You shouldn't have underestimated her, after all she killed more than twenty of us. Which reminds me, if you ever lay hand on her again, I will kill you myself."

Demetri grunted again but remained quiet, I just lifted one brow at Caius and stared at him in disgust.

_Ugh I don't know why but I think that old grandaddy of a vampire just tried to flatter me, Ugh, gross! _Then I glanced over to Jasper, he really looked as if suffering and I still couldn't get it why they are not just pull away. He looked at me and gave me... an apologetic expression? I frowned at him but somehow nodded, who knows why. Then I looked at the stranger,our eyes met and the same warmth and excitement streamed through me and I felt pity for him, knowing that they wouldn't live much longer after what they did.

_So now I know they wanted Jasper, but why kill all those vampires? And where is Jason?_

I moved my eyes back to the masters. " So since we are all here, gathered nice and cozy. I'm curious, why would your so called guests, stroll in here and kill their own people?" They all looked me, no expression whatsoever, as if they didn't hear me. But Jane sneered, she looked very concentrated didn't even met my eyes and then Marcus spoke for the first time, his voice sounded totally bored.

"It surprises me that you of all people have to ask this very question, you who should understand best, you as human, who lives in the most brutal world. Where mankind still fight each other, where genocides took place over centuries, the same with wars, mayhem, hunger. People who destroy themselves because of greed and envy. Your kind is the cruelest, selfish and reckless one ever existed. And over the centuries, your people tried to make it right through laws and rules. I have to say it got better in the past decades, but still there are humans who die everyday because they get shot or overdose themselves with drugs or even kill themselves because of despair and grief while others swim in money, don't even think about their own kind somewhere else on earth. Some people still brake regulations and laws, that's why you have prisons, mental facilities or other places to send those who doesn't play by the rules.

And so it is in our world my lovely Bella, we have rules too, we need to prevent our kind from braking the laws as much as you do. Of course you can't compare the vampire world with the human, first of all because we have never been as violent as your kind, but every now and then there are some who push their limits too far and that is what happened with these five." he pointed to the strange group, I frowned and wondered about my own world for a moment. He was right, the human species is brutal, I never really thought about it until now. Then I looked at Jasper, he seemed so regretful and I remembered that he told me he doesn't wanna be here and we have more in common than I think.

_I really think I'm getting crazy now, but somehow my instinct tells me I am right. Jasper must've been forced to be here, somehow, after all I still don't know what different powers these vampires have. And I guess that the other four tried to get him out of here, that would at least make sense with why the stranger said he wanted to help me to get out. And of course just because I know how determined, reckless and selfish Aro and his gang are, I could imagine, they didn't like that, so they fought or lets say let others fought for them. I almost feel sorry for the five, they must kind of love each other pretty much if they would go to such great lengths. _

I must've been apsent-minded for a while because Aro suddenly said. "Oh Bella, as much as I love your gift, but it's really frustrating that I can't read your mind. I would love to know what you just thought and don't even try to tell me otherwise."

The strange and way to good looking man from the hallway smirked and suddenly yelled out once. I glanced at him and as if anticipated back to Jane. Somehow I knew she must've something to do with that and also that they stay so still without struggling. I saw the little black haired women gave him an apologetic and sorrowful look which made me even more compassonate for them but also more certain, that I was right.

"Oh Aro I'll tell you what I thought with pleasure. Even Marcus is right with what he just said and it is sad enough that mankind still got so much anger that we can't avoid wars and murder and other things. Hell I killed myself, just not humans, but still I'm sort of a killer. But I don't know if I would say that my world is the cruelest just because we kill more than we actually should. But there is always the factor that we don't have all eternity to figure out how we should live our lives, some of them unfortunately choose the wrong path.

And then there is the population thing, there are over six billion humans on earth and maybe like what? A few hundred thousands of your kind? And let me tell you something else because you know? I've been here for like what a week maybe two? I can't tell since you guys live in the fucking underground and maybe even pretend to sleep in fucking coffins which I wouldn't mind in the slightest, just the fact that you guys are alive is the big deal here for me. But what I definitely would say is that you are as violent, reckless, selfish, greedy, repulsive and vile as humans can be. You are even worse, I didn't just hunt your kind for the last three months you might think, NO, I started much earlier, almost two years ago actually. So I had enough time to get to know you and your way of life. I can't really say what is worse, that you try to convince me that I'm the part of the monsterworld or that you send vampires out to bring you humans because you are whether to lazy or think you are above all the others here in this very room to do so yourself. And then, draining the bodies to death, but not before you made them willingly through your powers and take eveything they otherwise would never give. I've even seen how you lure the girls out of the clubs, playing all charming and nice, it's just disgusting.

So you're not even as close to harmless as you think you are. Oh and by the way, I think those five vampires might be the only ones in the whole room, who have some conscience. I know that you forced Jasper to be here, I just don't know why because I see you have more than enough followers already which brings me back to the point you are greedy and like to play. I guess the others tried to get him out, but of course you were the one who didn't like the fact that some might operate against you, so you played all bossy, won't give in and just let him go, because you always have to win or something like that. And this stupid bitch..." I pointed to Jane. "is one of the reasons why you always win, because without her, you would be nothing, you couldn't keep them still like you do right now. They would have escaped and you know it as much as I do. Let me guess you hate the fact that they act normal and blend in with the human population, because I can't imagine them living here with you in the underground, Jasper acts to human for that and since the rest of them seem to be his family or friends I'm sure they are the same. And you know something else? You wouldn't even dare to hunt them down if Jane wouldn't be here, because I'm pretty sure most of the vampires here might don't even like you and your fucking coven." Murmurs broke out again, this time a little louder and here and there I could hear "she must have a deathwish" or "what a foolish girl" or "Aro will kill her for this". I didn't care just glanced over to the five captives they looked at me wideeyed, shocked and with disbelief. My beautiful stranger had some weird glimmer in his eyes, he looked stunned and sort of compassionate, his expression left me melting inside.

_What is it with this guy? How can he have such a reaction on me? But just because of their expressions I know that I'm right what I said and that is very sad. I hate the so called masters even more for that._

"Bella, Bella, Bella, you really are a special human, but also very foolish. You shouldn't underestimate our powers. But lets get back to what we are here for." Aro's voice was deep and nasty. And the fact he didn't talk about it at all, but continued, just confirmed everything was true. He snapped his fingers and the whole room became silence again. From behind I saw people stepped to the side while they turned their heads. I got nervous and hated to be the centerpiece of the whole show and hoped they don't have some other nasty surprise for me that comes through the crowd.

As the motion of sidestepping vampires made it's way to the inner circle, I could already take a hint of what or who came through. It was Jason, my Jason, with his pale skin he looked like all the others, flawless and gorgeous. My heart sped up, I was excited and curious, but was sad all the same.

Finally he stepped out of the crowd, keeping the altar between us. I met his eyes and froze, they were pitch black just like the others. I should have known he wouldn't keep his brown eyes and I most definitely should be used to it by now, but it was the first time I saw my friend like this and it was really creepy for the moment. We stared at each other and I heard my stranger growled which brought me out of my trance. I didn't know what to do, the sight of my friend could've made me cry, but I was somehow scared of him, even though I was glad to see him standing upright. But still he wasn't human anymore, so I kept my distance. Then Jason suddenly smiled at me, showing fangs, I couldn't help it and stepped back even though his smile was all friendly and kind of familiar.

"Hi sweety, I'm so happy that you are still alive, I thought I would never see you again after they catched me. I knew you were there, when I, when I changed, I heard you talking to me, but I couldn't answer, it was too painful. You know this feeling is kind of amazing, my senses are much more enhanced, it's undescribable. I can hear everything, every single tiny movement in this room, I can tell you where spiders and ants crawl, where flies fly. Colors are much more powerful. My sight is incredible, I can see all the grooves in the altar, or the fibers of your clothes. But the best part is the smell, every one of us has fragrances I didn't even know of. Perfume would be needless if the humans would know how they really smell. I love your scent, you reek of jasmine and orange, but I can also smell lavender on you. I can hear the sound of your blood pumping through your veins, your heartbeat, which is quiet irregular right now. I would love to hold you, embrace you, I can't even tell you how much I've missed you. But as incredible as these new senses are, one thing will never change and that is the bloodlust. I really need all my strength to control myself right now, which is quiet hard actually, even though I've drank so much. It's really painful, I mean the scorching throat."

I took a deep breath, his revelation, let me step back a little further. I didn't like what he said, at least the last part. The feeling in my gut wasn't the one I expected or hoped wouldn't show. I really was afraid of my friend, uncertain what to do about him. And as much as I felt the strong affection for him and relief that he was alright, the sane part of me hesitated and told me to be careful.

_Oh god he drank...he drank blood. It's so weird. _

"Hi Jason, nice to see you are, well alive would be the wrong word I guess. It's weird to see you like this, your eyes are quiet scary and all. Well the thing with the hug, I think we shouldn't do that. I don't really know what to say to you. God that's all so weird. I missed you too and I'm glad you doing alright, if you could even say that in your situation. You were right, I have been with you the whole time while you changed and trust me, it was the hardest thing I've had to do. I'm sorry to say this but I really didn't want to see you but those bloodsuckers didn't give me chance."

He frowned at me, looked suddenly sad and nodded slightly at me. I didn't want to hurt him like this, but he was a vampire now and I had to be attentive. I honestly and deeply grieved about this situation. I wondered how his life will be in the furture, what he will do. Besides being a guardian for those bloodsuckers. I asked myself if he will regret his decision, his decision made under mere torture and mortal injuries. And if he would have prefered to die after all?

"Bella, I'm sorry what happened, I should have never taken you with me, you are to young for all this, you should go to school, to college, have friends, go out to party, have a normal life. I can't make up for all the despair I've caused you. I know it's too late now. I hope you can forgive me?"

I was surprised, puzzled and even sadder. He still acted like my guardian, my brother, always trying to protect me. Images of us swept through my mind. How he trained me, how we laughed, how we were both injured afterwards, how he cared, how he embraced me after I woke up from another nightmare, how we went shopping, or on vacation, how we sat in the kitchen and talked for hours. The realization was there already, but somehow after I've seen the pictures in my head, the awarness of the whole situation hit me even more and I knew I can't let him go, I needed him in my life as much as he did me, vampire or not, I won't leave him here alone, because if I would he would become just like them, a monster, a reckless and selfish bastard. But not as long as I live and can prevent that from happening.

In my chest loomed an aching, stabbing pain, I held a hand to my heart and tried to keep at least my breathing under control, I couldn't talk, couldn't move and my eyes burned while I tried to blink my coming tears away. My voice quivered but I didn't care. I needed him to know. "I...I...I can't leave you, never ever, even if that means I have to stay here for my lifetime. There is nothing to be sorry for, it was always my decision to make. We went through this so many times already, you can't protect me from everything. Therefore there is nothing to forgive, you didn't really choose this life and we both know it, even though somebody else here might think different. You know, I can't live without you? It's like a course to be with you or something. But I don't care, you are my life, even if I miss my dad and Michael, but I know I won't see them ever again. I know you are different now, but in some way you are still the same person and I make it my new purpose to keep it that way. I don't want you to become one of those monsters, not as long as I live. So you don't get rid of me, you'll learn to control you thirst and I help you as much as I can."

Jasons features changed with every word of mine, he looked as if he wanted to cry. I saw awarness, sorrow, despair and the most important for me, relief. It intensified my decision even more so, because I knew he didn't want to be here, but got no other chance anymore. It was not just my living hell from now on, we both shared the same feeling and I knew I would always love him, vampire or not. At that moment another realization hit, or not completely because I actually knew it, but those five vampires, were really more human than bloodsucker, because if Jason can keep up being normal why shouldn't others? And they despite the masters as much as Jason and I do, which made them even more likable for me. Suddenly I wanted to help them as well, I wanted to keep them alive. Why should they die? There is no reason. Just because Aro is a sadist and can't give in? No, they don't deserve it.

_Bella, how come you changed so much, helping vampires? But it feels right and I know it would piss the Volturi off, that alone is reason enough for me to do so. And since my friend is one of the undead now himself, how can I not change my mind about them, at least a little bit?_

" Bella! I...I...don't know what to say, it's more than touching what you offer, but you don't belong here.

It's too dangerous for a human to be here, hell I just told you I'm in deep pain right now. And I could never bear to hurt you just because I can't control my thirst. It would brake my heart to see you suffering. I don't want this life for you, I don't want you to hate me one day, because you regret the decision you've made. Eventually it could always happen that I loose control and bite you, that would destroy me, even if it wouldn't kill you and more important change you, but still that would be the lowest point ever. I could never look into your eyes ever again."

Now my tears came freely, I breathed deep in and out, in and out. I was so close to loose it, to brake right here in front of everybody. I knew at some point Jason was right, but I didn't want to think about him drinking of me. I couldn't and wouldn't let go of him.

"No you know I'm stubborn, I always was and will be, you can't change my mind, I wouldn't say I don't care what you said, but it's more important for me to keep you sane. I really despise the Volturi, what they do, how they live. And anyway they wouldn't let me go, you know that as much as I do, so there is no other choice."

His eyes were full of regret, but awareness showed in them and I knew he knew that I was right. He actually sighed and lowered his. And then Aro spoke again, I hated his voice, I hated him so much that my blood boiled.

"Oh that was so sweet, really emotional and dramatic, this whole reunion thing between you two. I'm actually disappointed. Your friend here shouldn't be in so much self-control, after all he is few hours old and I really thought he would jump you as soon as he sees you or lets say smells you. It might have something to do that you guys spent so much time with us over the years. So you've learned how to stay calm and controlled. But still I thought he would react different, giving us a bit action here. Well I guess, today I don't get my way, right?" Jason and I looked at each other, we both were ready to kill, I smiled to myself as I saw my friends hatred for the masters.

_He still hasn't changed, not at all. What the heck, he is a vampire and? He is my friend and will always be that. Gosh how I missed him._

"You are sick, you are a sadistic bastard. But what should I expect from someone like you?" Aro rose from his chair and walked towards me. His stride more floating and gliding. My gorgeous stranger growled again and then yelled out. I wondered what was going on, what Jane did to him, to them? I didn't step back or moved, just waited. When he stood one armlength away form me, he stretched his hand out and touched my chin, a cold shover ran through me, his fingers ice cold and the sense of it uncomfortable. He tilting my head up so that I met his eyes.

"You can course and swear as much as youn want, but you said it for yourself, I am always getting what I want. And you just made your decision, you want to stay human and so it will be. Many of us will enjoy you. But before I think I play a little bit myself, after all Jason didn't do as I expected, but I'll see to it." His voice made me anxcious and what he said even more. I didn't even realized that I made a final decision in his case. I just saw Jason and all I thought was to help him, not being the vampire pet for everybody who wants me.

**Review, Review, Review, Review, Review, Review Pleaaaaaaaaase. I've never been a fan of threats, but maybe I should start just like so many others and stop updating until I've got some REVIEWS!**


	14. Chapter 14: Nightmare all over again

**Thanks for the review shadownip :-) .... I know I didn't update for the last two weeks, but I was very busy and I wanted to see if somebody else might review, but of course there was non. And I thought it is rude not to update. You could say I just do that for you right now, so enjoy :-)**

**But thanks to all the others who added me to their story alerts and favorites nonetheless, but please review as well. **

Bella's PoV

I grew tense as Aro walked back to his chair and casually sat down, a nasty smile on his face. When I glanced over to Jason, he looked so furious, that some might think he would start to spit fire every second. I felt how a deep rage for these creatures welled up inside of me. Not knowing what will happen made me mad, I knew it wouldn't be something I'd like. These vampires always had some nasty stuff on their minds and Aro was more than determined to see me brake even though he loved my temper, but he made it his new game how long it would take for me to give up. Although he never said it out loud, but I certainly knew it, that's how he is and how he spents his boring vampire life. Letting others suffer and take control over them.

He glanced around to all the vampires and as if on cue they all moved backwards, giving me even more space than wanted and therefore making me even more nervous. That couldn't be a good sign, could it?

Jason didn't take his eyes off the wanna be kings on the platform, he obviously didn't like the new situation any more than me. From the right I thought I've heard a sudden loud it sounded like a No but I wasn't sure and let it pass, too concentrated on the vampire in front of me. But when an agonized cry followed I finally glanced over to where the sound came from. It was the little black haired girl from the strangers group. Her features showed furrowed lines as if in pain, but also shock and something else I couldn't quite make out. She literally glared at me, didn't take her eyes off.

Then I heard another growl, it sounded actually more like a roar from the beautiful god, which was also followed by an agonized cry.

My eyes moved back to Jane, I knew it was her who inflicted the pain. It made me angry and I would have loved to scratch the smug smile out of her pretty face. She would definitely deserve it. Our eyes met, hers glimmered, she had an imperious glance in them and my uneasiness grew. _What is that look? It's terrifying really. _

Jane narrowed her eyes and gave Aro a sudden nod, as if in agreement or something, although they never spoke. So I guessed they must have spoken mentally. It must be possible, there wasn't much left, that could surprise me anymore. But still I frowned and moved my eyes around, to see if something else might have happened. The crowd of vampires didn't move, they were still as stones. I sighed, I've never been a patient person when it came to waiting and right at this moment it was sheer torture for my nerves.

And as I saw Jason standing there watching me, the same questioning expression on his face, his hair all messy, as if he just ran his hands through. He looked so normal, as nothing had changed, even though his skin was different, but he still had this soothing, lovely smile and I wanted to go to him, hold him and calm myself in his embrace as so many times in the past. He gave me an apologetic look, as if he knew what I was thinking, exactly like old times. It always had been like this, he somehow always knew when I needed a hug and comfort.

The memory brought me close to tears again and I felt like somebody squeezed my lungs. Even though I promised him and me, to help, to stay and do everything it would take to keep him sane. But still there was the uncertainty and angst.

I was so preoccupied in my thoughts that I didn't realized Jason started to walk towards me, just as he stood mere inches away and I had to look up at him to meet his eyes again. My heart sped up at the first glimse. His eyes weren't just black anymore, they looked forlorn but filled with lust and hunger, that of a predator. I stepped back and he followed. My breath shortened, I was terryfied and nervous, kept my eyes focused on his.

"What are you doing Jason? You scare me, please step back, don't come any closer, that's already enough!" But just as I said it he lunged out and slapped me in the face with so much force that I fell several feet backwards and landed right in the middle of the steps. I heard something crack as the edges bored into my rear, sending numbing and searing pain through my spine.

I could taste blood in my mouth and lay my head back on top of the steps, trying to breath, my limps were stretched out downwards on the cold stone. I pulled my legs up and pushed myself up on my hands, very slowly. The aching made it hard to move at all, but I ignored it as much as possible.

When I finally stood upright again and stepped forward, I looked up to my friend, he stood still at the same spot as I had been a few seconds before. The only difference, he held a very long sword in his hand. I shivered with fear and couldn't believe he just attacked me. Reluctantly I didn't want to believe, he might have just played with me and wasn't any better than all the others after all.

_It can't be true? His features were so...so...so just like him. He smiled at me, he said he was sorry, he even showed me, that he still cared. Why is he attacking me now? Was it just a game after all? But why did Aro say, he expected differently right from the beginning? Or do they all toy with me? Gosh my back hurts, I can barely move, without new pain. What am I gonna do? Is he going to attack me again? Well why else should he have a sword? Fuck how am I suppose to defend myself, isn't that already enough that he's got vampire powers? I can't believe it! I can't just fight my friend can I? Jason why? Just tell me why? _

"Jason what are you doing, put the weapon down. You don't want to do this. What is about the things you told me?" My voice came out in gasps, still trying to ignore the pain that crawled constantly through my body.

He didn't answer just looked at me, with his black predator eyes, didn't move either. Out of the corners of my eyes I saw another vampire coming my way, also with a sword and two wooden sticks in his hand.

_Great, isn't one already enough? Maybe I can get to the sticks? That would help me a lot. But how can I possibly can grip them out of the vampire?_

I awaited him to attack me as well, but all the vampire did was throwing the three weapons to the ground in front of me and went back to the inner circle of the group. I frowned at him, but didn't need another invitation. I picked the wodden sticks up and tucked them in my boots, my breath hitched at the pain but then I grabbed the sword anyway, I had to hold it in two hands. Jason just needed one, well of course he did, he was a vampire, right?

I tried to concentrate and remembered what he teached me during the endless hours of training and injuries. First I focused on Jason, the task that lay before me and took deep breaths.

My brain worked different angles and possibilities how to act if he should strike again, but still I couldn't completely comprehend that it was all just a con. I wouldn't believe it. I tried not to think about it, looked him in the eyes and waited. Many thoughts kept my mind occupied. The most important, what will happen, what will I do?

Seconds and minutes passed until Jason walked towards me again, in human speed, obviously wanting to take time . I maintained my own sword in a position that ran from the bottom of my torso to the top of my head, elbows bent. Trying to be able to respond to any of his attacks. I was frightened to the bone and my heart hammered in my chest. It was uncomfortable for me, that I might have to fight my friend.

He thrust forward, his blade directly aimed at my heart. I acted more out of reflex than defens, thanks to all the tormenting hours of training. I turned the blunt side of my sword toward Jason and swept outward to push it to the right. Luckily he also just hit me with human force, which confused me even more eventually, but saved my life nonetheless.

He growled with rage and lashed out again, faster this time. He stroke diagonally downward, I edged my blunt upward, trying to block his blow. Our blades met and made a loud clattering sound. I felt the force right through my arms and trembled. New stinging pain shot through my back, I held my breath and clenched my teeth not to cry out.

Jason pushed me backwards with his free hand and striked again. Raising his blade high above his head, brought it down rapidly. I tried to dodge and block his blow with my own weapon but his strength overpowered mine. The force cut my sword in two. I sidestepped a little and he sliced deep through flesh and tendons from my left shoulder down to my breast. I cried out in agony as blood gushed out of my skin, the wound burned like hell. I pressed my right hand against the open injury, let the rest of my blade drop to the ground. The crowd around us roared in anticipation.

I looked Jason in the eyes and waited for him to kill me, his face held a smug smile and he inhaled deeply. But instead, he throw his weapon to the ground and stood very still for a moment.

_Gosh Jason I can't believe this, you will be the person who kills me? _

"Bella common let's have a hand to hand fight, I always loved it." He said it as if it was all fun and not serious. As if it wasn't like he attempted to kill me. As if he really didn't care at all. The other vampires applauded at his suggestion. I sighed and shook my head in dismay, but stepped forward.

The physical pain was overwhelming, but the emotional even worse. I felt a big lump in my lungs, tried to ignore the still seeping blood and took my position, ready to fight for my life, my focus never left my opponent.

I hesitated, so he punshed first and right into my face again, pain exploded in my head. I blinked my eyes several times to clear my vision. Then I charged back, he didn't even try to block and I hit him full force. Blood spattered as my fist met his nose, braking bones and not only his. My knuckles were sore and turned already blue and red. It was as if I hit a brick wall. The pain tingled up my arm and sweat built on my forehead.

_I really start hating you. Friend or not. You don't give a shit. At least you could have pretended that you cared that I just broke you fucking nose. Gosh how could I be so blind? I should have known better, he is not Jason anymore, you need to except that Bella._

He stuck anew, still with almost human strength. I dodged and kicked his legs out under him, send him flying to the ground. Then I remembered I still got the wooden sticks, I pulled one out of my boot, ignoring the ache as I clenched my fingers of my broken hand around it.

But Jason was already up and attacked, his hand fastened around my throat with a grip like a vise and pulled me upward, so that my feet where above the ground. I struggled against him, kicked him eventually in his groins. Even a vampire didn't like that and he let go off me instantly, I charged back and thrust the stick into his chest, but not all the way through the heart, I couldn't do it. I hesitated as his blood ran out of him, smeared his clothes and my hands. I stared at the wound and stepped back, shocked about what I just did.

Still I didn't want to see him dead, even after all he did already. I felt regret and when I looked up, I was even more confused. His eyes were still the ones of a betrayer but held also relief and gratefulness. I frowned at him, didn't know what is true and what isn't. He almost looked like he thanked me for stabbing him, but why? I pulled the stick out of his chest again and he dropped to the floor, he wasn't dead, just badly injured for the next few minutes.

I sank to the ground myself, I felt dizzy and so dreadful and ashamed that I really just tried to kill my friend. I was irritated, his eyes gave me confidence and courage again, somehow, that he isn't lost yet. But why did he attack in the first place? I couldn't understand but wanted it so badly. My cheeks were already wet from all the tears I shared. Then I remembered my stab wound, it still bled, which wasn't good at all, I felt how weak I suddenly was and that my left arm slowly but surely got numb and my back hurt, hell my whole body was one aching limp.

I watched Jason, he started to heal already and in a few minutes there wouldn't even be a scar left.

_I can't do this anymore. I don't understand what's going on here. I am sure of what I saw in his eyes? Why would he attack? Enjoy it even. And then he would be grateful for being dead in the end? And why did he fought with mostly human strength. Alright I guess that was just to have more fun, or maybe not? Does he hate himself so much now that he would rather die? But still why attack me first? Why don't just say anything? Ahhhhh it doesn't make sense._

I took a deep breath and blew out slowly, the smell of blood lay thick in the air. My shirt was soaked in blood from the cut wound. I pressed my hand against my injured shoulder, squeezed my eyes at the throbbing agony, my fingers got all greasy and slippery because of the blood. Every movement was a torture and I groaned and moaned in pain.

_Oh my god, all the blood? All the vampires? What are they gonna do? Is Jason the one who just batters me enough, just for the spectacle and fun of it and then I'm going to be the living blood spender? No, No, No, before that happens, I have to make sure I am dead. _

Jason rose, my eyes moved along with him, the only indication that he had been injured was the hole and blood in his shirt. His glare was dreadful. I heard some protests and shrieks in the background, but didn't dare to look. My focus was all on the vampire in front of me.

He inhaled deeply and his fangs lengthened. My heart stopped for a second and in a flash he grabbed my right arm and pulled me upright, licking the blood off my fingers and moaned. The sight of it made me sick, it was too disgusting. The shock of it went through my whole body, I shivered and tried to get away, but he just tightened his grip on my wrist until it hurt.

"You taste so good, it can make somebody really addictive." Then he licked his way up my arm. I swallowed hard, it was so intimidating and gross, I struggled as hard as I could but he didn't let go. His free hand actually stroked over my back and pulled me even closer, locking me to him. My head buried in his chest. I pushed with all my strength against him as his hand slid up and down my side, my ribcage, my waist.

Suddenly he looked at me, his eyes intense and hungry. He pushed me backwards and I flew a second time into the steps, I yelled out, searing pain shot through me. My back felt as if on fire, everything throbbed. I grunted and tried to breathe, but it got harder and harder.

Jason jumped me like an animal its prey, pushing the stone edges even farther into my flesh. Caging me with his body, his knees on either side of my hips on one step. One hand next to my head, the other tight around my right upper arm. I was terrified, I trembled, I shivered. I squeezed my eyes shut, my injured arm felt dull, my dizziness increased.

I felt his hand sliding the neckline of my shirt, then smoothed it to the side, eventually ripped it open. His mouth followed at the hollow of my shoulder, his teeth skraping my skin, his tongue stoked over my wound, licking and swallowing the blood. He tilted my head, exposing my throat even more.

The lump in my lungs was bigger than ever, my tears fell freely down my cheeks, the shock sat deep within. I couldn't move, couldn't believe what happens, couldn't contemplate what he will do.

Then I felt how his teeth tore through my skin and flesh. I cried out once at the searing pain, felt how he sucked my blood, how he drained me. He moaned and growled in the back of his throat. Fed voraciously, a wild animal out of control. I struggled against the pain, against his body locking me, against the defenselessness. I felt my strength slowly but surely fading away, I welcomed the hopefully soon coming blackness.

Jason must have sensed it or something, because he suddenly pulled away, big black eyes starring at me, several emotions shown in them. He looked apologetic and sorrowful but hungry and angry nonetheless. I couldn't comprehend and understand his expression, all I felt was pain and weak.

My eyes widened in shock as I felt his hand sliding up my leg, over my calf, my knee, under my skirt and up my thigh. I pressed my legs toghether, not wanting him to go any farther. I thought it couldn't get any worse than it already was, but never say never.

He growled at me and I became very still for the moment. With the hand he kept next to my head, he parted my legs in addition with one of his knees. The effort to fight against him, brought more pain. I couldn't prevent him from doing so and especially not in my current condition, muscles ached.

I panicked, my heart sped up and my breath shortened, I trembled, more tears followed and I said in a hoarse and desperate voice. "Jason, please don't, don't do this. Jason please, please." He stopped, looked over my body as I shivered. His hand moved slowly behind my left knee and bent it, spread my legs further.

Presentiment of what will come broke my heart. _He was my friend, my father, he can't possibly do this? Oh gosh Jason please stop. If you go any further....it never has been like this between us.... I can't go through that all over again. Not this time, not you. Not ever. I feel so sick, churned up. I don't have the strength to fight anymore. That is my end here and now. Why don't you stop, how could you?_ Suddenly I felt him tremble, felt him stop touching me and I stared him in the eyes. There it was again, his apologetic look, his sorrow.

Then Jason tilted his head down to my stomach, stroked my exposed skin with his tongue, the feeling so abhorrent and breathtaking, that I squeezed my eyes. He let go off my arm, that was now bruised from his tight grip and cupped my breast through my shirt, he groaned, massaged and nipped. I hated the sensation, it made my inside churn and throw me back almost two years ago. The flashback hit hard. The images mixed with the present. The despair, grief and pain came to the surface again, left me undefended and miserable, hopeless and broken. I couldn't move, didn't try to prevent Jason from his goal anymore. I finally gave in, lay still, so very still.

While he obviously enjoyed the feeling of my breasts, his other hand ripped my panties, leaving me wide open for him. He groaned and moaned some more. His fingers stroked my inner thigh, I swallowed hard, the pounding in my head increased as did the nauseous feeling. I hoped for unconsciousness, for death, for everything that would and could numb my feelings, senses and anything else in me....but it didn't come, I had to endure it.

I felt Jason struggle again, moved his trembling hand down my leg instead up like I thought he would. I felt him pulling something out of my boot and remembered that I had a second stick. Totally unexpected, he tucked it in my broken hand, closed my fingers around it. I opened my eyes again, looked at him in confusion. He lowered his head next to my ear while he kept on touching my breasts and started with the other still trembling hand stroking my core. My breath hitched, made a whimpering sound, tried to move my hips but couldn't escape anyway. It was as close as I never wanted to become with him. I felt so dirty, exposed, like a slut.

But then he suddenly whispered. "Bella I am so very sorry, I try hard not to do this but it hurts. Forgive me, please kill me, I can't hold back much longer before I, before I...., I can never ever forgive myself for what I already did." My eyes widened in shock, a cold shower went through me, my heart stopped for a second. I clenched my fingers around the wooden stick and groaned as my broken knuckles screamed with pain.

_What? What did he say? But...but....how?_

As the realization finally hit, I tilted my head and glanced over at Jane. She looked exhausted, deeply concentrated and kept her eyes focused on us, or more on Jason. I somehow knew, she was doing this, she is torturing Jason and therefore me with her powers.

My blood started to boil with rage. My breathing got shallow. I wanted to kill her, to rip her throat out, to let her suffer, I swore, she would die for that.

I stiffened as Jason's fingers thrust into my dry core. I bit my tongue but nonetheless a wail of pain escaped my throat. He pulled out and pushed back inside several times, his nails scraped my walls, left a burning feeling behind. I arched my back, squirmed, started to struggle again, wanted him to stop. My body was weak, quite drained out, knew that I lost too much blood.

He fought hard, I felt it, but Jane was too strong. The feeling was excruciating, so very intimate, denuded and exposed, shame washed over me. That was the end of it all, I grimaced with disgust, felt so humiliated, I hated myself, hated him....Jason, whose fingers agonized me, destroyed me all over again.

I tried to stay sane, tried to remember that it wasn't his fault, that he is not the one who is willingly doing this.

Sighing, I gathered my last strength, tried to clean the fuzziness and hatred in my head. I wouldn't kill him but hurt though. I bent my elbow, slid my hand very close to my heart and pushed the stick right into his chest. He screamed, pulled his fingers out immediately and dropped on top of me.

I gasped and winced as his weight pressed me down into the edges of the steps again. His blood smeared my hands and clothes once more. Then I tried to push him off me, but it was easier thought than done. Through my weakened state, it was almost impossible to move at all. I pulled my legs up as much as doable and slid my hands on either side of his shoulders, then I pushed with all my might. After several attempts and minutes later, eventually I lay almost on top of Jason chest, breathed hard, actually panted, as if I ran for miles or like an old women. And since it was the only noise in the room, because I was the only human who needed to breathe, it seemed even louder and creepier.

First I pulled the stick out of my friends chest so that he may heal and then tried to gather enough strength to get up which seemed even harder than before. I wanted to sleep, my lids got heavier with each passing minute. Every time I tried to lift my head, it dropped back down, as if the weight was suddenly to much to bear, so I tilted it to the side instead.

I met Jane's gaze, she looked shocked, furious and sulky. Apparently she thought I would kill Jason for what he did. Actually, she didn't like it in the slightest, regarding her pout, she looked like a child that didn't get it's toy.

And besides all the aching, pain and weary condition I was in, her face made me smile and brought some energie back. After all I hated her guts even more than Phil's if that was even possible. A part of me gave up already, didn't want to live anymore, didn't see any sense in life anymore, but even my body held so much anger and bloodlust for this fucking, stupid and manipulative bitch, that I wanted her dead first before I say goodbye to the world.

Eventually I did push myself up, trembled while I did but moved forward nonetheless. I must have looked like a zombie as I dragged myself towards the altar, bent forward, my arms hung limb at my sides. Every stride hurt, my body felt so heavy, my lungs ached with every labored breath I took. But somehow it gave me energie. I even found the strength to pick the other stick up from the ground.

My eyes locked with Jane's all the time, my mind blind except for the deadly desire to kill the vampire and send her to hell all over again. I coughed to clear my throat, my voice strained.

"You know bitch, after Phil I really thought there is nobody else I hate more in the world, but YOU, you did the impossible. I don't care if I die, life doesn't mean anything to me anymore, but I swear, I won't leave this world without you and if that means I have to become a vampire myself, so be it. Like it is Aro's game to brake me rather sooner than later, mine is to kill you. And trust me, it won't be fast, I'll torture you in every possible way I can come up with. You will scream and beg me to end your life after I am done with you.

You might be strong and have a lot of powers, but it's obviously your lucky day that all that doesn't mean shit to me, because it doesn't work. You will rue the day you made me to your enemy. It's a shame that you are such a coward, that you don't have enough stamina to fight me. No, you are so weak that you need others to do so for you. I knew something was wrong when Jason suddenly fought against me and honestly, I was at the point where I truly believed he played with me, but then he struggled long enough to tell me, that it's not him. Too bad for you my dear and lovely Jane, now you pay and I will enjoy it." I stopped at the altar, had to grab it, to keep me upright.

Jane looked enraged ready to jump. "You shouldn't make empty promises. Instead you should look at yourself. So fragile and weak. You can barely stay on your human legs. How could you possibly fight me in that state? It would take me less than a second to kill you." She actually started to laugh. The sound echoed through the hall, rang in my ears.

"Funny that you say that, I should laugh, really, even now, that I am in such a bad condition you are scared like shit to fight me. I must be pretty intimidating to you and I thought I look like a zombie already." I smirked at her.

Then in one moment I heard a loud growl and in the next, Jane was on top of me, punshing and scratching the hell out of me. Each blow radiated searing, piercing pain through my body until I felt just numb and tasted blood in my mouth. I closed my eyes, darkness crawled it's way slowly but surely up my body, I reached out, welcomed it even, told myself I can endure every physical torture until I could leave in peace. I waited and waited.

Unfortunately, unconsciousness didn't come as I wished, I was still awake somehow, even though I couldn't feel anything else except numbness. I felt like floating somewhere. Maybe I was dreaming, or in a world between dead and life, I couldn't tell. My senses weren't function normal. Everything was so dark. Somehow I felt lighter, the pressure on my stomach wasn't as much as seconds or minutes before. I had a weird taste in my mouth, it was thick, metallic, salty and sweet, like sugar was added? The only thing was, my own blood didn't taste so sweet. But I swallowed nonetheless, not that I had any control over it anyway, my throat burned, so I welcomed the liquid, eased the aching a bit. From the far distance I could hear some sound, but couldn't tell what, it was dull and hollow.

_Maybe I am dead after all? Maybe this is how it feels? But where is the white light? Why is it all dark, why can't I feel my body? Aren't I suppose to walk somewhere? I feel so strange. I am awake and not awake._

My senses became more alert, I felt a rush of energie ran through me. The noises got louder and more focused, but not enough to hear what it was. Parts of my body tingled and throbbed. Mostly the prickling sense, seemed to be in my face, arms, chest and back. The numbness slowly faded away, I felt pain, very light pain, it was more like a nagging and gnawing, but not uncomfortable. I started to breathe again, or so I thought, because I felt the cold air in my lungs again. Before that there was somehow nothing, just stillness. The liquid stopped floating down my throat.

Then I became aware of the first real sounds. They were voices...Jane's. "You gonna pay for that vampire." I heard a smirk and then Jason's voice, it was so calming to hear it. "Oh we will see about that, won't we?" That was when I finally opened my eyes.

I was laying on the floor in the central hall, I felt more than just fine, totally energetic and pushed. Like on drugs, but much better. Out of the corners of my eyes I could see the vampires around me. Their expressions were so different, there was anger, uncertainty and curiosity. The altar was right in front, so I couldn't see the masters. I pushed myself up, so fast and so much force that I was standing upright instead of sitting. As much as I was surprised over the sudden speed, awarness came right after and not just of what had happened. They gave me vampire blood, that was certain. My enhanced abilities felt good. It took me a second to realize what was going on. Aro, Caius and Marcus where standing behind the altar, they looked oh so furious and growled, as if they wanted to strike. It was quite funny to see them like that. I actually laughed, at the sight they made, before I turned around.

My eyebrows arched, the sight was even more suprising. Excitement and curiosity washed through me.

Jason stood with Jane against his chest, one arm around her throat and in the other he held a wooden stick, aimed at her heart. His smile widened, showing fangs. I grinned back at him and just shook my head.

The five strangers stood with him in a circle, facing the big crowd surrounding us, obviously free off Jane's torture. I sighed with relief, it made me happy to see them alright. Jasper held Demetri in the same position as Jason did Jane, he smiled at me. The black haired girl had a sword in her hand and the blond model, held the broke one. The muscled guy stood in a crouched position as did the gorgeous, to beautiful for this world man. Our eyes met and my heart made a flip. I frowned at my own reaction to him, it was just too weird. He looked relieved but distressed all the same.

Then Jason spoke. "Sorry Bella, but I couldn't let you die. I gave you some of my blood. It was instinctively, didn't even know what I am doing, but it worked." He sounded so sorrowful and apologetic. I knew that this wasn't the only thing he was sorry about and that we have to talk about it later. A part of me blamed him for what he did, though it was unfair and rightless and the sane part of me knew that. I hated myself for it, tried to put the feeling aside, but it never really vanished. And it made me even more miserable and ashamed of myself, that he saved my life. I should be grateful and overly thankful for that and not angry and devastated. But there was this tiny little spot inside of me, that wanted to die and finally leave this horrible place and he just took this decision from me again.

"There is nothing to be sorry for, not from your side at least. Nothing of what had happened was your fault. Let's talk about it later. I think we have other things to do right now." He sighed and lowered his head, but nodded. I knew my voice didn't sound convincing, it was more a rush of words, just to say something at all. It made me even more guilty, but the timing was off at that moment and we really had to get out of here.

**Review, Review, Review Please**


	15. Chapter 15: Edwards point of view

**I'm sorry it took me so long, but I really was busy and I was on vacation. **

**This chapter is actually nothing completely new, it is Edward's point of view, from where he left Bella in the hallway. I thought it interesting to see what happened to him and his family during the whole drama. **

**So I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to shadownip again of course and sorry for my grammar mistakes. I try my best to improve it, so if you could tell me what especially is wrong, would help me a lot :-)**

**But other than that, please review and keep reading my story :-)**

Edward's PoV

As I ran back to my family, couldn't get the girl, no, Bella out of my head. I cursed myself for the things I had in mind. The beast wants her blood, badly. It was never that hard and disturbing to leave a human behind without taking blood. Hers smelled so wonderful, luring and oh so fantastic, like my very own, just made for me, drug, that keeps me calling. And it wasn't just her blood, no, it was herself as well, so wonderfully beautiful. Her image locked in my mind as clear as the real Bella would be.

I think it was the first time in my over 100 years, that I was glad to have the powers I have. Without Alice, I couldn't have controlled myself for much longer and it scared the hell out of me. I really thought I'm over this. This state of cold blooded frenzy, lust and thirst. But this girl just scattered my whole being which wasn't very comfortable and something inside of me, was very angry because of it.

Suddenly I almost bumped into Alice, while I was so occupied, thinking about Bella. She swore. "Watch out cloud nine, don't you have eyes, no I guess not anymore?" She actually giggled and I growled at her annoying comment but let it go, she just rolled her eyes and punched me in the chest. "I couldn't believe what I saw. Don't you ever dare to scare me like this again. I really thought you can't control yourself, what is wrong with you?" Now I rolled my eyes.

"Oh don't even start, I damned myself already a lot for what I wanted to do, it wasn't like I did it on purpose or even planned on doing so. My bloodlust got so bad, as if I just got transformed. Her blood smells like nobody elses, it's hypnotizing and it scares the hell out of me. I am glad I have the powers of mindreading, because without you, I think, I think, I actually don't even wanna think about it anymore what I would have done. So thank you." But just the thought left me shuddered. My pixy sister gave me an understanding smile and I was grateful she didn't nag me about it any further.

"So I am going to get Bella myself and you just go back to the rest of our siblings and help them, but I think they had a lot of fun without you already. So just meet me in a few minutes, alright, there are others here, a lot others, so we really need to hurry."

I wanted to say something but Alice started to scream, it was so ear-piercing, that I really trembled. She sank to the floor in a fetal position and pressed her palms against her temples. Totally alert, I tried to get in her head, but that was a bad idea. There was pain, so much pain it was tearing at my heart. She couldn't think about anything, her mind was blank, besides the shooting, stabbing and gnawing pain. I tried to pick her up but in that very moment, my own head started to hurt. It felt like thousand of thousand needles, it was excruciating. I clenched my teeth, but moaned in pain nonetheless.

_Oh god what is that? _I couldn't concentrate, couldn't move, didn't feel anything except pain. I pressed my own hands to my temples and tried to ease some of it, but of course it didn't work.

After I don't know how long it lasted, the stabbing disapeared as fast as it came and I immediately sensed another vampire close by. Fully alerted and angry, I got up, pulled Alice with me. Obviously she felt better too, she was furious and showed it in her voice. "What the hell was that? That wasn't just a sudden weakness, it was another vampire and I am pretty sure it is the one who comes right our way, she will pay for that, gosh that hurt, I never felt so much pain in my whole life and I had a fucking long life by now." It was a menacing statement. My little sister might be small, but that doesn't hinder her from being a bad ass from time to time.

Laughs echoed through the halls as the woman came around the corner. Jane really was something to look at, but all the evil that surrounded her, made her ugly and very dangerous. It was all over her face, there wasn't anything friendly about her expression. My sister and I growled at the same time as she stood a few feet away, ready to strike and kill again. "Welcome to our home, I hope you enjoyed your trip?" Her voice was all too sarcastic and overly smug. "But intruding like you did, without notice of your coming to our beloved masters, it is very very rude, I hope I didn't hurt you too much, it was just a part of what I can do to you, so don't even try to do something stupid. The masters have been informed now and they would love to see you, all of you, I made sure the rest of your little gang are, lets say, being wonderfully helped already." Then Jane laughed, it was the one of a witch who could charm even the worst creatures. But I stood my ground, showed my fangs, narrowed my eyes and growled. The attempt to move in Janes mind wasn't very successful, she blocked very good, as an ancient.

Alice send me a message mentally. _" I've seen that we go with her, we don't have a chance, her powers overcome ours, so don't fight it, or do you wish to go through the pain again, well I don't, and trust me when I say, I don't like it anymore than you do and I definitely have a new enemy I wish to kill, but for the moment, we need to go with her. She got the others, she didn't lie about that."_

I groaned, glanced at the pixy and nodded. Jane just smirked and turned around. "I know your powers, so talk as much as you want, but don't try anything, I can easily and with great pleasure, throw you back in searing pain." We followed her, like pets, it was insulting and enraging and she knew it. She made a show out of it, I heard Alice sigh next to me and I just frowned.

_At least we can try, I'm not a fucking pet here to show off, for anybody to see, that this small little raven in front of us, has all the powers. _

I just couldn't bear it anymore. The slow stroll, the overconfidents of Jane, it gnawed on my beast and it wanted out. I knew I was fast when I lunged at her, but just not fast enough. I reached her throat once, but not long enough, to hurt her, it was just a damn scratch, before I sank to the floor again in deep agony. My head felt like it's gonna explode, as if something clawed on it from the inside out. I heard Alice scream, but not what she said. Seconds past before the pain eased and eventually completely disappeared. I was on my feet in a flash, black eyes watching Jane as she gave me a "told you so before" look. Alice put her arms around me and just held on for a moment, as if she needed the assurance that I was alright. _"Damn Edward, please don't do that again, I thought she's going to kill __you, it's actually rather scary, that she could do it, just with her mind. So please, please just let it go for now and be safe. For me, for our family. I don't have the easiest time here either, to just follow her like some slave." _

I swore silently but let it go and just kept on walking. My senses on full alert, the longer we strolled through the hallways. There were so many vampires, woman and man alike, all in one place. I glanced over to my sister and saw the anger in her eyes. I tried to read her thoughts, but she blocked me out, which irritated me rather more.

I tried to reach out and hear what they were talking about, but there wasn't any conversation, at least any loud conversations. But their thoughts told me enough. Most of them were curious about the newling. Others were in total awe of the masters, obviously they haven't seen them before. And some were, you could say shocked, furious and eager, about the three vampires, my family, who intruded the compound and killed their own. It made me even angrier. I tried to concentrate just on my beloved ones.

Rosalie cursed, she was pissed, really pissed, but scared nonetheless, I saw hope that we made it out. I just shook my head at that, how could she even think, that we would leave without her, but I was impressed that she didn't just think about herself. My usually selfish and confident sister loved us after all, sometimes I am really not so sure about it. Emmett, thought almost the same, his images of killing the masters, were so clear as if it really happens. Jasper tried to tune the emotions out, they were so many and too much, he was scared for Alice, they were apart again and he couldn't handle it pretty good. He hoped, she was alright, it was actually sad to feel and see how much love they held for each other.

Then I reached out to the masters. Caius was excited, Marcus seemed bored as always, but Aro had his very own vendetta, he reckoned with the most interesting game in ages. He kept his thoughts very unclear, I knew he did it because of me, he didn't want me to read to much, just what he wanted. Demetri on the other hand showed me everything, his rage, his very determination to kill us. His obedience was completely and free given for his masters. He would do everything, even if that means he get himself killed. It was rather annoying actually, but hey who am I to tell what somebody else should of shouldn't do.

Finally we reached some big metal doors, two guards in cloaks opened them simutaneously. First my eyes went to my family, to ensure myself they were alright. I frowned when I saw them, they were held by the upper arms, they looked, captivated in some way, which was odd. They all had the same position. Alice must have felt or saw my irritation. _"It is Jane, she can't only produce pain, but bent somebody elses will, so she keeps them like this, they can't move." _

I swore, hated the raven even more, she really was one. All dressed in black and her attitude held the very behavior of one. My family was relieved a little as they saw us, aware we weren't harmed in any way. Just our egos due to the intimidating influence from Jane. The masters, especially Aro had this glimmer in the eyes. He couldn't wait, for the show, whatever it was.

The other vampires looked at us of course, followed every stride, with curiosity and anticipation. They all enjoyed it. Obviously their lives were so boring, they really welcomed every single action, whether at other peoples expense or not. It was rather sad, to be so careless and almost cruel.

I smirked at the sight of the masters and Demetri, how they all sat like kings, no, more like gods on their throne like chairs, above all others, to show who rules. Jane led us to our family, snapped her fingers once and two more of those vampire gorillas came through the crowd, they held us like the rest of us. First I struggled and got free and growled at them, but then suddenly I couldn't really move, no matter how much I tried and fought. I looked at the others and saw understanding and helplessness in their eyes. I sighed. It wasn't what I expected, not that I really thought it would be easy to get Jasper out of here, but this? I really underestimated what might or might not happens.

Demetri instantly thought. _"Not so smug yet, huh? Trust me that should be fun today"._ I gave him a death glare and growled, which earned me a sudden pearcing pain, like a sword cutting through my brain. _Shit, shit, shit, I need to find a way to kill that bitch. She is so going to die sooner or later._

Aro hissed at my thought, but I couldn't care less, before he said and oh so politely. "I welcome you my dearest friends. I would have loved and really appreciate it if you would have called before you flew all the way over to us. I wouldn't have denied you to visit your friend, you know, but insulting me, like you did and braking in, that is just unexeptable. The vampires you killed today, were still jung, my children, they never had a chance against all of you. Alone for that I have every reason and right to kill you here and now. The other would be, that you dared to get Jasper out, he made the contract, which is unbreakable unless I release him. So you broke the law twice already and then your threat against my lovely Jane, makes it three. You are really lucky, all of you that I am in a good mood today, in a very good mood indeed."

I swore again, couldn't understand how most of the vampires here, envied and looked up at the masters the way they did. "You know Aro, it is actually all your fault. We tried to talk to you while you were in Forks, but none of you would listen to us. We told you before about Tanya and her rather obsessed mind. But you are so small minded and totally masochistic about your own will, that you would have never listen to us. Your selfish and greedy side in you wouldn't listen. You live for the game, for the fun. So I can just say, you shouldn't have forced Jasper, or threaten us. Of course we would come and free our own. There was no justified reason for you to take him the way you did. And I hope we will find Tanya soon and she will pay for her mistakes and force you to see the mistake you've made."

A flash of light shot through my whole body, it hurt like hell, there was just no way to ignore the pain. _"Edward are you alright?" _I heard everybody of my family ask, along with curses and threats for the masters. I just nodded.

Demetri shook his head and said. "You have a death wish and I am glad to fulfill it. How dare you to speak in that voice to our kings. You should be more respectful, that you are still alive, all of you."

"Just shut up, you are so devoted and completely brainless, don't you see, that you are the very own pet of them, I can read you thoughts so easily. You are so proud of being a guardian for them, it's rather disgusting."

He grunted. "I really don't know why the masters let you still live, if it would be my choice, all of you would be dead by now." Before I could response, Aro interrupted. "Enough!" he shouted. "They will die sooner or later, of course, but right now, I am too delighted and they may as well just enjoy what will happen for as long as they can. So lets just calm down right now and welcome our new friend Jason." Aro stood up and pointed at a tall, dark brown spiky haired male, black eyes, his skin was a little darker than normal, which told me he was either tanned or dark colored in his human life. He had broad shoulders, a very muscluar chest, he kept himself fit as human, you could tell. His thoughts were caotic. He didn't really knew what to make of all this, he was excited about his knew enhanced abilities, but he hated vampires nonetheless. It was quiet funny actually. He despised us, really had a deep grudge for the vampire world. His change wasn't easy for him and it was most definitely not of his free will. He kept thinking about his wife and his daughter, I understand everything. He had a good reason to hunt us. Hell I would have done the same, well I actually did, right, I mean Jasper wasn't dead, but we killed because we wanted him back. Jason thought about Bella, he felt sorry, he held so much love for this girl it was almost overwhelming. I glanced over at Jasper, I could see his inner struggle against all the emotions. He sighed and tried to block it out.

Aro kept on talking. "He was reborn a few hours ago, he chose our life, instead of being murdered by law. He was one of the two hunters, in Rome. I know some of you think we should have killed him. But I saw the determination in him and he will be one of our guardians, to protect us. He is strong minded and we gave him a choice." I snorted at the last part. _Choice my ass, Aro you know as much as I do, that's not true, but of course you would never admit it to them. _I knew he read my thoughts, but he didn't say anything, not loud anyway, without exposing himself and his mad nature, he just continued.

"And we also have the other hunter, her name is Bella, she will be here soon and I say it right away. She is still human and very special, there has never been another human being like her, you will see. And I make this an order and a warning all the same. If any of you can't control himself and tries to attack or even threaten her mentally, I will destroy those of you right away. So you have the choice right now, if you can't control you bloodlust, than my advice would be, that you leave now!"

The vampires made all different noises, their thoughts weren't the once of protest, no, they were full of curiosity for Bella. They couldn't quite understand Aro's affection for her, why she is so special to him. Some asked themselves if they should leave because of the bloodlust, but in the end nobody left. Aro apparently totally satisfied with his subjects, he went back to his chair. "I can feel her, she is almost here, so I don't want any reactions or noises at all." He said it in a menacing tone, which made it a deathly statement for everybody.

Jasper felt total regret for her as I focused on his mind, he liked her, he spent more time with her in the past few days than with any other vampire in the compound. It was rather irritating, since he was the one of our family who had still problems to control himself. I mean regarding my reaction to her, I couldn't understand how he ever got away as he picked her up. I was even more ashamed of myself for my reaction to her. I really had to ask myself what was wrong with me?

When I tuned to Alice, she tried hard to see what will happen, but since no solid decision was made yet, she couldn't see far ahead. I sighed and tried Rosalie and Emmett. They both were still angry, but they wanted to see Bella nonetheless, after all they were the only once who didn't see her. So they were both curious, Rosalie especially thought about how she would look like, it was so like her and Emmett wanted to see the girl, the human who fought vampires, even killed them, he thought about her as the brave one. I sighed and stared at the doors, I could sense her, hear her blood pumping through her veins, the heart that sped up and slowed down in waves. It was somehow the nicest sound for me at that very moment.

She was scared I could feel it as if it were my own emotions, odd I thought, that I can sense them so well and clear. Then I heard one of the guards talking to her. "I wish you a lot of fun in there little girl." I grunted silently, would love to cut the head off this jerk. How can he make such a stupid statement to her?

_Why do I care again? _Was all I could think about, it was so confusing to think about Bella the way I actually did.

Then the doors opened and I got the first glimpse of her, my heart jumped in my chest. First I saw that she changed her clothes, she looked loveley in a skirt. Totally sexy with the red shirt, and with her boots, she looked kind of dangerous, dominant and oh so mysterious. Thoughts of lust and thirst and sex swammed through me and they weren't just my own. Mostly everybody in this room thought that way about her, she was luring and cute, her smell delicious and the thought, that she was a hunter made the whole package of her even more exciting. She was lean, curvy and just breathtaking, they all saw that and I felt...jealous? Gosh I really didn't know what was going on with me.

Then I saw she was blindfolded, I cursed the guard to death again. She was afraid, her breath not quite even, she tried not to show it, which was very impressive, she had such self control as a human. I loved how her long brown hair was braided and cascaded down almost to her waist.

Rosalie thought of her as nothing special, but Emmett saw her control as much as I did, he was impressed by her and Alice tried still to see the future. Jasper unfortunately was overwhelmed by all the emotions, he wished for Bella, that she doesn't have to be here, I was so surprised by his reaction and by my own, as I got another jealousy wave. Jason her old friend hid withing the crowd, he was anxious, what she thinks about him now, the monster he now was, he hoped so much they could continue as friends and partner just like the old days.

I wanted to read Bella's mind but it was blank, just like the wall, nothing, nothing at all, she was a death end for me and my powers.

The doors closed again, Bella stood very still, didn't turn around and Aro started to speak, he covered his thoughts perfectly from me. _Can Bella sense the other vampires? Why doesn't she turn around? Not that she should but, hell this girl is a mystery._

"Hello Bella, I'm glad you are here I thought already I needed to send somebody to get you. I didn't want you to miss this. Eventually it is as important to you as it is to us. We have two things today. First we have to accomplish the ceremony of your friend into the vampire world. And second, which wasn't planned at all or even desired. We had some, let say distractions here at the compound, a few unwelcome guests thought they could stroll just in, kill some guardians and disappear with our newcomer Jasper again. But thanks to our beloved Jane and her powers, she changed that. So it will be a big spectacle today, you can be very lucky, it doesn't happen very often, that all the vampires of Italy come together and celebrate. Usually our life is boring, therefore I am even more delighted about what happened and of course that you are here. I wanted to surprise you and thought it might me a good idea to blindfold your eyes. But you may turn around now."

She took a deep breath, didn't do as Aro said, which made me so proud, she didn't turn around. She has so much courage, her heart beat faster than normal but the rest of her seemed totally still and calm as if she wasn't afraid. As she started to speak, her voice was even angry and the most beautiful sound. "You know Aro I think you have something like a chronic disorder with two's. When I came here, no wait, the better word would be captured. So when you captured me, you gave me two choices, as you gave Jason and now you have two things to accomplish. It's kind of annyoing don't you think?"

Demetri smirked as did many others, the crowd of vampires were deeply shocked about her answer, they couldn't believe what she just said to the masters of all. That she really just tried to insult him without any sign of remorse. There were a lot who thought how stupid that was, but were astonished as well and curiosity increased. It was the most interesting thing, she was the most interesting human ever and everybody waited.

I could Emmett hear say "strike" and how cool she was. Rosalie looked surprise herself and Jasper shook his head, as if he knew it would come. But Jane, she held so much anger for Bella, she wasn't impressed at all, she just waited.

When Bella turned around, I really wished she wouldn't have done that, for she lost her color, went unnatural white, just like us. Her heart sounded like a hummingbird again. And again I would have loved to know her thoughts, it's not an every day event that a human sees so many vampires at one place, normally humans don't know about us at all. I wanted to soothe her, calm her, but since I couldn't move, because of some raven-got-to-much-power-bitch. I saw just for a second she almost lost her control, I thought she would sit down, but she didn't, no, instead she just stood there and eventually looked around.

Took it all in, it was a reaction I didn't expect, she surprised me anew. She tried to keep her breathing even. Several vampires inhaled, they loved her smell, some mentally struggled not to jump her and just drink her life giving blood. Aro felt so smug it was sickening. He was so proud of his Bella, her strength and her strong mind, I could kill him for it. Caius was as delighted as Aro and Marcus watched, not thinking about anything, or he just blocked me I didn't really know. Suddenly Demetri spoke to Bella.

"You look a little pale suddenly, I hope you feeling alright? Why don't you come down? You look so alone up there, so outcasted. Come right in the middle of us, we don't bite." Everyone started to laugh at his lame comment. I hated his guts for it. That was the most rediculious joke I've ever heard. Many thought about how funny it was and that it is the most exciting day since ages. I just cursed them all to hell, how they thought of her as little toy was the worst of it all. I hated that most vampires didn't respect humans, after all we were like them at one time. I never really understand how they can change to such cruel morons, who think they rule the world and were superior.

Without humans we wouldn't even exist, but apparently they don't think like it that way, all they see is a little human girl, the blood that runs through her and the excitement of what she will do next. It disgusted me to no end. I knew exactly why I didn't socialize with others of my kind besides my family. We really are different and they just don't understand.

Eventually I saw Bella straightened up and strode casually down the steps and closer to the altar. She really moved as if nothing could scare her, as if she felt comfortable and confident. She looked so beautiful, her chocolate brown eyes, so big and loveley, the way she glided and moved her body, it was pure sex. She was really the most beautiful person and the most brave one. How could I not be proud of such a human. She just wouldn't give up and it showed in the way she moved. It was so unexpected and unnatural human. What was the reason for her to hunt vampires in the first place I started to wonder, before she gave her respond.

"You know Demetri, I just can't help it but I really have to say this. Aren't you totally pissed that you can't kill me after what I did to you with the glass shard? Throwing me through the room once and then just leave me that's not really what you wanted, is it? I would have loved if it wouldn't have been just glass, but my lovely silver wooden sticks. It would have hurt once and then you could have said goodbye to your world, but since you took them from me, I had to hurt you. It was so tempting and I don't like to be brutalized by a scarecrow. I told you already you need to learn some manners."

I heard Emmett scream again mentally. _"And here she goes again, I can't believe it, she is so awesome, isn't she?_" Rosalie actually smiled at her, it was as much a surprise as everything else that happened till now. Demetri didn't like what Bella said, not in the slightest. He thought of her how she dares to speak to him like that until he growled. "Girl you better shut your mouth before I loose my temper completely, you were just lucky till now, don't give me another reason to throw you, next time you won't survive it!" _What did he? Bella said it already but now I acutally know what it means! Throw her? This son of a bitch, I could kill him, I will kill him. _I narrowed my eyes at Demetri. And saw that Caius held his hand up, apparently to stop Bella from talking. "Demetri stop theatening her, it was your own fault what happened. You shouldn't have underestimated her, after all she killed more than twenty of us. Which reminds me, if you ever lay hand on her again, I will kill you myself." I couldn't believe it, more than twenty? That's more than I thought. Demetri actually grunted, but the little slave he was, he kept quiet. The more I learned about Bella, the more I liked her. She really was impressive, in every possible way. I couldn't look away from her, her wonderful full red lips, her voice, her smell. Hell she was a very dangerous drug to me.

For a moment I thought she looked indignant, couldn't understand why that would be, she was a total mystery in every possible way. Then Bella actually glanced over to Jasper. He got the emotions better under control now, but still he fought. He thought about the first day he brought her food after she woke up after Jane almost killed her. How he struggled not to take her blood. A sudden anger swamped through me at the very thought of it. Jane really is some bitch, gosh they gave Bella vampire blood, so that she survives? _Poor girl, really, she is what 17 and lived through the most horrible situations. Somebody will more than pay for that, of that I make sure. _I couldn't stand his memories anymore and blocked him out, glanced back to the glorius and brave angel and unfortunately human. And here we go again, I frowned, she looked so, so, pityful at Jasper it could brake somebodys heart, really. How can she be so compassionate when she's the one in grave danger here, how can she feel for somebody else than herself in such a moment. Everybody else would be sorry for themselves and here she is, making always the most incredulous things and totally unexpected. Why should she be sorry for him? I so don't get it. Does she know about Jane?

_Oh damn, she looks right at me now. As if she could see my soul. I love her eyes, I could drown in them forever. Stop! Edward, you really need to stop those thoughts, that's not healthy. Even my heart makes it own flips inside of me. What is it about this girl. I never felt this way, it's so strange and odd. She makes me feel almost alive? And why does she still looks so full of mercy? I can't get it, I don't understand her. Ah thank god she looks away, because I couldn't have done so. Her eyes capture mine and I am lost, really lost. Alright, so where did this come from? I am becoming insane, that must be it, right?_

" So since we are all here, gathered nice and cozy. I'm curious, why would your so called guests, stroll in here and kill their own people?" Huh? Alright so and she did it again, I could scream. Why would she like to know about us? She should run far far away from here and not ask about us? It doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Then suddenly Rosalie ask me mentally the same question. I just shrugged, didn't understand anymore than she did. She thought of Bella as fragile human, but becomes more and more impressed, of her courage. It made me actually smile, just the thought of Rosalie and Bella, might be friends, was so absurd it almost made me laugh out loud, even though the whole situation wasn't funny at all, but Marcus sudden voice brought me back to reality. It was very seldom that he spoke and his voice sounded so bored, that I really had to wonder if it's just the way he is or whether he really is bored.

"It surprises me that you of all people have to ask that very question, you who should understand best, you as human, who lives in the most brutal world. Where mankind still fight each other, where genocides took place over centuries, the same with wars, mayhem, hunger. People who destroy themselves because of greed and envy. Your kind is the cruelest, most selfish and reckless one ever existed. And over the centuries, your people tried to make it right through laws and rules. I have to say it got better in the past decades, but still there are humans who die everyday because they get shot or overdose themselves with drugs or even kill themselves because of despair and grief while others swim in money, don't even think about their own kind somewhere else on earth. Some people still brake regulations and laws, that's why you have prisons, mental facilities or other places to send those who doesn't play by the rules.

And so it is in our world my lovely Bella, we have rules too, we need to prevent our kind from braking the laws as much as you do. Of course you can't compare the vampire world with the human, first of all because we have never been as violent as your kind, but every now and then there are some who push their limits too far and that is what happened with these five."

He actually dared to point his finger at us, I could rip his head off. Part of me hoped that Bella doesn't believe any of what he said. Hell, we are the most normal living vampires on earth I guess and they are pointing at us? My blood really boiled now, I was so enraged at all of those dumpfounded vampires who thought they have any rights and can do whatever they wish, just because we have other stronger abilities? That is so wrong. Jasper suddenly spoke to me. _"Edward could you please just calm down, it's already hard enough for me and you are not helping. I don't know what it is, that makes you so angry, almost to the point where you spy fire, but please do it for me and try to calm yourself." _I actually winced at his words and regretted that I let myself go. I send him an apologetic nod, hoped that I restrained myself enough for him finally.

"_Thanks Edward, I can feel his pain, I know what's going on with you, try to control yourself alright. I can't still see ahead, no decisions are made yet. But I see you and Bella sending each other, I would almost say flirting looks, hot glances from time to time. I respect her a lot for what she does here. I can't believe how strong she really is, I knew from all the visions I had while Jasper was with her, that she is not our usual human, but this, I haven't expected. I want her with us. I want her with us in Forks." _

I frowned at Alice. What did she say? Flirting? My ass, that's not flirting, well I know my heart sped up everytime I look at her, but we don't flirt. It's just an unusual reaction to an unusual girl, that's all. I just have to figure out why that is?

So I looked back to Bella, and my heart made a flip again, I just shook my head at that. Sudden bloodthirst shot through me and I realized for the frist time that I stil didn't breathe. Though I could taste her on my tongue, gosh I wanted her so badly, maybe the whole way I react is because of her blood, I never acted like that before, my body and I are not really working together. It's an inner struggle, so bad it almost hurts, or maybe that is the struggle against Jane, to get free. Gosh as soon as I have the chance I kill her. Nobody should have so much power.

"Oh Bella, as much as I love your gift, but it's really frustrating that I can't read your mind. I would love to know what you just thought and don't even try to tell me otherwise." _Oh so that is very interesting, so it's not just me? Thank god, I already thought something is wrong with me. Ha Aro, know I know why you think she is so special to you, no wonder._

I couldn't prevent myself from smirking, it made me so happy that I wasn't the only one who couldn't read Bella. But I regretted it very fast, as Jane send me the most excrutiating pain I have ever experienced through my head, I eventually yelled out once, knew that was what she wanted, not that I could have prevented to scream though. But the stabbing was gone immediately. I had to breath, to clear my head and damned myself in the next moment while I did. The thirst hit me so hard, I shuddered. My fangs lengthened, the beast screamed and groaned, wanted to get out. It was worse than ever before, I was hurting inside, my chest ached, my throat scorched. For the first time, I was glad I was trapped through Jane, otherwise I wouldn't stay here anymore, no, I would be in Bella's neck and drink, even drain her dry.

I felt Jaspers calming energy floating around me, eased the pain and appeased the beast until I felt like myself again. "_That was the worst frenzy I've ever experienced in someone, what's going on?" _Jasper asked me, I would like to give him an answer but he wouldn't hear me mentally, so I just looked at him, frowned and shrugged, send him a big fat thank you, for what he did. I held my breath again, didn't want to take any chances anymore and looked back at Bella, closed my eyes and just listened to hear melodic voice, which calmed me even more.

"Oh Aro I'll tell you what I thought with pleasure. Even Marcus is right with what he just said and it is sad enough that mankind still got so much anger that we can't avoid wars and murder and other things. Hell I killed myself, just not humans, but still I'm sort of a killer. But I don't know if I would say that my world is the cruelest just because we kill more than we actually should. But there is always the factor that we don't have all eternity to figure out how we should live our lives, some of them unfortunately choose the wrong path.

And then there is the population thing, there are over six billion humans on earth and maybe like what? A few hundred thousands of your kind? And let me tell you something else because you know? I've been here for like what a week maybe two? I can't tell since you guys live in the fucking underground and maybe even pretend to sleep in fucking coffins which I wouldn't mind in the slightest, just the fact that you guys are alive is the big deal here for me. But what I definitely would say is that you are as violent, reckless, selfish, greedy, repulsive and vile as humans can be. You are even worse, I didn't just hunt your kind for the last three months you might think, NO, I started much earlier, almost two years ago actually. So I had enough time to get to know you and your way of life. I can't really say what is worse, that you try to convince me that I'm the part of the monsterworld or that you send vampires out to bring you humans because you are whether to lazy or think you are above all the others here in this very room to do so yourself. And then, draining the bodies to death, but not before you made them willingly through your powers and take eveything they otherwise would never give. I've even seen how you lure the girls out of the clubs, playing all charming and nice, it's just disgusting.

So you're not even as close to harmless as you think you are. Oh and by the way, I think those five vampires might be the only ones in the whole room, who have some conscience. I know that you forced Jasper to be here, I just don't know why because I see you have more than enough followers already which brings me back to the point you are greedy and like to play. I guess the others tried to get him out, but of course you were the one who didn't like the fact that some might operate against you, so you played all bossy, won't give in and just let him go, because you always have to win or something like that. And this stupid bitch..."I think my jaw dropped down to my toes, I couldn't think yet, just looked in awe at Bella as she pointed at Jane and continued.

"...is one of the reasons why you always win, because without her, you would be nothing, you couldn't keep them still like you do right now. They would have escaped and you know it as much as I do. Let me guess you hate the fact that they act normal and blend in with the human population, because I can't imagine them living here with you in the underground, Jasper acts to human for that and since the rest of them seem to be his family or friends I'm sure they are the same. And you know something else? You wouldn't even dare to hunt them down if Jane wouldn't be here, because I'm pretty sure most of the vampires here don't even like you and your fucking coven."

As soon as she closed her inviting for kissing mouth, murmurs of dissaprovel and shock began. I could hear them clearly, knew it was too quiet for Bella. Non of the vampires in the crowd, ever experienced another human like her. Totally impressed but shocked, curious but angry, they swore and cursed. "She must have a deathwish, what a foolish girl, Aro will kill her for this, how she dares to be more than plain disrespectful, I don't understand why the masters listen to her at all." It went on an on, I could have killed anyone of them for being so small minded and hostile against Bella.

For me she was the most wonderful, astonishing and most incredible person I've ever met in my whole life. She wasn't just beautiful, no, she was smart, very much so, nobody fooled her, she could see behind the masks from all of them. She is so brave, so courageous, compassionate, sane, down to earth. Just the fact that she doesn't deny herself that she is a killer, which I definitely think she is not, makes her so completely passionate and good. She really is like an angel, serves and protects, or something like that.

I want to know everything about her, every little detail there is to know about her. She is so strong, so controlled, I have to know why she ended up like this. A_lmost two years she hunts vampires, she said? Why? What made her doing this? Why the grudge? Did she loose somebody just like her friend did? How horrible would that be. Hell she would have been what 15 or just 16 before she started? I can't imagine how she became so strong willed and determined? _

_She is afraid of the vampires all right, but she tries not to show it and she does a damn good job. Proud, that is the word for her, everybody should be proud of her, for what she does. She really fights the masters, that is exactly why they improve of her so much, her temper, her total attempt to go against every single one of them, her total devotion to give her life._

_I can't believe she just said we have conscience, gosh if I could cry I would right now. How can she say something like that about us, she doesn't know us? _

While I couldn't get my mind off Bella, my family send me their very own opinions. Emmett couldn't stop it, he just started to get all hyper about her. _"Hey Eddi, she rocks, she so rocks like hell, can anybody be any cooler than her. And she is a human and a girl, I can't believe it. I understand how she killed so many of us, non normal thinking vampire would guess she is the hunter. Not with her innocent looking eyes and the fact she is a girl. I want to hug her and tell her I am so glad I could meet her. I tell you soon as I am out the mind gripping bitch, she is going to die, the bitch I mean and then I'm going to hug Bella, just because of the way she is._"

Even Rosalie coudn't hide her positive emotions anymore. _"Alright so she is smart for a human. I really have to give her credit for everything she just said. I don't understand at all why she would protect us and say those things she did, but hey man, I hope she comes out of here alive, I really start liking her." _

After Alice expression, she cries silently, she felt totally devoted to Bella, I know it. _"Can anybody else be more sweet and thrustworthy than her? Edward we need to find a way to get out and take her with us. She is so special, so wonderful, so, so, I don't have the proper words that would describe her the way she is. I knew she was more than unusual, but I never in my oddest dreams, expected or even imagined her to be so loyal and honest with herself, so aware of her surroundings. How can anybody wants to kill her or hurt her ever?" _And just like the rest of us, Jasper, especially him, he was totally dumpfounded. Her speech held so much for him, he just shook his head und disbelief and awe. _"She thinks I act human, did you hear that? She really said that, after all I did to her, I mean I wanted to drink of her not just once and she still defends me and our family, she makes me feel actually bad about the thirst. I don't have words, I'm overwhelmed with all your emotions and my own."_

How I loved my family at that very moment. We stick together no matter what. I just had to look at Bella, she looked so stunning, totally oblivious what it meant to all of us what she just said. I heard Aro silently swearing at her. He was getting closer to the point, where he won't allow such for him disrespectfullness anymore, which would make the whole situation very dangerous for Bella and his voice confirmed it.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, you really are a special human, but also very foolish. You shouldn't underestimate our powers. But lets get back to what we are here for." He snapped his fingers and the whole crowd stepped back. I saw that Bella didn't like the attention, she seemed nervous but alert, like a true hunter. Aro's blocked his thoughts again. When I saw some vampires moved within the crowd, I knew what was suppose to come. Jason's thoughts weren't shielded at all, he was afraid, nervous, sorrowful, but excited to finally see her. I disliked the whole idea. It was very dangerous, he was newly changed and can't control his thirst. And Bella isn't just any human, her blood hold some odd luring sensations and smells. I feared for her, for what will happen. I swore at Janet again, that I can't get out of her mind. I wondered how long she can hold all of us like this? But right now she apparently doesn't have any problems, it felt as strong as before.

I knew the moment, Bella realized her friend. Her heart sped up, like the hummingbird it was, she seemed curious, but still alert. Hell who wouldn't be? After all they were friends, for some time and he was brutally changed.

As soon as Jason stood a few feet away, Bella literally froze. I felt sorry, really sorry for her, wanted to hold her tight. I guessed it was just another shock in her already broken world. Jason's mind was open, very easily to read and as he saw Bella, inhaled her scent. I was the one who froze. I wanted to jump at him, hold him back from what he thought to do. The smell of her, came hard and I knew how it hurt. Nervous like I was I glanced over to Alice, but she just shook her head in denial, which I couldn't understand, so I growled while I was trapped and couldn't move the way I wanted. But then I was surprised again, this time it wasn't Bella though.

Jason calmed himself, alright with Jaspers help, but still he controlled himself unnatural for his age and being. He told himself over and over again, he can't do as his body wishes, that he can't hurt her.

I was so astonished over his conscience and his strong will, I couldn't comprehend it at that moment. I never in my whole life met people like those two. But I guess it takes all kinds. Jason even started to smile, which wasn't the best idea he had, for Bella stepped back, obviously afraid and not quite kosher with her situation. Gosh how can I not start to feel for her? I knew what Jason was about to say, so I looked back at Bella, I wanted to see her every emotion.

"Hi sweety, I'm so happy that you are still alive, I thought I would never see you again after they catched me. I knew you were there, when I, when I changed, I heard you talking to me, but I couldn't answer, it was too painful. You know this feeling is kind of amazing, my senses are much more enhanced, it's undescribable. I can hear everything, every single tiny movement in this room, I can tell you where spiders and ants crawl, where flies fly. Colors are much more powerful. My sight is incredible, I can see all the grooves in the altar, or the fibers of your clothes. But the best part is the smell, every one of us has fragrances I didn't even know of. Perfume would be needless if the humans would know how they really smell. I love your scent, you reek of jasmine and orange, but I can also smell lavender on you. I can hear the sound of your blood pumping through your veins, your heartbeat, which is quiet irregular right now. I would love to hold you, embrace you, I can't even tell you how much I've missed you. But as incredible as these new senses are, one thing will never change and that is the bloodlust. I really need all my strength to control myself right now, which is quiet hard actually, even though I've drank so much. It's really painful, I mean the scorching throat."

Of course she didn't react as I thought she would, again. That part is really disturbing. Though she took a step back again, but I thought she would be furious, scared, hell something negative about Jason, but no, she didn't show anything at all, just her consideration and carefullness and she was kind of sad. _Who can understand this girl? Ever? Or is it just that I want her to react the way I want her to? If so that would be very selfish, wouldn't it? _

"Hi Jason, nice to see you are, well alive would be the wrong word I guess. It's weird to see you like this, your eyes are quiet scary and all. Well the thing with the hug, I think we shouldn't do that. I don't really know what to say to you. God that's all so weird. I missed you too and I'm glad you doing alright, if you could even say that in your situation. You were right, I have been with you the whole time while you changed and trust me, it was the hardest thing I've had to do. I'm sorry to say this but I really didn't want to see you but those bloodsuckers didn't give me chance."

_Ouch, alright, so maybe I just read her wrong, I almost feel pity for Jason. But hell she is honest and that is the most important part, right? What would I do in her situation? I can't tell, I can't imagine. But I see it is so hard for her, she really brakes my heart. _

I went back to Jason's mind. He was confused, totally sad, ask himself over and over again, what he thought earlier would happen if Bella sees him, how stupid he was to think, she would see him still as her friend. Hell she was right, he was a fucking bloodsucker, he just told her he drank blood. He sighed several times, tried to start all over.

"Bella, I'm sorry what happened, I should have never taken you with me, you are to young for all this, you should go to school, to college, have friends, go out to party, have a normal life. I can't make up for all the despair I've caused you. I know it's too late now. I hope you can forgive me?"

_Ouch again! Shit that really is heartbreaking here. That is even for me to much, poor Jasper. _I glanced over to my family, they all watched with total compassion. Alice and Rosalie both looked like crying and Emmett planned his promised grudge against the masters. He couldn't believe they did all this just to have fun. How they brought over 200 vampires here, to see how two beings try everything to find a way to get along again, after so much has changed.

Jasper's eyes were closed, he struggled. I felt as much remorse for the two total strangers in front as I did for Alice, while she grieved and wheeped unreal tears during Jaspers absence. And the whole scene didn't improve as Bella held one of her hands to her heart and I smelled her tears. She fought against it, she blinked she tried to breathe. It broke my heart, my chest hurt so much, the lump in my throat strangled me. I wanted to make her sorrow go away, I wanted to soothe her, to do everything to help her. The thought that somebody actually goes off at the pain of such an angel, filled me with rage and bloodlust to kill. I watched her opening her mouth, trying to speak, but her voice shivered, it ripped me in two.

"I...I...I can't leave you, never ever, even if that means I have to stay here for my lifetime. There is nothing to be sorry for, it was always my decision to make. We went through this so many times already, you can't protect me from everything. Therefore there is nothing to forgive, you didn't really choose this life and we both know it, even though somebody else here might think different. You know, I can't live without you? It's like a curse to be with you or something. But I don't care, you are my life, even if I miss my dad and Michael, but I know I won't see them ever again. I know you are different now, but in some way you are still the same person and I make it my new purpose to keep it that way. I don't want you to become one of those monsters, not as long as I live. So you don't get rid of me, you'll learn to control you thirst and I help you as much as I can."

_Wow, wow, alright so I expected everything but this? She would willingly give up her life for him, for a vampire? She must be insane? She would leave her dad and this Michael whoever he is? Bella don't say that, don't be so selfless, think about you, think about what you do what you say. Gosh if you could read you friends mind right now. So much grief, so much sorrow and regret for you. It is unbelievable. That shouldn't be happening, not to any of you. And oh if you could know what Jason wants to say next, I almost want to stop him._

Jasper was so puzzled suddenly he couldn't understand Bella at all. _"I can't understand her, first she is all teared up inside, makes my body ache in every possible way, and then suddenly she is all hopeful and eager?"_

I listened to his thoughts and didn't understand any of it either, so I just waited for Jason to say his part.

" Bella! I...I...don't know what to say, it's more than touching what you offer, but you don't belong here.

It's too dangerous for a human to be here, hell I just told you I'm in deep pain right now. And I could never bear to hurt you just because I can't control my thirst. It would brake my heart to see you suffering. I don't want this life for you, I don't want you to hate me one day, because you regret the decision you've made. Eventually it could always happen that I loose control and bite you, that would destroy me, even if it wouldn't kill you and more important change you, but still that would be the lowest point ever. I could never look into your eyes ever again."

_Oh no please don't cry, please don't cry. An angel is not suppose to cry, but Jason is right, every word is right. I approve so much of him, about his control, his courage and that he thinks about you more than himself. Please change your mind, please, just do it and leave._

"No you know I'm stubborn, I always was and will be, you can't change my mind, I wouldn't say I don't care what you said, but it's more important for me to keep you sane. I really despise the Volturi, what they do, how they live. And anyway they wouldn't let me go, you know that as much as I do, so there is no other choice."

_Hell there is no choice, I won't let them keep you here. I would fight until I die, you don't belong here, never ever. You more than anyone belong to paradise, to humans who love you, who know how much you are worth. _

Jason struggled, he fought against himself, against the words Bella said. He was very well aware of the Volturi and that they would keep her here for all time until she dies or changed vampire herself. His thoughts were all about her, about keeping her save. There was not one tiny bit selfishness in his mind.

Then Alice actually started to speak to me silently. _"Brother, I can't hear all this anymore, it breaks my heart, it makes me weak. Hell it makes me itchy everywhere. I don't like what I see, it's still all in pieces, not fully decided. We have to do something, please give me some ideas, because otherwise I'm getting mad here and not in a good way." _

And don't I know how Alice felt? I felt how I slowly but surely loose my sanity too. I wanted to know what all the others were thinking, but if I do, than I make it harder for Jasper and he has already enough to fight with right now, so I just stayed with Bella, Jason and Alice kind of. I expected, Jason to answer, but instead Aro was the one who spoke.

"Oh that was so sweet, really emotional and dramatic, this whole reunion thing between you two. I'm actually disappointed. Your friend here shouldn't be in so much self-control, after all he is few hours old and I really thought he would jump you as soon as he sees you or lets say smells you. It might have something to do that you guys spent so much time with us over the years. So you've learned how to stay calm and controlled. But still I thought he would react different, giving us a bit action here. Well I guess, today I don't get my way, right?"

I felt how rage welled up inside of me. Aro really knows how to provoke. Bella and Jason exchanged looks and I saw instantly why they went along so well. They both were the same at some point and while they looked at each other and actually smiled, you could tell the change. The hunters were back, totally determined, one team, one mind. Both ready to kill, just like us. Their eyes blank, nothing showed, no emotions. It would have been scary, if I wouldn't have known how much emotion both of them held. I understand even more how they both became great hunters and therefore killers. And I was glad that I wasn't the one being hunted. Bella was back, totally stubborn and confident as she gave her sarcastic respond to Aro.

"You are sick, you are a sadistic bastard. But what should I expect from someone like you?" _Alright as much as I loved that, but I think that gave Aro the rest, it was the last drip. _

He rose, and tried to float over the floor, typical show off, such a jerk, was all I could think. I knew he read my mind but he didn't say anything before and he didn't now. No. Instead he showed me images of his sickening dreams and desires. Bella the vampire pet and everybody can do whatever they wish, just not kill. I growled out loud at him, to warn him off, but of course it didn't last long, while Jane send another of her agony waves at me. If it was possible, each time was worse, I couldn't hold back, yelled out in pain. If I were human I would be sweaty by now and weak, or maybe even dead.

I watched how Bella stood, like a hero, not flinching or wincing as Aro touched her. He blocked my view with his back, so I just listened as he blocked me out of his thoughts again.

"You can curse and swear as much as you want, but you said it for yourself, I am always getting what I want. And you just made your decision, you want to stay human and so it will be. Many of us will enjoy you. But before I think I play a little bit myself, after all Jason didn't do as I expected, but I'll see to it."

_What choice? What are they talking about? Grrr, Aro you sickening bastard. I hope it is nothing bad, nothing that would be a disadvantage for Bella?_

**_Puh! It was the longest chapter I've ever written. Over 18 pages, wow, I just pet myself for that :-)_**


	16. Chapter 16: Emotions can be torture

**Here is my new chapter. Hope you enjoy it. I'm still angry about the lack of reviews, but I just keep writing. I enjoy it to much not to update. And I know that many people like my story, otherwise they wouldn't add me to their favorites or story alerts still. I thank shadownip for the review of course. It's always nice to read some opinions :-)**

Edward PoV

Aro laughed silently in his mind, it was deliberately meant for me, I knew before he said "that should be fun". He didn't let anything else slip while he sat down. But he was pure evil at that very moment, venomous even, concentrated in the soulless depths of his.

Bella's heart drummed in her chest, I could see she was completely disgusted with the master of the masters. The rest of her expressions, were really hard for me to read. I would have said she looked close to mad, riled up, which in her case would be the most reasonable emotion. Hell who wouldn't become insane while trapped in a vampire coven? Her hatred for them literally floated all around her, I could tell she was thinking, quite hard about what would happen next. Damn I would have given everything to know what's going on.

Caius and Marcus didn't know anything, they waited, just that Caius was rather excited, intrigued and Marcus completely blank and bored.

Aro the sick bastard he is, totally convinced that everything he does is his very own right. If Bella's only experience with vampires came from such as them, I understand why she hates, despises and wants to slaughter all of them, hell I want the same. But still first I would have to get out of Jane's grip and since her strength won't weaken so easily, or soon it seems, I'm restraind here and can't help. _Fuck, fuck and fuck again. What am I suppose to do here? If we all keep fighting against her, then she can do no other than give way. _

While I kept on watching Bella, she is just so mesmerizing, so beautiful, a siren, the vampires made more space. I merged my mind with Jane's, trying to find out from her what might happen. The moment I did, I was on full alert. I really didn't like what I heard.

She had a silent conversation with Aro, they both mostly blocked their thoughts, which was actually incredible, regarding that they talked to each other. It takes an amount of power to do so in the first place but shutting others out is draining, yet they seem perfectly normal, but still some of it slipped and the beast in me grew deadly, dangerous, full of hatred for what Aro wanted to do.

"_Can you keep up your control over the five and sweep into Jason?" _

"_Yes master, that would be my very great pleasure, do you have something certain in mind, or may I do as I wish?"_

"_Jane, just do as you wish, I know you won't dissapoint me." _

I knew there was more, but that was all I could get and it was already enough for me and my inner beast to understand the full extend of what Jane could do and will do to Bella if she really has the strength.

Suddenly I heard Jasper yell at Alice. _"What is it, you project so much pain, it tears at my intestines. Ah fuck she can't hear me, hell Edward do something, what's going on?" _I cursed myself for being so preoccupied with the raven and her master, that I didn't realize anything else.

Alice looked so shocked and frustrated, she had lines in her face. I tuned to her and the images of the furture, let me froze in place. The vivid pictures were horrible. I went so still, like the dead can be.

_My poor Bella, oh no, please no. That can't be happening. I need to get out._

My little pixy moaned with compassion, suffered enormous while her eyes focused on Bella. Eventually she kept on whimpering "No, No, No" just for us to hear. While I watched the pictures change and switch, one image worse than the other, I felt and saw the white, hot and searing pain, that shot through Alice. Like lightning. Her cry so full of agony and despair, I couldn't do other than growl, I felt her pain through my whole body down to my toes until I actually trembled once to shake it off.

When I glanced over to Jasper, he looked exhausted, he as Alice's lifemate felt her emotion thousand times more and due to his powers it must be unbearable for him._ Jasper won't make it much longer, he is so close to become mad and if he does, it would be painful for him. Jasper please don't say or do something odd. Great, I am talking to myself again, it is not like he can hear me. Rosalie and Emmett drive me nuts with their questions, "what's going on?" Hell I can't tell them, there is just no way, they are totally outcasted from us, just see our emotions and hear the screams. Damn everybody else to hell._

Alice seemed to catch herself again. _"Edward, I know you saw it too, I can't let it happen, I can't that's just not fair." _Her pleading voice, held so much misery it really was hard to stay sane.

I sighed and looked back at Bella. The moment I did, I knew she knew something is up. I felt like a stake had been driven deep within my tissue and sinews, ripping me apart. The smell of her tears, strangled me, taking the last coherent wit from me. I felt, like I never felt before. The need to protect her, to soothe her, to make her happy, overwhelmed me. My mind had been so deranged already, my feelings so odd and totally strange to me, but it seemed so right nonetheless. How can anybody want to harm her, even make her cry? Such an angel, pure and selfless as she is. But it was exactly that, what Aro drove to do all these things. He saw exactly the angel and goodness in her, the things he never was and never will be. It is his sickening fantasy of a game to destroy such as one as her. Earlier I could read how impressed and intrigued he is by her strength and will, he really never met another human being like her.

I came back to reality when I heard Jason's thoughts, or the one's of Jane at that moment. She had him under control, totally. She told him to go to Bella, to touch her, to do as she wishes. He was strong, protested and wished her to hell but not enough. Jane send him pain, everytime he tried to struggle against her mind grip until he gave it up.

His mind totally dull suddenly, I watched how Jason went to Bella. She didn't realize it right away, her thoughts obviously somewhere far away, I could tell. But as soon as she did, her heart sped up, she got very nervous. She was scared. I flared my nostrils, bared my fangs at the sight of Jason so close to her. Bella stepped back, totally uncomfortable with the situation. Jason was there, somewhere I could sense him, but he was just a very small shadow in his own mind. Jane consumed most of him. He followed every step of Bella's until he slapped her right in the face. The beast in me got harder to tame, it wanted out and rip something apart, I growled as she flew backwards, heard the crack as it echoed through my head and the steps bored into her back.

She was so strong, no cries escaped her beautiful lips, but I saw she struggled for control, for getting her breathing back to normal, well they were actually more gasps than breaths. I was so focused on her, on her pain, on her face, on her whole being, that I totally ignored the delicious smell of her spared blood. She looked so vulnerable, even fragile, yet she showed tremendous power.

I got eventually really angry, as I inhaled her scent and the fresh blood. That was to much, even for me, I struggled to get free, fought against Jane with everything I had.

I felt her strength slowly fading, but just not enough for me to get out. So I watched my angel, as she lay spread out on the steps, fighting for control, for her energie to push herself up. Jason stood just were he had been before. The raven let him wait, for Bella to get up, she enjoyed the sight of her, so much, her heart sped up in anticipation.

Some vampire came out of the group and gave Jason a long sword, he took it reluctantly though. He wasn't strong enough to fight Jane, yet, but he tried, I could feel. The small shadow, clawed and teared on Jane's control as much as possible. I felt his anger, his regret, that he wasn't strong enough to fight the bitch.

My mind raced, it was a total tumult. _She is just human, just human, hell let her go. _But my pleading, brought Aro to giggle his nastiest sound. I heard my family swear and curse and fight, but I blocked them out, I couldn't bear any other thoughts right now. My soul and spritit where with Bella at that very moment.

I felt her pain, her confusion, her reluctant exceptance for Jason, that he just played her after all as she finally stood on her feet again. I wished she would just back up, but she was stubborn and wanted to know, hell, had to know for herself what was going on. I can't read her mind, but I can read her features right now, as easily as I can read the thoughts of my family. Why that is I have no idea, it's as if something changed, or it's just that I can feel and live her pain as my own.

Perhaps I felt so much for her, that the overwhelming intensity of her emotions, the floating energie of it engulfed me. "Jason what are you doing, put the weapon down. You don't want to do this. What is about the things you told me?" Her voice quivered, she choked, every single word, forced herself to see any reason in the things that happened. I concentrated for a second on Jason, he stood stock still, looked at her, no, more stared at her, his expression as blank as some mental person. But his thoughts, oh his thoughts were caotic. I would love to tell her, that she should not give up, that it isn't really him doing this. But I wouldn't come that far, since I can't block my thoughts from Aro, he would know and Jane would prevent me from it.

That is so frustrating. I can't see her hurt like this, so miserable. Then I saw another vampire walk to Bella with a sword and two sticks. _Fucking vampire if you do so as much as touch her with those weapons. I will kill you.... Puh... alright so they were for her. I don't like it though. She is already in so much pain, she can't fight. _

But to my surprise as she confirmed several times already, she picked every single one of them up. As much as she struggled for control and not to show she was hurting, I knew better and not because her breath caught in her throat.

I must be insane or something, no, sick is the better word for the things I thought then, even though I felt her agony, I thought she looked so sexy and incredible so. The movement as she bent down and picked the wooden sticks up, stuck them in each of her boot, my whole body reacted, came alive, jerked even. _That is so sick, that is totally mad, how can I react like that, when she is hurting so much? Edward the masochist, the bastard who gets off on somebody elses pain? Oh no, no, no, I'm not like them, never ever will I become like them. I need a shrink, that is it, right? Damn since I'm here, everything is different, I feel different, my body acts in ways I have never experienced before._

I tried to ignore everything around me and just concentrated on Bella and Jason. As she stood there in front of her friend, the long sword in both hands. Her face completely focused, her posture confident, experienced even so. You could tell it wasn't the first time she held a weapon. It was rather disturbing, that such innocent little girl, knows how to fight with weapons.

Like so many other times before, all I could think of was, what she thinks at that moment. What is going on in that beautiful, compassionate mind of hers? Her features didn't show anything at all, she know how to cover her emotions. I never given it much thought, when I fought against another vampire I kept my face blank as well, didn't show him or her, what I really felt. It came natural for us to do so, but for a human. I guess it took a lot of training to keep in control as much as she does her own body. It takes also a lot of time, psychical and physical, you have to block everything else out. I was even more impressed of Bella, how she handled herself. She was very disciplined.

Always in his mind, I felt Jason struggle and he won at least one part of himself back, of the strength and force he used against Bella as he thrust with his sword in human speed. I winced at the sight, feared for the angel who had to endure so much already, that she can't fight. But she did, with knowledge and skill, she blocked the attack.

She was confused, I could tell, didn't understand any of it. I felt Jane's rage, that Jason still fought against her and Bella still lived. She pushed and forced her will more and more. The pain of it must have been excrutiating for Jason, but he didn't give up. I actually smiled as I heard him yell at her even though far away, he wished the bitch to hell.

Jane screamed silently and pushed her puppet forward again with more force this time. I growled, my heart hammered in my chest, I held my breath, not that I needed it, but I just froze as I saw the diagonally stroke his sword took this time. Bella used all her strength to block his move, the blades made a clattering sound, that echoed through the hall and chilled my body right to the bones.

She trembled, clenched her teeth at the force from the impact. For the first time I realized that every single vampire in this room, was speechless, there were no thoughts whatsoever. All of them were impressed by the determination of the human girl, who won't give up.

Emmett kept on yelling "you go girl, you go girl, she is amazing, I'll kill the bitch", obviously he knew that it wasn't Jason who tried to hurt Bella. Sometimes some might think, he isn't the smart one, because of his behavior, but I know different. His mind is full of shit, that is true, but if it comes to important stuff, he is sensitive and aware of everything.

I wished Bella had more time to put herself together, but I felt Jason was overwhelmed with what he just did. His very existence screamed for help, while the sound of the clashing swords, shuddered his whole virtue to keep sane. The shock of what he just did, crawled through his whole body and gave Jane the chance to take over.

Without any control of himself, Jason pushed Bella backwards, and thrust with almost vampire speed. My eyes were frozen in place, my blood stopped pumping. I pleaded for some higher power to help, to change the fate. Bella didn't have the slightest chance against him. Everything happened so fast. Her sword cut in two and even though she somehow managed to sidestep, Jason's sword sliced through her soft flesh, like a butcher.

Her scream of agony, the feel of her very pain, ripped at my heart. I felt dull, alone, as if I lost some important part of my very being, while I saw her blood gushing out of her skin. My world fell apart, as she pressed her hand against the wound, her life-giving blood smeared her fingers, soaked her clothes while she let the rest of the blunt drop. She lost her color, I felt her dizziness, heard her laboring to breathe. Saw her shock of the betrayal, the awarness of it. She was convinced everything was over, that everything had been a game, a con, a show. I knew the exact moment, she gave up, ready to die as she stood very still in front of Jason, waiting for him to finally release her.

I tuned to Jane's puppet, who inflicted so much pain, that a red haze of violence, blurred my vision. I felt rage, wanted revenge. I heard the crowd yell and murmur, clap and who knows what else, but it was so far away, I didn't care.

Bella lost so much blood already, the fragrance of orange and jasmine was the only scent in the hall. So sweet, charming, chanting, luring. I had a very hard time, but the feeling to protect her overcame the thirst by inches. Unfortunately Jason wasn't as strong, his control was gone completely, he was a seething cauldron of frenzy emotions. His bloodlust, overpowered any other instincts. His gaze all predator, ready to strike, to play with the prey. I heard Jane's laughter in his mind. _"Oh now it became __very easy, let see what he does, huh Edward?" _Her giggles pounded in my skull.

Jason throw his sword to the ground, looked all smug before he said. "Bella common let's have a hand to hand fight, I always loved it."

The spectators applauded, they were totally excited. Me on the other hand, I was fixated, afraid, angry, scared for Bella. My relentless beast, loved the show almost as much as the small minded vampires, but I couldn't think straight, feared for Bella, for her life. With every passing second she weakened. I pushed against Jane's grip now and then, but it didn't give way at all. She got stronger with the pain she inflicted on Bella and wasn't that very sickening? My wrath would be murderous for all of them if I ever get out of here.

I looked in my angels face, every tiny emotion has been exchanged with revenge. She didn't seem fine, or in the state to keep fighting, but she put it all aside, took position and and stared blankly at her opponent. It was rather scary, how such a beautiful, innocent, girl, can change from sensitive to total careless.

He punshed first and right into her face again. I growled at Jason's lessening sense not to hit woman in the first place, but the face and again? That was too much, I knew it was almost all him right now who hit and hurt. I saw the glimmer in his eyes, the joy of the game. It wouldn't be much longer where he gets tired and lungs forward.

Bella punched back, he didn't even try to block as she hit him full force. Blood spattered as her fist met his nose. The sound of cracking bones echoed through the hall, it was so loud, it send chills through my body. Bella's knuckles turned already blue and red, but she didn't even flinch, nor made she any sound of the pain, I felt as much as she did. The only indication that she hurt like a bitch, was the perspiration on her velvet skin.

Her face, so blank, so empty of any emotion, it was sad to watch, as she almost carelessly and cruel, doged Jason's blow and kicked at his legs. She pulled one of the wooden-sticks out of her boot. The movement scared me. Her aura seemed so heartless, blackness consumed her body, she was ready to leave the world, you could tell, but not without a fight. I don't know how it was even possible, but she seemed so far away. There was no love, no sentiment in her. I couldn't stand it anymore, I had to look away, had to concentrate on something else. As soon as I did my family bombarded me.

Emmett couldn't believe what he saw, how one human can change in such a short time, he felt sorry for her in every possible way. He would give his life to be in Bella's position right now, to take her pain away. _"Seriously, I never want to be Bella's enemy. She can be really scary. Though I want her emotions back, rather sooner than later. I've never seen something like that, like a switch you can turn on an off, she is ready to go, am I right?"_

Rosalie wanted Jason dead, she despised him for what he did. She was thirsty, wanted and needed blood. The scent of Bella made everybody here insane, mad, nuts whatever you want to call it.

Alice eyes where closed, she couldn't watch, or wouldn't. I blocked every image out, maybe it was for the better. She was so sensitive, always had been and she felt so much compassion for Bella, that it hurt her as much as it did me, to see her so soulless somehow.

Jasper's face was creased with lines of sheer pain, he struggled to stay sane. _"It hurts, it really does. There is so much pain and shame in Bella. She hates herself for being fooled and it is even worse that it was her friend. My powers don't reach her anymore. Edward, I know what you feel. She deliberately covers her emotions, she didn't change or something. She is so close to break down, all she's got is her pride, to keep blocking. I never experienced or met another person like her, it's incredible but miserable. She projects so much, that not even my bloodlust can overcome all the pain she's got."_

I had to look back at Bella, it was impressive, how much control she obviouly has. I felt ashamed of myself that I thought she might have lost her spirit or something. The scene changed, I apparently missed some steps. I just saw how Jason held Bella at her throat, she kicked him in his groins, which made me wince. _Ouch that hurts like a bitch._

And then Bella struck, she really stabbed Jason with the stick. The shock I felt, reflected in her expression. She let go of him, looked at the blood on her hand that dripped out of her friends chest. Wide-eyed she stepped back, watched him. Jason came around, his sanity was back instantly. His features changed, his thoughts changed. Jane seemed so shocked about what Bella did, that she was gone for the moment. Jason's regret, shame, sorrow, guilt, swamped his mind. He kept on telling himself, that Bella has to kill him, to end this life, so he was thankful for the pain, the stick inflicted. He was ready to go, ready to leave this place, ready not to see Bella's face ever again. The pain he put there, was to much for him to bear.

I knew he wasn't dead and wouldn't die, Bella hesitated, but she pulled the stick back out. Jason's shock hit hard, he couldn't believe that she didn't release him. He felt of himself as a monster who can't control any emotion whatsoever. He thought himself dangerous and relentless. Eventually he dropped to the floor, just like Bella.

She cried, shed tears freely without thought, didn't understand the world anymore. The sight of her made every single muscle ache. I felt strangled again, felt like crying myself. I loved how her tears smelled. They looked like little diamonds as they dripped down her rosy cheeks. I wanted to take her away from this place, far away, somewhere beautiful, somewhere where she can relax and let it go.

She needed a normal life, she needs to be 17 years old again not like the adult she was now, I wanted to give it all to her, she needed care, thrust, care, feelings.

Suddenly my senses were on full alert, I still don't know how or why but I felt her emotions, like my own again. She was very, very weak, she needed a transfusion fast. Needs her injuries taking care of. Her arm was already limp, her breathing became shallow. The wound still bled. I cursed myself that I didn't realize it earlier, how careless of me. If they don't help her soon she wouldn't need to fight anymore, she is going to die anyway. The very thought panicked me. I feared so much for her. Her shirt was soaked in her blood, hell even her skirt. Her fingers pressed against the slash, were completely crimson, there wasn't any part of her skin that wasn't smeared with her blood.

_No, no, no, Bella don't close your eyes, don't, stay awake. Shit, I am such an idiot, why didn't I see or feel it. No wonder Jane left her puppet alone, she knows that Bella won't make it any longer. Oh no, that sound, her moans, her groans. Please Bella don't give up?_

Jason stirred to live again, rose from the floor as vampires do, totally graceful. The bloodlust hit him hard again, I just swore and sighed as I felt Jane again, she fed his thirst, pushed him even.

_Bella, beathe, breathe, you need oxygen. _Jason couldn't hold back any longer, he grabbed Bella's wrist and pulled her upright. The jealous wave hit me hard, while I watched him licking my angels skin and moaned.

I heard Bella swallow several times, she was sick, very sick from the act. I felt her pain as she struggled and Jason tightened his grip. "You taste so good, it can make somebody really addictive." I growled. Wanted to rip his head off for what he did, even though I knew it wasn't him. But jealousy won and my selfish beast, wanted her for itself.

I looked with distaste and anger, how he touched her, licked at her arm and moaned while he did. The red haze came back in a blur. The beast screamed for freedom, I pushed against Jane's hold constantly now. I smirked as I felt her strength slowly fading away. The beast told me soon, so very soon we will have our revenge. The excitement of the hunt overwhelmed me until I saw Bella flighing backwards again. My blood boiled, rage consumed me. I hated the fact that Jason blocked the view with his body as he caged her, locked her in while she screamed in pain.

Her laboring breath, was loud and disturbing, calmed the beast inside of me and brought me back, to the point that I felt her very emotion. She's so close to loose consciousness. She was trembling it was almost seizure like. Her heart drummed, I thought it would burst out of her chest pretty soon. I heard something rip, her shirt? I concentrated on the sound, heard how Jason's teeth scraped Bella's velvet skin, how he licked and swallowed her blood, how she went still like a stone with fear.

I smelled her tears again, how it mixed with her blood. Then there was her scream, a short, heartbraking loud. She struggled against the pain, against her friend. I wanted vengeance, I wanted to kill, I wanted to rip something. I grunted, felt a short stab of lightning in my head. Jane again, that bitch.

The only thought I had was, how to stop Jason, I sensed Bella's absence minded state. She went limp, couldn't move anymore. Her heart worked to much to pump the small amount of blood through her body. He needed to stop, he's killing her. Can't he sense it? And just as I thought it he pulled away.

Bella was so weak, there was no way, she could fight or defend herself anymore. My fear to loose her increased with every passing second while I felt her condition worsened. I couldn't see what happens over there, to her, so I had to use Jason again.

His mind was a big caos. Jane was there she pushed at him, wanted him to touch her, to, to, to, take her in every possible way. That realization, made me weak now, I can't never live through her being raped. I swore my retaliation to Jane again. Due to Jason's feeding of Bella, he was stronger and fought Jane with everything he got left. He suffered every second he dared to struggle, but he endured it and I gave him so much credit for that.

But in the next moment I could have killed him again as I knew and felt that he touched her in a way, that went beyond intimate. He hated himself for what he did, closed his eyes even, because he couldn't look at Bella anymore. Jane punished him with more excrutiating pain for his disobedience. She was very furious, that he fought so much, that she didn't get already what she wanted. That bitch is more than just sick, she is a total maniac.

Bella still struggled, I shook my head. She hurt herself more and more, my brave one, Emmett was right, that name fits. Jason moved, I saw his legs sliding between Bella's legs while he touched her. I needed to breath this time, I really needed the normally unnecessary oxygen in my lungs now. My heart hammered in my chest, the sound pounded in my ear. If I could have moved I would be the one who would rock back and forth now with the pain of another.

My heart broke in thousand pieces when I heard Bella's hoarse voice. "Jason, please don't, don't do this. Jason please, please." He stopped, already ripped apart inside himself. I used his eyes to look at Bella this time. It was a very bad idea.

Her face so confused, irritated, so scared. I let go of him, couldn't bear to look at her that way. Jane was on full resentment now, she send one wave after another. Jason didn't have the slightest chance as to obey. I growled, groaned and moaned in pain while he touched Bella. His agony drove him mad, Jane pushed, he pushed. I glanced over at her she looked exhausted, Jason did a pretty good job. I felt sorry for him, knew what pain he went through.

Bella was close to unconsciousness, dull, limp. I felt her sickness. She gave up, went still. She was ready to go, ready to endure the rest and leave, again. The lump in my throat choked me. Jason was touching her in places I didn't want to think about, when I heard her panties rip. He screamed inside for forgiveness and Jane jubilated her victory.

I growled in disgust. Followed Jason's movment to Bella's boot suddenly. I frowned, but saw what he did, I closed my eyes and prayed. He wanted to stop, so badly, he was so disgusted with himself, he wanted to die. But Jane thought it funny and send searing, white and hot pain through his whole body this time, it was so real, that I felt it down to my own bones.

And then he touched Bella, at her soft flesh, her breath hitched, her body jerked against the sense. Rosalie closed her eyes and whimpered, it was so loud it got my attention for a second. I understand what she felt, her sympathy for Bella was real and honest. I would thank her later for that.

Suddenly I heard Jason's voice. "Bella I am so very sorry, I try hard not to do this but it hurts. Forgive me, please kill me, I can't hold back much longer before I, before I...., I can never ever forgive myself for what I already did."

She went still, so still, hell even I was shocked, that Jason could speak after all the pain. Bella's heart literally stopped for a few seconds, it was terrifying. I knew the moment she tilted her head and glanced at Jane, that she knew.

I was so proud, as her blood pumped angry through her veins. She knew, that was what she needed. Her body was weak, but her wits worked perfectly or so I thought at one moment. But suddenly she broke down again, I knew why, I could feel it, could feel how humiliated she felt as his hands drove into her core. She yelled out once, the sound of a strangled kitten. My heart went to shreds all over again. She gave up, couldn't endure anymore of this.

Jason screamed inside, thought that was the end, that Bella wouldn't live through that a second time. That brought me back to full attention. _What does he mean, a second time? Oh no, I know what it __means, but. Who, why, when, where? Was this her reason? Was it a vampire?_

I had so many questions, needed to know what had happened the first time around, if my fears were true. I glanced back to Bella, sensed her hatred, sensed her anger, her disgust, the carelessness she showed before. She struggled for control to stay sane. Then I heard Jason scream once before he went limp and dropped on top of Bella. She gasps at his weight and went still for a moment.

I knew she couldn't move, it was impossible and with Jason on top, she could barely breath. But as wonderful and incredible she was and is. She found the strength to push him off after several attempts, fell on top of his chest. Bella panted and breathed hard, sweat broke out, I thought she has never been more beautiful since I first saw her. She pulled the stick out of her friend, so that he could start to heal. Her dizziness was overwhelming actually, I didn't know how she managed to keep her head upright. She needed help, badly, soon, fast. Her eyelids closed and I listened to her heart, to her breathing. I inhaled her scent, welcomed the burning sensation in my throat.

She gathered all her strength, every second. My heart made flips of happiness. Jane lost all color, she was so shocked as she watched Bella. _"That is impossible, she should have killed him, not save him. She is so going to die, I just have to do it myself." _

The second Bella locked eyes with Jane, it gave her an andrenaline rush. She pushed herself up and dragged herself slowly forward. My family was in such awe again they couldn't find any words, hell my intestines just melted at the sight of the brave little angel. Her clothes were torn, blood everywhere, she looked like some horror movie figure, but for me she was the most wonderful person on earth.

I thought she stumbled or something as she bent down, or that she lost the last of her strength finally, but no, she did the unexpected and picked the other wooden stick up and kept moving.

Then suddenly she opened her mouth, her voice so sore and husky it turned me to pudding.

"You know bitch, after Phil I really thought there is nobody else I hate more in the world, but YOU, you did the impossible. I don't care if I die, life doesn't mean anything to me anymore, but I swear, I won't leave this world without you and if that means I have to become a vampire myself, so be it. Like it is Aro's game to brake me rather sooner than later, mine is to kill you. And trust me, it won't be fast, I'll torture you in every possible way I can come up with. You will scream and beg me to end your life after I am done with you.

You might be strong and have a lot of powers, but it's obviously your lucky day that all that doesn't mean shit to me, because it doesn't work. You will rue the day you made me to your enemy. It's a shame that you are such a coward, that you don't have enough stamina to fight me. No, you are so weak that you need others to do so for you. I knew something was wrong when Jason suddenly fought against me and honestly, I was at the point where I truly believed he played with me, but then he struggled long enough to tell me, that it's not him. Too bad for you my dear and lovely Jane, now you pay and I will enjoy it."

Emmett yelled mentally. _"Whoa, she really is something. Brave, strong, confident and oh so stubborn. I don't even know if one of us could go through that. And we are vampires. She is the most incredible human being on earth. Even Jason is something, those two are just, I can't find the right words man." _

Rosalies grudge or whatever she had at the first sight of Bella was completely gone. _"For a human, she is awesome, she stands up, fights, won't give up, I say that once in a lifetime, I really admire her for her strength. We need to find a way to get her out no matter what, I feel how she weakend up with ever passing moment." _

Alice looked, no stared at Bella with her big doe-eyes. I knew that look, she would never let her go ever again. _"Bella is my new hero, my goddess, I always loved humans, but she? She is the best of all of them, she isn't just special, she is unique and that makes her one of us, vampire or not. I will never ever let her go, you know that Edward right?" _

Well that should be fun I thought. All I could think right now was how to bring her to the closest hospital. Every second she got weaker and her heart won't make it much longer. Then Jasper finally talked to me. _"Jane is scared like shit because she knows that her powers don't work on Bella but she is also very furious and since she still got us in her wrath, I won't take any chances. But Bella is weak, she is close to faint I feel it. If she won't get help soon she'll die." _

I swore at the last part, as if I didn't know already, what shall I do? Great, just great.

Bella finally reached the altar, she literally grabbed it, to hold herself upright. I felt how her legs turned to rubber. She looked almost gray, I actually didn't know how she managed to stay at all, it was remarkable. Jane couldn't shut up of course, she was so enraged. "You shouldn't make empty promises. Instead you should look at yourself. So fragile and weak. You can barely stay on your human legs. How could you possibly fight me in that state? It would take me less than a second to kill you." She started to laugh, she really dared to laugh about Bella. Alice said something unintelligible, which was rather stunning, since my good hearing, but the red haze and wrath consumed me again. Jane was so going to die and it would be painful, really long and painful.

I merged my mind with the masters again. Marcus was intrigued now, he enjoyed himself, just watching how Jane gets all angry about a fragile mortal. Caius, to my surprise, hoped that Jane wouldn't make a wrong move, he really adored Bella, for how she is, even though he liked the sight of what had happened, but he is impressed by her and her courage. Aro on the other side, was enraged, more with Jane, that he failed her at some point. He expected more, the end of Bella and Jason. Yet non of them gave up, still stuck together like old times. Of course he couldn't say something out loud, it would reveal his true nature and he can't that suppose to happen. _Sick bastard, that's what he is. _

"Funny that you say that, I should laugh, really, even now, that I am in such a bad condition you are scared like shit to fight me. I must be pretty intimidating to you and I thought I look like a zombie already." I don't know why am I still surprised by Bella, of course she would counteract and in such a nice and defiantly tone. I actually smiled as I heard her smirk. She is in the worst state ever and still smirks, it was rather funny. How can one person be so stubborn and strong in such a sad situation, was beyond me. But I adored her, I really did.

Emmett actually grinned, he couldn't help himself, he had the same thoughts. He thought of her as his very own superwoman, which was hilarious. This girl could melt me from the inside out, as never anyone else could. But the short moment of happiness didn't last long.

Jane got so furious, that she growled and jumped at Bella. She scratched and punshed and hit her over and over again. Bella welcomed every one of them, she lay still and endured it. I felt every single punsh, felt the pain of it, felt Bella's surrender and her unconsciousness, how her life ended. How her heart got weaker and weaker until the beat was almost gone. My heart ached, I felt strangled at the sight, how Bella's blood spread on the floor and over Jane.

My beast waited for the moment for Jane's strength to lessen. It was a short moment, she focused on Bella and forgot about us completeley. But before I could jump, Jason was already on Jane and pulled her away. With one wooden-stick close to her heart, he growled at her. "Hello bitch, I am glad I can touch you now, now I am the one who is going to torture you and trust me, due to the CIA I've learned a lot and the fact that I am like you now, I will enjoy it even more, but you have to wait bitch, I need to save my little girl first."

"Don't be so sure of yourself, you don't have a chance. She is already dead." Jane's voice held fear in it and I enjoyed the sound. She knew it were her last moments before she would die. My family and I jumped in the middle to support Jason. A big tumult broke out through the vampires, they were shocked. But non of them dared to move. They waited for the masters to resolve the problem. It was either because they weren't so much in awe of the kings as I thought or they were or they were just curious to see what would happen next. But I couldn't care less, it made the situation much easier. Even though some of them jumped out of the group and crouched in front of us, growling and defending, but they didn't attack.

Aro, Caius and Marcus rose slowly from the chairs. "You don't know what you are doing, you are new among the vampires, so I forgive you for your impertinence. And now I want you to let Jane go, it is an order." Aro more than just yelled it. He was clearly afraid of losing his prescious subject after all.

"Do you really think I am that stupid? Then you are even less smart than I already thought you are." Jason looked at me pleading. I knew what he wanted to do and I could understand him. I didn't want to lose Bella. I walked over to him and took Jane with great pleasure from him, I poked her with the stick a little bit, so that her blood drippled out of her chest this time. Her breath hitched eventually and I just smirked. "Not so harsh yet, huh? Oh and don't even try to use you mental powers again, I will be faster with the stick than you this time." Her only response was a growl.

Jason moved fast over to Bella, I couldn't hear her heart beat anymore, I shook with fear at the moment. He knelt down beside her small and totally broken body, bit in his wrist and held it to Bella's mouth. With the other he massaged her throat, so that it would be easier for her to drink. I knew she wouldn't fight the compulsion of the blood, she was in an absend minded state, so far away from us, that I actually didn't know if it would work at all. Everybody was watching obviously, it was deathly silence in the hall.

I don't know why Demetri was so stupid, but he actually jumped Jason and tried to pull him off Bella. Jasper closest to him, was already in such rage and emotional shock from the minutes of torture while in Jane's grip, that this move was the last drip for him to get really mad. He growled and lunged forward. Nobody would or could stop him in this state. He was so fast, it was a blur, Demetri couldn't react fast enough. I heard the crack and knew his neck was broken. He slumped to the ground, Jasper picked Bella's other wooden stick up and dragged Demetri from the floor. His head hang in a rather uncomfortable way, but not for long, he would heal in the next passing minutes. Jasper went back with his captive to his first position, so that we all stood in a circle, facing the crowd. The girls armed themselves with the other two swords, even though one was broken, but it wouldn't make any difference for Rosalie. We were determined to fight till the end. Aro screamed with fury once.

"You are all sentenced to die, here and now, subjects I wish you to complete this last task of your master!" That was Aro's own death sentence, the vampires protested loudly. Many of them growled and swore at the masters. There were shouts of disapproval. "How dare you to call us your subjects? All these centuries we lived under your laws and approved of the ways your lead us. We ain't your subjects, never were and never will. Your ego went to far this time. We lived long enough to know what is wrong and right, how to live among the humans. We don't need you to tell us what to do."

I thought that was the end for the masters. Some actually left the hall, without looking back. I saw Aro struggling with himself and his unfortunate for him stupid outburst. "All of you who leave this hall or left already will be banished from this coven and their protection. We don't tolerate disobedience, we are the masters of our tribe and for centuries we kept you save." There were many murmurs and protests again, but the rest of the vampires stayed, though not moving just staring and oberserving.

Jane struggled against my grip, but it just brought her another poke from the stick I held so tightly. All I could think of this very moment was for Bella to live. My family were as much worried. _"I can't see her waking up yet. Her future is so blank. I'm afraid Edward. I really am. What is if we lost her? I can't bear it. I feel like I've known her forever and never. She doesn't deserve death, not now, she is so jung." _Alice voice was strained, full of sorrow. I understand how she felt. I don't know how that was possible but I felt like I lost a part of my soul. There was a constant clenching within me, that felt lost. Rosalie's voice was flippant, though she covered her emotions, I heard she was sorry.

" _I hope Jason knows what he is doing, because right now all I feel is a death body lying on the floor. But anyway, why is the bitch still alive? She caused us so much pain and humilitated us in a way that is unexcusable!" _I sighed at her comment, I knew what Jane did to us, would never forget it, but right now I can't think of killing her when Bella is wrestling for her own life.

"_Edward my man, I know she will live, she must. Just believe. I do or so I think." _That was always the nice think about Emmett, he always stays optimistic until the very last point. He would never give up, no matter what, it's almost like with Bella, she is a fighter just like him.

" _I'm sorry man, I hope everything will be good for you, I feel your affection for Bella. I just hope she will live. Demetri here is almost back to normal, but it won't do him any good. What a jerk, what was he thinking?" _I was glad to hear Jaspers voice as strong as ever, it gave him an adrenaline rush I guess that he could at least brake someones neck. Hell I would have loved it too. But first the most important part was Bella, my angel. Jason rose slowly while he licked his wrist and closed the pinpricks. He came back to me and wanted Jane back. I saw is sorrow and anger, felt it, understand it even. He was the most humilitated of us, the things he was forced to do would leave a mark on him forever. I felt honest compassion for him, for the constant struggle and for the pain he had to endure because of it. I nodded at him as he stood right in front of me. Jason grabbed Jane's arm, very tightly, I was sure there would be many bruises left afterwards, but I didn't care, he deserved it, he had every right to have her. I shook my head when Jane protested and told him to let go off her. "Oh I will let you go, later, after my little girl is awake and I know she is all well again, then you can go, but not where you like it of course." Jane swore and growled at him, but all what it did to her was another poke.

I watched how Bella's wounds slowly closed and healed until I heard the most beautiful sound again, first a beat and then many others. The relief that washed through me was undescribable. When she took her first breathes, the edginess vanished completely. Jane apparently didn't like the fact that Bella would live and throw another dump comment. "You gonna pay for that vampire." Of course Jason just smirked at her, it was rather childish, that she really thought she could still make him pay. "Oh we will see about that, won't we?"

Every single one of us stilled and watched Bella open her eyes, she couldn't see us from the position she was lying on the floor unless she turned her head, but we all could see her. Suddenly I was so surprised, at the speed she used to jump to her feet. I never knew what vampire blood would do to a human till now. It was rather incredible and fascinating how the blood increased the strength.

"_Hey my little girl, I have you back, I am so very sorry what I did." _I heard Jason talking to himself, for him it was the hardest thing I knew. But I couldn't think about it much longer when I heard Bella's sudden musical laugh, the sound of an angel. I wanted to know what was so funny and would have loved to read her mind for the hundreds time by now.

She finally turned around, she took my breath away, with her beauty, her big brown doe-eyes held amusement in them, while she arched her eyebrows. It was so cute I thought. Bella the only human in the room, the one who was brutally tortured and almost died, held real amusement in her eyes. How could I not think of her as the most fascinating person. Eveything about her was a mystery. She looked at Jason first and then grinned at him and just shook her head. I knew there must have been some silent understanding that was typical for humans or something, because I didn't understand a thing, so I merged my mind with Jason. Though he was still miserable and sorrow, he smiled at her, his feelings so real and true it was beautiful to watch, the affection they both had for each other. He thought about old times when they chased other vampires in Rome and Bella got injured, but stood up nonetheless. Jason held the vampire who inflicted her pain tight in his grip, just like now and Bella finished the job.

After the image I actually smiled to myself and couldn't think anything else but to refer to her as my little troublemaker. Then our eyes met and my heart made this silly flip in my chest again. I saw her real feelings behind the mask and felt sorrow instantly. I actually struggled to tame the beast inside of me, not to growl at the memories of what had taken place here just minutes ago.

"Sorry Bella, but I couldn't let you die. I gave you some of my blood. It was instinctively, didn't even know what I was doing, but it worked." I watched Bella's very expression after Jason's statement. She hid them well while she considered her friend for a long time. I knew she thought it through, relived the things from minutes before and I saw just for a single, tiny moment, there was regret. Both of them would have to talk later. It is needed and important. And I hoped they could go back to where they both were, but something told me that wasn't possible anymore and it made me feel even more miserable.

"There is nothing to be sorry for, not from your side at least. Nothing of what had happened was your fault. Let's talk about it later. I think we have other things to do right now." Bella eventually rushed the words, a sign, that she wasn't ready yet. That she needed time to contemplate all the events. Jason sighed, lowered his head, but nodded.

"_Shit, good job Jason, you are always so good with these things. Why don't you just tell her: I want to make up for everything that happened to you my little sweetheart, but I can't and I know an apology won't do any good. I destroyed you in the most brutal way and I would love to tell you I understand if you hate me now, but honestly I as much as I hate myself already, I hope you won't. _

_Gosh what am I gonna say to her? Hell I am a vampire now, she hates them, even thought she said she would have stayed with me. I have to find a way to make her happy again, no matter what." _

Jason's thought would have brought tears to my eyes if I could still cry. They were family for who knows how long and everything just changed within two days.

**Reviews please, it just takes two minutes or so :-) .... it is not that much time right? :-)**


	17. Chapter 17: Freedom

**I didn't know it was possible, but when I wrote this chapter I actually started to cry. It broke my heart at some point. It is my favorite so far and I hope you guys love it just as much as I do :-)**

**Thanks to shadownip and Sidetracked Shay for the reviews :-) and all the other fans who added my story to their favorites :-)**

BellaPoV

I had to think things through, this whole situation was out of control at some point. Just seing Jason's face gave me heartache. I needed time I didn't have right now. Everytime I thought my life couldn't get any worse, it all went down the drain. People might think my life was exciting, an adventure to die for, but I thought I was cursed to live in hell, just not with all the fire and the devils. Though vampires are just as bad and intimidating. And the thought of devils may or may not exists was shuddering.

I asked myself what did I do to deserve this "terrific" destiny? When became my life so strange and odd? Did it start before my mom met Phil? If there was really something like fate, why was I the person who got punished over and over again, for things I didn't even know about? I had so many questions but no answers.

The other thing that drove me insane was the fact I escaped death twice now. I really wanted to die, both times, I was ready, I actually whished for death. But then, another bad ass jerk took the threads and worked his black magic to bring me back. Don't I have a say over my own life? Obviously not. I felt like a doll, a toy, everybody else has control but not me.

I let my breath out slowly, didn't even know I was holding it. When I looked back at Jasper and his friends, they seemed sort of out of place. They were family, something I craved and would never have again. But I was determined to help them and get first of all Jason out of this place, so that he might have a chance of a normal life. Maybe they would take him. At least I hoped they would.

The vampire blood enhanced my abilities, even though not for long, but I would use it and the strength it gave me for the time being. My eyes wandered from almost every single face to face in the hall. I wondered why non of the other vampires attacked, it was rather odd to watch, as if they waited for something. There were almost 200 hundred against 6 vampires and one human. It was actually scary to think about it. It would take them less than a second to kill me. Oh yeah right, I forgot I was somehow protected from the last step of freedom.

At last I glanced back at Jason and his captive. Jane didn't look so smug anymore, she looked angry and something else, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was, maybe fear?

I put an extra sarcastical edge to my voice and a little compassion for her. "You are bleeding, how did that happen, I hope my friend didn't hurt you?" She snarled at me which earned her a poke with the stick, she stiffened, obviously uncomfortable in her position.

"You know you were just lucky and if your defiant friend wouldn't have helped you, you would be dead. So don't think you are something special, because you are not." I rised an eyebrow and kept the rest of my face totally blank without any expression whatsoever. She was right, I just lived because of Jason and it clenched my gut. This time it wasn't just somebody who thought it would be important to bring me back. No, it had to be my very own best friend. I was annoyed and somewhat enraged and dissapointed.

"Well I guess somebody got big plans for me, after all I escaped death twice now. Or when I think about it, it was you the first time around as well who tried to off me, so maybe it is just not for you to kill me but the other way around." Jane glared at me, it was her most intimidating look so far, and it reminded me of "if looks could kill", it just couldn't scare me. I was pissed.

"You can't make it out of here alive!"

"We will see won't we?"

"You are so sure of yourself human, I don't know if it's your arrogance or stupidity?"

"Let me think about it..." deliberately I scratched my head as if in deep concentration. "...NO, I think it's non of it. But the complete trust in my friend who happens to be a vampire now and who has you in a rather tight grip I would say." Jane hissed at me in disgust and total annoyance.

I just shrugged my shoulders at her in utter dismiss and before she could say something else, she was interrupted by a loud fake cough from the big muscled guy. "I don't want to disturb your catfight, but we better head out of here soon guys."

He was right, it was paramount to get out, the fight could wait. I don't know why I did it but I grinned at him for a second and he smiled back. It was odd to me, that I would consider to help a vampire and even listen to one. But with Jason's conversion, it changed many things. "Trust me, I want to get out of here like nothing else. I hope you guys know the way, because I tried it several times, but this is like a freaking maze for me, so I have to rely on you."

Jasper actually giggled. It confused me and I had second thoughts about them. But when I looked at him, he smiled at me, his expression held so much assurance that I dismissed my worries. But I held in mind to ask him later why he giggled when I didn't say anything funny.

"Don't worry, we definitely know the way, remember we just came here to pay them..." the black haired girl pointed at the masters behind me. "... a visit and to pick up Jasper." I liked her voice, it was almost mesmerizing, so very calm. I nodded at her. "Alright, that's all I need to know. Jason I trust you to take Jane with us, I have unfinished business with her after all." Jane snarled and struggled against my friends grip, he just squeezed her throat a little tighter and poked her. I smelled the blood dripping out of her skin. I wrinkled my nose at the metal, salty scent. I really couldn't understand what was so luring for the vampires, because I still didn't like the smell of blood and with my enhanced ability I found it even worse.

"Oh common, did you just insult me? Me the former CIA agent? I know how to handle this little one here." Jason said it with a pout but winked at me. I smiled at him and shook my head. _Oh yes he still is my beloved friend. Thanks for that._

I made my way slowly to the doors, totally focused and alerted on the vampires around us, as would the others I was sure. Demetri apparently didn't like to come with us, he kicked backwards with so much force, Jasper and him, both stumbled and fell. Jasper landed with his back on the floor, his grip tightened around Demetri's throat, who used his elbow to hit his opponent in the chest, he never quivered, as if it was a child he struggled with. He was more skilled, faster and smarter. So Jasper used the momentum and spun around, pulling his captive with him. The motion so fast, I wasn't sure I could have followed with normal human sight.

Suddenly I sensed danger. It was an odd feeling, my intestines clenched in anticipation. An adrenaline rush went through my whole body down to my toes. At that exact moment somebody grabbed my throat like a vise and pulled me backwards. My breath hitched. Then I just heard a squishing, a scream, then smelled blood and Jasper jumped backwards, growling. Demetri lay dead with a stick through his heart on the floor and I cursed myself for being so distracted, it was all planned. My eyes locked with the way to good looking vampire as he realized, just like the others what had really happened. They all growled with anger.

Jane laughed out loud in victory, but stopped immediately as Jason stabbed her with the stick, it wasn't a death blow, but close. She yelled out in pain and that satisfied me. The hand around my throat tightened and I started to struggle for breath. "If you like her to live you let Jane go, right now and if any of you dares to come any closer, you little human will be dead within seconds!" It was Aro, his voice dropped an octave while he spoke, it sent a cold shower through me.

I was furious with myself and my lack of attention. I couldn't believe how such a dump ass trick got me so easily captured.

I couldn't breath, was close to suffocate, but didn't move or struggled, just stood still. Jason and the others looked as if they would jump any second, but I shook my head as much as I could in Aro's grip. Jason frowned at me, but I narrowed my eyes and gave him a pleading look.

My blood boiled, I felt totally alive and strong, the fact that I was dying didn't prevent my body to feel excited somehow. I wasn't scared or panicked, I was calm and ready for whatever was to come. I put my fingers on the hand at my throat and tried to get a grip. My nails scratched my own skin. Aro's hand tightened even more, trying to prevent me to get free. His fingers digging and throttling. My muscles clenched, pain grew, my throat burned and I knew I had seconds left. I closed my eyes, concentrated not to move and lose more energie.

My own blood seeped out of my skin, made it easier to get a grip on Aro's hand. I felt how my lungs worked, how my heart hammered in my chest, it was an continuing sound in my ears. At the very last moment before the blackness could catch me completely, I sliced deeper with my nails, hurt myself even more, but grasped two of Aro's fingers and bent them away from my throat until I heard the crack and a muffled shriek.

The hand left my throat and I fell to my knees, gasping, coughing and struggling for air. The beautiful stranger jumped at Aro. I tilted my head so that I could keep on watching. My heart raced, I couldn't tell if it was because of my strangled breath or that the cute vampire just attacked the master of their tribe and I was scared for him. The force of the jump pushed Aro backwards several feet, he growled and cursed while my stranger hit him over and over again. Aro defended himself just as well, punching and kicking back. The sight of them hitting each other relentless and brainless, reminded me of one of the bars back in the US, where two men fought over a girl. They battered each other so badly, that the ambulance drove them to the hospital.

But this was somehow different. It looked so brutal, totally senseless. Every human would be dead by now. Blood spattered, the smell of it filled the air as did the sound of every single punch they shared, it sounded like thunder. I winced at every single blow my adonis absorbed from Aro. It was a fight between equals. Aro threw the stranger back against the opposite wall, then followed. It was actually scary to watch, it was the first time I really saw how much strength those creatures really have.

The vampire blood in my veins, healed my wounds already so I stood up, looking around. Caius and Marcus watched the fight. Non of them looked as if they planned to interfere, I even would have said they actually looked amused, though I didn't think there was anything delighting about it.

Then the little black haired girl came to me in a flash and hugged me suddenly. Totally unexpected and akward to me, I just stood stock-still and kept my eyes on the senseless fight. As she let go off me she smiled, her eyes held stars in them. "Are you alright Bella? Gosh I am so proud and impressed by you. My name is Alice by the way. Common we need to get out, the boys can handle the rest. Non of the vampires will attack before and after Aro is dead." It was a definite statement which made me frown. _How could she possible know that Aro will die, right now the only thing I see, is to men fighting each other brainless bloody. _

Alice ran to the other girl of their group and told her something. Jason stood close by, with Jane still in his grip, still bloody. When I reached them Jason's expression almost made me cry. He looked so sorrowful and miserable. "Hey sweety are you alright? I fell for the trick with Demetri, just as the others did. I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough to help you."

"It was good you didn't interfere, I could handle myself pretty good." I didn't want to, but I sounded very flippant. Instantly I regretted how I said it and what. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to snap at you. I don't know why I did. I, I, I don't know what I want to say." I frowned at him and gave him my best apologetic look. If possible Jason looked even more pained when ever. I sighed and watched Aro and the stranger still fighting.

The walls held several dents. Broken stones and lights spread the floor. Blood spattered almost every single hole they made. It was horrible, it seemed endless, they both looked totally bruised and torn already, but neither of them would end it. I shook my head. Alice grabbed my wrist and pulled me forward suddenly. I tried to get free but she was a vampire and much stronger, though she didn't hurt me, but her hold was tight and I couldn't do other than follow her. The blond girl and Jason walked ahead of us. I turned my head and watched the progress, I winced, the sight actually hurt. Every muscle clenched and I shuttered as both fighters flew into a chandelier. Glass splattered, sliced through skin. Neither of them yelled out in pain or indicated they were in agony. Instead both growled furious at each other and kept on hammering, battering and punshing. Jasper and his brother or whatever he was to him, focused mostly on the others, to secure their family member would not be attacked by another one. Though I just thought, if they would all attack at the same time, the fight would be over soon and non of them would see the sun ever again.

I almost fell while I watched the most horrible combat and at the same time tried to take the steps. "Common Bella, lets go, he will be fine, though I don't kow why Edward still plays with him." That brought me back to focus on Alice. _So my greek god is called Edward. It suits him, it sounds kind of ancient and romantic. How can I think about that in such a bad situation? Am I getting insane? I need a shrink, that is what I need. But still he looks so adorable and all these muscles. Gosh Bella stop._

The pixy, that is what I thought at the moment of Alice, dragged me through the hallways, we passed the room I slept in, several paintings, went left and right until I really didn't know anymore where we were. It really was a maze of big brown doors, torches and paintings. But she seemed to know where she was going, or so I hoped at least.

The blond girl stopped and opened one of the heavy doors, I thought we would find another hallway, but instead she brought us to the armory. I was astonished at the huge arsenal, there were weapons I've never seen in my life. I wondered why vampires would gather so much when just their bodies are already weapons.

I looked around for a moment and found what I am used to best. I tucked the two wooden-sticks in my boots and walked over to Jane. She narrowed her eyes at me and hissed. "Bella, you are one lucky one." I smiled at her and just nodded. She looked paler somehow and weaker. My eyes wandered to her chest wound, it was still bleeding. I knew Jason kept on stabbing her, to keep her injured. Somehow I didn't want him to continue, I wanted her for myself. Rage welled up inside of me again at the memory of what she did. She would suffer, she would suffer dearly.

I dismissed the thought as Alice's musical voice rang in my ears. "Hey Bella, Jason let's go, we have everything!" My eyes rested a moment longer on Janes chest before I turned around. Alice and the blond girl both armed themselves with wooden sticks as well, then went out.

They led the way rigth to the next door. This time it was a different hallway, stone steps led upward through the arched tunnel. Torches lighted the way. I sighed in relief. For the first time in days I felt the growing tension ease. I knew we weren't out of here, yet I felt free already. Just the sight of a totally different room and the steps that went up not down, made me happy. I stopped walking for a second and touched the cold stone walls and just inhaled deeply. Even the air was different. I closed my eyes and captured the moment of long wished freedom.

"Hey are you alright? You seem tense?" I didn't recognize the voice, it was also mesmerizing and wonderful. I looked up. It was the blond girl who spoke for the first time with me. I frowned at her, couldn't quite comprehend what she just said to me. "I'm sorry, did you say something to me, I was just kind of dreaming for a second." She smiled at me, her eyes held total understanding. "I've asked you if you are alright, you seemed a little tense suddenly. We are almost out of here, don't worry, nothing will happen to you again. Oh and my name is Rosalie." All I could do was nod. Her words brought me close to tears again. _We are almost out, out, out. I can't believe it._

She regarded me for another moment, then turned around and moved once more. Jason glanced back at me worried, but didn't say anything. Instead we kept walking, it felt like an eternity and my legs started to ache, the muscles clenched at the workout. When I looked at the others, they seemed totally fine and I was sweaty and breathing hard. The compound was really deep underground and there must have been at least thousand steps until we reached the top.

When we stopped, I bent over and put my palms on my knees and just breathed. My heart hammered in my chest. In front of us was a stone wall, just like the rest of the tunnel. I frowned and stared at it, but caught myself at the growing panic of lost freedom. It wouldn't make sense to build a staircase so long and aching and light it up when there wasn't a door, but it looked so perfect.

Rosalie traced the wall with her hands until she obviously found what she was looking for. The wall really happened to be a hidden door. It opened slowly, utterly quiet, which was odd, but I didn't mention it. We came from the tunnel to another room, a very dark room, it smelled old and used. I actually sneezed from all the dust. It was the dreamland for rats and spiders I thought. No wonder nobody ever found out about the huge compound underground. This was probably abandoned for several decades. Thanks to my enhanced sight I could make out a single bed or something close to it, I didn't dare to touch it. There were no windows, or maybe it was just dark outside, but then I would have seen some lights or the moon or something through the suppose to be windows.

"We are almost outside Bella, take my hand, I know you can't see as good as we can." I heard Alice say before she grabbed my hand and led the way through another room, a store-room I thought. Also abandoned for several years and just as dusty and bad smelling. On the way I walked into some wooden box and hit my knee. I swore at my own stupidity and heard Jason giggle. _I need to remember to hit him later on. _"Remind me later to hit you! I'm not the one with super sight and senses, so have some respect and sympathy!" I snapped at him, but had to hide my own chuckle.

"Hey sorry, I didn't want to offend you, it was just so typical you."

"What is that suppose to mean? Are you trying to tell me I am clumsy?"

"Well, what shall I say, you are a great fighter, fearless, very controlled and all, but sometimes when you are just suppose to walk straight you hit something. And that's rather funny, don't you think?" I just growled in my throat and shook my head in denial.

Alice opened another door, the room held a very old wooden staircase. It looked rather fragile as if it could brake at the tiniest movement. I waited a second before I got all my courage and stepped on it. Every time my feet pressed down, the wood squeaked and crunched. The air was much better in here and as we made our way upstairs, I could almost smell the fresh wind.

Once at the top I knew I was one step away from freedom, from sky, from real life, from colors, from humans, from nature. I opened the door in curious anticipation and stepped out into the night.

I closed my eyes, spread my arms as if I would start to fly every second and bent my head back, inhaled the fresh, flower and ocean scented air into my lungs. I never felt better in my life I thought. I welcomed the night, the sounds of life, even though it must have been in the middle of the night, I heard people talking and walking in the distance. The sound of cars and motorcycles made my heart jump in delight. I heard birds flying above. The wind danced slowly around and in my hair.

When I looked up, I was greeted by a star filled, deep blue sky with the fullmoon smiling down at me. At that moment I appreciated the earth and my human life like never before. It was the most beautiful view I would never ever forget. I lookd around, took eveything in as much as I could. Nature has never been any more fascinating. In front was a big fountain. The water shimmered silver in the moonlight, it's sculptures seemed so peaceful and relaxing I wanted to cry.

I led my tension come out, all the stored desperate emotions over the past days. I enjoyed my tears that fell freely down my cheeks while I mentally embraced the nature and the fact that I really was outside.

I don't know how long I stood there, but I was glad that non of the others tried to rush me. They gave me all the time I needed to get myself back together. Once I felt human again, I turned around and looked at them.

I arched my eyebrows and felt embarrassed as Jasper, Edward and the other family member of theirs stood there watching me. Though I felt relieved to see that Edward was alive and his wounds already healed, but nonetheless totally at odds that I showed my emotions so open in front of strangers.

Though they all smiled at me, their faces held so much sincerity and compassion it melted my heart. Jason looked at the moon and inhaled deeply. It must have been overwhelming for him as well. And now as vampire, the world must seem totally different to him. I felt sorry again and wished I could set the time back.

The big muscled guy stepped forward, stretched his hand out and intruduced himself as Emmett. "I hope you are alright? I see you enjoy the night." I took his hand and smiled up at him. He was so tall, up close he looked like an invincible wall and everybody would have been scared by his size, but I saw sincerity and goodness in him. I knew he could never harm an innocent.

I stepped back a little and watched each one of them. All of them looked breathtaking in the moonlight, their skin so flawless and beautiful, they could have been carved from marble. They really were from a totally different world and my friend was part of this world now I thought instantly. The men looked like gods, protective and strong. The woman more beautiful beyond words and just as powerful. The fact that they stood so close together, Jasper embracing Alice from behind and Emmett held his arm around Rosalie, Edward between them all and Jason with Jane to the left. They looked like friends, like family, they were one species, one of a kind. They belonged together no matter what. And for the first time I felt even lonelier and outcasted than ever. I didn't belong to their world, I didn't even know if I belonged to mine anymore.

They saved my life and I would never forget what they did. I've learned that not all vampires are bad and cruel. But I had to find my own way now, my own life. I had to figure out who I really am, what I want, those last days underground changed my life even more if at all possible. I knew I would have to hide, my life as hunter just really started and would never be over. I might have found friends at some point, but also more enemies than I could ever fight.

I felt how my lungs tightened and my stomach churned, I was scared of my future and about what will come. I felt uncomfortable and more vulnerable than ever before. The tears so close to the surface again. I took it as my sign to become the hunter I was once more. I blinked once, to keep the tears at bay and hide my emotions. I knew the moment when my expression gave nothing than a blank face away and I was finally capable to answer.

Emmett looked at me and started to frown, I knew it took me a while to respond, but I couldn't help it, I can't afford for them to care about me and for me to care about them, which I do already too much. "Sorry I just needed some time. Yes I am fine, actually perfectly fine for the first time since days and months. I still don't know how long I have been here, I guess around two weeks, but it was enough to understand and learn. I have to thank all of you for what you did. Without you I would be dead. I think differently about vampires now, at least about few of them. I don't know much about you, but I see your affection for each other. You are family and that is the most important thing. You care and try to live a normal human life, which surprises me still that you can do it at all. I am glad that non of you died today and you are still together and probably will be for eternity.

Jason I am glad you haven't changed, I thought the worst when you....lets just say, when you had the blackout. I love you with all my life, you cared about me when it was most needed and I will never forget what you did for me. I know it wasn't easy to live with me sometimes. It makes me happy that we both made it out of here alive. I'm sorry that I tried to kill you twice, but it wasn't really deliberate. I know you can handle yourself and your new existence. I know you will enjoy it, you have many benefits from it and you have a new task to learn. But I'm not worried in the slightest that you can't control you thirst, you did more than good apparently. You are the most strong-willed, stubborn male, but you know that already. You know what is right and wrong, I trust you in every possible way. I hope you will stay with Jasper and his family, of course if they exept you.

So I think that's all I can say right now, I have one more business to take care of. Which means you can give Jane to me now. I still have your vampire blood inside of me so that I can fight her on my own." I pulled one of the woodensticks out of my boot and stretched my hand out to a snarling Jane. I knew they all understand perfectly well what I actually said and I hoped they would exept it just the way it is. But unfortunately I didn't get my way, like almost always. Alice interrupted her family as they all tried to speak at once, her voice brought me way too close to a brake down again, but I didn't show it.

"Bella, I, No, we want you to stay with us and Jason of course. I have never met another human being like you. I don't know your life or what happened that brought you in such a young age to hunt such as us. But after what happened today and I guess I speak for all of us, when I say, it was the most courage, impressive and bravest think ever done. I still don't understand how you could live through something like that and still fight like nothing happened. I admire your strength, your will and your compassion. I don't know if it's true, but I guess you don't have anybody else to live with. I know we are not human, but we really live like them, we have a huge house, enough space for everybody. We don't even live close to what you had to endure these past days. I know it is much to ask, but please consider our offer. I can't live with knowing that you are out in the world and hunt vampires on your own." Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and Edward nodded in agreement with Alice. I had to swallow. The lump in my throat grew and grew. When I dared to look at Jason, I could have kicked myself. There was so much compassion, sorrow, devastation in his eyes, I couldn't stand to look at him much longer. These people didn't just pretent to like me, they really did and I could see it in each face. I could read it in their eyes. Jason sighed and then spoke.

"I know it might not be the best time to talk about it, but I have to. I know I can't make up for the things I did to you today. It was humiliating, intimidating and I don't have anything to say that could excuse any of it. I abused you, hurt you and destroyed you all over again. When we first met in New York and we talked for hours in that bar, I saw your sorrow, your escape, your pain, your distrust and all the other things you carried during the year when you were traveling through the US all alone. I saw your courage, your determination and I saw a girl who lost her life, her soul that needed somebody to trust and start living again. Right in that bar I knew I would never let you go out of there on your own. I knew I would take you with me and try to make up for the things I did wrong with my family. We fought a lot about me trying to be your father substitue and at some point, that was exactly how I felt about you. I enjoyed every single second to be with, you gave me my life back and I had a family. Over these past months together, I learned everything about you and I always thought, that I would have loved my daughter to be like you.

You are the most incredible person I have ever met. Nothing could brake you, you stood up over and over again. I was impressed and I admired you, but I also thought that girl is not even an adult yet and had seen and endured more in the world than others ever will. During these past month I watched you closely, observed you and I saw that you got something back from all the things we did together. It was the greatest gift of all, that I could give you back happiness at some point, though I know you never stopped being haunted, but still I saw what you liked and what made your days easier to live. I can't even describe how happy it made me when you had this gleam in your eyes time and time again. How your face would lite up and you could be a teenager just like you were suppose to be.

And with what I did today, I took all these past months away from you again, I can read it in your posture in your eyes, in your whole expression. I was the person who teached you how to mask yourself from others and this is what you do right now, but I lived with you and I know what you are feeling right now.

I know you are broken, haunted and alone all over again and it is my fault. Remember that moment when I could tell you that it wasn't me but Jane? I was ready to die, because I hated myself so much for the things I did, for the deep sorrow I put back in your beautiful eyes, for the feelings you endure just at this very moment. And I was so shocked that even then, while I destroyed you, you still had enough compassion to share my life. I hate and despise myself for the rest of my life and I know it will be a very long life, an eternity. I wanted to die, to end my life, I was ready and welcomed the last step.

But after I saw that you just won't give up, which I honestly would have. I told myself I have to live with what I did and even if it is a life in sorrow, I can manage that somehow, I have to. I can't bear to leave the world so easily knowing that you would still be here and try to endure every single day of life. But what I can't manage is that you hate me, despise me or worse that you are out there somewhere, fighting vampires, escape from the world you should live in, keeping the humans safe, but lose you own life for it. And one day you will die because of it and you won't have had one of these sparkling days I so loved to see. Let me help you, let me aid you. Please Bella, I can't live without you, I can't live with the pain I put you through, without trying to help you."

I couldn't help it, I never knew that Jason saw me so clearly after all, what he really felt, why he gave a stranger a home so fast. My heart felt like pierced with thousand daggers. My throat burned and my lungs hurt with every breath I took. I didn't care anymore, I couldn't care anymore. So my tears ran over my cheeks, I lost my whole composure within minutes. I didn't even know when I exactly slid to the ground and sat on my knees crying like a baby. I cried my heart out, for my mom, for my dead for all the humans who had met vampires and were destroyed by them. I felt so alone, even though there was my best friend right in front of me, who just told me how much he loved me. I sobbed and tried to breath.

Only Jane's annyoing voice brought me back to reality. "Oh common that is so really heartbraking here. It's so pathetic. Do you guys want to stay here all night?" That gave me the rest. I heard the others growl and shout at her in disgust, but I was the one with the stick already in my hands. I jumped up and was on Jane in a flash. I just managed to warn Jason to let go off her instantly, before I started to stab her over and over again in deep rage. She screamed when the stick pierced through skin, muscles and tissue over and over again. But she fought back, I wanted her to feel as much pain as possible, before I would give her the deathblow. I growled as one of the others tried to get me off.

Jane screamed in agony and scratched and punched me, but non of it mattered. Her blood spattered the floor, smeared me anew. I broke her almost every bone with my current strength. The knuckles of my free hand were badly battered and I knew she broke several of my rips, but nothing mattered. I was in a raging frenzy and enjoyed every single moment of it. I welcomed ever single stinging, churning and gnawing pain she gave me with her nails and hands, until I grew tired and gave her the last blow, but not all the way through the heart. But it was enough to hear the scream I was waiting for. It held sheer pain and agony. I knew she is going to suffer now, since I have just one inch left to pierce her heart, she would be hurting in the next few minutes and bleed almost to death.

I was exhausted, my breath came shallowed and every muscle ached. "So I tell you what bitch and it will be the last thing somebody will ever tell you. I actually feel sorry for you, because you obviously never knew love, you never had a real friendship I guess or a family, though you were born human some centuries ago. I feel sorry for you because you can't admit that you are actually totally desperate with your own life with what you have become and that you were used by the masters, though I don't understand why you stayed, because you were the strongest of them and the masters feared you. But I don't feel sorry do kill you right now. I was already destroyed before I met you, but I can't tolerate that you destroyed one of the most important people I have. I can't tolerate your bitchiness and your foul mouth. The first time I layed my eyes on you, I hated your guts and now I am the one who will destroy you after all these centuries of torturing others and the best part is, that I am human. So my lovely Jane, I wish you a lot of fun with Lucifer in hell." With that I pushed down and took her life for all eternity. I closed my eyes and just breathed. I was tired and weak, my body ached almost everywhere and I wanted to be alone. Someone dragged me away from Jane's dead body and pulled me close to his chest. I knew it was Jason, who embraced me, tucked me close, who stroked my bloodied hair and rocked me like a child while I wept. My voice was husky and came in gasps, but I knew they all would understand what I was about to say.

"Jason I am so sorry that I put you through so much, I never knew you saw me that clear. I never wanted someone to be so devoted to my life. I feel like I took something precious away from you. And I am so sorry that I thought I hated you. After I woke up again, I felt hatred for you, for what you did, even though I knew it wasn't you, but something inside of me, wanted to hurt you back for that. But it is all gone, I could never hate you. You don't have to apologize, ever. It happened and I have to live with it, but non of it was your fault. The person responsible is dead now and I thought I would feel better, but I don't, not in the slightest. I hate myself instead, for being so cruel and enraged. For being a maniac, who stepped her senseless. And now I know that, if I should ever find Phil and kill him just as Jane, I won't feel better. I have to live with what he did, what Jane did to me through you. It won't never go away, the pain, the nightmares, the hatred for vampires. I can't live with you Jason, I never can. I know you guys are different, even lovable. But I can't live with others not right now, not ever. I need to figure things out for myself, I need to be alone. The way I act right now, is not me, this is not Isabella Swan, this is some weak little girl who can't control herself. My whole world is upside down right now and you have to learn enough for yourself Jason. I need you to go with them, have a family and friends. I need you to be happy and try to live as normal as possible which you can't when you are with me. I would always see your sorrow, how miserable you are when I have another of my brakedowns. I would see that you feel youself guilty. But let me tell you, you are not, I love you, I really do, but I need you to leave, I need you to leave me alone. Please Jason. Take the others and leave me."

I couldn't talk anymore, my heart felt so heavy, my lungs suffocated. I just really wanted to die. I didn't want to live in this world anymore. Everything around me withered. I can't afford to have friends or somebody who cares about me. They are all sentenced to death. I am haunted in my dreams and now I am hunted in my life as well. Nobody would be safe.

Instead of pushing Jason away from me I pressed even closer into him. I craved his love so much, that it hurt. I told myself just one more minute before I would walk away and leave them in peace. I cried so much, that I trembled. For the first time I was really scared, afraid and anxious for the ones around me. I worshipped every single second in Jason's arm, his somehow warm body calmed me as noting else coud, so did his caress. I actually didn't want to leave, I wanted to stay and keep him with me forever, but I knew it was selfish, that I wanted indulge myself.

I couldn't do that, I had to get away, so I finally pushed at him until he let go off me. I rose and stepped away, my hands trembled, I was cold and I was hungry. When I looked at them, I almost broke down again and decided to stay after all. But I told myself over and over again, that their adoration, compassion, sorrow and friendship was something I could never have. I even tried to convince myself it was all just a joke, a part of my imagination. At this moment I would have done everything.

Jason stood up, held his hand out to me, but didn't move any closer in my direction. He looked with pleading big doe eyes at me as did Alice. She seemed pained, forlorn. "Bella, please, you are really braking my heart here. I want you to come with us, right now, it is over, nobody will ever hunt you. Aro is dead, Demetri and Jane as well. The trust between the vampires is completely broken, due to the masters. You are safe with us, we are so many in our family and there are even two more back where we live. Our parents, Esme and Carlisle, they would love you just as I do. Please Bella, I don't know whatelse to say to you, I just beg you to come with us, don't abandon us. Our lives might be different, but we have fun and sometimes it is exciting even in our boring family. We would show you so much, no other human would ever see or understand. We care a lot for each other and every single one of us is somewhat special and so are you. Please?" Her voice was so hazy I knew she cried unreal tears. It made my heart ache even more and a headache pounded in my skull. I just inhaled deeply for the moment, tried to calm down, which was hard with all these nice things they had to say.

"I thank you so much for everything. I really do, but please don't plead any further. I won't come with you, not today not tomorrow not ever. I don't belong into...lets say your world. I have to live my own human life. And maybe you are right, that nobody will hunt me, but I can't be sure about that and neither can you.

I want to find my own way, I actually have to. I went from school, without even graduating to being a hunter of vampires. I want to see whatelse is there for me in the world. Without vampires and blood and nightmares. I want to try to live my own life without the horror movie part. And honestly if I stay with you, it won't help me." I bit my lip at the last part, because I didn't believe in it, not for a second. But I had to be harsh, so that they hopefully give up and leave.

"I know we are fantasy things for most of the population, but you know we exist, so it would be nonsense to pretent otherwise. I even understand that you want a normal human life, hell we want that too. But we don't always get what we want."

"Alice are you trying to force me? If so, let me tell you I don't like it very much. I was forced into so many things lately that this is the last thing you could convince me with. It is rather low of you, to say something like that. But still I know you are right, we don't always get what we want, but I am determined to change that, right here and now. Please leave me now, because I will definitely turn around now and walk away. I wish you well... all of you. Goodbye."

With that I turned around and slowly walked away with tears burning in my eyes. _Please leave me alone now, I can't take anymore. Please, please, please. _

I kept strolling down the street, unfortunately not for long. Somebody put his arms around me from behind and hugged me tight. I knew it was Jason, his touch so familiar and caring to me. "I can't let you go, I just can't. What do I have to do, I do everything!"

I closed my eyes and held on to him. He gave me a heartache. How was I suppose to get out of his cherish and oh so welcoming embrace. He was my only family for so long, the only person who kept me sane. I knew the next thing I would say, will brake his heart even more, but I had to.

I gathered all my stubborness and put some anger and truth in my voice.

"Listen carefully to me now! You are a vampire now, the very thing I hunt and despise. You destroyed me all over again and I don't know how long I can hold on to my sanity before I stab you. Trust me I'll do it if you won't let me go now!"

I stood still, let my arms slide down and waited. Jason didn't answer, I just heard him sigh and felt his arms slowly ease away. Without looking back, I continued walking. I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked my tears away.

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	18. Chapter 18: new stranger

**And here it comes...my new chapter:-) It was the first one, where I didn't know where to go with it. I didn't plan or had any ideas before I started writing it. But in the end I think it turned out good, at least it makes some sense or so I hope :-) **

**Unfortunately for the last chapter I haven't gotten any reviews at all, which makes me sad. All the reviews I've gotten so far were all positiv, so I really don't know what is wrong???? But I don't give up and hope that some fans decide to give me something back - like reviews - for the hard work, even though it is fun, but it takes time a lot of it :-) **

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BellaPoV

The longer I strode through the streets of Volterra, the more I longed for company, for somebody to come back and ask me one more time to join the vampire family. I actually looked back to see if Jason or one of the others followed me and just giving me some space and privacy or so I hoped.

I sighed at the empty street behind and in front of me. Though the little beige and sandy colored cottages with their reddish roofs and adorned flowers and plants filled the walkways on either side toghether with the now and then stray dog or cat, I felt abandoned, totally lonely.

_Great Bella, what have you done now? You don't have any money and therefore you are stuck in this ghostly city. Your clothes are soaked in blood, dried and fresh. You have no place to go to and in your current getup. _I looked down at myself._ I look like some figure out of a freaking horror picture, clothes shredded, blood everywhere and I don't even want to see my face or my hair whatsoever. I would probably scare the people, if I would try to find some shelter and they would call the police or worse the nuthouse. All in all I was screwed in every possible way. _

As hunger, thirst and exhaustion grew, so did my desperation, my headache and the aching in my muscles from the hours walking and the cold of the night, without any real goal or destination. It was still kind of dark and I wondered again how incredible beautiful the sky was. Orange, red and purple strings of light loomed in the crack between heaven and earth on the horizon, indicating that dawn and sunrise was close. I was fascinated by the colors, how they merged with each other in sheer harmony.

The morning seemed so peaceful and undisturbed. The wind played and danced with the birds who where already up, looking for food or just enjoyed the freedom of flying. I wanted and needed water, the same with shelter and sleep. So I dragged myself futher and further, seeking for liquid to ease the burning in my throat and to finally wash the blood off.

Fortunately for me, I came what seemed to be a marketplace, there were already people, who set up their booths with fruits and bread and even meats. Just the sight made my mouth water and my stomach churn in anticipation.

I felt how their glances bored into me, it was uncomfortable and awkward. But what should I do? Neither of these people knew what happened and if they would they wouldn't believe it. All I could do was keep on walking and put some distance between the starer and me.

The air was already warm and humid. Perspiration added to my already sticky clothes and fatigue. I felt like crying and hiding somewhere in a dark corner and just stay there forever. Every time my eyes fell close my head dropped on its own acord, so that my neck twitched once and the whole procedure started all over again. At a sluggish pace, I dragged my feet forward, step for step. I felt dull and numb, couldn't concentrate or think at all.

Just as I wanted to give up and sit down to wait for whatever was to come I finally saw what I seeked for so long. The well stood in a dark corner of yet another marketplace. Or maybe it was still the same, I couldn't tell anymore, the only thing that kept me going was hope of water.

Once I reached the well, I threw the bucket into the dark depths and sighed with relief as I heard the splashing sound. After I pulled it back out I drank deeply, then tipped the rest over my head. I repeated the procedure four times after I loosened my scrunchy. The water was ice cold and I shivered each time it splashed over me, but it was the best feeling. And it also woke me up as nothing else could and I needed to get the blood out of my hair, which wasn't the easiest task when it was so curly and waistlong. My clothes were soaked of course, but I got some of the basic colors back of my shirt and skirt. And after rubbing and washing, my skin was bloodfree as well.

Satisfied and with more energie I walked over to where the first rays of sun reached the ground already. I sat down, my back against the wall and braided my finger combed hair, then pulled my legs up and leaned my head on my knees, closed my eyes and waited for the sun to rise.

The new won energie didn't last long, fatigue and pur exhaustion took over my body in a flash and I fell fast asleep within seconds.

Nightmares sneaked like snakes to the surface and took me back where I never wanted to go again. Vampires with nasty grimaces, drank from every part of my body, touched me in every possible way and tortured me until I died, just to bring me back with their blood. The scenes changed from bad to worse, from bloody to gagging awful and there was no escape for me. They ruled my dreams, haunted my spirit and destroyed it more and more every single time these monsters brought me back to an unwanted life.

I woke up crying, sweaty, aching and panting for air. The sun was at its peak and I sat in the burning rays, getting grilled. I squeezed my eyes to look around in the bright sunlight. People were everywhere, filled the rows and aisles of booths that weren't there in the early morning. Pitchman yelled through the crowds in Italien, one louder than the other, they sounded like roosters, their voices would get huskier and hazier with every passing minute, trying to sell their goods for the most possible cheapest price, they could offer. Though I didn't understand a word, but I didn't have to. There were Pitchman in Rome and also in the United States, it was everywhere the same.

People tried to get the best of everything, for the cheapest price. They negotiated with salers as long as it would take for both of them to be satisfied. I never understand how humans could stand it week after week, year after year. Why wouldn't they just go to a grocery store like the majority of the population and buy the things they need fresh and in silence right from the rows and shelfs, where everything is nicely stocked and properly displayed?

I shrugged and shook my head at the sheer insanity of this place. The turmoil took all tension from the terrible nightmare completely away within minutes. Instead gnawing hunger made my head pound and my stomach churn.

When I got up I had to hold on to the wall, my legs felt like rubber and that was uncomfortable. The scorching in my throat was back as well, which annoyed me even more. I sighed again, when I realized, that I would have to steel some food. I never liked to be a criminal, which I felt like every single time I killed a vampire, even though they were already dead. And now I have to steel, to keep myself alive? How low can I go still?

When I looked down at myself, it was the first time that I really saw how "terrific" my sight must have been for others. My shirt was ripped at the left shoulder and had several clawlike stripes everywhere. At least my skirt was just ripped at the hem a little bit and my shoes where completely unscathed. And then I stiffened when I saw the two flocks still tucked to my boots. They were clearly visible and people stared at me while I recognized my mistake. I should have thrown them away or hid them somewhere while it was still dark. Never ever before did that happen, I always had been careful to wear clothes that disguise.

Of course people would know what these stick were for, at least the ones who watched movies and TV, or at least they would be suspicious and maybe even afraid that I was some weird nutcase. So I made my way slowly and casual through the crowds, trying to find the quickest way out. Deliberately I went straight to the biggest crowd, where people squeezed each other from all sides. Usually I despised these big groups, I always hated the feel of warm breath on my neck from the person behind, or that they almost hugged me only not to stumble, or that they were so close, that I could feel certain bodyparts. But right now I couldn't think of a better way to blend in. There was no space to look down or around, so nobody would recognize me.

On the way through, I passed several booths with food and every time my stomach churned with hunger when the scent of fresh meet or baked bread found its way to my nose. Eventually I made up my mind and squeezed my way to the outside where I could still hide between bodies but reach out and might grab something.

The next person sold apples and bread. Luckily for me the woman was old enough to be my grandmother, which made me feel ashamed and guilty. These people live so far from the big city, they needed every single cent they could possibly make and if I would steel even just one apple, it would be less money for the poor old women and maybe it was exactly the cent she needed to survive for another week or maybe even just a day.

So I hesitated again, bit my lower lip with my inner turmoil. But when she turned her back to me, it was so inviting and it would be oh so easy. So I stretched my arm out and grabbed one apple and bread. My bloodpressure rose and my heart hammered, I was so nervous and afraid that somebody saw what I just did. I kept walking, hid the food under my shredded shirt and actually prayed for forgiveness and that nobody would catch me. _Fuck I can't belive it, now I can put thief to my list of criminal activities. What's next? Steeling cars? Breaking into houses?_

I shook my head in dismissal, I really didn't want to go there. It was already bad enough, that I stole food from that poor old woman. The way through the crowd felt like eternity, it just won't end. I grew tense with all those people around me. It was hot already, but with the bodies so close, it felt like a sauna and my skin reacted like one. I was sweaty from head to toe. Beats of perspiration dripped from my forehead and eyebrows. The smell of must, spices, meat and sweat of all those people, made me sick.

I could barely breathe let alone move other than step by step. By the time I finally reached the opening I felt itchy, drained and ready for another waterparty. Of course there was no well, why so? I would never get that lucky. But I had my food and walked away from the crowd and all the sounds until I landed somewhere close to desert. There was a road and a sign that said SR68. I had no idea where I would go, where I could go, or how long the road would be, but I kept walking and hoped for someone to drive by and take me to the closest city. _And then? What am I gonna do then? I still don't have __money. _

Sighing I strolled to the nearest tree and sank to the ground. The shade was a big relief, so was the light breeze. I pulled my stolen food out and bit like a starving animal in the bread. It was delicious, still warm with crunchy crust and soft within. When I was done I devoured the apple next and just as fast as I grabbed it.

My stomach was filled for the time being, but my thirst grew. And I wondered if vampires feel the same way. I frowned at myself, at the stupidity of that very thought. _I really am weird. Why should I ever think about how they feel? Oh yeah right...because one of them is my friend now and I care. _Sighing, I leaned my head against the trunk and closed my eyes.

It was too hot, my head pounded worse than before and my throat burned with the growing dryness. I felt drained and tired. I was helpless and had no clue what to do. I felt like crying again, but couldn't share anymore water in my system. I was scared to sleep and of the predicted nightmares that would definitely come.

So I did what I could do and pulled my legs up, just like the night before and watched my surroundings. I had to wait for sunset, before I could continue my little senseless journey. _It's like being trapped again, I can't go out in the sun, otherwise I would use too much water, I don't know where to go, I can't speak Italien. I am close to say that underground was much better, there at least I had water and fresh clothes. Why did I say I didn't want to go with Jason? Was my reason even justified? What was I thinking when I told them I have to find my own life? Stupid, stupid and stupid all over again. Gosh I want to go with them now.... ha well it's too late now. And would I really do that? No it's like crawling like a baby to mommy and ask for candy. I even dared to threatened Jason....No, I can't ever go to them and part of what I said is true after all. I want a live without the fairytail creatures. And it's not like I have a phone or a number. So the whole thought was waisted time._

It was so quiet, so peaceful even in the afternoon I wondered. Now and then a car would drive by, a rabbit scamper along and a bird would catch it's food from the ground before taking off into air and flying high again. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of nature. Even though I felt trapped, I felt free. I loved the sun, the warmth, the smell of it and then I remembered the ocean, the waves and dolphins playing in the water. Yes I decided, being part of all this was nice and something wonderful. And as I watched the sunset, my heart clenched at the beauty of it. The big yellow ball set slowly behind the mountains, it's last rays danced along the surfaces. Orange, red and purple appeared just above the last sunny stream and the plants shimmered in different colors, made the world look like a fantasy dream.

I watched until the sun was fully gone for another night, before she would delight the earth with her smile all over again. That was when I rose and made my way back to the road. Very few cars drove by, but non stopped. It was very miserable, but I understand, I never stopped either. You never knew what kind of people they are and the reason why they hitchhike. I actually laughed and shook my head. _Yeah Bella here you go again. Fighting fucking vampires, but afraid of hikers. That's so me._

When I saw another light coming from behind, I didn't even bother to stretch my hand out, just kept walking. But somehow the light came closer but never passed me. I felt uneasy, reached automatically down my boot and pulled one stick out. For me it was the best explanation, after all it was night, I was hunted and after all the cars that passed, suddenly there is one which would stop, without me making any announcements. Of couse I would be suspicious, who wouldn't in my case.

It was weird, the car kept on driving right next to me while I walked. I wasn't afraid or anything, if it was a vampire, well he wouldn't live very long. If it was a human, then I would tell some made up story why I have the sticks. The strange situation went on for I guessed another ten minutes, before the car stopped and then so did I.

Ready to strike and fight, fully alerted and somehow excited I waited for the person or monster to come out. The car door opened with a sqeak, the headlights were still on and I stood right in front, so I couldn't see who or what it was while I was dazzled with light. I heard footsteps or No, it sounded more like footdraggings as if something heavy made it's way in my direction. I held the flock in front of me, pointed at chestheight, to strike fast.

As the driver finally stood in the lights, I was shocked to see the old women I stole the food from earlier. Instantly I felt guilty and ashamed and put the stick as quickly as possible back in my boot. And then she surprised me even more with what she said. Her voice that of an old woman, but friendly, very warming. "You don't have to put that stick away hunter, I know about you and what you do. Please come with me."

My chin reached the floor, or at least that wass how it felt that moment. First I didn't know what to say, I was so perplexed, that I had to go over her words again and again. _She really said hunter. How? __Why? Should I trust her? Hell Bella this woman is what 65 years old. _

"I honestly don't know what to say right now. I never met another person who knew about hunters." I tried to be nice, but careful with my words.

"Oh dear, trust me, there are many people who know, I will tell you everything you want to know at my place, it is not safe at night outside here, please come with me." I arched an eyebrow at her and thought, maybe she is a nutcase and thinks she knows things. I hesitated for a moment, but then gathered myself and got into the car. _What could happen with an old lady? _

The women turned around and drove all the way back to Volterra, it honestly made me a little uneasy to be back there at night with the master coven who happened to know about me and who just lost their master of the masters. I was calm and all, it was just this little nagging sensation in my stomach.

We actually passed the clocktower, the entrance to hell, another reason for me to be more alert. I totally focused on the driver, I didn't miss a thing, every move, every glance, she tried to hide from me. "Dear I know you are not sure if you can trust me, but let me tell you at least that much. I thank you for doing the job you do, even though it didn't help my daughter and granddaughter. But you are like the human guardian angel."

Alright so now I felt embarrassed, it was so weird and odd to hear somebody say that about me. Somehow I trusted this women and wanted to hear more. Obviously she knew something after all. _She speaks english which is also actually perfect, why haven't I recognized that first? I should have, after all I am in Italy, but then I also didn't recognize that she doesn't even look Italien at all. _

"You are right about the trusting part. But we find out pretty soon I guess. Since you seem to know so much, then I guess you know about the clocktower as well?" I wanted to test her, just to see how much she really knows and she definitely won more of my trust, as she nodded.

The car came to a halt suddenly. We stopped at a nice cute little cottage, lights on in all the rooms I could see from where I stood. A black cat sat outside and meowed as its mistress stepped out of the car and picked it up, petting its fur. The women indicated for me to follow her as she went inside.

The house was very tidy and nicely decorated. Heavy curtains on all the windows, the furniture looked comfortable. The colors were warm, beige, browns and oranges. She led the way right into the kitchen. Sunflowers adorned some of the beige tiles. The cabinets were dark brown. In the center stood a round kitchen table with 6 chairs. Shades in the same color as the tiles hang on the windows. It was a very lovely place and I wondered if she kept all this clean by herself?

"Come, come sit down, I bring you some water, would you like to eat something?" That last part made me visibly wince. I was the person who stole from her and now I sat in her kitchen and she offered me food. I felt so bad.

"Mm, first I should tell you that I....that I, stole an apple and bread from you this afternoon and I am very sorry. I understand if you want me to leave, I would love to pay, but I don't have any money. This is so awkward for me. I am so very sorry." I expected her to scream or to be angry and throw me out of the house, but she did non of it. Instead she was kind.

"Oh dear, I know that already, do you think I didn't see that? I might be old but not blind or deaf. Don't worry about it. You had your reasons, I'm sure and I'm sure you won't do it again. So and now tell me what you like to eat? I make coffee, I hope you like some?"

I was close to tears, how can she be so kind and friendly after what I did? I bit my lower lip again, like I do when I'm nervous, though mostly I don't recognize, that I'm doing it at all. "Thank you so much, I don't want to bother you. So water is just fine, but yeah I like coffee."

The woman shook her head at me and I thought I did something wrong again, but then she just smiled. "Do you know what a sweet girl you are? I can't believe you hunt those monsters. How horrible. And you don't bother me at all, I have seldom company and I really enjoy being around people. Especially such a sweet and polite little one like you. But since you won't tell me what you want to eat, I just fix something. Oh by the way my name is Rachel and you are?" I sighed, couldn't believe my luck.

"My name is Bella, it's a pleasure to meet you. And thanks again. So you know about vampires?" I said hesitantly.

"My pleasure to finally meet you my dear." Valentina smiled and went to work. She made coffee and took something out of the refridgerator, then started cutting, cooking and baking. "Yes I know about vampires, I know about the masters and their whole coven right here in Volterra. The Volturi are nasty monsters. When I first learned about them I thought it was all a joke, but then they catched my daugther." She stopped cutting or whatever she was doing and wiped her eyes I thought. Gosh how horrible must that be to live in a town with them? Why did she never move I wondered.

"Alright so you know them, how long have you known? What happened to you daughter? Why did you never move after you knew about the Volturi?"

She sighed. "Well, where do I start? Let see? Alright, so my unfortunately now deceased husband and I moved nine years ago to Volterra, because he got transfered, he was original from Italy and I was born in Chicago. We've met in College, we wanted to be lawyers, it was love at first sight and were together ever since, completely inseperable. We graduated, found successful companies to work for and had a relatively good life. It got even better when our daugther was born, Phoebe was an incredible little girl, she was the most important part for both of us. We were a happy family.

She followed our footsteps and went to Harvard, she was the smartest, the fastest and the best of her class throughout college. She had always been good in science, technic and phychology. She graduated after three years already when she had been twenty-one years old. Her brain and effort brought her to Washington D.C. to the CIA. She was the youngest agent in history. She worked with the biggest and most dangerous criminals and solved cases, others never could.

When she was 23, she met her future husband during another secret mission, where she was badly injured for the first time in years while she worked for the CIA. I was heartbroken when I got a call from the hospital, that my daugther was shot and fights for her life. She kept everything always so professional, never said something concret about her cases, so I never knew what or where she was at the time of another mission. But I guess, it was good she never did, of course I was more than just proud of her, but a mother always worries about her children, right?"

I heard Rachel sobbing now, but she prepared the food and didn't turn around. And I had a sudden strange feeling about her daughter. Even though I didn't know why she told me all about it, I guessed she hadn't talked in a long time and just needed somebody who would listen. And she sounded so proud and sorrowful. But somehow I didn't like her story, I felt as if I already knew the end. The thing with the CIA sounded so familiar.

Just as I wanted to ask her a question she continued and I didn't want to interrupt. "Fortunately she made it through surgery and recovered quickly. After six months, she was back in the field. We saw her maybe twice a year for a couple days, her job inquired most of her time. Then two years later she got married and gave birth to my granddaughter Hope. My husband and I were so happy, even though we didn't see them often.

However, seven years ago, when Phoebe was 28, she and her husband had a long vacation and came to Italy for two weeks. They were adamant to stay at a rented cottage during that time, because they didn't want to bother us. I tried everything to convince them to stay with us, you see this place here is more than big enough for three people more, but they wouldn't gave in. I still ask myself what would have happened if they hadn't been so determined. Unfortunately the ifs and whens won't help, right?"

She shook her head in denial and came over to me with a big mug of coffee and a plate with sausage, vegetable and rice. It smelled so good, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the scent of it for a moment and to hide my tears. I was tense, because I defintely knew the end. It was too close to home. I couldn't believe that I from the billion people in the world, met the mother of Jason's wife. I was pretty sure of it, otherwise it would be to much of a coincidence.

_Should I say something? Maybe not, why didn't Jason tell me about his mother in law? Does she even know about Jason, that he is alive? More than even that, he is a vampire now himself. Oh god how horrible, I can't tell her, never ever._

So I just sat ther and waited for her to continue while I ate. My stomach grumbled, as if in protest with the sudden food. After all I didn't get much to eat these last days.

"On June 16th 2000, I couldn't sleep at all, I was tense all day and moody as if my body sensed something was terrible wrong. And it was, I got the call from the morgue that afternoon. I was told my daughter and granddaugther were found dead at their house and they needed me or my husband to stop by for identification.

Of course we went together, it was the most horrible day in my whole life, I was adament to see her face to face, because they wanted us to watch her through some window. Can you belief that? Through a glass window? But I couldn't do that, I wanted to see and touch her. Thanks to my husband and his friends in the law-firm, we were granted ten minutes.

When I was alone with my daughter and her little girl, I pulled the linen back and stared in disbelief. She had two wounds at her throat, they looked like little holes, almost two inches apart. Today I know they were bitmarks of a vampire, but then, I just frowned at the anomaly. And it got even weirder when the medical examiner told me her blood was completely gone, there was no sign of struggle, no defensive wounds or any other indications that led to the tragical death. And the worst part was, that she had also been raped, but they couldn't find any sperms. I asked if she was drugged, but he negated.

Later that day after hours of crying and self-doubts, I thought about Jason, her husband. Nobody could tell me anything about him. The police said, he was dead and that the investigation is still ongoing. Of course my husband and I weren't satisfied, the odds where to big. Our daugther was a great agent, who lived and loved her job. We couldn't understand how it was possible that there weren't any defensive wounds or indications of a fight whatsoever. Phoebe fought so many criminals, the worst of them actually, that it was more than irritating that non of it came up during the investigation. My husband and I were sure the killer had to be a professional, otherwise it could never have happened.

So we played with our connections within the higher ranks of the bureau and found out, that the Volterra Police actually did find Jason together with my daughter and their only child. He just wasn't dead, though badly injured and was flown to the nearest hospital. When they figured, he was CIA, they informed his superiors in D.C. and they took over from there immediately. A privat shuttle with all the necessary health care, brought Jason back to Washington within two hours after he arrived at the hospital. I've learned he was in one of the CIA safehouses, because they haven't ruled out possible conspiracy with the attempt of deliberately killing an agent, who solved many difficult cases and therefore had his fare share of mortal enemies.

Jason was in a coma for three weeks, they thought he would be paraplegic, but he had been lucky and started his therapy right after. The doctors named him "the invincible" after four months, as he could walk, move, talk and everything else again.

We never saw or heard from him, just that he quit his job and disappeared. Our family was completely destroyed, we were miserable and I couldn't live with the fact we didn't know anyhting about the murder. So I started digging myself, read books about cases like this one, about possible causes and reasons.

I was surprised how many there were, especially in Rome and here, which was quite strange, considering the population of both cities. For they had so many cases, mostly women, they never really found the reason for the anomaly. They considered either, animals or some sick maniacs who liked to play wannabe vampires, which they unfortunately never found.

I became desperate, determined, I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat or think about anything else than my daughter. After so many cases, I started to consider, that maybe, there aren't maniacs, but the real thing, I mean real vampires.

My husband thought me mentally ill after I told him about it. Even I thought I was ill and obsessed, but I didn't let go, it was the only thing that kept me occupied and maybe even sane. At night I went out, wandering through the streets, looking for something. Months passed and I was ready to give up. But then one night, close to the clocktower, there were some teenagers, drinking and talking. I was hidden in the dark and watched silently, I remember the night as if it happened just yesterday. It was fullmoon and the group stood in the moonshine, it was easy to make out who it was.

Then suddenly, somebody came out of the tower, everybody knows it has been abandoned since years, it was a storeroom some decades ago and nobody would live there. So I was very surprised to see the shadow, that's what I thought about the figure, coming out of there.

It went straight to the teenagers, first I thought it might be a friend of them and they were just playing, but I shrugged it off quickly after I saw them standing, as if in trance by this figure. And then the impossible happened, the creature lowered it's head to the throats and seemed to be drinking. I watched shocked and wide-eyed as one by one of the teenagers dropped like rag-dolls onto the ground. And as the vampire had it's last victim, it looked up and right at me, flashed a nasty smile and showed his.... fangs.

My heart stopped at that moment, I was scared and thought me dead already, but the vampire just left. I ran home, called the police and told my husband what I had just witnessed. He shook his head and sighed, gave me a hug like you do a little child and stroked over my hair. Then he said, I needed help and it would be best if I would consult one of the psychologist.

I was disappointed and devastated and saved myself whith pretending that I made it all up, because I was so miserable about the murder. My husband believed me and let it go, we never talked about it ever again, but of course I kept looking for other evidence."

She frowned and left the room. I sat paralyzed on the chair, shocked and sad. _Why did Jason never tell me about it? Why did he abandoned his only mother in law?...Well I guess out of the same reasons I did my father. Should I tell her about him after all? Maybe I can at least ask her if she ever found something else about Jason. _

Suddenly Rachel came back with a paper in her hands and held it out to me. I took it and looked at her questioning. "One day, I think four years back, I found this letter in the mail." She nodded at the paper in my hands, so I read it.

**Dear Rachel De Luca,**

**We the Vulturi of Volterra know that you know. **

**At this moment you don't have to fear. **

**No decision has been made yet. **

**But if we ever feel threatened, you will be certainly taken care of. **

**The masters**

"It was a warning I would never forget. My husband died of a heartattack that night and I am sure they had something to do with it. I kept a low profile ever since, but of course there were other people who lost their beloved ones because of those bloodsuckers. Many citizens kind of know about vampires, but they don't talk about it, which is probably best. Some even left town and the rest, like me, try to keep their lives as normal as possible. Over the last years more bodies were found, more families destroyed and more people started to be suspicious. It is a never ending circle."

Rachel sat across from me, tears ran over her cheeks. My hands were tucked between hers. I had a monster lump in my throat and felt bad, really devastating bad. I couldn't even start to comprehend how miserable it must have been for everybody in this town to know exactly what happened and be totally helpless. If I could I would have loved to kill Aro all over again. They brought so much pain to the world and have no remorse about it, instead, they celebrate and amuse themselves with torturing others. I sighed and lowerd my head. Life really sucked sometimes I decided, though it wasn't the first time I actually did. _Should I ask? Would it be alright? Damn, but I am curious to know how she knew about me?_

"I am deeply sorry for you losses. I have never known that people actually know about vampires, at least not so many, but I guess it was foolish of me to think like this. After all the master coven lives right under this town.

May I ask a question? How did you know about me?"

I played with my lower lip as Rachel didn't respond, I thought already she never would and I offended her somehow, but then she looked up and actually smiled at me.

"Well, the rumors about a hunter started around three years ago in Rome. People who knew, talked about shadows in the alleys. Many different stories were told. Women were raped and needed transfusion, which is nothing unusual today, but that most of them couldn't recall what happened is and that in each case and there wasn't any semen to be found. Their stories were so alike. Some claimed they saw some black figures fighting in the dark, one with wooden-sticks and sword the other with supernatural speed and sharp teeth. Others were convinced, they saw men turning to dust, while someone stabbed him from behind.

The rumors raised quite some riots. People heard people talking as it always was and will be. Some of the rape victims recalled they saw an unhumanly beautiful men, remembered to walk out of the clubs with them and then suddenly everything became blank. But few of the girls swore they have seen a men, who stabbed their rapists in the chest.

These tails went on and on for years. I knew some of it had to be true, I read the reports, did research on the girls cases and studied the myths of vampires. After months passed, the murders became less, here and in Rome, I don't know about other cities though. But I knew for certain there must be a person who kills the vampires, a slayer, a hunter our guardian, I just didn't know he or she was so jung."

Rachel smiled at me, looked at me with total admiration and compassion while she fondled my hands. The act so small, but lovingly sweet.

"I understand how you came to the conclusion. I never thought about the news or any reports, or that the women and girls even remembered some of it. The only important thing for me and....well...I just cared about the vampires and their still living victims were safe. But how did you know me, I mean how did you find me tonight and knew what I was?"

"Em, I actually didn't know that you were the hunter, I just guessed. You see Volterra is more town than city and since I work everyday at the market I know most faces. When I set up my booth this morning, I saw you sitting and sleeping in the sun and thought, poor little girl. I wanted to wake you up, so that you won't get grilled in the sun and when I came closer I saw your ripped clothes and the sticks in your boots. First I didn't think of it at all, I just thought you might have ran away from home.

But then I heard you squirm and cry while you slept. It was muffled, but I definitely heard you saying "No more vampires, no more life", that got my attention and I considered if it could be possible that you could have been the hunter. I saw the sticks and your clothes and even thought they had some blood on them. I was undecisive, didn't know what to do. You looked so fragile and forlorn. So I just went back to my booth to get you a blanket. And when I returned, you were already gone.

But then I saw you in the crowd, you are taller than most Italien. I felt sorry for you, you seemed so tired, exhausted, sad and even nervous. I saw you felt uncomfortable and thought again about the story that you might just have ran away.

And as I served the costumer, I saw how you grabbed the food out of the corner of my eyes. I didn't say anything because I couldn't stop thinking how desperate you must have been to steel. In the afternoon, I decided to look for you.

When I found you walking on the roadside, I drove slowly behind you, tried to figure out how not to scare you and what to say to you. But then you took the sticks out and that was what had me convinced you were the hunter."

I arched my eyebrows. For an old women she was very observant. _Should I tell her about Jason? I don't know. What will she think of me and especially him? Jason, I wished you were here, I would love to see you two together. Your mother in law suffered so much._

I sighed and took a sip of my coffee. Rachel frowned, seemed to be absent-minded for a moment. "Bella, you are what? 16 maybe 17 years old?" I just nodded. "Well that would make you 13, 14 years when it all started with the rumors I mean. So I can't imagine how did you live? Where were your parents? How did you start?"

_Phew so that doesn't make it any easier now. What should I do? Tell her? _"Well...it is a long story. One you won't like trust me."

She looked puzzled. "Bella dear, of course I won't like it. Everything about vampires I don't like. But I know they are real and I know you are the one who kills those monsters. There isn't anything that could shock me anymore. I'd really like to hear your side of the whole story."

_You say that now and when I tell you about the part with Jason? Damnit, why me? _

"Since you started from the beginning, I guess I should too." I told her everything. From the day I came home on Halloween back in Arizona to how I ended up here in Volterra. I told her about Jason, what he did for me, that we hunted together, that he was my best friend, my partner, my father substitute. I told her all of it, except that Jason was converted. Instead I just told Rachel that he died of the vampires torture.

She burst into tears as I mentioned him, she looked at me wide-eyed, shocked, couldn't believe it. As if I didn't know that would come. I asked myself if it was right to tell her, because all I saw was a poor woman wheeping and suffering, who lost her family already in the past and now I just threw another knife at her.

_How much more does this poor woman has to endure? I shouldn't have said anything about Jason. Great Bella, just peachy, you did an awesome job. _

"I am truly sorry. I shouldn't have said something." I sighed deeply with regret.

Rachel blow her nose and sniveled. "Oh please don't be sorry. I am glad that you told me. It was just a shock, that he did all this with you, for you, for his family. Both of your lives had been so dramatic, horrible, devastating, all the worst things that could ever happen to a person. It is so much information, I can't process all the things at once.

I knew how she felt, knew exactly how she felt. The lump in my throat strangled me as I relived all the things while I told her. Somehow it seemed I can't keep this part away from me, no matter how much I try. I shook my head and yawned suddenly. I haven't slept properly in days and it was wearing me down now. My eyes got heavy and I felt leaden.

Rachel rose and helped me up from the chair. "Oh for gods sake, I'm sorry. That was rather selfish of had such a hard time these last days, no, these last years. Come you can sleep here, I have enough space. Rest as much as you want, take a shower, I still have some of my daugthers clothes, they should fit you. And when you are ready, we talk again, but right now please be my guest and sleep. You look pretty exhausted my dear."

I smiled at her. "Thank you so much. I don't know where to start how to thank you."

Rachel led the way upstairs and opened one of the doors. The room was nice, a king size bed in the center, a closet and a desk. The walls were light blue, all the furniture white. The room had two windows with dark blue curtains. It was cozy and the bed really called to me.

I was so touched of all this that I couldn't do other than hug Rachel. Tears ran over my cheeks and down onto her shoulder, but obviously she didn't mind as she hold me tighter. When I got myself back under control I let go of her and looked down at her, she was so much smaller, but had a heart like a giant. She really saved me tonight and I didn't know where to start to figure out why I deserved so much luck.

Rachel winked at me and nodded once. "Sleep tight my dear and have nice dreams. Tomorrow come downstairs whenever you want, you are more than welcome here." She wished me goodnight and closed the door.

For minutes I stood still and stared at the door before I finally went to the bathroom, that joined my room. The colors were all the same as the guestroom, the furniture seemed antique, typical Italien I thought. I opened the drawers and cabinets. Rachel kept everything clean and tidy organized. There was everything a woman or men would need and I wondered why she kept all this stuff in here when she doesn't have visiters often. But I shrugged and picked some Aloe Vera shampoo, bath soap and filled the bathtub, then I went over to the window and opened it wide. The air smelled like summer, ocean, flowers, warm, it was perfect.

Once I was naked I climbed into the hot water, leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I loved the sound of the street, the cars, the blowing wind, people talking and walking. I felt almost normal again. I massaged the shampoo slowly into my hair, enjoying the sensation of the bubbles and creamy substance it felt like heaven and I moaned with joy.

As I lay there in the hot and steamy water, I traced my cuts. They were almost gone, no dents or any red lines. I guessed the vampire blood healed also that part, but not thoroughly. I remembered the feel of cutting, how the blood seeps out of the skin, the throbbing. How it made me feel better and let me forget. I wanted it back, I needed it, just one more time I told myself.

I leaned over the tub to reached the drawer were I saw the razors earlier. Then I started to press the sharp edges into my skin, felt the stinging pain and sliced, cut, carved each wrist five times. Blood seeped and made it's way slowly and welcoming down my arms. I followed each crimson line until it merged with water. The throbbing started and my thumps traced over the already building dents.

I felt invincible, like nothing could get to me at that moment, I survived it all, the pain was gone, the trauma was gone, the everlasting misery was gone for the moment when the razor pierced my skin and the blood runs freely. I felt freedom, felt how the horror story of my life was locked up far away somewhere in my mind, where it couldn't catch me for the time being.

I leaned back again and enjoyed my time, my very own heaven and escape from reality.

Eventually when the water became cold I decided to get out. I put a towel around me and looked for the first time in days in the mirror. I was shocked over the face that looked right back at me. My eyes were glazed and red rimmed, dark blue shadows under them. My skin looked chalk white, my cheeks sunken. All in all I really looked like a ghost, it was scary. I have never seen myself looking that bad.

Sighing I grabbed the hairbrush and combed my hair, then brushed my teeth and walked back to the bedroom where I found underwear and pajamas.

Totally exhausted and limb I climbed in bed, closed my eyes and was gone within seconds.

**Reviews, Reviews, Reviews PLEASE :-)**


	19. Chapter 19: Final Decision

**Wow it took me just four days to update, that's my own record *lol*... even though I've kept reading other fanfictions and books. I saw that many fanfiction writers mention songs they listen to while they write and I thought why shouldn't I share some of the music I like just as well. So when I wrote this chapter, I mostly listened to Theory of a Deadman - Not meant to be, or Linkin Park - New devide, or 3 Doors Down etc. ...Though I know some writers use the music as kind of inspiration which I don't. I just like to have some background sounds :-)**

**I hope you like this chapter and that some of my fans would take the time to review. Like I said so many times before, it just takes one minute to do so. I don't think it's important to mention it again, but REVIEWS make the writer very happy and keeps him or in my case ME going so that YOU guys have the joy of yet another chapter.**

**So Please review, tell me what you think, bad or good, I take it all.**

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Bella's PoV

The delicious smell of pancakes, coffee, eggs and bacon found its way to my room. I inhaled deeply and smiled before I slowly opened my eyes and stirred in my soft and fluffy bed. Rays of sunshine burst through the window, tickled my nose and made me wrinkle.

I lay still for a moment and enjoyed the feeling of the warmth of the sun and stared outside, watching the birds, listening to the sound of normality. It felt good, very good indeed. _Thank you my guardian angles out there. What would I do without you? You help me in the most miserable situations. _

Then I stretched myself, hearing how my muscles clenched and tensed. I felt somewhat rested and I was grateful for my quiet, soothing and deep sleep without nightmares. But still, I didn't feel as good as I thought I would. My chest seemed so heavy and I felt kind of edgy. I sighed and sat up, running my fingers through my tousled hair.

Frowning I eventually got up and went to the bathroom, took a shower, brushed my teeth, braided my hair and tried to find something to wear. Once I was dressed in jeans, which were to short and a black tank top, I went downstairs and was lovely greeted by Rachel with a big smile. "Good morning dear, you look refreshed, come sit down I made you breakfast."

Even though she was really sweet and friendly I felt awkward and wasn't certain whether to hug her or to just sit down. I decided quickly and went over to the woman who saved my life and embraced her. "Thank you so much for everything Rachel. I don't know what to say other than that you saved my life last night. How can I ever pay you back for what you did? I feel so ashamed of myself that I stole from you and instead of throwing me out which would have been totally understandable...but no....instead you were so compassionate and gave me shelter."

I let her go and saw tears shimmering in her eyes. "You don't have to do anything for me, anything at all. Do you know what you did for me last night?" I frowned and shook my head, slightly afraid what she would say. "In seven years, it was the first night where I got some peace of mind and closure to what had happened and just because of you."

"I don't understand? What did I..." She interrupted me.

"Bella, in all these years I never really figured out what really happened other than an apparent vampire killed my family. It still sounds totally surreal to me after all these years. I never knew what happened to Jason, where he were, why he quit, why he never called or visited. Even though I somehow always knew it couldn't have been him... but do you know how many times I thought that maybe Jason had something to do with my daugthers death after all? There were so many days where I thought I imagened things, that vampires aren't real, that I had made all this up, just to find a plausible reason for the strange death.

I thought myself mentally ill more times than I thought myself sane. Even when I got the letter I sometimes thought that maybe somebody wrote it deliberately to drive me crazy, to make me anxcious. I had been always on the edge. On some days I was certain that I truly knew what took place and then there were other days where I sat for hour on one place and thought myself insane. And the fact that my husband never believed me and I hid all my secretive research didn't make it any easier.

But now all the missing puzzle pieces were finally put back toghether ...I know I have never been a nutcase, that everything was true, that Jason didn't do anything but tried to help and got even murdered by those monsters. For the first time in years I feel rested and relieved and all that just because of you. If I wouldn't have met you, I would still try to reason with the things I actually already knew. So the person in this room who needs to thank somebody that would be only me...I thank you so much for what you did and do."

Now I felt the tears burning in my eyes but blinked them away. _Oh my god, how horrible. I can't even imagine what it must have been for her? I at least knew right from the beginning what I was dealing with._

"Um...I don't know what to say. Your welcome feels totally wrong, so I won't say it, because it just doesn't seem right. But I see what you mean and understand. I can't even start to think about how it must have been for you all these years. For me, vampires where fact and real a damn pain in the ass right from the first day on, I never had to fight with the knowledge. So I rather feel I should say sorry for all the things you have been through."

Rachel laughed at the last part. "Bella you really are the sweetest person. It wasn't your fault, any of it, so don't be sorry. And now I want you to eat before it gets completely cold."

I smiled and nodded, then sat down and literally devoured all the good things Rachel made for me. Though my stomach grumbled, but I thought it was in appreciation. She watched me eat and grinned all the time. But I didn't care how I must have looked, I was glad to have a decent meal and felt human at the moment. Suddenly she frowned, looked somehow absent-minded. I stopped chewing instantly, thought myself a pig for such table manners.

"Can I ask you a question?" Rachel asked kind of insecure.

I put my fork down and nodded at her. "Shoot."

"Well, I wondered...um... about your father. You just told me what happened to your mother, so I wondered about your father? I'm sorry I don't want to offend you...I just, thought about it. I know your life is complicated." For a moment my heart stopped, not because I was angry or something or insulted. I was shocked at my nonattention about my own father. I haven't spared even one thought on him for a long time and it made me qualmish and ashamed. _How could I forget my own father? God I'm such a bad person. I remember now how I cried while I was prisoner underground and how I would have loved to see him. But since all these things happened I haven't thought about him, not even once. Oh God I'm so sorry dad, Oh god and Michael. I haven't called him in weeks, he must be so worried._

"Bella are you alright? I apologize if I made you uncomfortable." I frowned at Rachel, first I didn't really understand what she meant.

"Oh No, you didn't offend me at all. Actually you made me aware of my "left behind" family. I feel terrible, because I haven't thought about my dad in days or weeks, I can't even remember. It never occurd to me that he is still there for me if at all. You know I kind of, still can't believe that I made it out of the coven alive. Actually it wasn't suppose to happen. Eventually I came to terms with my life or death, I never thought I would make it, so it never crossed my mind, not even once. I'm so horrible. How could I forget my own family?

Alright I mean it's not like that I really cared about them the last two years, I mean I did, but I guess they think I just left them, well I actually did. Oh God, what have I done? Back in Arizona my mom had a best friend, Michael, I called him once a month to keep him updated, but I never talked to my dad during the time. I just couldn't cope to hear his voice, because I was always afraid that as soon as I would talk to him, I would leave Italy and go back. And now I don't even know what's going on, I haven't called Michael in months and so my dad won't know anything as well."

I hated and despised myself so much at that moment that I couldn't even look up at Rachel. I didn't want to know what she would think of me now after the revelation nor did I want to see her face and the accusation I would certainly find there.

"Bella would you please look up at me?" Her voice was so compassionate that I dared to sneak a peak. Oddly enough her expression didn't hold condemption, but sympathy and empathy which I couldn't conceive at all.

"Do you know how special you are?" Now I frowned in total puzzlement, couldn't understand the world or Rachel for that matter. _What did she say? Why would she say that? Is she insane?_

"Bella, don't look at me like I am crazy. I mean what I said. You are the most wonderful person I've ever met. It's unbelievable that you are so selfless after all you have been through. Look at you. You condemn yourself in the worst possible way where you are actually the one person where everybody would most definitely understand you to be selfish even rude which you are not, not in the slightest.

You went through hell, you left your family to protect them, you fought vampires, you were tortured and made it merely out of there alive and still you think about yourself as the worst person, just because you didn't...no, couldn't call your friend or your dad?

Bella you of all people could be a true angel, with a huge halo. You saved so many people without them knowing, without getting anything in return, not even a "thank you", you dedicated your life to fight these monsters who shouldn't even exist. You have definitely nothing to be sorry for dear. Many people would have died if it wasn't for you. You fought and kept going where most would have given up."

Now I cried again, it seemed to become a bad and rather annyoing habit lately. With the back of my hand I wiped them away.

"What am I suppose to do now? I wanted to be a big girl and find my own way, but you see how far I've come with it." Rachel gave me a tissue so that I could blow my nose.

"You are so strong and you don't even know it. Everything will be fine I'm sure. You have your dad and this Michael, they are family which means there are no conditions or demands to how much love they have to share, it just exists automatically. Why don't you just call them?"

I considered her answer for a second. _What shall I say? I lied throughout these past years, what am I suppose to say? _

"I wouldn't know what to say to Michael, nor do I have an idea what to tell my dad, I haven't talked to him for so long I don't even know if he would speak to me at all. I mean I lied the whole time, neither of them knows any of the things I really did. So I can't call them, ever."

Rachel sighed. "I totally understand your situation. It brakes my heart so see you so broken. You deserve so much better. But let me tell you what I think. If I would be either one of them, I would crave to hear from you, I would love to know how you are doing. I would care about everything that has to do with you.

I think it is important and necessary for you that you get some decent life back. You need your family and your family needs you. I know you won't ever have an ordinary life, but you can try and do your best. You did so much for others already, now it is time that you think about yourself and only about you."

I stared at her, didn't know what to say. My life was such a mess. I didn't really know what to do at all. For the first time in my life I had no clue and it made me anxcious even terrified. All I had was hunting right now. It consumed my whole life, it had been my daily routine for so long I didn't know any other lifestyle anymore.

It was rather pathetic and lame that all I could do was to be a killer, a murderer, a criminal. _Who would want me? I would become a burden, would I not?_

I bit my lower lip, totally confused and indecisive what to do, but I wanted, no, needed to call Michael and my dad. I needed to know if they are alright and I needed them to know that I was ok. I sighed, took a sip of my coffee. Rachel came back with a phone, I haven't even realized that she left. She smiled at me, patted my shoulder and told me to take all the time I would need and that she would go for a walk, then she strolled out of the kitchen to give me some privacy.

I watched her until she disappeared outside. I stared at the phone like it was something I haven't seen before, like something alien. I felt a big lump in my throat, my stomach hurt. I couldn't find the courage it would take to call, too afraid what would happen, too afraid of the things Michael would say to me. _Would he abandon me just like I did him? Would he even hate me? _I tried to breathe but it sounded more like a gasp. My bloodpressure was high, I was totally nervous.

_Damnit, it would be easier to fight a freaking vampire than to call my own family. Isn't that rather sad? _I let my breath out slowly, I didn't even know that I was holding it. I squeezed the phone, like it would tell me what to do and then dragged myself upstairs. Once I closed my door, I sat cross-legged on the bed and stared some more.

Slowly I traced the new cuts with my thump on my wrist and it eased some of the tension. I really liked the feeling of the dents, of the scab that build itself after the bleeding stopped to heal the wounds. _You can do it Bella! Don't be such a chicken! You fought vampires that should tell you something, so stop being a coward and get it over with. It takes one phone call to know what will happen. Just one call to know where you stand. Afterwards you will know, it they despise you for good or if they still love you, but either way you will feel better....or worse, no matter what! _

Sighing I pressed the numbers I memorized years ago and would never forget. At the first ring my breath caught in my throat, my hands were wet and I slightly trembled. After the second I fought with myself not to press the end button and at the third ringtone somebody picked up. "This is Michael Stewart."

I swallowed hard, closed my eyes as the tears welled up all over again. His voice alone broke my heart, it felt so good to hear it though. "Hello, who is this?" He said, but I couldn't answer. I was so afraid and just tried to breathe as normal as I could even thought, that just his voice could be enough to keep me going and I not need to tell him anything. "Hello? Who is this, I don't have all the time in the world, so please say something or hang up!"

I didn't want him to hang up so soon, so I made a choice, either good or bad I didn't know...yet. My voice wasn't more than a whisper. "It...it's me, Bella." I heard his breath caught before he sighed. _Is __that good or bad? Oh god why did I call him again?_

"Bella, Oh my god, sweety, where have you been? I was worried sick about you. What happened? Why didn't you call anymore? I tried to trace your phone, but I lost it like two weeks ago completely, I thought you were...you were....dead. Oh God your dad, he is looking for you. He went to Italy last week to figure out what happened. I told him I didn't hear from you for so long and that I lost your signal. He was so miserable and in despair, that he took the first flight to look for you."

I squeezed my eyes shut, tried to breathe, but sobbed and gasped while I cried. "Michael, I am so very sorry for everything I put you and dad through. I can't ever make up for the things I did. My life has been such a mess since I left Arizona. I am sorry that I lied all the time, that I never told you what I really did. But I couldn't because...because...you would have locked me up if I had told you. Everything was a lie, the death of my friend Vanessa, of mom hell even the school I never went to. God I am so very sorry, but I can't talk to you anymore. I am not worth to talk to you, I hate myself for what I did, but I couldn't change it. I just wanted to let you know that I am ok." I cried so hard that I shivered.

"Sweety, I don't know what happened and I really don't care right now. All I want is you to come back to us to your dad. We figure everything out, don't be afraid. I am just so happy that you are alive, that I hear your voice. Wherever you are, it doesn't matter, you just have to come back, I will sent your flight tickets if needed, money, everything you need. But please, come back.

I will call your dad and tell him that you called, I will tell him to come to Arizona and that you will come back...please Bella. I want to see you again, I need to see you again. I need to see that you really are alright and not just some person who sounds like my little girl. Please. Where are you, I sent you everything you need as soon as possible." Michael's voice was husky, he restraind himself not to cry, or so I thought he sounded.

I was so relieved, to hear the things he said. It took a huge load off my mind. "I am in Volterra, Italy, I...I want to come back."

"Alright I will book you the first flight I can get and pick you up from the airport when you arrive. Actually I am already at my laptop....just a second....I found a flight at 7pm your time from the Galileo Galilei Airport, it is 40 miles from Volterra. I will sent you a shuttle to pick you up and then you will be here the day after tomorrow. God Bella, I can't believe it, I am so happy, so really happy and relieved. I had so many sleepless nights lately. Everytime my phone rang I hesitated before I picked up just because I was too afraid to get the final news of your death."

"Thank you so much, I...I...don't know what to say other than I am so very sorry for everything. I never wanted you to worry so much or dad of course. I honestly never thought about what me leaving really did to you, it was selfish in every possible way."

"Honey, just get that flight and come back as fast as you can. I can't wait to see you. I am deeply grateful that you are save, or at least I hope you are save." he sounded concerned.

"Yeah I am save... now, thanks to you and to my guardian angels." I cried.

"I don't know what you mean with your guardian angels, but I hope to find you in one piece when you come back, are you?"

"Yes you will." I couldn't say more. I felt like I was strangled, just before suffocating.

"Alright I love you Bella, please take good care of you until you are back. Try not to get yourself killed or something horrible before you arrive, alright? I will see you soon. I love you."

"Thanks, I love you too." With that I hang up and fell backwards, the pillow pressed over my head and let the tears float. I cried until I had no tears to share left, until I was completely dried out.

I felt drained and exhausted when I made it downstairs again. The livingroom clock read two o'clock, which meant I had maybe one and a half hours left before the shuttlebus would be here.

But suddenly I stopped dead. _Fuck, fuck, fuck! I can't fly. _I glanced at the phone in my hand and redialed, Michael picked up after the second ring. "Bella is that you?" His sounded so serene, it made me smile.

"Yeah it's me again. Um...I have a problem."

"What? What is it, are you alright? Can I help you somehow?" Now he seemed anxcious and I gnawed on my lower lip again.

"Um...I am alright, really, but...I can't fly, I don't have a passport anymore, or any other documents whatsoever." Michael was quiet on the other end and I thought now he is mad at me or something, but then he said.

"Bella, what happened? You sound tired, husky, even afraid I would say. God what is it?" _Well where to start, I was prisoner underground with the mastercoven of the vampires. My best friend had been converted into one of them and almost got me killed. Then he gave me his blood so I could survive and then I killed the masters most precious weapon and made it out of there with six vampires who live like humans. Yeah that's about it._

I groaned. "I'm sorry I can't talk about it....at least not yet on the phone."

Now Michael sighed. "Alright, we have time to talk when you are here. I try to deal with the paper problem from here. Do you have a fax?" I frowned and walked into the kitchen where Rachel started baking or something.

"Excuse me, um...do you have a fax?" She turned around and nodded at me, then opened one of the drawers and got a paper and a pencil. Rachel wrote something and handed it to me. I read the faxnumber to Michael and ask him how he could possibly get me through security without a passport.

"Don't worry about it, I have my connection. Remember I am captain after all, so that should mean something, even to Italiens." I grinned, he has always been so proud of his badge but with reason. He was a good cop, that's what everybody said and he was totally devoted to his job.

"Alright, I don't worry anymore. I guess I have to thank you again....so thank you! I hope it won't become a habit now." I tried to sound funny, but it was more desperate than I wanted him to know. And since he was good at his job, he could tell even through the phone that I wasn't ok at all.

"Bella, whatever it is, we figure it out...I miss you and am happy to finally see you again." he sounded so concerned it gave me a headache. _How can he be so nice to me after all I did?_

"I am so grateful for what you did. You can't even imagine how much it means to me that you don't sound mad right now even though you might be."

"I don't know why you would think that I am mad, but let me assure that I am totally not. More the opposite I am concerned and worried. Though you say you are alright but I hear that isn't true. I am curious and anxcious to see you, to finally know what actually really took place in the past. But anyway...when I spoke with your dad he almost seemed to cry while I talked to him. So get you stuff and go to the airport, alright. I love you Bella and can't wait to put my arms around you."

I squeezed my eyes shut, inhaled deeply, but out came just a whisper as I spoke again. "Alright will do, thanks again." I pressed the end button quickly before I would brake down. _Remember to breathe, in and out, in and out._

After minutes passed, I got myself under control again and finally dared to open my eyes. Rachel stood right in front of me and smiled. "So I guess everything went well?"

I nodded like one of these figures who keep waggling once you put them in motion while I stared at nothing in particular, still trying to process everything Michael just told me. It was unbelievable that he helped me....again.

"Yes it is all good. I have a flight booked from Galileo airport at seven pm tonight and the shuttle will be here soon to pick me up."

Rachel looked sad suddenly. "I guess that means goodbye already. It's so soon, I would have loved to have you longer. But I am glad and happy for you of course. I hope you can have an somewhat normal life finally." She came over and embraced me. I put my arms around her just as well and then stood like this for minutes until a peep pronounced an upcoming fax. Rachel let go first and sighed. She went to the livingroom and came back with the papers.

I don't know how he managed it so fast and I still wasn't convinced that it would work, but nonetheless I held all the copies of my new passport and my e-ticket in my hands. Rachel arched an eyebrow but didn't say anything, she just grinned and shook her head while I shrugged in total innocence. Then she directed me back into the kitchen, filled a mug with coffee and gave me a plate with fresh made cake.

We sat in silence while we ate. And then Rachel stood up and told me she would be right back. I heard rummaging from upstairs, drawers opened and closed. Moments later she came with a black sweat-jacket, sneakers and a small jewelery box.

"Here that's for you...please open the present when you are in the airplane." I put the jacket and shoes on and tucked the little box in my pocket.

"Thank you Rachel. Thank you so very much." Then the doorbell rang, I went to open and saw that the shuttle driver stood at the back of his bus, probably waiting for luggage. I told him I don't have any and turned around to hug Rachel one more time.

"Bella, I wish you luck, please call sometimes and let me know how you are doing."

"I definitely will, please take care." Finally I let go and looked in her tearfilled eyes, though she tried to hide them. Before I could leave Rachel hugged me once again, kissed me on the cheeks and gave me my papers. I did the same and took a deep breath as I went into the bus.

As soon as the door was closed the driver took off and I watched Rachel waving goodbye until we were so far away that she was too small for me to see. Just then I turned around and leaned my head back, staring at the ceiling. _So you really are going back to the US. Back to where everything started. Should I laugh or scream about the irony... The beginning of the end... Yeah that decribes it pretty good actually. _

One and a half hours later the driver pulled in to the airport and stopped right in front of my Terminal. I went to the first available computer to print my flight tickets and walked straight to the security check. The officer arched his eyebrows at me as I showed him my passport copies. He definitely glanced at me as if I was joking and teasing him. Well I was not crazy, that's for sure. And I had no intention to play games at that moment whatsoever.

I looked at him in dead earnest and obviously that did the trick, or so I thought. Because he picked up his phone and called somebody. I couldn't understand a word as he spoke in Italien and even though I kept my expression totally serious and convinced that I was in the right, inwardly I was nervous like hell, my hands were wet, my throat dry.

The call took minutes and the officer looked constantly from me to the paper and back again, he even read my name out loud, probably to confirm the picture or something. Well as if people couldn't fake that too I thought, it was rediculous that I even dared to try this whole thing in the first place. They probably thought me some runaway, maybe even a thief or worse a killer, which wasn't so far from the truth.

When nothing happened, I started to step back very slowly, trying to get out of the airport as quick as possible. But to my surprise and it must have been the first time in history, he gave me my copies back and winked me through. I blinked several times at him in sheer surprise and astonishment, but caught me quickly, so that he wouldn't have a chance to change his mind eventually.

One hour later I sat in the first class, with a drink, newspaper, a blanket and a pillow. And short after I was in the air. By then I was an emotional wreck, playing with the cord of my Jacket. _Whew, so it's really happening now, there is no going back. How did Michael manage that anyway? Well I guess it doesn't matter anymore. God this is so weird. Jason now would be a good time to have you with me. At least I would have some anchor, somebody to lean on._

_I really miss you and it's been what? Two days. I am pathetic, really. So much to, trying to be an adult and independent. I hope you are alright? I hope that you put up with your new life wherever you are? I hope one day I will see you again and can apologize? _

I closed my eyes and thought a little while longer before I remembered Rachel's present. I reached into my pocket and pulled the cute box out. When I opened it my breath caught and tears were dangerously close. She gave me a silver necklace in form of an angel almost two inches long, its wings spread wide and its arms outstretched up high to the sky. The face held a warming smile and its eyes were sparkling diamonds. It was so beautiful, so pure, so innocent and harmless, everyting I wasn't. I picked it up and traced the lines of every single carving before I tied it around my neck.

Then I took the folded paper that was with in the jewelery box and read it.

**Dear Bella,**

******There are no real words to describe what a treasure you really are and many won't ever know you or the incredible things you've done already and probably will do again in the short time you've been living on this earth. But the very few who were as fortunate as I was, who were granted to meet you once in a lifetime, they all will never forget the glorious and brave guardian angel you definitely are.**

******They won't ever forget that you never hesitated to give your life to save others, no matter how hopeless the situation. They won't ever forget that you never gave up, that you stood up every single time your life had been in mortal danger. They will remember your compassion, your courage, your love, your faithfulness. **

******I hope that you will find the things you seek. You deserve to find endless love and happiness.**

******I can't thank you enough for everything you've done. You will always be in my heart until the day I die. You gave me back not only my life, but the peace and quiet I was seeking for so long. **

******I wish you well and may your dreams come true.**

******Love Rachel **

******PS: The angel is suppose to be you**

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I felt totally paralyzed, I even thought the blood in my veins stopped running as if frozen. The only thing in my body that still worked, were the tears which ran down my cheeks.

I don't know how many times I've read the letter and I would have read it again, if my vision wouldn't have started to get blurry. Eventually I closed my eyes, enveloped the trinket with my fingers and fell in a deep sleep.

The shadows and creatures from hell, my permanent and consistent accompanyist shared my dreams, my nightmares all over again. Faces I never ever wanted to see again, faces I craved to look at just for one more time, to say I am sorry crept through the dark, side by side, trying to scare me, trying to catch me, trying to torture me over and over again.

The only color possible for me to see, was crimson while I ran through the desert of hell where nothing living exists, where everything seemed to be made out of blood, where scrawny trees, monster like looking mountains with sharp teeth and accusing eyes led the way through condemnation. The stench of rotten flesh and blood lay thick in the air, it was almost suffocating. Voices and laughter everywhere making my head hurt, making me run faster, making me scream.

Like always my cries for help weren't answered, instead the laughing became louder, creepier and worst thing...they came closer. I hated the world of red, of darkness, of dust and horror where even dead itself wouldn't go if he could prevent it. This was my world, made for me and my sins. How could anybody say nice and lovely things about me when almost everytime I try to sleep, everything around me turns out to be dead and rotten?

I walked through the marshy landscape, my feet seeped deep in the stinking, slushy and muddy ground. Hands were grabbing and clawing at my ankles, trying to get a hold of me. The weird thing was, everyime sombody or something touched me, horrifying screams of tortured innocent beings drummed in my ears and the hand pulled away as if I was the evil and they were scared of me.

I didn't dare to look down, I didn't want to see what was underneath the surface. Suddenly people I've never seen in my life appeared a few feet in front of me, but they weren't real, they were translucent, like ghosts. Their faces, that of humans, of woman and girls, of victims staring accusingly right at me. "Why Bella, why didn't you help us when you were so close. Why did you walk away on us? Why did you never talked to us? Why didn't you come earlier before these monsters could drain us and rape our children? You knew what they were and you didn't do anything to prevent the worst, why?"

There were hundreds of people surrounding me, caging me, pointing their fingers at me. I cried. "I tried to help, I really did, I seeked the vampires for so long, I even killed them. I am so sorry, I didn't know what to do."

They started to speak all at once and all the same things, their voices harsh and angry. "You lie, your whole life is a lie, everyting is a lie. You never tried, you walked away, we are dead, you are alive, becaue you didn't do anything. The few you saved are broken too, their spirits gone from earth. You are selfish, ungrateful for what you still have and we don't. You belong here in this hell, not us, only you!"

Tears ran down me cheeks, my chest hurt, I couldn't breathe. "Please, no that's not true. I tried, Jason and I together. He saved so many. I saved as much as I could."

"All lies, lies, lies, lies, you have to die for your sins." I screamed No, but it was too late, they were on me in a blur, ripping, clawing, stabbing and killing me.

I woke with a start, panting, catching for breath. Beats of sweat dripped from my forehead. I looked around if anyone was maybe watching me, but luckily I stayed unnoticed. _Will it never stop? Will I ever go to bed like normal people do, without being afraid? Is it true what they said after all? Could I have done more? Was I careless? _

The questions gnawed at my mind, at my soul for several hours after I woke until finally, the announcement of our shortly landing in New York City came through the speakers. It was my only stop before I could continue to Phoenix, also first class. As soon as we touched the ground, people rose from their seats and grabbed their bags, waiting for the stewardess to open the door. Since I sat in the very front, I was the third person who left the plane, without the bothersome pushing and hurrying from the person behing.

After thirty minutes waiting at yet another gate, I boarded and went right to my new seat where the attendant already stood as if waiting just for me to finally ask if I'd like anything to drink. I rolled my eyes over this annoyance. As if people who could afford to fligh in a higher and better class where something special, though they are not, they just have more money than others and like to spoil themselves, because they have so much of it, they don't know what to elso to do.

I didn't choose to fligh with the high society, Michael bought the tickets and I was very determined to ask him why he would spent so much unneccesary money. Well I sorf of enjoyed it to be honest. Not the attention for my suppose to needs though, but I liked the silence and the space.

This time I even had a TV in the frontseat and made use of it. They had several new movies or so they told me, as if I cared or even knew what these films were. I haven't watched any TV or movies in months, so I wouldn't have known if it was a new or a five months old one.

I switched through the seemingly endless list of films and chose something random. First I watched a suppose to be horror/mystery/thriller named "Prom Night" which wasn't scary at all. Actually I thought it was rather boring but could somewhat relate to the sadistic killer, wasn't I at least a little bit like him? I wondered.

Afterwards I needed some action so I switched to "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull". Henry Jones always enlightened my mood when I watched him saving the world or his artefacts. The same with this one and I liked how Shia LaBeouf teared through a college campus with Harrison Ford along for the ride as a passenger. I liked the old Harley Davidson they featured.

I always thought the coolest vehicles where built in the 60's anyway, they were the REAL cars and motorcycles. The muscle cars with their original sound of the roaring engines who gave the solid feeling of driving, of being a part of the road and not our nowadays all electrical, silenced down to a meer humming playcars. That's what they are, made of computers, toys to indulge the rich and beautiful a tool to bring you from A to B nothing more. The fun is simply gone.

Though they come in every shape and priceclass and there are even some I like, but still they are nothing compared to the real thing, the old and ancient ones. But what the heck, that's what the twentyfirst century is all about.

I thought some more about the old times, I've never lived in and never would until the announcement of our landing came through yet again. After the tiresome, 17 hours flight and almost one and a half days later I eventually arrived on June 5th 2008 at 3:46 am in Arizona.

_Woa, so now I am really back. Back in the States, back in Arizona. It feels almost surreal as if in a dream, not real, not true, not anything. But here I am, walking along the gate to the exit. I can't believe it, but it must be. After all, the signs read "Welcome to Phoenix Arizona" and not just that, everything is in english, thank god._

When I took my final steps through the doors that led outside I looked up to the sky, to the stars and inhaled deeply. It was 80 degrees, warm, fresh, different but so enjoingly familiar. I took a moment to take it all in that I wasn't just imagine things, that I stood verily at the airport of my homecountry and then I started to look for Michael.

Even though it was four o'clock in the morning the airport was packed with people, who either arrived from their vacation, businesstrip or whatever they flew for, or waited for their departure out of the same reasons. I was glad that I didn't have any luggage, so I could avoid the whole trouble.

Somewhere between a mass of people, a huge group of Japanese or Chinese I was never able to tell the difference, I saw a blond head, who definitely stood out of the crowd with black hair.

**So that's it already, hope you liked it, Please review :-)**


	20. Chapter 20: Michael's Revelation

**Here is my new chapter. I hope you will like it. It has some hot scenes this time. I know I am rather on the dark side all the time, not so much happiness, but it's getting better and brighter... slowly. I just like the drama and all the pain :-) Though it is not so in my real life. I just use writing to give the sadistic part of me some freedom *lol***

**Well have fun and please review. I can't thank anybody, because I didn't get any REVIEWS in tha last few chapters. But I have a lot of e-mails and messages and I thank all of you who wrote me. :-**

Bella's pov

Michael stood with his back to me, watching the crowd walking out the baggage claim. I knew it was him, he was one of a kind. His tousled spiky blond hair had always had a life on its own, shooting in every direction like a wild jungle. I had to smile when I saw that he still wore his probably older than me leather jacket he favored so much. He always told me "the older and worn the better it fits".

With thirty-nine he kept himself in good shape, always had. He couldn't hide his broad shoulders underneath the jacket. I watched him watching the arrivals for a moment. Memories of my childhood went through my mind. He was always there for my mom when she had a hart time, he supported her , guided her, maybe even loved her, I could never tell. I have never seen them flirting or any other signs that could have indicated more than friendship.

They were close, really close and he was like a father to me. I often imagined they were the perfect couple, but apparently they thought different. I remembered..._I must have been ten years old or so, my mom cooked dinner for the three of us, she had this smile on her face while she prepared every single dish. She looked happy and so was I, Michael always brought laughter into our house, he had a weird way with jokes I could never understand, but my mom seemed to get them all the time, or maybe it was just because I was still too young._

_That evening when he rang the bell and I opened the door, he came in his police uniform, looked all competent, powerful, controlled, even a little bit intimidating with his harness and it's weapon, baton and other things. But he was my hero, my guardian angel who could make my mommy laugh and that's what mattered most to me. He smiled at me and as always picked me up and gave me a giant hug. _

I sighed as the realization hit me full force once again, that all these memories were just that, a thing from the past, a time where I had been happy and was a normal child but that was all over now, no going back there. _I feel like I'm in a kind of dejà vu. My mom had Michael and I had Jason and in both cases, it broke all apart. _

As I felt the tears burning in my eyes again, I blinked and wished them away, I couldn't have them, not now where I needed my whole composure and strength to do this thing, to go over to him. One last time I inhaled deeply and straightened myself before I finally made my way to Michael. The Chinese or Japanese tourists separated some, so it was easy to go through. The closer I came the more nervous I got. I clenched my fists a few times as if that would make the tension go away, but of course it didn't.

When I stood two feet away I made up my mind and tried to speak. "Hello Michael I am right behind you." _Gosh was that my voice? This hoarse and hazy tone? _But it didn't matter anymore, because he apparently heard me anyway and turned around. He stared at me, like I was some alien, didn't say a word or reacted in any way at all, just stared holes into me. And just as I wanted to speak again, he yelled "Bella" and took me in a bear hug, squeezed me like cheese. But I didn't care, I savored this moment for as long as I could, put my arms around him and held on for dear life, like he would disappear every moment.

I heard him talking but couldn't understand a word while he muffled into my hair. The hundred emotions I felt all at the same time overwhelmed me and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, so I cried right on Michael's chest and clenched my fingers in his leather jacket.

He stroked my hair with so much care and sensitivity that I cried even more until they were mere sobs. "It is all good now sweety... you are save... you are here and nothing will ever hurt you again." Michael himself didn't sound so tearless anymore, his voice husky and I heard him swallow several times.

I couldn't talk, I trembled and the lump in my throat was so big I had to cough to keep breathing. "Bella....lets go home." Was all he said and I nodded against his upper arm while he led the way to his car, one arm constantly around my shoulders. Somehow I thought he had the same feeling as I, he just couldn't let go of me, needed reassurance that I was real and that felt better than anything else.

He opened the car-door for me, waited until I was seated and closed it. Seconds later he sat beside me and drove in silence through Phoenix. I looked outside the window into the night and watched as houses and trees I haven't seen in almost two years flew by, even though the sight was a blur through the traffic and street lights and me still crying. I felt relieved but tense and something in my chest hurt intensely, like a hole that got ripped open again.

Twenty minutes later we arrived at Michael's house, it stood tall, white with two stories and a huge front yard in the beautiful neighborhood. Memories flashed up again, but I tried to ignore them, it was already hard enough without them to be back.

He got out first and opened my door. Then we walked side by side to the front-door. The closer I came the more anxious I got and I had to stop a few feet away. Michael watched me, a concerned look on his face. _Oh God, I can't see my dad already, I need some time. I need to get used to Michael at first, that's already too much. And both of them together at once? _I actually started to shiver at the thought. I was nervous, really frightened.

Michael must have read my thoughts or something. "Bella, your dad isn't here yet, he will arrive tomorrow afternoon at 2 P.M., he wasn't as lucky as you to get an earlier flight. So don't worry, you have time to settle yourself. He is as excited as you are."

I sighed and shook my head. _Excited isn't exactly the word I would have used right now, but I can't tell you that_. It was actually cruel and rude to behave like I did, after all I was the person who left, who brought so much pain in the first place and now I was afraid of the consequences. "I'm sorry Michael, I...it's just too much right now. I am so sorry and grateful that you helped me and all I do is being mean and disrespectful."

He hugged me again. "I don't know why you think that sweety. But the most important thing right now is, that you must understand that neither your father or I hold any grudge against you or whatever it is you think. Both of us are happy, deeply grateful to have you back. Please don't think otherwise."

"Thank you...thank you so much." That was all I could get out before my voice became husky again. But I couldn't deny the big relief I suddenly felt, like a heavy load had been lifted off of my shoulders. My dad wasn't here...yet. So we went inside eventually and Michael showed me my room I would stay in for the time being. He gave me the huge guestroom with adjoined bath, everything seemed as if nothing had changed, though all was different. The room had the same sun - yellow color, the light colored furniture stood at it's regular places, even the pictures of his family and friends.

The clock on the nightstand read 5:26 A.M., and as if my body suddenly realized the time, I was exhausted from the flight and all the waterworks I've shared unwanted lately. Eventually I yawned but tried to hide it behind one hand, though Michael saw it anyway. "Sweety you are tired and totally worn out. Go to sleep and get some rest."

_Sleep! Sleep means nightmares and that means monsters and haunting vampires! I don't want to sleep, never ever again! _I told myself yelling in my mind. "Um it's nothing I just have a little jet lag that's all, I just need a shower and will be fine." But I felt leaden and heavy, another headache pounded in my skull. And again, my body didn't want what my head wanted. The angel versus devil part was always present and so unwanted.

Michael sighed and frowned slightly. "Bella...have you looked in the mirror lately? You look worse than a ghost. If you think that I mind you going to sleep for whatever reason you might have not to, then let me tell you. Sweety, I want you to, I would say I insist that you sleep." He sounded almost desperate and helpless.

I looked at him and saw the raw pain in his expression for a second, it teared at my heart, I never willingly tried to hurt him, but somehow I did it anyway, so I just smiled back not to let him know I caught what he tried so hard to hide. "Alright I promise that after I took a shower I go to bed." _Or maybe not if I can prevent it. _Michael regarded me for another moment as if undecisive what to do, but then he nodded and turned and closed the door, leaving me in peace.

I paced self-consciously back and forth. Guilt swept over me, I hated that I lied yet again. _Why didn't __you tell him that you are afraid to close your eyes? Oh I know why, because he wouldn't understand if he doesn't know the whole story. And maybe even then, he would find me crazy probably. What a mess! _

After another pacing round I wasn't any closer to a solution for my sleeping problem, I just knew I had to find something to keep me awake. Which appeared to become impossible as I felt my eyelids drop with every passing minute. My heart sped up in anticipation and fear. Eventually I undressed, turned the shower on and sat with my arms enfolding my legs on the tile floor, letting the hot water pour over my dull body.

The steady rhythm of the water was making me sleepier, the sound somewhat too relaxing. I started to panic and rose just as fast, washed my hair and body, took a towel and dried off. I didn't dare to look in the mirror, I knew I would not like the reflection so I just avoided it altogether. After I brushed my teeth and hair I stood very still at the basin, my fingers clenched into the edge of the marble, knuckles turned white.

With eyes closed, I concentrated on my breathing but soon I felt dizzy and stopped. _Damnit i__t can't be that hard to stay awake? What can I do? What? What? _Agitated and afraid I looked in all the drawers, like a drug addict for more dope. The headache turned to a nagging pain by now and my eyes burned which made staying awake even tougher.

Finally in the last drawer I found what I was looking for, a pocketknife. As soon as I held the tiny thing I felt instantly better. I didn't even bother to turn the water on or put my arm above the basin, I just slit right there in the middle of the bathroom. The pain was exhilarating and cheered me up. I sliced extra deep to keep the feeling a little longer than usual. One of the four lines bled profusely and hurt more than the others and I loved it even moaned.

After the throbbing started I decided to clean my wrist finally. The cold water stung but added to my relieved feeling. I traced the lines and smiled. The deepest wound still bled and wouldn't stop, so I pressed my hand against it. Minutes passed before it finally ceased to a slightly dripping, I wrapped a bandage around it. The sink was crimson red, I liked the sight, found it even beautiful.

But of course I couldn't keep it like that, so I washed it off and checked the floor where I stood before. There were some stains, but easily cleaned for it was a tile floor. Afterwards I felt dizzy, even sick in the pit of my stomach and decided to lay down. I dragged myself into the bedroom and tried to find something to wear. As I opened the closet, I was surprised and shocked to find most of my clothes I had when I lived in Phoenix.

Without spending another thought on it, I chose lacy underwear and my favorite red satin nightgown, it felt light on my skin, like a soft caress. The pounding in my head increased to a stabbing pain and I started to sway, almost fell as I stumbled. _Alright so that is not good. I don't think I've become clumsy suddenly. Maybe this whole stay awake thing wasn't such a good idea after all. _

I checked the time again and arched an eyebrow as I read twice that it was already 7:11 A.M. That was when I realized for the first time that it was light outside. _How could I be so preoccupied not to see the sun? Weird, I must be more tired than I thought, though my head is killing me right now. Alright Bella, let's do it, let's get it over with and try._

Sleeping became a task more than an ordinary thing it usually was. The last nightmare scared the hell out of me and I didn't want or needed a rerun. I closed the curtains and eventually climbed in bed, felt how the unconsciousness took over already. By the time I lay under the covers, I was fast asleep.

A knock on the door woke me, I stirred and groaned, didn't want anybody to disturb me, at least not yet. I was still tired and sleepy. "Hey Bella, are you awake? Are you alright?" Michael knocked again. I made in unladylike sound and pouted at the annoyance.

"Yes I am awake... now, what is it, you said yourself you wanted me to sleep and as I can see it's dark outside so why do you wake me up now?" I rubbed my arms and sat up frowning, trying to awaken.

Michael sighed on the other side of the door which was weird for me. "I'm sorry sweety, I just wanted to check on you. I haven't seen you all day and thought you might be hungry by now. I made dinner and would love to have your company."

_Why dinner? It's still dark so shouldn't he start out with breakfast first and at least wait until it gets light outside? _I sat frowning at myself. _Wait a minute! When I fell asleep the sun was up already and now it's dark. _I looked at the watch and was startled that it was already 9:46 P.M. _Wow I slept the whole day...and thank god without bad dreams, or if I had them I don't remember. _

"I'm coming as soon as I am dressed"

"Alright I wait in the kitchen for you then, take your time, no hurry." At least he sounded more cheerful now or so I thought. I stretched and rose. My head swam and I had to hold myself on the bed not to fall. I blinked to clear my vision. The headache was still pounding, though not as much as in the morning. I walked carefully into the bathroom. As I put the toothpaste on the brush I saw that the bandage was totally soaked in blood.

After brushing my teeth, I took the bloody gauze off. I washed my wrist thoroughly and examined the wound which looked still kind of raw, but stopped bleeding. _I guess one more day and it will start to scab. So no need to worry. My dizziness must be from lack of sleep and the last days take its toll probably now too. _The remaining dents felt good as I traced them with my thump. I knew I would have to cover my arms, so I dressed in black jeans and a brown long-sleeved shirt, then brushed my hair and put it in a ponytail before I went downstairs.

Michael sat at the table reading some police files, but put them away as soon as I came in. He smiled but looked intense and glanced a little bit too long at me. "Hey sweety, how are you?"

"Oh I feel grate. You were right, sleep did the trick and obviously I needed it, since I slept the whole day away." I knew I sounded totally convincing and that my face didn't give anything away that I didn't want him to know, thanks to all the training yet again. Though he arched an eyebrow and I wasn't so sure anymore. _I have to be careful with him, after all he is the captain of police, not too easy to con, he knows the tricks. But I can't have him know that I am dizzy, still. _

"I made chicken casserole and white rice. It's in the refrigerator, you just have to warm it up."

I grinned and went straight to get my food. "I haven't had that in....I don't know how long actually. Oh and thanks for the clothes, that was very considered and nice." _This is so awkward already and I'm in here for what? Three minutes or so? Jeez, that should become very interesting._

"I thought you would like to have some of your old clothes and since you didn't bring any luggage which is odd and I'd like to know why that is... it was even convenient and needed." After the microwave went off, I took the plate and sat across from Michael who did it again...regarding me with those observing police eyes. I tried to ignore it, even smiled at him happily and started to eat despite the growing tension in my body. _He tries hard to read me, I can see how concentrated and careful he is. Phew why does this have to be so tough? _

"Do you go often to moms house?" I said hesitantly between bites.

"Well, I honestly haven't been there in the last couple of months, I actually just went there yesterday to get you something to wear. It was hard for me to be there even after all this time." He waited a second before he continued. "You know that it is yours now, right? Your mom left you everything in her will. The car, the estates, her money about 625.000$ and jewelery about 90.000$." He looked at me expectantly.

I wasn't ready to hear that, it sounded so...final and obscure to me. And it was another fact that made it more veritable even though I already knew that my mom would never come back. _Does he try to shake me? Why would he tell me so fast? Does he think it is important to me, that I am almost rich now? Is he thinking I am greedy?...NO, oh no...he wants to see my reaction, that's what it is, well I'm sorry Miky but it's not gonna work. _Absent-minded I chewed on the chicken for a long time, working the words over in my head, again and again.

"Um you said estates...which means plural. I don't get it?" I frowned at him in wonder.

Michael seemed so sad, almost disappointed, looking almost exactly as I felt. "Your mom inherited your grandparents estate in Los Angeles as they died and now it has been passed over to you."

"I never knew that, mom never told me about the house in LA, it is so weird for me to have all these things now suddenly but to have nothing at all at the same time. It doesn't mean a thing to me, to have money and a house, hell even two. All what matters is that it won't ever be the same without her." I was flippant but didn't know why, something triggered the anger I felt for no reason...once again.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't very nice, I mean to almost yell at you. It's just...damn I don't even know."

Michael took my left hand between his, a gesture of understanding and soothing. "Sweetheart you don't have to apologize, ever. You have emotions like everybody else and it is alright to show anger and frustration, to cry and to grief and to talk about things." _Aha so I was right after all, he tested me. I should be insulted or maybe not. It was my own fault to rise my voice at him. What is wrong with me? So much to keep the face blank._

He squeezed my hand and nodded as if to give me allowance which was totally weird. So I did what I learned and smiled sweetly. "Trust me I'm fine, you just took me off guard and I reacted wrong. I should have known better."

Michael watched me for a long moment, then he sighed, dropped his head a little as if he surrendered which made me feel bad all over again. _Duh give him something, just a little bit. _"Do you know how long I grieved? How long I cried over the same thing? It's annoying and it makes me vulnerable. And I can't afford to be weak." I groaned and Michael looked at me questioning, probably trying to find out what I meant. _Bella, you do this all wrong, now you just made him more curious than ever. Great just great. _

"Alright so I guess it's me who has to start here.... You know the hard thing for me was and still is, that I don't know anything about what happened...really happened. I mean you lost your friend in a brutal and horrible way, then one day later you lost your mom and you were abused. We never found their killer, Phil as you told me. Both deaths were abnormal, where your friend had been drained visibly, your mother had been found dried out, no blood at all. We never found any indications to solve these murders.

I talked personally to the doctors who examined you that night, you were a total mystery to them and also to me after I heard what they found or didn't find actually. They knew you were....raped, you had the usual bruises and laceration but they couldn't find any semen whatsoever even though I drove you straight to the hospital. This whole case is still ongoing and brought me sleepless nights more than any other case I've ever worked.

And then you left suddenly, I was worried sick about the why's and if you would do something horrible to yourself. After all you went through a traumatic experience and were in shock. I thought your decision was reflex and instinct. You needed to run and escape from what had happened. Victims do such things sometimes. I read your letter so many times before I even realized what you really did.

Taking your moms credit cards and leave like this was terrifying. And I hated myself for letting you do this with sixteen. I hate myself for not following you and drag you back home. Every time I traced you account transactions I was scared to death when I saw in how many different states you have been and later even Italy, flying over the ocean to another continent. I was devastated every time you called, I tried to stay calm and not just to buy the next flight ticket to pick you up from wherever you where.

I asked myself every single second, why would you drive throughout the whole country and then leave for Europe. I tried to see it rational and carefully thought out. I tried to see you as the victim you were and how you would think, what would you do? But apparently I made a mistake right there because you weren't the ordinary victim somehow.

It didn't made sense to me at all until one day I woke frozen with fear and came to the conclusion, that you might be crazy enough to try to find the killer yourself. After all you know how he looks like. I paced around trying to figure out what signs or indications you might have found to drive so many miles. I was sure at some point that you traced him somehow, did the impossible, because we never had the tiniest bit of information and that thought was sickening.

And then the phone calls became fewer and fewer and I waited long to hear from you again. I was agitated and close to take off. When you were in Rome I traced you there just as well and found out you stayed in one place for months, so I actually believed you somehow settled down and really went to school. But I wanted reassurance, so I called all the schools, colleges, universities, heck all the premises where you could have possibly studied and non of them within a twenty miles radius ever heard of one Isabella Swan.

So I was on full alert and asked myself again, what would you do in Europe and why wouldn't you tell me the truth? I started digging deeper and found out you stayed with someone named Jason Harley who happened to be a former CIA agent from Washington D.C., who quit his job several years ago. This whole situation became weirder and stranger by the minute. How did you meet somebody from the CIA? Why would you stay with this person I wondered?"

I swallowed hard at all this information, I was completely shocked. "Oh God...I...I...you knew so much..." Michael interrupted me.

"No please let me get this out." I nodded and kept on listening.

"I worked my brain off to figure that one out, it was a really tough task. Unfortunately when I finally decided to confront you with it, the phone calls stopped completely as if you knew. Of course I tried to call, but it was a dead end since you never picked up, so I traced you every time your cellphone had been turned on and knew you were still in Rome, but then around two weeks ago the signal suddenly went dead from one moment to the other and somehow I had a bad feeling about it.

One day later I was informed that your place had been burned down to the ground and that it wasn't an accident. My worst fears became true within seconds and I blamed myself for everything. I called your dad immediately and he booked the first flight. We thought you were dead until three days after the authorities called. Apparently they didn't find any bodies or in this case ash, which gave me hope again. I couldn't believe that somebody tried to kill you or this Jason or maybe even both of you intentionally. My first suspicion was the killer, that you found him or the other way around.

The Police tried to find any evidence about what might have taken place until they concluded it must have been an old enemy of Jason Harley from his times at the CIA, who still held a grudge or something. So they passed the case to D.C.

I worried, wondered, guessed and tried to make sense of all this mess, but couldn't. I actually started all over from scratch. Asked myself if there was another reason right from the beginning why you left, that your friends and moms death might have had nothing to do with it at all. So these last few days were actually hell. Your dad called several times, telling me, there was no evidence or signs were you could have gone. I tried to trace your bank transactions, but there were non.

And then suddenly, the impossible and unbelievable happened....you called. When I picked up the phone and heard your voice, I almost fainted with shock and relief all at the same time. I felt like a sledgehammer knocked me over as I couldn't breathe for a few seconds. First I thought it wasn't you, that somebody tried to joke around but then you kept talking and I had to believe it was you and all I could think of, was to get you back as soon as possible and now you are here which is still the world biggest wonder for me at some point.

I have so many questions, I want and need to know everything what happened. Why you traveled so much? What you did with an former CIA agent and where you met him? Why weren't you with him when you called or if you were, where is he now? Why did you stay in Italy for so long suddenly? Did you really try to find your moms killer? God there are so many unanswered things I have to know." His voice actually broke and silent tears dripped down his cheeks. It was the worst sight for me at that moment.

I was the one who made him cry like this, I caused him all this pain, those sleepless nights, those weird conclusions, which actually would make more sense than the things that really happened. I was the one who abandoned my family, for reasons they would probably never understand or worse believe. My chest hurt so much, I felt squeezed and knocked out of breath.

_I have to tell him, I owe him the truth and so much more. Why did I ever think he would just take my lies and would not come after me? I should have known he would trace my calls my transactions. I was blind and oblivious, totally ignorant and naïve. _

I took a deep breath, I was shook down to the bones so much that I actually trembled. My stomach lurched in anticipation of the things I would tell him soon and the horror I would have to relive once again. I looked down at my wrists, tried to remember the feeling to calm myself.

"Um...I am honestly shocked about the things you knew or didn't know. And I know I owe you, I owe you big and not just you. Damn my dad...the things I did...I don't even know where to start, no, how to start." I rubbed my temples in agitation, looking away from Michael.

"I guess my information were a bit to much at once I understand that perfectly. These past months were hell, especially the last two weeks. I don't blame you for anything at all. I just want closure and clarity. Let me tell you something which is very important." _More? OH please not more._

I nodded silently. "When I look at you now almost two years later, I don't see a teenager anymore. What I see is a grown up woman, who must have been through hell. Your whole posture, the way you look and see and most definitely your eyes tell that you saw things most people haven't and probably ever would.

I can tell you that you are very observant, controlled, very careful and resolute about the things you tell somebody. You can keep your expression perfectly plain and blank, though your brain works flat out. The way you disguise yourself with mere movements and appearance most police officers or agents can't even copy after years of training and practice. You give away what you want and when though you have brake-downs but not for long. I'm impressed and it's rather incredible what you can do. But these things I see and I'm sure I am right, didn't come just overnight.

Many criminals try to have a poker face and yours is almost perfect which brings me back to what really happened and how and why? I am actually scared to hear the answer, because there must have been a very good reason for you to become like this. It tears at my heart to see my little girl so changed."

I raised my eyebrows. This physical analysis took me off guard and bothered me that he could read me so completely. But I was glad that he couldn't see behind the mask, at least not all the way through.

"Wow, maybe you should have become a psychologist, because that was incredible." I tried to be funny and divert the conversation to something else, but knew sooner or later I have to tell so I sighed. "Please don't say something, I know I just tried to deviate the conversation. But could you do me one favor? Could we postponed this to when my dad is here, so that I don't have to tell my story twice, it is already hard enough to say these things once."

He glanced at me and nodded. "I don't know what it is but I have the odd feeling that I won't like any of the you so called things."

"Well let just say, the conclusions you have made weren't so far off, but there is a part and that's the one I'm actually scared to tell you."

"Alright we should stop, you irritate me even more and I don't like it very much. I'm too curious and will have another sleepless night where I try to put the missing puzzle pieces together overnight until you finally tell me what it is."

"I'm really sorry and you won't ever know how true that is. I will see you tomorrow. Please don't be mad or disappointed but I won't come with you to pick up my dad from the airport. I'm going to meet him here." I got up from the chair, smiled at Michael and left the room without saying another word. He sighed with impatients.

Back in my room I lay on top of the bed hands behind my head, staring at the ceiling. _He knew, he knew almost everything. And I always thought I was convincing? Who am I kidding here? It is rather ridiculous and ludicrous. He knew about Jason? Hearing his name alone made me almost stumble and choke. Things were so much easier with him. God I miss you, I really do. _

I sat up and looked around until my eyes spotted the sweat-jacket Rachel gave me. My hands closed around the necklace and I rose to get the letter. Her words were so pure, so wonderful, so calming, they made me feel proud and even believe or at least wonder if there might be some truth after all. I would never forget any of those flattering words, they were imprinted and memorized in my brain for all time. _Thank you so much Rachel, I won't ever forget you._

Smiling, I stood up and walked over to the drawer with the photographs on top. I took each one of the frames and looked at the picture. Mostly they were vacation snapshots with Michael's parents and siblings when he was much younger probably my age. His family traveled a lot. Egypt, Paris, Australia, China and the United States itself. They looked happy, like every family should.

Two pictures caught my eyes and made my heart ache. One showed my dad not too long ago, maybe three years. He and Michael went fishing, it was a rainy day and they looked both totally soaked wet but had a huge grin on their faces. Both held some monster fish that took up most of the photo.

The other showed my mom and me on Christmas 2005. The brightly lit tree in the background, my mom stood behind me with her arms around my shoulders, smiling sweetly in the camera. Her eyes were so beautiful, they shimmered almost golden and looked as if there were stars in them. The memory hurt, was painful and I gritted my teeth to distract me from crying. I took several deep breaths before I even dared to open my eyes again.

Annoyed I went downstairs, hoping Michael was still up. Unfortunately I found him asleep on the couch with the TV running. I frowned, pursed my lips and turned around. On a small triangle shaped table close to the front-door I found a bowl with several keys. I recognized his car-, house-, garage- keys and finally the ones I was looking for.

I didn't bother to take a jacket, it was 11:52 P.M. but 76 degrees plus I wanted to enjoy the night and walk the four blocks anyway. The neighborhood was quiet besides the swishing sound of trees and hedges. Most houses were dark, their owners probably fast asleep. Street lights led the way through the peaceful silence. Now and then my sneakers made a crunching noise on the ground when I stepped on loose pebbles. Almost each time, somewhere in the bushes was a rustling sound from little animals.

The night was beautiful, the air refreshing. At one time I used to love late night strolls through this particular neighborhood but now it was too much and too painful, the memories devastating and heartbraking. Finally when I reached the last corner and saw the house of my childhood, the breath caught in my lungs.

I felt so much at the same time it was overwhelming. Everything looked so perfect, the lawn was mowed just recently, the flowers bloomed, the hedge freshly cut. The two story building seemed as beautiful as on the first day I've seen it. With it's white bricks, little turrets and columns it looked like a palace, made for princesses in fairy tails. The sight alone brought tears to my eyes, though I couldn't tell if it was the house or the memory, I guessed both.

As I opened the gate, light turned on and went along the wide paved path to the three steps that led inviting to the front door. I stood very still for a moment, taking it all in and concentrated on my breathing. Calmer but with my heart racing, I followed the light until I reached the door handle. I took the key out of my pocket with shivering hands and eventually opened the last barrier to my past.

Instead of my mom, darkness and deathly silence welcomed me. I went to the left and turned on all the light switches. Instantly the foyer, hallways both up- and downstairs were brightly lit. The luxurious chandelier sparkled like thousand diamonds, illuminating the marble floor and spiral stairway, giving the expression of warmth and welcome. An arched, golden framed mirror on the opposite wall made the entryway look even bigger. Bronze sculptures and incredible art decorated each side along the wall. In the center stood a little table with exotic flowers displayed in a crystal vase which fulfilled the glorious sight even more. Michael must have ensured that the house stays clean throughout all this time.

Sorrow and guilt swamped through me, the memories drove me almost to my knees, ripping the hole in my chest bigger apart. I took a slow and deep breath before continuing, dragging myself through the past yet again, though this was somewhat worse. I could touch all I wanted, feel, smell and see the things I haven't in so long.

My footsteps were so quiet, some would think I glided, but it was despair and indecision that pulled me so slowly forward. I knew every corner, every inch, every furniture but I walked as if I didn't know anything at all, as if trying to get use to the extend of the environment.

I went to the living room, the kitchen, the study-room, looking around but not touching until finally I took the steps to my moms bedroom. My hand trembled again as I tried to open the door. The only sound was that of my own beating heart drumming in my ears. With a clenching fist and nails digging into my palm in agitation I sighed but pushed the door open very slowly as if something waited on the other side and I was afraid it would jump out every moment.

Nothing came though, just pitch black silence greeted me, eventually devoured me as I walked in. With my hand I felt along the wall to find the light switch the other pressed protectively over my chest. The bright light was blinding at first but my eyes adjusted quickly and tears welled up as I saw the room, her room, her private area after so long.

Like the rest of the house it was stunning, individual and artificial. Mixed colors, black, white and red made it look very modern, casual and somewhat elegant. I walked around, traced and stroked over the furniture as if caressing and memorizing their shape. Above the fireplace hang a picture of me, almost the size of the mantle itself, I was maybe 14. My mom loved the black and white close up, she always said it seemed to shine from the inside out with vitality. And like always all I saw was a smiling face and a sort of pretty picture when I had been younger as I stood and stared at it.

With a heavy heart I sat down on her bed just my eyes moved and wandered around, observing, seeking, knowing. I tried to breathe normal but my chest felt too constricted so out came gasps and moans with sorrow while quiet tears dripped down my cheeks, at least the ones I couldn't stop anymore. In the past I thought the house had always been too big for two people, a waste, but now, it felt like a maze that devoured me in its trap with no way out. Too much space, too much stuff, too many things that belonged to my mom, too many memories, hell to much of everything.

Despite grief I felt anger seething deep inside, threatening to well up and consume me. I didn't know why or for whom it was meant to be, it was just there, all the time, never really leaving. _Am I furious at myself? Is it Phil? Is it somebody else? Shouldn't I be the person who to tell of whom I'm angry? I just __don't know it's just growing stronger somehow as if something else lives inside of me that wants to come out after years of resting. Ever since...Phil happened and the things after the feeling becomes stronger and more frightening. _

_There were so many days especially in the last few weeks were I thought my body doesn't belong to me, that something wild and untamed shows itself time and time again. Everytime I had been weak, just before giving up and letting go the sudden anger grew and gave me enough energy to survive. And how about the slicing thing, huh? It's just so weird. Since when did I start to like seeing my own blood run out of my own skin? Yeah I know it makes me feel better and I can sleep and all, but still I like to look at it, I like the feeling and besides the throbbing pain there is nothing else. Shouldn't it hurt more? I don't understand? Especially in days like today, where I should grief and cry and do whatever, but no, I am not just that I am so angry right now I'd like to throw things, run around, get rid of the emotions. God what is wrong with me?_

Totally confused and annoyed with myself I walked out of my mom's room and went into my own. It looked all nice, clean and tidy. Nothing has been moved or seemed different in any way at all and this was nerving me too, though I didn't know why. Maybe I expected that the house would be a mess just like the rest of my life lately, but of course not and why should it? Besides Michael and the housekeeper which I don't understand why she still comes since nobody lives here anymore and hasn't for many many months.

My own room, no, the environment I just walked in didn't feel like mine anymore. _Purple? Why the heck did I ever wanted that color? It seems more like for a girl who goes to high school and watches __TV and invites her friends over for slumber parties....which I am not. Alright so maybe at one time I was but serious... purple? Why did I like that? I feel like Barbie in here and purple is the new pink. _

I groaned and sat cross-legged on the love-seat, hands resting on my knees not knowing whatelse to do. Despite the fact that I literally was in my own room I looked around as if I've never had been in here before. The bookshelf caught my eyes though. I read some of the titles and remembered immediately what those books were about. Even I had to laugh and shook my head at the weird irony or maybe dejà vu, one had to chose between these two.

_Vampires everywhere huh? In most of them they were the good guys and didn't harm the humans, how ridiculous and crazy that is? Brothers who fight against other evil creatures I hope I would never encounter. Or the ones where mortal and immortals live side by side, vampires even had their own courts, police and FBI's, hell they even went to shrinks for therapy. _

_Or the ones were humans fall in love with them, which seems so totally insane just to think about now. Yeah we live in a crazy world. People write and read about these things and hope that maybe one day they would meet one of the creatures. Well let somebody tell them, they should be more than thankful that they hopefully never would because there is nothing nice about them. _

_Well alright that's not completely true I guess. And here I think about you again Jason and your new friends. Gosh Edward...he really looked too sexy for his own good! Wait, why do I think about him? Though there is truth... he most definitely was gorgeous, the most beautiful and sensual man I've ever seen actually. Just thinking about him kind of turns me on. His messed up hair, his chiseled face, his body, which probably is lean and strong and oh all those muscles. He is extremely hot and looks good enough to eat. How would it feel like to trace each define line of his adorable body? Or squeeze his buttocks and lick and nip at his nipples? Playing with his soft flesh, hear him moaning and pleading? Rubbing myself against him like a cat, purring in his ear? Sheesh what am I thinking? _

I frowned, shook my head in denial and rose, glancing around like a lost child. _So Bella instead of having some weirdo sexual fantasy about some vampire which alone is a complete no go you should do something productive! …..And what shall I do? It's after midnight, I have nowhere else to go other than Michael. _Sighing I decided to turn the TV on then snuggled back down on the love-seat. Completely bored and absent-minded I flicked through channels back and forth paying no attention whatsoever other than to the flicker every time I changed to another program. Minutes later I somehow stopped pressing the buttons on the remote without even realizing it and "Pretty Woman" was one. I just thought why not and watched the movie until my eyelids dropped, unconsciousness embraced me with open arms.

Suddenly hands slid over my body, the pads of fingers lingered lightly on my skin. The touch so caressing and sensual, my stomach muscles tightened. I didn't dare to open my eyes but laid very still waiting for something to happen.

I felt every single stroke. The way those hands traced from my shoulder, over my arms, leaving my body for a short moment then sliding beneath my shirt, little flames danced were those fingers touched my skin until they eventually cupped my breasts. Thumps teased and flicked my nipples to hard peaks through the lacy bra. I liked it, I liked it a lot. I was actually melting into a pool of creamy liquid between my legs.

_Am I insane? Why do I like this? Why am I getting all hot here? Oh God.....! _I screamed the last part as a mouth replaced the fingers. Lips traced a path along the rising swell, over my nipples and under the full mound down to my belly. Then switching to the other side and going back up teasing my skin, my peaks. My back arched as teeth scraped slightly at the pulse in my throat and for the first time I heard moaning from the stranger while hot breath added to the sensuality and aroused me even more.

Hands closed around my wrists ever so lightly and slowly moved them above my head. Then palms slid over my stomach, my breasts yet again. Fingers tugged and pushing my shirt aside, up over my head and finally off my arms. Eventually I opened my eyes, needed to know who this person was, who could turn me to mush with a touch.

Shocked and surprised all at the same time, I looked directly into Edward's golden eyes filled with so much lust and hunger that my body responded instantly. Bursting with need. He smiled at me. "Oh angel, I'm here and I want you, I need you, I waited so long for you." I couldn't think or talk. I just stared at him in disbelief and wonder until I managed a light nod.

He sat beside me on the floor, just in pans, showing his broad shoulders, his six pack, his narrow waist. His body hard and tight, the bulge in the front of his jeans impressive. "Do you know what I want? I want you screaming and begging my name while I seduce you over and over again." He pulled me up so that I sat on the love seat with him between my thighs.

His gaze went over my body, up and down before he bent his head to my neck. His tongue swirled over my pulse, over my chin, teasing my ear-lope. The sensation so arousing, my breath came in gasps. Edward's hand cupped my breasts again, stroking the round and lush shape. "I want you naked." His voice so husky and rasping I felt the low rumble of it vibrating through my whole body right down to my core.

I arched my back for him, pressing my curves out in invitation, giving him excess to my back. His fingers traced and played slowly over my skin so that my womb clenched, triggered tiny little quakes. As my bra loosened behind me and his fingers pushed the straps over my shoulders, leaving my breasts exposed for him, his breath caught in his lungs.

"You are so beautiful." He took the tip of my nipples into the hot cavern of his mouth. His teeth tugged, his lips sucked. I moistened my lips, closed my eyes and couldn't stop the moan while he drove me insane with need. When Edward flicked at it with a quick hard stroke, I almost jumped beneath him and cried out. He growled with pleasure, slid his palms over my skin and lifted my hips, pulling me so that my butt was half on the love seat and the other half in midair.

His teasing fingers opened the button of my jeans, then pulled down the zipper ever so slowly. His eyes filled with lust and need my heart seemed to stop for a moment as I waited for him to free me completely. He took his time, placing kisses over my already too hot skin and tugged at my jeans until he slid them off ever so tender, I went up in flames. Everything inside of me focused completely on that one burning, wet spot. I throbbed for him, I wanted him, no, needed him, I felt the moisture gathering between my legs, my thong probably soaked with it already.

I saw his nostrils flare as Edward spread my legs, started to pant, his eyes became smoky and glazed. My breasts were swollen and aching, begging for attention as did the rest of my body. He made short process of the last annoying lacy part and just ripped it off. Without warning he simply bent over, his long beautiful body hovering over mine and buried his face between my thighs. I screamed out at the first touch of his mouth, I writhed beneath him as his tongue stabbed deep, licking the cream out of my soft flesh.

While he suckled, his thump massaged my clitoris, drawing small circles around it, playing with my creamy liquid. My hands dug into his hair, holding him to me, never wanting him to stop. I was panting and moaning, gasping as one finger slid into my deepest core. My muscles clenched around him, my head tossed back and forth as he teased my ultrasensitive flesh.

Edward retreated his finger and brought it to his mouth, sucking on it like a lollipop. "You taste like thousand dreams, sweet and spicy, my very own honey." He moaned as if it was the best he'd ever had, then he slid it back inside me, adding a second finger, making me arch into him helplessly, trying to take him even deeper while I went up in flames. He pulled them out and thrusted deep again, repeating the motion over and over again. Heat swept through me like a hurricane, I almost whimpered. "Oh God you are so ready for me, all hot and wet."

Edward stroked my clitoris with his tongue, putting more pressure to it while his hands doing the most wonderful things. I moved my hips, seeking release from the building torment in my own body. The rhythmical dance of his fingers, the sound of his panting, of my own drove me finally over the edge. I screamed at the climax hit me, my body jerked with aftershocks while his fingers were buried deep still.

He pulled out carefully, placing a soft kiss where the heat remained before blanketing my body with his. I could feel the hard strength, the long, hot, thick length of his penis pressing against my thigh. Apparently he got rid of his pans while seducing and indulging me. Anticipation and excitement made my heart race, sending waves of urgency spreading through me. Edward nudged closer to my sensitive and creamy flesh, his eyes never leaving mine, his hands placed on either side of my head and his velvet tip pressed lightly against my entrance, making me jump once. I wanted him inside me, right now, so I nudged forward to meet his jerking erection.

I heard somebody yell my name several times, first it sounded far away but it got louder, closer and I woke with a start, panting, my head braced on my hands.

_Oh please, it was a dream? Duh of course it was. But it felt so real. _I touched myself. _Sheesh I am wet._ _Wow Edward, would it be like this? His skin was so cold on mine and his hands were so caressing and oh his body..._

" Bella, Oh thank god you are here" I got interrupted and turned around. Michael stood in the doorway with rosy cheeks and panting. It was obvious he ran all the way.

I groaned, totally annoyed with his dump question. "Of course I am here, where else would I be?"

"Well, I was just afraid you...you...well when I knocked on your door this morning and you didn't answer I came inside but you were gone. I panicked and ran downstairs, but you weren't there either so I looked for the keys and saw that one was missing and ran as fast as I could."

"Why don't you say it out loud, you thought I walked out on you again!" Now I was really pissed, why would he think that? I just came back.

"I'm sorry, I really am, but it was just like the first time around and it scared the hell out of me." I groaned.

"Michael, I am might be silly from time to time but I'm not stupid or a coward. I am glad that I am back and I have to thank you for many things, so don't ever think I would hurt you again like I did already. I know I have changed... a lot and you don't understand me and it's probably too much to ask for, but please start trusting me again."

He sighed and rubbed his head frowning. "Um I maybe shouldn't and it's weird but I do trust you more than you think. It was just shock, so I calm down now and everything is good, alright?" _Gosh how awkward but he feels the same way so it's not as bad as it was. _

"Alright, I know this whole think isn't easy for any of us so we just skip the weird part and start over....so good morning, what time is it?"

Michael smirked at that and grinned. How could I not grin back? He checked his watch. "Well good morning to you too. It's 10:36 A.M." _Wow I slept again and for a long time and had the most wonderful and sexiest dream ever. Maybe I not hopeless after all. _

"To answer your unanswered question. I looked at some pictures last night and felt an urgent need to walk here. It was odd to be back, but I thought sooner or later I had to do it anyway. So I walked through the house and apparently fell asleep. And now you are here to pick me up for breakfast." I showed him my teeth at the last part and smiled widely at him.

"Well how can I deny you anything? Let's walk back to my place and have breakfast then!"

"Good idea." With that we left and went back. About halfway I started running and we made it a race. Michael was fast and in shape, but so was I. Eventually I reached the house a second before him, panting like an old lady and totally sweaty. But we both started laughing like crazy.

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	21. Chapter 21: Charlie comes to Phoenix

**Hi folks, sorry it took me soooooo long to update, but I had some really crazy weeks. This chapter is very short for that I wanted to update finally. But the next one will be as long as the others until then enjoyed :-)**

Bella's PoV

After I munched my french-toast and had three cups of coffee I felt well sated and calmer. Though it could have been also the fact that Michael talked about ordinary stuff just like old times. He told me about his police work and that he got new rookies who apparently keep him very busy when he's not fighting bad guys and tries to solve criminal cases which happens almost every day. So the newbies are mostly on their own but doing great so far.

I saw his pride, it literally sparkled in his eyes and I couldn't help it but tease him. "You probably intimidated each one of them so badly with your I-am-the-boss-and-if-you-don't-do-as-I-say-you-are-in-big-trouble look, that they are totally afraid of you doing something like shooting them accidently, so you have your very own puppies now, huh?" I laughed out loud.

He just smirked which told me I was right. "Well let's just say it's all business and I can't have a circus with twenty something years old boys and girls running around like wild monkeys."

No I grinned and shook my head. "Wow, I guess if they would now what a charming, lovely and most harmless puppy you actually are, it would make things so much easier, right? ....which makes me thinking....maybe I should stop by one day." Michael almost choked on his bagel and looked shocked.

"Bella you can do everything you want, but that is completely prohibited unless you are in for some trouble and I have to lock you up." I giggled.

"Did you just admit that you are afraid of me?" I asked in my most earnest and sarcastic voice.

"Nooo" He said a little too quickly. "I just like to keep my dignity and authority." He said proud and convinced, tapping his fingers on the table as if to warn me.

"Well I guess I have to find something else then, huh?" I bit my lower lip not to laugh out loud again when I saw his narrowed eyes and pouting expression. It was hilarious really.

Michael checked his wristwatch and rose. "Well sweety it's time, I'll be back with your dad in about an hour." Now I was the one who was shocked with a lurching stomach.

Though I didn't let him see it, just nodded. "See you in a bit I guess." He regarded me for another moment and walked away. I sighed. _Let the __party start. Or better. Lets celebrate Halloween a little earlier this year. That should be lots of fun. I just hope I will do the right think here? ...sheesh I __can't have this self doubt right now! Bella, YOU OWE THEM! _

I went upstairs to take a quick shower, then decided to dress up a little though for no good reason but I felt somewhat more confident. And once I put some make up on and braided my hair I thought I looked pretty in the blue summerdress, almost innocent, which made me frown, because that I wasn't not in the slightest. And just as I put color matching sandals on, I heard the door open downstairs and a cheery "hello we are home."

I swallowed, tried to get the lump out of my throat, straightened my shoulders, inhaled deeply and eventually walked down to join them. _You can do it, you can do it, you can do it, you have to do it, you are a big girl and can take the consequences._

I saw my dad standing in the living room_. I so gonna faint. Maybe I can escape through the backdoor? Alright maybe not, thanks Michael for blocking the way to the kitchen! Alright just lets get it over with. Wow dad looks good. God look at does big brown doe-eyes. Does ebony hair, does broad shoulders and proud posture. Has he always been that good-looking?_

My dad watched me wide-eyed while I walked the steps, I heard him catch his breath and looked as if I were something alien, just like Michael did. His expression so perplexed but hopeful it broke my heart. _Don't cry, don't cry, __don't cry, remember you have make up in your face!_

But as soon as I reached the bottom my dad pulled me close to his chest and put his arms around me. "Oh God, Bella, I...I...love you so much." His voice totally hoarse and tearful, it was my brakedown. _Damnit you sissy. Why can they make you lose yourself so fast?_ _It's not fair!_ The tears welled up but I fought hard not to sob.

My own voice shivered, my arms crept around my fathers. "Dad...I...I...don't know what to say. Of course I love you and I am just so glad to see you again and Iamsorryforeverythingthathappened." I squeezed myself into him, almost painful and wept on his chest. _Two years, almost two fucking years. And it feels like yesterday. I have family, my very own family....thank you so much. _

His hands stroked over my back in a caressing movement, his chin nuzzled my hair. "Shh is all good honey...my baby I have you back...I can't believe it...is it real?"_ He had called me honey, just like he used to do when I was a child and he tucked me to be_d. Now I sobbed. _Ah to hell with all the discipline and self-control. I craved so long for this day to happen. __Daaaaaaaaaaad, I love you so much._

I pressed a little harder, held on for dear life. "You won't ever know how many times I went through this situation in my mind. But nothing came close to this. It's perfect and I sound like a little girl right now, but I don't care. Please hold me just a little longer."

God I sounded so hopeless and whiny my dad pressed one kiss on top of my head. "Bella my little girl, I will hold you as long as you want and if it's forever than so be it....I love..." I heard him gasp. My dad actually started to cry. I froze in shock and felt so ashamed like never before. _My dad, my superman, never cries! What have you done? He cries because of me?! Me! _

My lungs threaten to suffocate me, I couldn't breathe, my chest ached as if somebody just dropped a tanker on it. Nobody should ever make their parents cry like this. Not for the reason he did at last. It was all my fault. And I didn't thought about it for a minute when I left or did I? I didn't have an answer to that, because I couldn't remember, which was even sadder.

I straightened myself, tried to be courageous and tough, though the tears still floated, but with a better composure, I looked up at my dad. There was so much love, hope, gratefulness and sorrow. _I'm such a disgrace and infamy. Even after all this time, he looks at me no different as if nothing ever __had happened. And maybe it makes me even more selfish and arrogant. But I am so happy and thankful for his love. I don't deserve him, probably never __have, but this moment, this feeling, I won't ever forget it._

"I'm so very sorry and I know it won't ever be enough, but that's all I have to give, besides an explanation of course." I gave him my most unreserved apologizing look, because I felt it deep down right to my toes despite that I knew no matter what I will do in the future I could never make up for what was.

His eyes swam and a tear threatened to drop but he blinked it away. _That is worst than any bloodbath with loose limbs everywhere. I'd rather have all the bad monsters and their cruelty than seeing my dad so helpless. _

I lowered my head, but my dad tilted it back with his fingers under my chin. My heart started to race when I saw his eyes. He seemed lightly irate. "My one and only beloved daughter. I don't want to hear you apologizing to me ever again!" _Oh god now it comes. And I'm so not ready. Probably never. I don't want to lose you. You are the only family I have left. Though I deserve it I know. _"There will never be anything YOU have to apologize for. Not in the past or in the future."

"But...but..." He pressed his index finger against my lips to stop me.

"No BUT's here. The one and only person in this room has to be me. I shouldn't have let you go on like you did. I should have stopped you. I should have come to you wherever you were and get you. I should have never waited as long as I did. I shouldn't have abandoned my little girl. I should have come to you when you needed me the most. I am so very sorry that I didn't do anything. Can you ever forgive me?"

_What? What? Abandoned me? He asked me for...? That's the total deja vu. _"Um...eh... that was totally unexpected, you got me frankly speaking off guard and my legs feel like rubber right now, so if you don't want me to fall you better hold on, because otherwise I gonna do just that...drop to the floor like a puddle."

He pulled me as close as I could get to the warmth of his chest and squeezed tightly. I just closed my eyes and cherished the moment. "Sweetie I know I don't ask for a small favor but a huge demand. You have all the time in the world. I maybe shouldn't have asked at all, at least not minutes after I walked through the door. Please just let me enjoy the feeling of you in my arms right now if you don't mind until my head eventually, finally processes that you are real and not just some dream."

I muffled my words into his chest, hoped he would hear me anyway. "Well I guess I have bad news...I am real and stay that way. So you are stuck with me for the time being which means you better hurry up to realize that, because otherwise you gonna squeeze me to death."

My dad let go off me instantly, looking worried, searching for signs of injuries. Once he decided I must have been alright he sighed. "Sorry, I was just so overwhelmed suddenly."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I know."_ Who isn't? Please, somebody say something, because I don't know what to say. _

Then finally Michael saved us, probably knew and felt the same way. "Why don't we go and sit down and I make some coffee. Is any of you hungry?"

"NO." My dad and I said in unison, which made us grin and the tension ceased a little bit. Michael arched an eyebrow, looking back and forth between us.

"Well I guess coffee it is then."

Once we were seated the bothersome mood was back. Nobody said a word, nobody moved, nobody made a sound whatsoever except for the coffeemaker. Now and then we glanced at each other, then frowned, then quickly looked the other direction. I concentrated on the brewing sound behind me, listened to the constant flow of water until there was the peep...finally.

Michael got up, poured coffee into mugs and placed them on the table. "Thanks Mike." I smiled at him. He winked back. "Your very welcome." My dad just nodded. _That's gonna be a looooong day. _

"So?" Normally I would have laughed about all three of us saying that in unison, instead I groaned. _Bella do something! _

I cleared my throat for attention, though I had it already anyway. It just kind of encouraged me a little and brought me some control. "I don't know about you guys, but this situation here right now at this very moment is probably the most awkward moment I've ever had. So could somebody say something unless you want me to just start with...the...things....I have to tell you or would either one of you just give me a gun?" _There... now I said it. Let's see what you do with it, won't we?_

My dad looked taut and badly tense, hell so did Michael as if they have to make a life and death decision. _Well let them know that this isn't easy for me either._ But the gun-part brought a huge surprising and questioning expression on both faces. They regarded me intensely, trying to figure out what I meant. _Seriously, in the past they would have never taken so long to __figure that one out. And __now they watch me as if I have given them a complicated task. I would give everything to know what they think. _

Michael spoke first though he was hesitant. "You are right of course. Chatting about weather or daily events just doesn't feel right. I'm almost afraid to ask, but what do you need a gun for?"

My dad looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Not that you would ever get one though."

_Ha what do you know? Too late for that already. _"I see... my joke went right down the tube. I know it was rather lame of me, but hey somebody had to cut the deathly silence and it worked right...at least we talk...it's almost as if I am back with the vampi...." I shook my head to clear it. _Shit, shit, shit, Bella why don't you just shut up._

Michael and Charlie just might have been total spoilsports, but of course they would never stop being experienced and observant cops. So they caught everything I just said, their brains work 24/7 and it couldn't have sucked more. They both stiffened, my dad furrowed his brows. "I'm pretty sure I must have heard you wrong. Did you just say, no, wanted to say vampire?"

_That was my cue huh? _With propped elbows on the table and chin leaning on linked fingers, my eyes moving back and forth between them watching their faces for a long moment, trying to read something, but they were just as good in concealing their expressions. So I let my breath out very slowly.

"Well...um...yes I almost said vampires." _Did they just wince? _"I am not a nutcase or something, though you are probably not the only ones who would think that. But before you judge me. Please and it is very important for me, don't interrupt what I'm going to tell you."

"I don't think anything right now. Though I am honest, I have no idea why you would say something like vampires? If that's suppose to be another joke then I have to say sorry, because I didn't get that one either." My dad said in a very firm voice.

I sighed. "Would you please just listen. Michael and I had a talk already yesterday and I understand that you knew more than I ever guessed. I promised him to fill your holes and add the rest of the missing pieces. But I also told him, that neither one of you will like it.

And trust me when I say this ain't easy for me. So I ask you just for one thing. Please don't interrupt me. Just let me get this out and I promise you I will answer all your questions."

Michael nodded of course since we went through that earlier, but my dad looked at me as if he wasn't sure what to make of all this. You could almost see his brain working on the facts and mysteries, they didn't have...yet. Eventually something in my face must have convinced him. "Alright Bells, whatever it is I want to know. Two weeks ago, I thought I lost you, it was the worst thing, like nightmares have become true and now I'm sitting here in Arizona with my dearest friend and my thought dead daughter. I care a lot about the things you have to say, apparently you are the only one who can solve the "case"."

I mouthed thank you and took a deep breath. _Just do it._ I pulled my hands underneath the table, unclenched and clenched my fists over and over again in an attempt to calm myself. _I hope this will be the very last time where I have to do this._ "Alright...um...on that Halloween night, when Vanessa was murdered. I met Phil for the first time. Mom told me she met him a long time ago before that day but didn't tell me about it. Well she almost never did, thought it would be too much for me to handle. But with Phil, it was suppose to be different for her. Well it was...."

For the first time I told the whole story, from the beginning to the end. I said what truly, horribly happened. Why and what I did, how I survived and lived. Even some of the time when I wasn't hunting, when I had a good time with Jason, when we tried to live a normal life now and then again. Speaking of him brought tears to my eyes. The images were so real in my head that sometimes I couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't.

Once I started with some happy memories, I remembered even more, things I forgot about, precious things. Like those days when Jason overslept and he throw pillows against his door after I knocked to wake him up. _He was always such a morning grouch. Sleepyhead. And now it won't ever happen again. _

I was completely honest with the self-defense, shoot, sword, and many other trainings I've had over the past months. Hell I even admitted how many times I've been in the hospital afterwards or that I was badly injured from our hunting nights. And when I told them about the dead bodies, that we burned each one of the corpses after we killed the vampire, I swear, I could smell the burning flesh as if I just did that...burning the last remains of the undead. A cold shower ran through me and goosebumps built.

After I came to the tricky part where I clarified that we tried to escape after the vampires found us but that they were faster and caught us, Michael and Charlie shook their heads, rubbed their temples as if to make the information easier to sink in. Of course they understand what I said, after all I just cleared that neither Jason or I were close to the house when the bloodsuckers must have set it on fire.

The underground capital with the masters wasn't pleasant either. I shivered when memories of the Volturi hit me once again. When the pictures became so vivid just like in my nightmares. I left out how painful and devastating it was, knew they got a pretty perfect picture anyway with Jason being converted, me mentally tortured, even killed almost twice but brought back with vampire blood, or where Jasper's friends were concerned. Though I did stop talking once. I didn't say anything about the cuts and skipped that part completely but went on with our escape and how I met Rachel.

"...She was the person who actually persuaded me to call you otherwise I would probably never have done it.... I did horrible things but I honestly don't have any remorse about killing those monsters, hell they deserved it. My life in these past months was crazy and brought me close to death several times. How I survived I really don't know. Sometimes it felt as if something besides vampires was there and kept me alive besides those two occasions with the blood. But traveling, observing, learning, training and killing was all I did.

I know it is much to digest. I'm not even so sure that it was the right thing to do. But I thought I owed you that much. After what Michael told me, I was so shocked and surprised about how much you actually knew that I felt so bad I couldn't leave things like they were. I mean keeping you in the dark. Though I am honest, the story you came up with seemed like a much better deal than what I've got, almost like in the movies, but the good science fiction ones versus the horror, psychic version. Unfortunately I can't change the truth or the past however and hope that one day both of you can cope with it but most of all believe it."

I blew out my breath in a puff when I reached the end to the story. When I looked up I saw it was dark outside. It took hours, my throat burned, my chest felt heavy and I was scared of condemnation, scared of them thinking me a loony. To my benefit neither of them talked, but their eyes told volumes. Sorrow, fear, shame, awareness, shock and uppermost compassion switched through them.

I felt drained and exhausted although it wasn't physical labor. My mind hasn't stopped yet. The images still showed up and they weren't all nice and beautiful. _I'm done with it. I promised I would do my part and that's what I did. They look at me as if I just told them the earth is going to be destroyed __by tomorrow. Maybe I should just leave them alone for a while. _

Just as I rose Charlie asked for me to stay. "Sorry that was rude. But this...I mean I... this is so. Hell I don't know. As you can imagine I played with my own fantasies, but phew, this whole thing just took a complete new level of...everything. Vampires? You hunting them?

God I never expected or spent even the tiniest thought about them. I mean they are like horror movie figures, fantasy creatures from books, things that don't exist." _Could I have read them so wrong? What did I expect, that they would be all nice and sweet to me? You are so dumb. _

I stopped him right there, my blood was starting to heat up again, something in me didn't like where he was going. _I can't handle it. Not right now. _"Stop that!" I yelled. "I don't want to hear anymore than that. I just spilled everything embarrassing, humiliating and devastating that ever happened to me. I just told you the most important part of my life and the only thing you can think of is that it is crazy that the monsters I hate the most really are living side by side with us?"

Both Michael and my dad tried to stop me but I just screamed and cried louder. "Well then let me tell you something else. My life was a fucking hell and still is and it won't ever stop. I know pain just as good as I do my own thoughts, it's a constant companion you could say. I have nightmares ever since the first day I've met one of them. And sometimes they get so bad that I don't know whether they are real or just a dream.

I am haunted, I am broken, I am not even sure that I am sane most of the time because there are days even I can't believe all this shit. Back in Volterra, I was ready, I wanted to leave, wanted to escape in a better world. I am not scared to die anymore and I had the chance twice. But hey, I wasn't granted this tiny little gift of mortals. No, I was pulled back before I eventually could have reached the "light" so many people talk of. Well let them know that there isn't one. There is just pitch black silence, but still it would be better than another day in hell with living monsters all around me.

But you know what I don't care anymore. The past strengthened me and I can be as cruel and brutal as they are and you know what it's not frightening at all. I just not give a shit. I walk through the dark all day, even when the sun is up but somehow it never really reaches me. I kill when I have to and won't have a second thought about it.

I don't know whether the vampires are hunting me now since I was the person who more or less destroyed their master coven. I have one friend who now is also a vampire and lives with others of his kind but I miss him, miss him dearly and badly. Some think I am a crazy bitch but hey I can live with that too.

But do you know what I cannot live without and it's rather surprising for myself but that's the way it is. I can't bear your reaction right now. And if you think you could lock me up or get me in any way. Well let me make something very clear. I've learned a lot and won't make the same mistakes twice. Which means when I leave, I leave for good."

Somewhere between all the yelling and screaming, my dad got up and embraced me while I cried my lungs out. I shouldn't have let him but it felt so good, I betrayed myself yet again. He stroked my hair and tried to calm me, but I was so devastated and felt beyond deceived I just couldn't stop.

"Bella, baby, I am so sorry, so very sorry. I never wanted you to think I don't believe you. You just interrupted so quickly before I could finish."

I sobbed and hiccuped. "Do you really think I'd like to hear from my own dad that I'm a nutcase?"

"Oh no, not at all. Like I said I wasn't finish. I don't know where to start or what would be the proper thing to say. I believe everything you say, though it's hard I am honest. But I know you would never ever make something like this up. It explains everything. Many unsolved cases. It all makes perfect sense though it's scary to think about it. And even more so that YOU, my little girl, my only daughter went out into the world and fought these, these creatures and I wasn't there or did even know.

I can't believe I was so blind not to see what you were doing. Completely oblivious! Michael and I... we came up with conspiracy, eventual criminal activities and that's why you lived with someone from the CIA. It's almost laughable what we thought huh? God I...I...how horrible.

When did you become so brave and even more stubborn to do such a thing? People are suppose to run away from vampires and not hunting them, right?" He said it more to himself than to us. I could see he was in deep thought, his eyes far away. I was beyond relieved but also beyond upset with myself about my outburst. I should kick my ass for that.

Michael's voice came up from behind. I totally forgot about him which showed me how unfocused I really was. Fortunately I was save. But in case of vampires it would have been deadly. "Bella I owe you more than an apology for not knowing, for not helping, for not doing anything at all. I failed as godfather, as your friend, as your keeper."

_How can they think that? That's ridiculous. _

"I don't know what to do right now. I'm scared for you. I can't believe what you did, how you did it. I have now experience with vampires which I am happy for, but all the things you said, I actually don't even want to start to comprehend what it must have been like?"

He gave me a tissue, looking all distraught and almost miserable at me. Once I blew my nose, swallowed the remains of my outburst, I took a deep breath and leaned against the kitchen counter to keep some distance. Both looked with too much sad eyes at me, making me feel small and uncomfortable.

"I apologize for the screaming part, it was unnecessary and out of place. And I think I honestly need some alone-time right now, so please excuse me." Without a glance I walked out. Trembling and shuttering while I went upstairs.

I hated myself, hated my feelings, hated almost everything at this moment. I shivered so much that I waited for the moment to see my very own breath.

With angled legs I rocked back and forth, sitting in the corner on the floor, my head on my knees, eyes closed. _I thought I'd feel better, but instead I am dreadful. Bella you just gave them the shock of their lives! And now why this is all over, what are you going to do? What will be in the __future for me? More vampires, more dead, more killings, a life maybe? _

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